05 Jul Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 07/03/2015 – Adam Goldberg and Kristen Carney, Live from The Irvine Improv
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Adam Goldberg and Kristen Carney, Live from The Irvine Improv
Recorded 07-02-2015 – Release Date 07-03-2015
Production Number #1608
Adam has a pre/post recorded intro where he gives out some plugs for upcoming events and does some live reads then they launch into the live show.
Adam opens the show to a funny Independence Day intro, Adam has a ‘mandate to get it on” intro and welcomes Kristen Carney to the show along with Adam Goldberg, Adam jokes about this being Adam Goldberg’s first time in Orange County, joking about how they feel about Jews there.
Adam takes it to ‘Saving Private Ryan’ almost immediately, Adam says you like Vin Diesel in a movie, what else can you say about a film.
Adam is killing it with a funny “Jew die” one liner while trying to steer Adam away from the topic of that movie while on stage trying to be funny, he doesn’t seem to know what goes on here.
Adam Goldberg was on Classic Loveline 3 times
WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 12, 1998 – GUEST: ADAM GOLDBERG • ADAM, DR. DREW
TUESDAY, OCTOBER 26, 1999 – GUEST: ADAM GOLDBERG • ADAM, DR. DREW
THURSDAY, DECEMBER 18, 2003 – GUEST: ADAM GOLDBERG • ADAM, DR. DREW
Kristen Carney is back making her 6th overall appearance, she was first on for ACS #1296 as a guest and then returned for ACS #1499, ACS #1500 and ACS #1501 filling in (trying out kind of) as the newsgirl/sidekick and was back on ACS #1567 filling in as the News Girl.
Adam jokes about having to wear a yellow star to indicate his Judaism, Adam rhymes the name ‘Tom Sizemore’ and cites the problems he may have been having at the time.
Adam is sharing how he would have reacted to the cast boot camp and Adam is now describing the attempted revolt they had about 2 days into the process, Tom Hanks made a deal and they went home a day early to rest before filming.
Adam Goldberg is sharing the morning run he did with Tom Sizemore and his best old pal Giovanni Ribisi, Adam plugs Adam Goldberg’s new movie and says he watched it last night and compliments the film along with the music done for the movie.
Adam says it’s a great “date night” movie even though he doesn’t know what dating means nowadays, Adam is joking about going on a limb, the phrase with a Selfie stick alternative as you’re probably no longer allowed to climb trees unless you’re a member of the arbor society.
Adam is now sharing is Adam Carolla replacement for the title of the children’s pool game Marco Polo, he leaves out the ‘Adam’s Jacking off in the Jacuzzi’ line that replaces “fish out of water” for catching cheating participants, hilarious slave or your wife banging comment.
Adam talks about his kids yelling for the shotgun seat in the car, Adam remarks on that not being PC in today’s world, he reacts to Kristen’s “black people carry glocks” comment, Adam steers out of it.
Adam is making a point about humans and the 0 advantage of sitting in the front seat, he says the only part that makes them want the seat is to fuck with the other person who lives in their house, you only want the front seat to stop someone else from getting it, the inner douchebag in all of us.
Adam wants to know the statute of limitations on calling shotgun, everyone is now weighing in and BB calls Kristen on her bullshit rule.
Adam jokes about what he would say to Gina regarding not traveling with his own airbags like her, Adam Goldberg shares how he was only and always in shotgun as a child of divorce.
Adam is explaining how his dad had another family when he was in his 20’s and Adam comments on his own “step things floating out there too” and asks Adam Goldberg about his artistic abilities and what role the free time and lack of input played in him developing these other skills.
Adam Goldberg is now ordering two beers and chicken tenders, Adam comments on him driving down to the gig and falling in love on the drive and not having time to eat.
Q and Ace
1st Question from Sylvia? Adam interacts with someone from the audience, she corrects him on her name and she has BB read her question, Adam says she sounds drunk but doesn’t look drunk.
She explains her guy (husband?) has had them living without water or power for many months while he remodels their house.
She wants to kill her husband, Adam says if you’re going to kill a butcher wait until he falls asleep, wait until he exits in the butcher mobile before ironically stabbing him.
Adam Goldberg just went full bukake and Adam Carolla jokes about him simulating oral on him to explain the crowd reaction, he spilled ranch all over his shirt and flashed his rad physique to the excited crowd.
Adam is now trying to help him with the ranch, Adam comments on him being killed by seagulls on the way back to his car.
The lady in the crowd got her daughter a job at Taco Bell and Adam is asking her if she’s a blonde working there, Adam jokes about all of her coworkers thinking she’s a plant from the home office, “someone’s been skimming beans!” – Adam
Adam talks to her partner George the Butcher.
2nd Question from Tina, she’s a year younger than Fergie and BB comments on it, Adam compliments her looks and they ask her about her job.
They find out she’s engaged to the guy sitting next to her and now Adam is sharing how he doesn’t want to fuck up his next marriage.
“That valley is not hidden from Adam Goldberg!” – Adam on Adam spilling ranch on himself.
Adam is now asking how much feigned interest the guy should show while planning the event, she says she’s going to plan everything.
BB shares how got married at Yellowtail and Adam is now responding to BB saying that Adam showed up late, Adam says it will all come out in the transcripts.
Adam is explaining how women lull themselves into a false sense of security by basing their timeframe to get ready of the men in their lives, Adam says he isn’t putting it all together until they leave the door.
Tina now asks the guy when they’re going to be getting married, her dude is commenting on “up lining” and Kristen has a great call back to her earlier line.
Adam is now asking the dude about Tina, he reveals he’s a purchasing agent and Adam says that’s one of those party things where someone tells you their job and then you move on.
Adam Goldberg is acting out a scene with Adam, they should keep doing these!
Adam is talking about meeting someone at a kid’s party, he met a dude who does outdoor signage.
Adam is now riffing on the types of questions he made up for this guy to feign interest, BB asks him if he works with Tom Sizemore and the dude reveals he works with construction.
Adam asks him some basic questions, he has limited indoor lighting knowledge only.
Tina wants to know if Adam ever talks to Natalie from the Dixie Chicks, Adam Goldberg asks which one.
The prank originated with a phone call from Natalie Maines people asking him to accompany her to The Grammy’s, she was single and liked him from the MTV variant of Loveline.
This is the night Adam took her to the Grammy Awards
WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 24, 1999 – GUEST: TIA CARRERE • HOST: ADAM, DR. DREW
Then during the next couple months Jimmy Kimmel started up an epic prank that was told in full on this episode of Loveline
TUESDAY, MAY 4, 1999 – GUEST: JON CRYER • HOST: ADAM, DR. DREW
And the Dixie Chicks themselves guested on the show for this episode where Adam walked them through the prank, beat by beat.
THURSDAY, MAY 6, 1999 – GUEST: DIXIE CHICKS • HOST: ADAM, DR. DREW
Adam jokes about Adam Goldberg not knowing anything about their band and music, he jokes about them pretending not to know him or his work if he brought them up to them.
Adam remarks on the photo of Natalie, he says that he didn’t turn up the volume on ‘Wide Open Spaces’ as not to piss off Lynette during a recent experience where they were listening to music with the kids.
Adam Goldberg remarks on his famous exes and tells people to google it, Adam that Adam Goldberg has to have had relationships with famous women, he mentions Julie Delpy.
Adam is now telling a shortened version of the Grammy Award date story and explains the conversation that a dude would understand but a chick doesn’t.
Adam talks about someone in the audience looking like a cross between his dad and Angel from ‘The Rockford Files’ and shares his “9 out of 10 things are good” line he used with Lynette about his fame and what it brings to her life.
Adam is now comparing the audience member to the two photos, Adam is telling him not be bashful and BB asks for someone to help him down.
Adam is giving the play by play of the Grammy Awards with the Dixie Chicks, Adam shares how he was praying they wouldn’t win so he could avoid the hug/congratulations and Adam jokes about Lynette’s full Italian heritage and voodoo dolls she was crafting.
Adam is now shortening the prank story, telling Adam Goldberg about the prank, Adam is asking Gina what his move was with the flowers, and Gina recalls Adam’s flower re-gift from Tori Amos for an ex previous to Lynette, probably Cynthia.
Adam is now going over their first phone call to Natalie, Adam Goldberg is continually amazed by the amount of time Adam was with Lynette before this event.
Adam talks about his hypothetical pieces of pussy that he never fucked and jokes about Lynette wanting to punch Fergie when she came onto him, Gina was asking if Adam ever even considered going for it with Natalie.
Adam and Adam joke about Adam cashing in on that hypothetical pussy, Adam Goldberg g jokes about his ranch Jizz covered attire.
Adam is back to the story and tells them about the 6 foot sub sandwich, Adam Goldberg has some great subtext.
Adam sings that’s he’s “filling wide open spaces” and is now to the spent panties part of the story, he describes his multiple victory laps around the office, Adam Goldberg is objecting to this part of the story, it’s true!
Adam asks the audience what they would do with Natalie’s panties, she just won the Grammy, and you need to take the victory laps.
Adam is now to the phone call part where the prank was revealed, he’s giving all of the beats.
Adam is killing this, it’s a perfect variant of the story, it could not be told better nor have better reactions from the people on stage and the crowd.
Adam jokes about sending flowers to Lucious and getting a phone call from that heavy set black man at 4am, Adam Goldberg is in awe and Adam is now getting to the panties at the behest of Kristen, Adam Goldberg jokes that they were Sarah Silverman’s but his math is a bit off, funny line though.
Adam says that ten years later, he was telling this story at the Wiltern and Jimmy Kimmel came out and told him the panties belonged to the receptionist Angela, it was 13yrs later btw.
Adam is back to how Jimmy described the horrified woman watching him do his “fire-eater routine” and Adam jokes about Jimmy taking the panties from the receptionist.
Adam is now recounting how the Dixie Chicks showed up to do Loveline a year later, it was 3 months later.
Gina asks Kirsten if that would have ended a female relationship, she doesn’t reply audibly.
Adam is talking about how Jimmy started planning this immediately after hearing about the Grammy date, Adam Goldberg wants the videotape, and Adam says Jimmy has it but doesn’t mention that it’s been lost for 16 years and only has a short time left before it’s unsalvageable.
Adam plugs Kristen’s dates and gets into it with Gary and Dawson about the 4th of July themed Totally Topical TiVo Trivia Time Tonight.
Adam Goldberg orders a new beer, Adam asks for a beer or Mangria.
They skip the game.
1st Story is on the legalization of Marijuana in Oregon, Adam is now saying Gay should marry and heshers should unite and we can then move on with our lives.
Adam is lamenting his precious bitching time that’s being wasted, Adam drank Goldberg’s beer and Adam jokes about his alcohol problem.
Gina asks if Adam has a “recommendation” and Adam describes the “sleepy time pot” from Dawson that didn’t knock him out but made him enjoy everything on the TV much more.
Adam Goldberg shares the story of his mom grounding him for trying to get pot from the neighbor when she would’ve given him hers, after Adam brings up his mom’s pot plant.
They’re now riffing about the oedipal nature of Adam Goldberg’s mom’s request and Adam jokes about him eating her pussy, holy shit this is gold!
Adam says his mother called them herbal cigarettes and Adam says you get judged way more for smoking a cigarette over weed today.
Adam talks about being in an old guy’s house who was puffing away on a pack of cigarettes, Adam is asking what’s so bad about that, why can’t this widower smoke himself into an early 90’s grave.
Adam is talking about his envelope house, Adam says that this old guy lives in a house that Adam was thinking about demolishing in order to get the land.
Adam is commenting on the weirdness of looking at a house you’re only thinking of bulldozing, he comments on how Natalia declared a bedroom hers even though she knew the plan, just to bug Sonny and establish control.
2nd Story is on TV Land doing away with reruns of ‘The Dukes of Hazzard’ and Adam is commenting on the forefathers growing hemp in America.
Adam says they also grew slaves and nobody brings that part up, Gina brings up how cotton did away with hemp, she’s partially right.
Adam is doing another lap on slaves who were keeping an eye on the weed all day vs. the cotton picking days to follow, Gina references the queen Latifah story.
Adam is back to ‘Saving Private Ryan’ and messes up the details of the war, Gina is now reading the details regarding the end of the reruns for the show.
Adam is mocking the decision and Gina reads how Warner Brothers is now doing away with the licenses merchandise, Adam and Adam agree who the fuck cares either way.
3rd Story is on Tin Dog, an app to connect someone with other dog owners for dates, Gina has the details and Adam jokes about fucking his own dog.
Adam is bringing up the asshole sniffing and tangled leashes of dog’s meeting, Adam is describing his dong and Jensen’s family dog sniffing each other’s assholes in some bizarre yin yang.
4th Story is on The Monopoly movie, licensed from the board game, Gina has the details.
BB uses the LEGO movie to make his point about this possible being good, Adam is now bringing up the iron piece from the game and how nobody wanted to use it.
They’re going over the pieces, Adam has a clever thimble joke after saying he treated it like a fucked up hate, not enough people react to the “wife doesn’t sew” joke.
5th Story is on a gun range owner in Florida who wants to get a liquor license for his range, BB and Gina have a USA chant.
Adam is now being fair and says that most gunplay that you will have in life will be with a 4 beer buzz, this might be the best training.
Adam asks how fucked out “Top Gun” is since the movie came out, Adam is mocking the various “Top Gun” businesses.
Gina says she would prefer an alcohol free gun range, Adam is killing it riffing about her only options of being double teamed if she doesn’t prepare.
Adam is joking about being trained for gunplay while blacked out so then with a three beer buzz he’ll be unstoppable.
Adam says you need to know the truth and tells everyone to get drunk and go home and play with their guns tonight.
6th Story is on a pregnant woman who gave birth and survived on her own after becoming stranded in California, Adam is riffing about fending off B’s after hearing about the woman fending off bees, Adam asks where the husband is and Gina tells him to come on.
Adam is commenting on the human legacy of outdoor births and Gina wraps up the news as they joke about her hospital gown.
Adam is doing a Mazda Live Read
Gina and Kristen both have a Mazda 3, Adam is excited
Adam gives out the plugs, telling people to just check out Kirsten’s website and gives a very sincere plug for Adam Goldberg’s new movie.
Adam closes out the show, Adam Goldberg must return for a studio episode, he would be a great guest there too, and a new regular I hope!