16 Jun Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 06/11/2015 – Nate Jackson and David Wild
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Nate Jackson and David Wild
Recorded 06-10-2015 – Release Date 06-11-2015
Production Number #1592
Adam opens the show to an “Author and Former Long Snapper” intro, he thanks the fans and begs they support the pirate ship so two of them don’t have to go back to Terrestrial radio.
BB has a #TopDrop referencing Bruce’s passive aggressive behavior yesterday, Adam says whether he knows he’s doing it or not he needs to be put down.
Adam says told Bruce he wasn’t mad at him but he had to leave like a manager pulling a pitcher for throwing three over the backstop.
BB has such glee in his voice mocking Bruce, Adam is sharing his experience driving back from the 110 Freeway and describes the “familiar and consistent” sadness of the lives of the people he sees.
BB has a point about going for medium priced sushi over the budget stuff, Adam has a nice Sambos joke and now Gina asks if people just stopping seeing these things, she calls it “clutter blindness” and Adam sings the praises of ‘Good Neighbors’ over Denny’s and Adam says it’s why McDonalds flourishes and why his dog eats the same food every day and night.
Adam is talking about how the house they were visiting was a nightmare and describes the neighborhood, Adam says that the garbage man covered his face while driving past the cameraman on site filming ‘Catch a Contractor’.
Adam is explaining that the sting houses are often for sale, not all the time but sometimes they use houses that are for sale.
Adam says he was told the house was selling for 400k and it was a place he didn’t want to touch anything in, like Mr. Burns with a doily between him and his seat.
Adam wants to know why anyone would move to Los Angeles to get such a shitty place for so much money, he talks about the relative land and home prices for other places.
Adam says the minimum wage should be 41$ an hour according to this math regarding the housing prices.
Adam says he talked to his mom and his stepdad when they came over the other day, Adam says it’s nice when a stranger gets to lay eyes on his mom and stepdad, he is able to feel sympathy when someone like Jodi tells him his stepdad resembles a bee keeper
BB says he does and Adam explains why she said felt that way.
BB has even more input, Adam talks about the tagged up tree he has ranted about in the past, he brings up his stepdad’s ability to do grown up stuff.
Adam explains both houses were purchased in 1958 and he explains the property transfer process throughout his family lineage over the past 57 years.
Adam is going over the approximate square footage, he explains it’s a pile of shit one bedroom and says that most people will take a “place to die” for free over finding their own better living situation.
A wise point about hand outs and dependence and how it stifles people ala “If I get a job they’ll take away my welfare” and they transition to a commercial after BB and Gina chime in for a bit.
Adam is doing a live read for JackThreads.com
Hilarious scissor fart move edition
BB demands Adam finish a tale of two shitty houses, Adam gives a quick wrap up of the details as he spots David Wild on the blower I presume.
David Wild is now making his 85th appearance on the show, phoners do count, shit now I have to figure out how many times he’s been in studio vs. over the phone and if it bumps up his numbers.
Davis promoting the CNN original series ‘The Seventies’ and Adam says he’s in love with this series, he says he saw ’The Eighties’, David tells him he saw ‘The Sixties’ and Adam realizes he was talking about another series, the CNN series is going in order and have yet to do that decade.
Adam is commenting on the decade of the 1970’s and David shares how his favorite movies, music and politicians all come from that decade.
Adam is commenting on the gritty look of the films of the era, David now explains how the series covers the history of Monday Night Football and has some interesting details about the Norman Lear elements to the series.
Adam is praising ‘All in the Family’ and 1970’s era Monday Night Football and the hosts of that era and Adam is now telling them about ‘Movies That Men Don’t Want to See’ and the Levar Burton incident.
David is now telling Adam where he is, Adam gives a nice plug and David has a nice Tom Hanks quote, Adam wraps with David and Adam says that Tom is starting to become akin to Paul Newman in that his name is synonymous with quality.
Adam is now reacting to the clip of ‘Pioneer Dads’ and Adam is now trying to conjure up another made up movie from the recurring bit.
“They killed his wife, they burned down his ranch and now he’s going whoring” – Adam trying to remember the tagline from something he thinks was called ‘Plenty of Time for Justice’ and now is asking about a clip from ‘Real Sports’ and BB recalls the last time Nate Jackson was on the ACS.
Nate was last on ACS #1256 and now Adam is reacting to the clip of the woman asking about marijuana for pain management.
They’re all mocking the way these TV journalists pretend to be unaware of a term, citing Barbara Walters and her questions about ‘tea bagging’ and Adam is sharing how we know she’s full of shit due to her preproduction meetings.
Adam is throwing it to the phones but has a live read first.
Adam is now doing a live read for Burger King and the Croissan’wich
Adam loves croissants edition
Q and Ace
1st Caller Brandon, he wants to know Adam’s reaction to the first time he had a million dollars in the bank, Adam says he only saw his social security statement, he didn’t ever check his accounts.
Adam says the first thing he did was hire a money manager, using a guy he went to high school with and BB says it’s a smart idea and you can write off your tax preparation fees so it’s a win/win.
Adam is lamenting his quarterly taxes and bummed he gets when his money guy tells him the 250k in the bank is owed to the IRS.
Gina now is piggybacking on Brandon’s question and wants to know if there was an amount of money where Adam felt like he had “made it” and now Adam is talking about how all of his family now have cable that he’s not on TV as much.
Adam is talking about his grandfather Lotzi and Gary chimes in to ask if his family now watch ‘Catch a Contractor’ and Adam fake mocks him for talking about a dead guy watching cable TV.
Adam is now explaining how Lotzi took care of him and Adam is now sharing the “Are you making a million dollars a year/money doesn’t buy happiness” story, Adam jokes about this being further “Jew Jitsu” his made up concept explaining Jewish stereotypes about their gift with words and conversation.
Gina goes over it with him and Adam asks Brandon what he can get for 400k in Detroit.
2nd Caller Wesley, his wife is religious and wants him to play guitar in the church band, Adam is now asking him if he knew his wife was this devout and Adam has a killer ‘Only Women Bleed’ acoustic demand for Wes to make before he plays with the rest of the guys.
Adam is asking if there are any black people in the church band and he says all white church bands go bad, Adam says ‘Black Don’t Crack but Black do back’ regarding the black bass player and drummer.
Adam tells him to rock out and make his wife happy, Adam is explaining how despite his atheism he shows respect for other’s beliefs and institutions.
3rd Caller Carl, he wants to know why Adam didn’t join the military, Adam says he was a pussy and had a residual bad taste in his mouth regarding the late 70’s societal POV on the military, the baby killer stuff.
Adam says he would get home sick, not for his home but for his friends and family and says he relied on those people and their homes so much he couldn’t be away from them.
Adam explains how he would have joined the Coast Guard.
4th Caller Zach, he wants to know what Adam thinks of bidets, Adam says any time those parts can get cleaner its’ a good thing.
Zach is now sharing a brownie batter analogy for ass wiping, Gina asks if it had to be brownie batter, Adam says he’s with Zach and Zach mocks people who are somehow homophobic regarding water cleaning their butthole.
Funny reaction from BB, Adam has a killer “Gay Water from Fagland Springs” line and now shares his idea for an energy drink for gay guys.
Gina is now weighing in and Adam pitches the ‘Nut Explosion’ flavor and says he could call it GUBU, Adam thinks he might have put this in one of his books.
Adam says he will only hire gay employees and Richard Hatch from ‘Survivor’ will be his spokesman, Adam is joking about the bottle shape and says he’ll tell them about that during the break.
Adam is doing a True Car Live Read
They head to break. Gary shares how you can save several thousand dollars by driving 60 miles, Adam is now telling parents to get their kids this app.
They’re back from break with Nate making his 2nd appearance, linked earlier in the blog.
They return to a ‘Brokeback Mountain’ “Nicaraguan Name That Movie” and now Adam is asking Nate about the marijuana part of his book that led to this recent publicity in the media regarding that small part of his book.
Adam say that these guy who play top level sports need to smoke weed, Adam is commenting on test fighter pilots who often suffer from alcoholism and explains why using some plain language.
Nate is now sharing the challenges of playing professional football, he says that there are recent studies about marijuana possibly alleviating damage and the effects of head trauma.
Nate is sipping on some Mangria, Adam is giving his take on how harmless Marijuana is and wants to know why it’s illegal today, solely due to the stigma?
Nate is sharing how you don’t want to be high while playing football and shares how every year 300 players end up on the injured reserved and those guys need pain relief.
Adam is now asking why the guys in the NFL aren’t allowed to have a weekend with weed, he says it seems like an overreach of the NFL and Adam says it’s all about image after Nate gives his insiders take.
Adam laments how the NHL kept the players off Loveline and how he realized they were overcompensation for their super violent sport, they did have hockey players once or twice.
Adam is now giving them a for instance tells them about shooting ‘Catch a Contractor’ and BB chimes which leads to a funny back and forth.
Adam says doesn’t even need a mark and explains how his years of football taught him what 10 yards means.
Nate agrees and is sharing how football coaching works and micromanaged players are to get the best performance, he explains how they get media training boot camp and Adam asks him about being able to follow instruction.
Adam is sharing how he can’t even give basic directions to people now, Gina says “100 Yards” is the worst measurement you can give a woman and shares why she feels that way.
Adam is saying that if you don’t play organized sports or spend time in musical theater you’re not going to know how to hit a mark.
Nate explains how it feels to be on the roster and then get cut, he shares how everyone gets cut and Adam talks about retiring after one year of L.A. Valley College football, he jokes about riding back to his dad’s house on his 10 speed.
Nate has some wise points about coaches who can’t pull off physical feats critiquing his abilities and now they’re asking him further in depth questions.
They’re talking about the profession of coaching and Nate has a line about it being a good job if you don’t like your wife, hilarious reply from Adam.
Adam is now doing a Castrol live read
Adam is riffing about Nate picturing a bong on a shelf, hilarious “oil is the pan” riff.
“More slippery than Walter Payton in his prime” – Adam
Adam gives out some plugs for his stuff.
1st Story is on Chet Haze and his advice from his parents, Adam stops to explain they had Rude Jude from SiriusXM guested on the most recent ADS.
Gina is now reading the details and Adam is riffing about how he will explain the opportunities his kids have and how he’ll give them a lesson about “Hank” a hobo with serious knife skills who he will dispatch to “take care of business” should his kids embarrass him ala Chet.
Nate says he’ll be that hobo, Gina has more details about Chet and she plays a clip of his music.
Adam says it’s horrible like everything is horrible now, Gina is further impersonates Chet.
2nd Story is on the Duggar Family’s recent child welfare inquiry and Adam explains how at some point having kids becomes abuse when you have too many.
Adam is sharing how he took Natalia out for a daddy daughter dinner before taking Sonny to the set of ‘Catch a Contractor’ and Gina is sharing the details of the 911 call.
Gina has the rest of the story and Adam says regardless of race he hates people who have too many children, he comments on 9 kids in housing projects and shares how we play god all of the time in society.
3rd Story is on the benefits of watching ‘Sesame Street’ for young kids, Adam says he hates all of that children’s entertainment bullshit, Adam jokes about Sesame Street being better than ‘Saw 3’ for young kids to be viewing.
Adam is back to how we only need society to raise kids when parental units are lacking, Gina comments on the longevity of ‘Sesame Street’ and now Adam is referencing his nanny Olga, he jokes about hiring ‘Hank’ to take over as Nanny.
Adam is sharing his “exposed to good” theory about showing his kids good cartoons over things like “Wow! Wow! Wubbzy” and “You’re the coolest” and now Adam is going into a live read.
Adam and Gary are doing a Live Read for ‘Tyrant’ on FX
Gary is now playing them ‘You’re the Coolest’ and Adam wants to order a drone strike on whomever wrote this piece of shit.
Adam jokes about him being himself walking around eating cereal out of the box and wants to know who will recognize him as the coolest.
Adam is mocking the broken logic of the song lyrics and says that the lack of the golden rule is the thread that is unraveling society.
Adam says kids are retarded adults and how creating programming for retarded people results in shows like this, Adam cites all of the good TV shows you can’t write for.
Adam has some funny examples of respectable employment in comparison.
“Guess who isn’t the coolest, you dickhead, fuck yourself!” – Adam
Hilarious rant and nice closing energy 180 from Ace.
4th Story is on an iOffer listing for a Charles Manson signature on a Beatles album, Adam and the gang are all weighing in on the price tag.
Adam says this argument #149 of why he wants the fucking death penalty, Adam says we don’t need a universal rule for every crime, we can go case by case.
Adam is explaining how we could have killed Ted Bundy much sooner and saved some women’s lives.
Adam likes the society that puts down people who kill others, Adam is sharing how if he feels like killing prostitutes and starts doing that feel free to take him out.
5th Story is on a blind woman who was saved by her service dog who protected her from an approaching bus.
Adam jokes about his dog Molly telling him the coast was clear and how she recently woke him up again and how modern science and medicine have allowed dogs to extend their lifespans much longer.
Adam is now sharing his riff about how much money he needs, how he needs enough to live the life of his family, dog included.
Gina is asking Adam about what time he leaves before work for ‘Catch a Contractor’ and he shares how he’s coached them up and tells them to get Ty Pennington if they don’t like his “you get one hour” rule for call times.
Gina closes the news to Adam’s hilarious quote from earlier in the show.
Adam has a Squatty Potty Live Read
Chemo and NFL poop edition thanks to BB and Nate.
“Something for pops” father’s day angle from Ace, Adam plugs his book and Nate’s book as well.
Adam thanks their intern Lauren and Adam says even Matt overcomes his “catty nature” to say kind things about her performance level, very cool!