14 Jun Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 06/14/2016 – Chris Denman, Travis Terrell, and Jo Koy
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Chris Denman, Travis Terrell, and Jo Koy
Recorded 06-13-2016 – Release Date 06-14-2016
Production Number #1842
Adam opens the show to a funny C-Word/Seaward intro and BB has a funny “talking out of my ass” #TopDrop from Adam.
Gary says they don’t have the big news this week but it will be coming up next week instead, Adam is now joking about BB having AIDS and that’s the big news, very funny riff with BB.
Adam talks about Mark Geragos being in the studio and how he feels about cops, Adam says he told Mark about his jaywalking ticket story where he successfully fought it.
Adam is citing the time he sold his motorcycle and crashed it after paying Adam, Adam explains he took it to a repair shop and sold it to another guy and the dude who crashed was out 100$ and Adam makes a point about “cash in pocket” and BB brings up gift card change for balances under 10$.
BB has a specific example with “Urban Fucking Home” (Urban Home) and Adam brings up his 1500 gift card from Stone Stanley at the Barney’s store where he forced them to cash him out on the gift card.
Jo is mocking the shitty items they will try and upsell you on to finish off your gift card balance, Adam is now riffing about the shitty roadside items for sale in Tijuana, only the things drunken people would by if they had extra paseos burning a hole in their pocket.
Adam is back to Geragos and he explains that he got the same jaywalking ticket while crossing over to his law office and Adam talks about the safety angle.
Adam now sets up a clip of Geragos from this week’s upcoming ‘Reasonable Doubt’ and Mark explains how he got setup for a jaywalking ticket by a motorcycle cop.
Adam is now commenting on Mark’s story and sharing his origin of “Rapebank” and now Mark is listing off various criminal acts going on around him and the officer ticketing him for nothing.
Adam is now reacting to the clip and says the cops are just money collectors for the government, this is the city telling the cops what they need and it’s starting to feel like our government is turning into a larger collection agency.
Adam says politicians aren’t even mincing their words anymore, it’s clearly just a collection system designed to redistribute, steal and spread wealth.
BB wonders if the money collected from bullshit tickets ends up being the state’s operating budget, Adam says he got his first parking ticket in well over a decade.
Adam says he goes through life like Ralph Nader driving a car, he wears his seatbelt before he turns the car on and avoids parking tickets at all costs, he refuses to pay the city another dime.
Adam is talking about his barber “American Model Cuts’ and Adam is now riffing with Jo as one of the nail salon women.
Adam talks about his wife and daughter dissolving their brains with nail polish and removers.
Adam wants Jo to be the nail woman, he explains how the fumes are now overwhelming the barbershop and he wants to know why nail polish can be oil based and full of chemicals that we don’t allow in house paint in 2016.
Adam is talking about the benzene fumes and Adam is now having Jo play the nail woman, he is trying to tell her how bad the fumes are.
Jo as the nail lady is mocking Adam’s ugly fingers, Jo is putting his mask on and Adam is now telling him to ventilate the building.
Adam says he doesn’t have a weak finger nail, he has a robust and hearty nail and has been told the same by lovers in his past.
Adam is now going over how he was discussing the nail polish fumes and the lack of ventilation going on for some reason that day and the super unsatisfying replies from the woman running he nail salon/barber shop.
Adam says he was fooled into his ticket by parking on a curb when there was no street parking, Adam says he has never been more confused in his life and Jo is now the black parking enforcement officer.
Jo’s accent work is exceptional and he’s telling Adam to squint and read the sun blasted sign, Adam says he doesn’t use any words that being with n.
Jo tells him he better not and is now further riffing with him, policing his language and says his name is Darknel, the k is silent and Adam mocks him and his sad life of relative poverty and lack of power when it comes to law enforcement.
Jo is threatening to punch Adam in the dick as BB the furniture salesman comes out to ask him a question.
Adam is joking about having a dealer plate and not caring about tickets, if he was driving a car registered to him he would fight it.
Adam is doing a Live Read for Castrol
Gina asks Adam to use his Jay Leno Gibberish to explain why synthetic oil is superior and BB is now his straight man, Adam is declaring Gibberish Leno a new bit just as he did on ADS #353 from last week with Adam Ray.
Adam is talking about cops and meter maids being used as earners to bring in well over their hourly compensation for the city to collect even more blood money off the tax payers.
Adam is talking about the 3% return in the restaurant industry in comparison to the ticket writing industry.
Adam is now ranting about the cone zone and double fines, one retarded kid eating ice cream from a cone, to then call it the “cone zone” and Jo is now a cop asking his superior officer about trying to catch criminals and Adam is riffing about keeping a bank robbers cash for the cop’s coffers.
“how do you know what bank I’m at!?” – Adam as Jo’s superior officer, hilarious deliver!
Adam is joking about writing Jo up for doing his job properly and turning stolen cash into the evidence locker or worse, returning it to the bank or victim.
Adam is now talking about shaking down the illegal immigrants selling flowers on Forest Lawn Drive, Jo is now saying he met a guy who was unable to read a sun blasted sign earlier in the day, so now he’s retconning the improv scene from earlier and removing Darnell (Darknell) and Adam is now ranting about not paying his parking tickets.
BB and Gary both have solid counter points about Adam going to jail for not paying parking tickets and what happens when it comes to register your car again.
BB and Gina both share their red light camera horror stories and Gina has Adam talking about teaching comedy traffic school for 75-90$ per class.
Adam is talking about his horribly scheduled classes, 9 am on a Sunday in Whittier and he argues he should have those hours of traffic school written off in advance, he’s already logged the time.
Adam is doing a Blinds Galore Live Read
It’s a power move to slam the blinds and show someone something, roll the film! Edition
Adam talks about having someone tie his tie for him and leave it on a doorknob so he could just apply and cinch it down when he left in the morning.
Adam is telling them about the business “Lettuce Amuse-U” and Gary is sharing the full information including the “laugh and learn” subtitle for the business.
Adam says that the 1986 date Gary has predates his time teaching comedy traffic school.
Adam says the problem with an unfunny pun for your business is your projecting that you’re not funny, Gary gets on mic again to explain how the company evolved from a straight traffic school to a comedy based one.
Adam has a funny courtroom joke and he shares how they prepared him for his role as a teacher/comedian and told him to fluff up his resume.
Adam recalls pondering if he should even try to lie to the attendees at 9 am, Adam jokes about Cher wanting him to open for but turning her down to teach the class.
Jo asks if Adam ever got laughs and he says oh yeah, he was fucking great and never followed the script, he talks about vetting the “secret shoppers” that were in the classes to catch/test him.
Adam talks about the sad faces of the damned in the classroom meant to suffer and how he could tell the fake plants apart from them.
Adam talks about his crowd work and long lunches, he would take a select group of cool dudes and hot chicks and take off for a 90 Mexican food and margarita lunches.
Jo is playing hector who is asking why he can’t come with them to lunch, Adam says they’re going somewhere with glossy pictures of food, so you know it’s good.
Adam is sharing how he took a long lunch and forgot to tell the rest of the losers not to come back after 30 min. and showed up with a buzz on to them all waiting in the hallway.
Adam is telling them how he taught in Malibu too and jokes about getting herpes there.
Adam is doing a Stamps.com Live Read
The Carolla Digital staff can’t guess package weight edition
Adam is back to his story and he explains how that when you’re single where you work is how you get laid, he talks about restaurant managers and how it’s the best gig for getting laid.
Adam and Jo are mocking the clichés and universal traits of restaurant manager’s offices and comedy club green room couches that never fit.
Adam is saying that as a traffic school instructor he had a chance to get laid unlike on the job site and Jo busts out some Cher, Adam references Jo’s Jon Lovitz and he busts out some more of that impression too.
Adam tells them about the bag of comment cards he would take home and how he would get some solace from the kind words about how he killed and made people’s days better, it was all he had.
Adam says that one of the cards was from a hot chick who included her number, Adam says he called her up and says everything he was doing was against code, he called her up and she didn’t know what he was talking about.
Adam is now sharing the story of a chick form his improv class who was flirting hard only to later reveal she was married.
Adam has a hilarious sticky buns analogy for men and how we don’t hunt for sport, we want to put meat in that trout, that tuna, oh shit…
Jo talks about the hot chick at the bar who wants attention and Adam had Gary write down a note asking how many dudes this has happened to and how many chicks do this weird flirting that’s not going anywhere thing.
Gina asks about guys and Adam launches into a quick survey, Gina admits to having probably done this and Adam gives out the plugs for Jo Koy.
Adam jokes about the Lobsterita served at ‘Red Lobster’ and Adam jokes about pool shaming Jo if his pool is finished before Jo’s.
Adam says that every guy in the shop is saying this has happened to them, Adam contrasts it to black guys and racial profiling.
Adam jokes the hell of a vengeance whack he had that night.
They head to break.
They’re back from break with Chris and Travis who are making their return to the ACS with their first in studio appearance, they were last on ACS #1788 live on stage with the gang.
The play a clip from a recent ‘Take a Knee’ and Adam plugs their radio show out of St. Louis.
Adam praises them for doing a good job on stage, he cites how some radio guys stink up the room for the live shows.
Chris is chiming in about following Jo Koy and Travis thanks Adam for letting them be part of the show, calling it a master class and Adam thanks him for calling him master.
Q and Ace
1st Caller Ben, Adam says sorry for being on hold and hands up with him.
2nd Caller William, he gets a thanks and bye too.
3rd Caller Susan also gets a hi and bye.
4th Caller Kevin gets his own quick hello and polite hang up.
Adam is ow asking the guys about travelling to Honduras for their documentary on tourism in the country, Adam jokes about the genre and having seen many docs based on Honduran tourism.
Adam is joking about Chris calling to ask him about documentary filmmaking and Adam asks why they chose Honduras.
Chris tells them about the 80/20 split and how you can make money for yourself and the locals you employee for the tourism.
Adam jokes about South America being sued by President Trump for using the name “America” and Adam has a funny intentional flub of the name “Magellan” and Adam jokes about Chris looking like he’s been on a lobster cleanse.
Adam says he could go on a lobster cleanse and would be down with that.
Chris brings Travis into the conversation and they talk about how it’s become safer there over the years, Adam asks them about how the guns and active military must make tourists feel safer.
Chris shares the details of some of their friends who encountered a mentally unhealthy person with a plan to stage a mass killing.
Adam is now talking about having a mission in life and humans needing a pursuit, they bring up Jujitsu and Adam is now riffing about getting tapped out in homoerotic ways while mocking Chris.
Chris asks if these mass killing and terrorist acts are more frequent or if we just notice it more, Adam talks about food and being consumed with life itself, BB makes a point about food being a luxury up until very recently.
Adam is now mocking turducken’s and cheese stuffed pizza crust, Adam says there is passion fruit flavored tootsie rolls as he was tweeted the other day.
Adam predicts a hardcore turn toward the Amish country and a simpler life, no TV just erecting barns all day.
Adam says you need to stop sitting in a room turning on yourself with a nonstop social media feed, Adam is mocking the crawls at the bottom of the sports reporting and news.
Adam says we’re just a dog chewing on ourselves and Adam talks about his love of Shakey’s pizza and works in his grunge theory and he explains how most movements are a reaction to what came before.
Adam is joking about Travis needing a reflector to stay safe at night, Adam thinks the unplug movement is coming and Gina mocks people who take short social media vacations.
Adam is recalling Sebastian Junger’s episode of ‘Take a Knee’ and the revelation that Amish people have the lowest instances of suicide.
Adam touches on their doc and moves onto the news.
Adam and Gina are doing a Life Lock Live Read
1st Story is a series of updates on the Orlando mass shooting, Adam says this is like when one of his lackeys says they did their best after Gina tells them about the F.B.I. defending their interview and tactics used while dealing with the shooter last year.
Adam says sometimes you got to eat the bullet and buck up and apologize, Gina talks about how it could be seen as grandstanding while shifting blame to someone else.
Adam jokes about the F.B.I. director and taking accountability, hilarious death threats to the F.B.I. riff from Adam and Adam mocks the likely scenario that he receives less shitty tweets than the dentist who killed Cecil the lion.
Gina has a clip of the F.B.I. director and Adam uses his pause button, oooh!
Adam jokes about Big Tad from KROQ being a huge Bulls fan while they were crushing it in the 90’s and how dumb people do stuff like that, jump on obvious bandwagons they’re in no way connected to.
Adam goes back to the clip and pauses it to comment further about the timeline of 911 calls.
Gina has more details about the gunman’s father and the possible relation he has to his son’s homophobia.
Gina tells them about the shooter’s father and his TV show, Adam would rather watch this guy’s show than another episode of ‘Maude’ and Gina talks about the pro-Taliban slant the guy’s show takes.
Adam jokes about the pork butter emporium finally realizing why they don’t move many units when advertising on the gunman’s father’s shitty pro terrorist TV show.
Adam talks about the “you cannot judge drum” that everyone in Hollywood is constantly beating, Adam says these terrorists are forcing us to do something we’re staunchly against as a nation, profiling.
Adam says our hand is being forced and the terrorists are getting our nation to become more like their nations, they found fertile soil and have done the same to western Europe as well.
Adam is saying we will be forced to do things we don’t want to do and talks about all of the window dressing of discrimination we’re normally dealing with; the rubber doesn’t always meet the road.
Adam and BB are riffing about gay erotic bakeries and Adam has a hilarious ejaculating cake idea.
Adam is saying this is a real argument, a real topic unlike Cecil and Gina says there have been nearly 1,000 of these events since Sandy Hook, she asks do we really care?
Adam is talking about the Academy Awards and how that’s the last place you want to commit terrorism; those are all of your sympathetic ears.
Adam uses the Grim Sleeper and his killing territory to make a point about flying under radar.
Gina has more details about the blood donations in Orlando and she reveals her surprise that gay men cannot donate blood in Florida without having been celibate for a year.
BB is for it and Adam is now being super practical, Adam says that everyone in this country is generally good and is about to cite the KLSX lost wallet stunt/test but instead riffs about blood with the guests, very funny.
Gina has the details on the Go Fund Me page for the Pulse night club victims.
Adam is back to the KLSX wallet stunt they did on the morning show, they got 100% callback results with the cash included every time.
2nd Story is on the Pittsburgh Penguins Stanley Cup win, Gina has some video of their locker room rendition of ‘We Are the Champions’ and Adam says he feels that hockey players are quietly the best celebrators and they all comment on Cuba Gooding Jr. showing up in random places, including that locker room sing along.
They comment on his divorce rumors and Adam is joking about the Sharks logo with the shark eating a hockey stick and he says he would take it to Stanford to teach them about coming up with a definitive logo.
BB comments on Anderson winning big on the Penguins with a 100$ bet, Adam has some kind words and Chris tells them about a porn star offering them chicken wings at the place they are staying.
Gina has a clip from Gary of Cuba Gooding Jr. commenting on the hockey game and letting some language slip on live TV.
Adam says Cuba is going the way of Billy Crystal and the L.A. Clippers in the 1990’s, he’s the brother who likes hockey.
Adam talks about John Salley being a baller in comparison to the hockey players who can get away with more due to their faces being covered and getting to operate under the radar.
Gina wraps the news.
Adam comments on hockey player’s salary not being disclosed to the public and says it’s like being a pro athlete minus all of the trappings that ruin it.
Adam is doing a Live read for the PodcastOne Mobile app and premium experience
Adam has a plug for Nick’s podcast and they wrap up the show with Jo’s Jon Lovitz impression saying the title of ‘Lettuce Amuse-U’ and Dawson closes things out.