31 Jan Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 01/30/2017 – Katie O’Brien and Katy Colloton
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Katie O’Brien and Katy Colloton
Recorded 01-29-2017 – Release Date 01-30-2017
Production Number #1997
Adam opens the show to a one week heads up to stock up on Mangria for the big game, Adam has a quick correction as they pre-recorded the intro and Dawson is not in.
Adam teases the guests and praises their show, Matt Fondiler is not in and they have a BaldyWood lined up too.
Adam jokes about taking his daughter to the ocean with Phil and how only two of them will come back, BB has some bubbles and Gina admonishes him for making a joke about Adam drowning his daughter.
Adam is now talking about the yardstick for measuring people he uses in life, he says if you mention the ocean to Sonny he doesn’t care for it, it’s cold, sand and effort for Natalia it’s a buoy party.
Adam jokes about his daughter being a marine hitting the beach and his son being a beach getting banged by a marine, hilarious one liner from BB.
Adam says these are yardsticks to measure someone’s personality, he wants to know why we don’t do that more often in society, BB asks “quietly judge?” and Adam points out the microphone.
Adam is talking about the “dude paper route” that has kept adding on houses in the “pink part of town” and his routine hasn’t changed, but extra jobs previously not on the man’s route are part of his duties.
Adam says we’ve been obsessed with the expansion of the man’s role, what about the ladies and he has a killer “punch list” one liner and wicked use of bitch, even Gina loses it.
Gina reveals she recently learned how to put air in her own car tires, BB tells them about Christie going through her recently deceased grandmother’s belongings as Adam asks about the bygone era of women cooking for their family and what the numbers were 100 years ago, vs. today and even Gina says it’s at best 50/50.
Adam has a killer “Filipino” joke after Gina tells them about a mouse that’s loose in her home, Adam says he likes having a building for hermaphrodites here at the shop to do the things he cannot do, Adam says Gary sometimes needs his help with roof trouble and things balance out.
Adam is talking about Sonny’s hair and his lack of concern for his appearance, Adam talks about kids need to get their haircut due to their levels of activity and limited bathing.
Adam got sick of asking Olga to take him and ended up walking over on Sonny, who has the weird getting a haircut puss on the whole time.
Adam and Phil walked up the promenade and got some coffee as Sonny was getting an old timey haircut, the guy parted it and everything, BB has an Andy Griffith Show style sound bed.
Adam is talking about how Phil like to lick strangers and how he approached a woman who Adam didn’t see that shot him the look of “what is going on here” meets displeasure.
Adam says “get over it” and saying things like someone might be sensitive to dogs as they had a bad run in with one as a child, Adam extrapolates that to people and how it would be not ok but we accept it with dogs.
Adam is praising his big fat lab that everyone likes, she was looking at Adam like “what is going on here” as his dog merely walked toward her, didn’t’ even lick nor touch her.
Gina says she knows of the woman of a certain age, mom’s friend types in constant search for a reason to be upset or show their displeasure.
BB says many people are quick to that reaction, Adam says everyone is guilty of this to some degree, he talks about the tally of life.
Adam says if your wife is out eating sushi and you were home cleaning you remind them you were home working while they were having fun, to build up points on the scorecard of the marriage, BB says that is all that marriage is.
Adam compares it to the trading stamps of a bygone era and Brady Bunch episode plots, Adam explains how the books of stamps could be traded in for durable goods.
Adam jokes about the kayak and other outdoor novelty prizes for Marlboro bucks and how it seems to be based around things smokers think they would love to do if they weren’t the people they are.
Adam asks who is in that mode 24/7, he has it within in him but he’s not in that mode during every moment of his life.
Adam talks about the bygone era of “FedCo” type stores and he explains how theses stamps were given out, Adam says it was always a stupid argument about the prizes in the catalog.
Adam says his sister would want the water wiggle and he wanted the pup tent, BB shares his take on indignation and being cutoff while driving, Gina says she cannot pull up and look at people who cut her off, she hates that angry move.
Adam says he’s ultimately selfish and he would never speed up to witness and shame the person as he risks only negative things happening to him, no possibility for gain.
Adam says he would go into a shame spiral when he would see the people in the trading stamp prize catalog.
Q and Ace
1st Caller Jake, he’s got a great celebrity to add to the list of women who wouldn’t want to sleep with him, he says Olivia Wilde and Adam brings up the time he did ‘Real Time’ and Bill Maher tried to cockblock him by calling him a gun guy on air, Adam recalls talking to her backstage and getting along great.
Adam says Anne Hathaway and Jake says Olivia is so anti Adam Carolla, well her name is Mary Elise Cockburn, her real name so…
Adam jokes about the bath they would need to take after the sexual encounter and BB plays some ‘Behind Close Doors’ by Charlie Rich, Adam jokes about bragging about his Olivia Wilde conquest as soon as he was done jizzing, despite his proclamation it would be behind closed doors.
Adam is singing along with the track and doing some live commentary, BB jokes about being glad to be a man being taboo in the modern era and how it would be a micro aggression if this was a new song.
The Bouqs – Save 20% when you order early and no “catalyst hardener” buy-ups Edition
Adam says he was watching something, he says we don’t live in now, now we live in the era of being able to rock any hairstyle you want, you can be The Weekend or BB and you’re cool.
Adam had a weird flashback as he was worried about his son getting mocked at school for his 1950’s haircut, Adam comments on the poor guys from the 1970’s who had to rock long hair, he brings up Walter Cronkite and the pork chops he had to have.
Adam says sideburns don’t work on 73yr old dudes, you look ridiculous.
“I raped my cousin” – Adam
2nd Caller Chris, she says Adam’s analogy about the green stamps is genius and BB rethinks it now that she agrees, Adam jokes about her van driving career and her search for a new job.
Adam jokes about her working in an abandoned building and she asks what they would answer on the job interview “what is your greatest weakness” question, BB says the employers are looking for your thinking not the answer itself, what are you doing to fix this.
Adam says they want to see if you do a shoulder roll or if you start tensing up, he is talking about his catholic big brother interview and how they asked him how often he thinks about sex, he answered 3.
Hooray for BaldyWood
BB saw ‘The Founder’ and he gives a background on the director and Adam shares his take on ‘The Blind Side’ which he seems to agree with BB on.
BB says both Gary and Gina saw the movie so “please don’t chime in” and then says he’s kidding, is he?
BB sets up a clip after explain the real-world story that inspired the plot as depicted in the film, BB says the movie is the antagonist and protagonist.
Gina praises Laura Dern and BB explains why this is getting no awards season love, he says this is a 4 or 5-star movie and cites a friend in the know who said the screener wasn’t well distributed and the role the Weinstein brothers may have played in the film being buried.
Adam asks about the plot and if that was perhaps the reason it wasn’t nominated, he contrasts it to ‘Moonlight’ and he talks about the theme being a hindrance, meat is murder and big McDonalds vs. a social justice warrior cause du jour.
Adam says McDonald’s is the Exxon of food and they are symbolic of ugly America, he cites how it’s portrayed in media, a place has been corrupted once a McDonalds opens there.
BB says Tom Hanks turned down the role of Ray Crock and they wrap up the BaldyWood segment, Natalia is looking through the glass and Adam talks about how they are about to reach 2000 shows, Mike August contacted celebrities to send some well wishes, first up they got Bryan Cranston who mentions ACS #1463 while making a joke about Adam hitting his stride. No mentions of who keeps the episodes count, for free…
They head to break.
They’re back from break with Katie O’Brien and Katy Colloton making their ACS debuts, they have a Nicaraguan Name That Movie and Adam talks about watching all of Sylvester Stallone’s ‘Cobra’ last night and to remind him to riff on it.
Adam is praising their show and they both talk about TV Land and their expanded programming, Adam jokes about ‘Melrose Place’ being his ‘Moonlight’ and he realizes he likes Darren Star’s work.
Natalia is joining them in studio, Adam says she loves women and jokes “we’ll see how that works out” and the guests confess to watching Phil eat the leashes in the green room area.
Adam quizzes his daughter on why his son doesn’t like the beach, she says he’s lazy and Adam jokes about him being solid material for a “great old Jew” and BB jokes about the 3rd Cate they work with.
Adam was talking to his employee Dylan and Adam said “oh like the Ramones” only to find out it’s their actual birth names.
Adam jokes with Natalia and he has Gina get the news ready.
True Car – Choose from 20,000 used cars edition
1st Story is on Donald Trump’s Executive Order and the resulting chaos regarding customs and immigration.
Gina comments on the filmmaker who was held upon returning to the states, Adam is jealous of the people who are free to go to LAX on a Saturday night and protest.
Adam has admiration for the people while also being jealous of their schedules, Adam asks the gang about Fox News and CNN being close on the channel list, Adam critiques BB and then commits nearly the same offense.
Adam shares the “fuck trump” sign that was clearly displayed and Gina has some of the clips of various people who attended the protest, she has Corey Booker who was at Dulles airport.
Gina says she hopes the immigrants and Green card holders now the people cared so much and she also feels badly for the cops having to keep the peace, Adam jokes about cops wanting to get back to shooting 17-year-old black kids.
Katie and Katy both make a point about the history of terrorists and their countries of origin, Adam doesn’t know if this is just what meets the eye.
Adam is now talking about the differences in how Trump works compared to past presidents, he is talking about him working on Sundays and his insane demands on his staff.
Adam says when you take baby back and merge it with the word rib, he’s in. Trump using executive orders is the same thing, it lures him in like a moth to the flame.
BB talks about the record setting number of executive orders signed by Obama, Gary has some competing facts.
Gina has some weird details about Theresa May holding Trump’s hands as he was afraid of stairs, Adam has a killer “he could go for the puss” and the “I don’t trust your hand” hand holding.
2nd Story is on the 1995 Donald Trump and Ivana ‘Pizza Hut’ commercial, Natalia reacts to 90’s Trump and they joke about her Tiger Beat poster.
Natalia shares how nothing has changed for her since the president took office, Adam jokes about that being white privilege and says his son has a funny Donald Trump impression.
Adam says we should make sure to elect people with defining characterizes so young boys can hang their hats on something with the impressions, while it is sad about the Syrian refugees think of Sonny and his quality of life.
3rd Story is on Saturday’s Australian Open title between the Williams’ sisters, Adam says Serena
Williams must be the most dominant athlete on earth of the last 20 years, not female nor male, most dominant period.
Adam is now talking about Tiger Woods time on the top of the world vs. his fall from grace and how long it’s been since he was winning and how much time he spent winning vs. being stuck in mediocrity.
They talk about Floyd Mayweather and move on.
4th Story is on the new Tostitos bag that can detect if someone has been drinking, Adam jokes about how many people are going die with the plastic bags on their head.
BB talks about the marketing of Uber coupons and how huge this could be.
5th Story is on the sentencing for the hacker who leaked the nude photos of Jennifer Lawrence, Adam is now sharing his ‘Imitation Game’ speech where you have to pretend not to know the enemies code, Adam talks about his dreams and how they work.
Adam would have got ahold of the hackers and how they could have laid low and built up an arsenal of pics, “you wanna see Sophia Vergara suck a dick” and he goes big picture with BB playing the hacker.
Adam is on fire and mentions his daughter is in the room, he now says “c sucking” and explains that Ingénues now have been alerted and are no longer taking the great nude pictures of the bygone era of 2015.
Adam is unaware of the sheer numbers of women who fell victim to “The Fappening” and Gian wraps the news, they have cobbled together a leash form the scraps of the ones Phil ate, Adam says you get really tired after destroying property as Phil is passed out.
SimpliSafe – Lose, lose with the safe, Natalia drags Phil out of the door edition
Adam plugs Carolla Drinks and the online interactive poll to bring the bar crawl to a city near you.
Adam jokes about bringing the mountain to Mohamed and BB says he can’t get in with the new executive order, Adam says exactly so we need to bring the mountain to him.
Adam plugs some live dates and wraps up the show giving out the plugs for the guests and their show ‘Teachers’ and he thanks them for coming in, BB has Adam’s “Woohoo we’re going to a buoy” clip from when he was talking about his daughter’s beach related enthusiasm.