08 May Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 05/06/2016 – Ali Wong and Vinnie Tortorich
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Ali Wong and Vinnie Tortorich
Recorded 05-05-2016 – Release Date 05-06-2016
Production Number #1816
Adam opens the show with an excited intro and a great new #TopDrop of Adam saying “Sweater Potatoes” and Adam welcomes Vinnie back to the show.
Adam is getting to the arguments and conversations around the house about Vinnie’s advice and BB asks if he worries that he will traumatize Adam’s kids via his input and Adam harping on it.
Adam is going over what his kids ordered in comparison to what he ordered, Adam jokes about not wanting to freak his kids out or give them negative energy or weirdness.
Adam says his daughter wanted a full glass of orange juice before bed, his daughter called him a “health nut” and Adam jokes about putting down his booze and putting out his cigarette to respond.
Vinnie is sharing how orange juice is almost identical to a glass of sugar, Vinnie explains why eating it before bed is the worst possible idea.
Vinnie tells people to look around and mentions how children now have fatty liver disease, a condition that used to only effect alcoholics.
Adam is sharing the argument about orange juice somehow being heathy, Adam is describing trying to convince his wife that this information is wrong, it’s like taking a religious person and trying to make them and atheist.
Vinnie has an example of doctors recommending smoking to pregnant women, Adam says his mental dashboard is filled with toggle switches waiting to be flipped, just give him better information and he’ll change his mind or how he does things.
Vinnie talks about the lack of double chins in the 1960’s, he was watching ‘The Sixties’ and Adam talks about getting to his lowest adult weight so far, he still drove like crap (4th place, really!?)
Adam says he didn’t up his exercise at all, he swapped his beer for vodka and dropped 15-20 pretty quickly.
Adam shares how he enjoyed a couple endless rants and is trying to now stick around 185lbs.
Adam says they did reach some common ground while on a walk to Starbucks, Natalia needed to go get some clay at the art supply store.
Adam has a complex cookie and tile manufacturing metaphor for life, he gets to the TSA and explosives and then takes it to kids and homework.
Adam is talking about Natalia’s hyper vigilance and eagerness to get clay to get started on the project right away and Sonny’s laid back lack of interest in any of it.
Adam now jokes about a 4-foot flute following you around for life, what!?
Adam jokes about himself as being ‘Lurch’ from ‘The Addams Family’ as Lynette was trying to get the kids project off the computer and onto a disc.
Adam is now reading the kids homework assignment and starts screaming about how they can build a quilt, he’s screaming about quilts!
Adam is now back to the conversation with Lynette about this being the last project before the summer break, Adam jokes about Sonny’s job being farmed out to Lynette who is now writing a report on Levi Strauss.
Adam is now further ranting and says he has a project, he’s building a goddam deck and a kitchen and mocks the concept of copying and pasting from Wikipedia being educational in any way.
Adam says that he was going to play ball with Sonny but Lynette forbid it as Sonny had to finish his Levi Strauss project.
Adam is now demanding the cast to weigh in, guess who did less homework and could buy and sell, then rape and sell all of them again.
Wow, Adam is on fire and full of rage, this is delightful.
Adam is back to Natalia’s tearful breakdown and their interaction outside the Starbucks, Adam says he can teach his Son everything he needs to learn and mocks the educational system, he’s making a great point about the time, cost and mess involved in all of these projects.
Adam has a great “none of their goddamn business” reply about the kid’s free time being their time, he jokes about telling Gary to be tucked in by 9pm on his day off, nope!
Adam doesn’t like taking assignments form retarded people that mean nothing and wouldn’t jog in place at his house if you told him to do that either.
Adam thinks Sonny could just memorize the Wikipedia page and shares how he told his wife to send a letter telling them they’re just not doing these big projects anymore.
Adam says the only lesson the kids learn is “boy mom and dad really hate each other” and jokes about what project the cast would pick, Vinnie has a killer quilt reply and Adam shoots him down.
Adam is now ranting about the asshole schoolboard telling 9yr olds to sew things as if they are master seamstresses, Adam jokes about Olga being forced to make this quilt with the sewing machine that Tom uses for Adam’s alterations.
Adam is now talking about repeat questions and conversations and wasting time, asking if someone has gum then asking again.
Adam is now talking about the alternative schools and jokes about the other downside of those, Sonny getting arrested for a peanut in his backpack, micro-aggressions and harmless childhood affection at those types of schools.
Vinnie is now describing a kid who was kicked out of an alternative school for bringing peanut butter to school, she was treated like an attempted murderer and still sports a scarlet letter among her former classmates and peers.
Adam is doing a Live Read for Stamps.com
Exact postage, 3 item weight challenge edition
Gary is now chiming in and trying to spice up the live read, Adam jokes about the Ralphs club membership card is as unappealing to women as bitching about postage rates going up.
They all make their guesses on the weight of the various merchandise items.
Adam talks about the staff mugs and how the system has completely fallen apart, Dawson defends his mug use and says he always cleans it.
Adam has a solid mug of orange juice callback and a funny “311, My Favorite Band!” comment.
Gary mentions some fans visited and brought some pies, Adam talks about being a boxing instructor and poor, he would capsize a pyramid of a Marie Calendar’s chicken pot pie on top of a heap of white rice, Vinnie is not somewhat open to it.
Adam is really giving this read some attention, like a 5min read!?
Adam teases the arrival of Ali Wong and moves on to the calls.
Q and Ace
1st Caller Bill, he lives in the town that Andrew of ‘Will Andrew Eat It’ fame and has a theory about his limited range of food choices.
Bill is now sharing his theory on the limited New England Irish palate, he says they grill everything and he can see how Andrew became Andrew.
Adam is now mocking him and his plain hotdog that he eats from the middle.
“What Do You Mean the Middle!?” – Vinnie Tortorich, hahahahaha! Comedy Gold!
Adam offers Vinnie the opportunity to go lay the smack down on Andrew for his bizarre taste buds.
2nd Caller Candace, she wants to know how Adam feels about women breast feeding in public.
Adam says he’s for it and explains he wants to live in a society where people planned for this to happen at home, doing it in public when needed, Vinnie has a theory on breast pumps and Adam clarifies he’s not down with anything done to make a statement.
Adam is talking about the various facets of life where people do in public or in private actives and BB talks about strong opinions and passion, what it speaks of.
Adam has a great point about breastfeeding, he compares it to taking a shit at the restaurant and then gets to him shitting in the dishes somehow, hilarious riff with BB.
Adam is moving onto the remaining callers and Gina says that she was talking about the subject on one of the lines and BB was talking about the other, Adam goes to caller Jason.
3rd Caller Jason, “You guys talking about titty fucking?” – Adam
Hilarious delivery and comment, wow!
Jason is an actor and is calling about being nervous and how it trips him up at auditions, Adam is telling him it’s all about reps and says he does think that other methods of classical music on long walks and deep thought but does reveal even he felt nerves for his recent 49th appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live.
BB interjects with a comment about life’s lessons that one can never learn in class or via homework and Adam of course agrees and uses his time at Comedy Traffic School to get in reps and they move on to another call.
4th Caller Nick, he’s a personal trainer and mentions Vinnie Tortorich and his ‘Fitness Confidential’, he wants to know what day to pick for his achievement day, he tells them about his new business.
Adam is now explaining the concept of an achievement day and Adam jokes about kids not being really alive until 3, saying he threw a ball at Sonny as a toddler, he had 0 game.
Adam says he’s celebrating the same day as several million Chinese and Indian people and Gary now reads the stats about odds of people in the same room have the same birthday.
Adam has a killer one liner in reply to Gary before getting back to the serous point.
Gina asks Adam if he’ll hang a heavy bag in the studio, he agrees to do it and he mentions the great Ringside.com a company he’s been promoting for over 2 decades on air.
Adam is explaining how he got them to put the water bag in leather, he jokes about their leather bag filled with spent uranium and explains why you hurt your wrists when doing body work on a heavy bag.
Adam is doing a Castrol Live Read
Adam loves when people tweet him their photos of them changing their oil, weird dude! Edition
Adam is back to the Ringside conversation that led to him creating his own leather water bag, Adam jokes about dumb people and how they always pull in the opposite direction, you have to combat that by telling them to send you everything.
Adam says Matt will have to remind him but they’ll put the bag up there, he plugs Vinnie’s podcast and Gina shares what she learned about the Dunning–Kruger effect from another podcast, she explains what it is.
She describes it and this is exactly what Adam is talking about, wow, thanks for bringing this up Gina!
Adam shares the story of the Best Buy Calendar singing and reveals the girl who asked if he was an asshole ran away crying and says he thinks Drew chased after her and tried to make it right.
Adam says everyone else placates and protects these Dunning-Kruger people while he abuses them and puts them in their place.
They head to break.
They’re back form break with a ‘Great Moment in Local News’ intro and Adam welcomes Ali Wong to the show for her ACS debut.
Adam plugs her special and says her intelligence shines through the material as it’s so “well crafted” and she says that she was pregnant while taping the special.
She filmed it in Seattle and tells Adam about her pregnancy complication, Adam is now responding to her HPV bit and is hinting about his HPV penis examination from Classic Loveline WEDNESDAY, JULY 19, 2000 – GUEST: MOLLY SIMS • HOST: ADAM, DR. MARCEL, DR. DREW
She moves past his comments and says he probably has tons of HPV and then gives her take on women owning up to their HPV in their 30’s.
Adam says he feels that way about the TV show ‘ALF’ and says he’s had that conversation with every comedian he knows.
They play a clip of her special, Adam tells her about the HPV test for men and he brags about his “Pristine Penis” and Ali shares her theory on STD’s as fidelity tool, re-infect each other and die together with sores.
They play another clip from Ali’s special where she comments on racism, Ali is sharing her own breast feeding dilemma and says she had to pump her breasts midflight and Adam jokes about her playing basketball.
Adam asks her about the situation and she says her boobs are now a food source and Adam is asking about her husband.
Adam is asking how her husband responds to her act and material, Adam jokes about him typing up “All Work and No Play Makes Jack a Dull Boy” in response to the jokes about her sleeping around.
Ali talks about dating comedians and Adam says that comedians shouldn’t be dating comedians, that’s crazy on crazy crime and you need to add some flour to that crazy stew.
Adam is saying that comedians are for the most part very needy, male comedians and female comedians need someone equally funny or funnier in their relationships.
Adam teases a question about comedians, he says there are the 3 types of comedians, naturally gifted types, those who can work hard at it and possibly smart people who would excel in any field, they’d make a great comedian the way they’d make a great doctor or lawyer.
Adam is doing a Life Lock Live Read
Adam is asking Ali which category is more her, was she always funny?
Ali tells them about having siblings that were over 10 years older than her, she shares how that made her very quiet at home and Gina gets her question in.
Gina asks about her bringing her family and friends into the act, Ali tells them about a “lie that speaks a greater truth” and it’s just jokes, her husband isn’t a victim.
Gina tweeted about the time that Fletcher from Pennywise took them hostage at Loveline, Adam is now sharing the story.
Gina must have watched this Loveline – 1999-06-07 (Pennywise) Security Videotape
Adam explains how he never got upset or threatened anyone after being heled hostage, he just took it in stride and didn’t feel threatened or violated, he chose not to.
There is a whole different story about how that tape came to be discovered and ended up digitized let alone shared online, I was the one to get it from Engineer Mike through a decade of correspondence and after years of digging, turns out Mike had it all along.
Ali has a colored woman in comedy comment that Adam has a funny reply to and Ali gets into the show ‘Chopped’ to make a point about talent, the fight, the set, the food whatever it is that’s where the proof is in the pudding.
Ali is responding to the questions about her ethnicity and her art that she gets while doing press or Q&A’s, Adam is responding to her “go do it” message and Adam mocks politicians who preach the message of “you’re being held down” and Adam asks if they should do some news but interrupts them all with a live read.
Adam is doing a True Car Live Read
1st Story is on the end of John Kasich’s presidential bid, they listen to a clip of him talking about waiting for god to tell him to what to do next in life and Adam responds to it with a puzzled and thoughtful reaction.
2nd Story is Johnny Manziel’s domestic violence hearing, Gina is now having them listen to a clip and then Gina fills them in on the details of the alleged assault.
Adam is talking about boxing eardrums and they discuss the John Stossel and Richard Belzer incidents involving wrestlers and the topic of wrestling being fake.
Adam jokes about respecting the art of wrestling and how he’ll only be complimentary and tell them about his years of gambling losses on matches as he’s so convinced it’s not fake.
Adam says he’s seen The Undertaker actually working a funeral, it’s that legit.
BB loves this riff and is chiming in and they joke about The Iron Sheik’s rug store.
Adam is setting up the clip of John Stossel and Gary reveals what happened afterwards.
Adam is doing a SimpliSafe Live Read
3rd Story is on a lost episode of ‘Huell’s Jewells’ and Gina shares the details of the episode, she mentions Fletcher and Adam jokes about “Poo Poo City” and Adam is now ranting about Huell boring everyone from the grave.
Adam mentions having to hear Prince songs and then gets onto a bizarre and hilarious tangent about Ann Frank and Hitler, whoa!
Gary has a better TV suggestion and Adam they move on.
4th Story is on Eli Apple’s mom’s comment about her son on draft day.
Adam is doing a MVMT Movement Watches
Adam is now responding to Eli’s mom and contrasts him against Johnny Manziel and his money hand moves that have now led to him in court and out of the league.
BB has a great point about how you could fill an entire team with the greatest talent to every play the game who are no longer in the league due to problems off the field.
BB cites Lawrence Phillips and Adam jokes about him sounding more and more like Lynette with these obscure football reference.
Adam shares his pastime of marveling at people who can’t just not ruin things for themselves, BB brings up Aaron Rogers and they wrap the news to Adam shouting about the dumb people among us, a clip from earlier in the show before the break.
Adam is now plugging the new Endless Rant IPA and he brings up how they ordered a case, BB jokes about them all being drunk.
Adam is now setting up how Babydoll Dixon surprised him but he first brings up the story of the time he pitched him the ‘Laughs for Bald Bryan’ event and his initial reaction to contrast even him enjoying the IPA.
They wrap the show to a drop of Ali saying “It’s ok girl, I got HPV too” and they wrap the show.