02 Jul Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 07/02/2014 – Rich DeMuro
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Rich DeMuro
Recorded 07-01-2014 – Release Date 07-02-2014
Production Number #1358
Dawson has a great intro claiming that Lynch is too preoccupied with a Phish concert to write a joke.
Adam is opening the show lamenting what a fucking mess he would be if he has menstrual cramps and PMS, Adam says he would be the cuntiest of all cunts, Alison inspires this with the news of her cramps.
Adam has a reference to the Hulk and I think it must be the 2003 version of the film, did he just watch it? Adam has another great “Cool Hand Luke” reference and Alison explains the bleeding is just annoying, it’s the cramps that suck.
Adam is telling them about watching 4 episodes of “The Brady Bunch” last night, he is telling them about the lack of A and B plotlines, let alone a C story.
Adam says the plots are almost nothing and every cliché sitcom gag is present, Adam is now telling them about the scene where a character longingly stares at their food while playing with it and not eating.
Adam is sharing why this troubled him as a kid, he wanted Bobby’s plate and he’s mocking the notion of this scene.
Adam and Alison are both in agreement about burying their feelings in Mojo potatoes, who can’t eat when upset? Adam jokes about dying before Karen Carpenter if he had that problem, not being able to eat while upset.
Alison reveals her dad is actually that way, Adam is now joking about sending messages via mash potatoes.
Adam is saying that never started in real life, it was the language of sitcoms and playing in your food and staring off into the distance is a sitcom invention.
Alison is adding storming out to the list and Adam is adding under the table kicking to get people to not misspeak.
Adam is comparing and contrasting his own childhood to the Brady Bunch and now Alison is offering up a very sound point about people comparing their life to fiction and how much depression that causes.
Adam is telling them about the Adam and Drew taping from earlier in the day, Adam is waxing poetic about the journey and how you don’t want to skip the journey despite you thinking you do.
Adam is using homebuilding and car work to make a point about creating something out of nothing, Adam is now using his mom and her reaction to “the journey” it was too overwhelming she couldn’t embark.
Adam is on an epic riff about Journey and now joking about how he’s talking about the band and their sexy video for “Separate Ways” and he’s giving the example of people overwhelmed by work ahead of them.
Adam is now taking this to getting an advanced degree, writing a movie and Alison is telling Adam this is very Zen of him and summing things up, BB once again comments on how deep Alison Rosen is taking it today.
Adam is now using an old car again to refine the metaphor, He jokes about a methadone loser drip you’re unknowingly signing up for each year that goes by where you don’t work on that car.
Adam says the biggest joke you can play on someone is to give them a magic wand, Alison has a funny joke and Adam says you would be the only guy getting blown on a 200ft yacht with no self-esteem and predicts you would kill yourself.
Alison adds trust fund kids and BB plays a Sonny drop.
Alison wants to know how someone can get prioritized with this type of thinking.
Adam is describing the stray flip flop of life strewn in the hallway, he says you need to take care of stuff when you see it, don’t argue with yourself and get into that internal battle of coming up with excuses, just pick it up and throw it away.
Adam says then work that into a more global theme, he’s telling them about the bathroom vanity in the house he moved into, Adam is describing the stupid ornate piece of furniture he had to remove, and he says the bathroom is business.
Adam is explaining how he had to remove the vanity, before they lived with it and got used to it and let it settle in, Adam is explaining how your mental blade edge gets dulled by time.
That means you’re stupid if you wait two years, the only reason he was putting it off was because of the pain, the time, money and everything else will be the same two years from now.
Adam says he bought a bathroom vanity instead of building it outright like usual, Adam is explaining how he usually builds and why he chose to buy this time instead of building.
Adam says it took 4 hours to install, Adam says Lynette walks in and says Oh My God I love it but she would never change it, not in a million years and jokes about her now being able to pee in the sink too.
Adam wants to know why we as humans are wired this way that prevents us from doing this stuff.
Adam is now lamenting the patent trolls, saying they’ve passed the 450k mark with the attorneys, but they’re far enough into discovery to discover the other side has no case, it’s awesome but it all shall continue.
Adam says he got a call out of the blue from Jay Leno asking about the Patent Troll stuff, he asked if there was anything he could do to help, Adam jokes about him selling of one of his cars.
Adam says he told him shit year he could help, Hanson have also offered to help out and Adam is now planning a big benefit party to raise the remaining amount of cash.
Adam says we’re not going to settle, not it’s tough and we now know they don’t have a lot in terms of a case, Adam says bring it bitch, we’re fucking coming for you, you fucked with the wrong people!
Adam says you fucked with “The Natural” in response to BB’s music bed, Adam says he wouldn’t settle even if they had that option.
Adam is now mocking the company “Person Audio” and saying he’s not pissed at them, they just want to make money, Adam wants to know who amongst us wouldn’t try this if it was legal.
“There’s nothing in the rule book” – Adam talking about Personal Audio, he says they should change their name to “Nothing Personal” and says he knows he’s arrived and using a nice metaphor, BB even clarifies it’s a metaphor not a threat, nice!
Adam is now doing a draftkings.com live read
Hooray for Baldywood
Transformers 4: Age Of Extinction, BB says it’s tough to talk about it and was a little bored during the film and he’s complimenting Stanley Tucci’s amazing work in a supporting role and how the focus was seemingly on the wrong characters.
BB has not yet mentioned that Mark Wahlberg is essentially acting like his character in BB’s much maligned “The Happening.”
BB brings up Titus Welliver and has seemingly forgotten he was just on the show back in February, less than 5 months ago for ACS #1264 and now Alison and Adam re confirming for BB that he was on the show.
BB says it’s nowhere as bad as the 16% range, BB’s wrong it is that bad.
Adam is now commenting on how strange it must be for M. Night Shyamalan to rise and fall so hard, BB says it feels the opposite of cathartic.
Adam says its feels like we’re all on a giant playground and everyone has the emotional maturity of a 9 year old.
Adam is bringing up the Hammer not getting into Sundance because a guy said “I don’t like you” and he wants to know what that has to do with anything.
Adam is joking about grocers and producer suppliers not having this kind of bullshit in their industry, Adam is asking why are you letting other people factor into your life into that extent.
BB is telling them about the product placement in the movie, specifically the Budweiser scene.
Adam is telling them about getting cash from beer companies for featuring them in your movie, Adam is telling them about taking a hit of the beer gets you extra cash, a bump for taking a swig of beer.
Alison is now asking about cigarettes and if the same is true for taking a drag/inhaling and now Adam is telling them about the sands through the hourglass of his life talking to attorneys and dumb people.
Adam is telling them about the “Prank Puppets” scream fest over a conference call in NYC with Jimmy Kimmel and now Adam is telling them about the scene from Ace in the Hole, his CBS pilot where the “Ray” character was caught smoking.
Adam is sharing the “cigarette can’t be lit” rule from the network, Adam says “We can’t or you have arbitrary retarded rules…”
Adam is now addressing the reality of human beings who exist and smoke on job sites.
BB is now talking it back to the movie to explain the Dinobots, how he excited he was for it and laments they didn’t get more screen time.
Adam wants to know if this marks the end of the Transformers, BB does a slight impression of Peter Cullen and wraps up the segment without going in depth on the Tea party politics and overbearing attempts at a Chinese cash grab.
Adam is now telling them about a “Road Hard” donor who showed up but wasn’t right for the speaking role he bid on for the movie.
Adam says his name is Aaron Foster, BB jokes that it was for Alison’s part and Adam is now telling them about Mike Altier working out a deal with him.
Adam is telling the gang about his art involving License Plates and how he used the map of the states outside that was left by Aaron to check if his guy was right telling him about flying to Montana.
Q and Ace
1st Caller Javi, he has a Facebook friend he’s never met and wants to meet in person and Adam I trying to figure out what an fb friend request approval means, what are the stakes.
Adam says it’s like a video game, it’s simulated risk to ask her out and BB now references Adam’s time playing “Medal of Honor: Rising Sun” and finishes his elegant explanation of why Javi should just go for it.
2nd Caller Jake wants to know if Adam has a go to meal to cook for his kids, Adam jokes about dad’s night at his house and how Olga makes the Chili.
Adam says when he was a bachelor he used to find himself making big pots of stew or food, Alison jokes about her food never lasting for days and days.
Adam says his go to meal is no good now because of the carbs, he says frozen chicken pot pie, he says capsize it on a mound of rice.
Adam says he liked pasta and olive oil with vegetable, Adam says that pasta, potatoes and rice all became taboo since.
Adam jokes about chicken pot pie being the most deceptive bad food, Adam wants to know if you were told you would never gain an ounce.
Adam is now laying out his week of eating, a Chicken Pot Pie day, Fish and Chips day, Lasagna Day, Corn beef or Rueben day, Adam is now adding shepherd’s pie and BB is trying to add a loaded cheeseburger to the list.
Adam says he would have a side of potato salad and coleslaw with every meal, Alison says she would fill a bathtub with cereal and she’s now adding Fettuccini Alfredo to the list.
Adam is now listing off all of the days of the week.
Sunday – Fettuccini Alfredo
Monday – Chicken Pot Pie
Tuesday – Fish and Chips
Wednesday – Deli Sandwich of choice
Thursday – Lasagna
Friday – Chili Dog night
Saturday Night – Brisket or Fried Chicken
Adam is now doing a live read for The Bouqes.
Adam is now going to break.
Adam is back from break with Rich DeMuro making his ACS debut, longtime fans might remember him from the KLSX days, he’s also BB’s former roommate, wonder how he got booked…
Adam is asking Rich about the year of tech ahead of us, he’s mentioning the IPhone 6, the new android L operating system and the new IOS iteration.
Adam is telling tech people to be less snobby and not judge his 4 year old equipment, it makes him feel bad apparently.
Adam is telling people to drop the attitude and explains his limited capabilities in caparison to his obsolete phone.
Rich is sharing an anecdote about a woman who was clueless about tech, he says he doesn’t judge while judging but being polite.
Rich references Adam’s “big problem” with dropping his phone, Adam explains he doesn’t, he’s never dropped one, He’s sharing the story of Mike August’s recent broken phone and ill-timed replacement.
Rich is sharing an anecdote of a woman who dropped her phone, Adam is interrupting to mock BB and his time spent working at Apple in their R&D department.
BB brags about this question being asked in his booked, only BB would put a one sided argument from his former college roommate against his boss who is not only accurate but threw him a fundraiser in effort to save his life.
Rich is now fully engaged in this argument despite “someone” telling him not to tread near it, Adam is asking him if the company wanted to do something, like Apple could they.
Rich is now saying get a case and these companies make good money off the cases, who are these companies, I don’t know of a single apple or google made phone case, they are all 3rd parties and not all of them have deals with the companies.
So that argument is null, Adam is not being fed accurate information to defend his point of view.
Now Rich is making Adam’s point saying that Apple could do something about this and doesn’t want to make money of repairing phones.
Adam is citing his hyper vigilance as why he doesn’t have a cracked screen, Rich tries to segue in an almost adorable as it is futile attempt by talking about how he doesn’t like cracked screens.
Adam is now taking it back to the fucking question, because he’s right, Apple has whole departments devoted to this, they have a “closed” system and platform, meaning they employee thousands of people to work on their phones and computers when they knowingly breakdown due to design mostly.
Even their MacBook’s have a design flaw I personally discovered due to the form factor of their SATA cable leading to the HDD.
Adam’s argument is based in what a company can or cannot do, Alison wants to know who told him not to talk about it and he says his own better judgment.
Rich is lamenting the grippy cases and is asking him straight forward questions and addressing each one of his replies that has a “double speak” element.
Rich is saying it’s beauty or a tank, Adam has an excellent firearm=art analogy and BB is now using the comedy factory/warehouse analogy against Adam for talking about this, but he just put it into a book, what?
Rich is telling them about the cases sold on the market today, he’s sharing how fragile glass is and how the lip of the case needs to protrude past his screen.
He’s saying he threw an IPhone against the ground 6 times, now he’s saying “like 6 times” when Adam is asking follow up questions.
Now it’s dropped and not threw, Adam is saying he now need to scream at his wife for dropping her shit so often.
Alison says she’s dropped her phone and never cracked the screen, BB is now setting up Rich for a pitch about Gorilla Glass, it’s not all that he’s saying it is, it’s better but not indestructible.
Adam is now riffing about Gorillas used in most positive scenarios, they are the symbol for everything that is sturdy and they will have to battle the Rhino for the sturdiest title.
Adam is asking Rich about 3D TV and he’s now telling them about 4k TV and how superior it is to HD, Adam is joking about the reality of how people look on HD, using Julie Chen.
Adam ha a great maybe Laruen Bacall was a pig theory he’s floating and Rich is complaining about 120hz motion, BB is agreeing with him and Adam is citing how it looks like the technology used in “The Kid Stays In the Picture” and he’s making an analogy to video tapes sitcoms vs. filmed ones.
Adam is asking Rich about his take on the Patent Trolls, he’s giving a vague explanation and now hammering home the point of the company suing Adam existing only to sue other entities.
Adam is citing a local case from Los Angeles about a nanny who refuses to leave someone else’s home, Adam is saying it’s insane we live in a world where we’ve “evolved” to the point of strangers having more rights than the homeowners.
Adam was happy to hear that the crazy nanny was on a nuisance list for filing too many lawsuits within a short time period, BB didn’t even know this existed.
Adam is having Gary look it up, Adam is now once again stating the obvious, nobody wants to screw anyone out of their idea or invention, use the patents, and Adam is drawing a difference between them and those like Personal Audio who use their patent as a weapon.
Adam is now reading the Vexatious Litigant list with an assist from A-Rose, Adam is asking all of the people on that list to please kill themselves.
Adam says he would just toss her and her shit out on the lawn and threaten to go Ruby Ridge or Waco on them, Rich says that’s what happening to Adam now and BB jokes about them letting him know when the siege starts, because he’s not fully on the team, not that funny.
Adam is explaining the process of “Discovery” and what it’s used for in a legal process, Adam is telling the about his 40k bill for an expert witness.
Adam is now offering up his expertise as someone’s who’s been screwed, Adam is now wondering how good is the witness that you’ve hired if both sides hire witnesses.
Rich is explaining the history of this company and its legal past and what’s strange about them coming after podcasters, Rich says that Ford was sued by a patent attorney in 1903.
Rich leaves out that Ford also played a role in crippling Tucker and his cars, so much for good company.
Adam is telling them that the lion’s share of the money spent so far has been from the kind fans who donated, but the 40k he paid today came out of his pocket.
Adam says court is coming in September and it’s time to mount up and that we’re going to kick some ass and now Rich is reading the list of things that Apple was banned from using against Personal Audio.
Adam jokes about pirates being on the list and Alison asks about the term “Lawsuit Lottery” and now they’re heading to the news.
Alison’s News
Adam is now doing a live read for BarkBox.com and says that Molly is back on the chicken now that Lynette is back in town, she refuses to listen to women.
1st Story Is on the Obama administration’s aim to elect a lobbyist aligned against patent reform, she’s got all of the details.
Adam is now explaining that on an emotional level he expects as much from the government as he did from his family, he’s saying he expects less than zero, it will only hurt.
Adam says you could hold your breath and turn 5 shades of purple and die before anything will budge.
BB is now arguing that he’s just a lobbyist and Obama wants to hire him to now do battle against his own kind, even BB’s guy Rich disagrees with that bullshit.
Rich is explaining the google influence already in the patent office and he’s saying you have to watch out for the names of coalitions in politics, the nicer it sounds the worse and more evil it is.
Adam is explaining how people are wired and comments on how much the prices would drop without this patent litigation.
Adam is making a point about the cost of lawsuits, Rich agrees and has a great R&D point.
2nd Story Is on team USA getting knocked out of the World Cup, Adam is happy and Alison wants to know how Rich and BB were roommates and yet he looks 10-15yrs younger.
BB and Adam are joking about BB being ravaged by his cancer and Rich wearing makeup.
Adam is joking about his policy for showing up to his radio show on KLSX less than 5 minutes prior to broadcast.
Rich is telling them about going on air at 4am, Adam says he loves that they have robotic cameras for morning shows, Rich says they don’t and Alison jokes about their anchors on KTLA.
Rich is telling them about his daily schedule, BB makes sure to point out that Alison never worked on the KLSX morning show version of the ACS.
3rd Story Is on the dental therapy dog in Seattle, patients can hold his paw for comfort.
Adam is explaining that his blood pressure also drops when he’s getting his “cock sucked” and yes people like to pet dogs, they don’t need to be everywhere much like pajamas.
Alison is asking Adam if he really has a problem with this and he doesn’t. He just doesn’t like that dogs have permeated every aspect of life.
Adam is now explaining that people are allergic to dogs, citing Jimmy Kimmel having a rough time due to his allergies, which one could then use peanuts to argue against Adam.
4th Story Is on a dentist office in Manhattan that serves wine to patients, Adam is for that and BB asks about cleaning the teeth and stains.
Adam is saying that he thinks women flock towards the white wine due to the lack of teeth staining, BB says because it’s sweeter and weaker.
Alison is now asking Adam about being drunk at the dentist and he’s sharing how it could quickly go downhill.
“Laurie’s Always Late” – Adam to his dentist.
Adam is having this now head towards and extra-marital affair and has hilarious quips.
Adam is telling them about being stoned and hanging dry wall all day, Alison is telling them about a friend who dropped acid and went to court.
Adam says if you smoke pot when doing something you don’t want to do it lasts twice as long and makes you twice as miserable.
Gary is now telling Adam about a friend who met with his dean of the college to contest his expulsion while high on LSD and swinging punches.
Adam says that’s on him and Gary agrees, Adam has a killer tea and pinky etiquette joke and Alison wraps up the news.
Adam is now doing a live read for Loot Crate and he’s telling Rich to hang tight.
Adam is giving out the plugs for their upcoming live dates and the plugs for the signed hard copies of his second book “Not Taco Bell Material” and now Adam is once again complimenting Rich and his good looks and trying to shame BB.
Alison is joining in and they’re further mocking him and his perceived hubris, Adam is now asking Rich about where he’s from and has a groaner time difference joke, Alison’s “you’re a little cunty” drop is played to wrap up the show.