31 Dec Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 12/23/2014 – Jo Koy and Bret Ernst, Live from The San Jose Improv
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Jo Koy and Bret Ernst, Live from The San Jose Improv
Recorded 12-20-2014 – Release Date 12-23-2014
Production Number #1481
Adam welcomes an off mic Bret and Jo to the show, Alison says she almost ate shit due to the grease on the stage floor, BB mocks Gary and his airplane revelation.
Adam jokes about drinking and travelling harming his recollection abilities, he brings up seeing Kevin Hench for the first time in a while, they had a breakfast at ‘Good Neighbors’ scheduled.
Adam jokes about his mom loving him and cooking him breakfast, it’s the food of parental love.
Jo talks about his mom and starts quoting her, Adam brings up Bung Lu Su and Jo gets fake offended, Jo mocks Bret’s Italian guy response about his mother cooking him breakfast and loving him.
Adam brings up the time he was misquoted about his favorite pizza in an L.A. Times article, he references how pissed Jimmy was because he was quoted as liking an inferior pizza place.
Adam is now riffing about street sweepers while sharing an anecdote from the parking lot while trying to get breakfast with Hench, hilarious jokes about his native American ’esque tracking abilities.
Adam wants a light up sign displaying where street sweepers have already cleaned, Bret admits to wiping his ass with tickets before paying them.
Adam references the movie ‘Casino’ and now Alison explains she overheard someone arguing that the street cleaner had already passed his area.
Adam is now riffing about bicycles.
Adam is bringing up the sign in the San Jose airport bathroom about the recycled water used in their toilets and urinals, he jokes about what that information is supposed to do, hilarious comments about sipping from a urinal instead of buying an Evian.
Adam is now calling for actually helpful information, Bret asks for trolley warning and now Adam and Jo are riffing about him and gay code.
Hilarious impression from Jo, Adam is now once again the mix and they have yet another meaning for the term trolley.
Jo tells them about seeing a restaurant employee not wash his hands in the bathroom, BB brings up ice in urinals and Adam shares his love for it.
Adam says he wants to see ice square off against asparagus.
Adam is joking about asparagus showing up at the vegetables that alter the human body convention and walking around like top dog.
Adam is sharing his 1 in 37 shits that smells like cat shit.
Q and Ace
1st Question from Dylan, Adam asks about douchebags in Santa Cruz and speculates that you must be cool to be from there.
He wants to know what’s worse, the wreath on the front of the car or the Rudolph nose and antlers, Adam is now sharing his theory on either item tipping your odds of dying in a horrific rode accident.
Alison has a killer observation about Adam being intolerant of any sign of a group or community and it leads to a killer variant of the rolling memorial for Chuy, he really hits some strong one liners in this one, Jo busts out a Hispanic accent that’s pretty solid.
Jo catches someone recording the show, Adam is mocking the low view count this will get and Jo’s A material about Mexicans in a van memorial.
2nd Question Brad Carnegy, Adam asks how disappointed everyone who meets him is when they find out he’s not related to the Carnegies.
Adam is now riffing about vaginas drying up before his eyes, hilarious poof sound.
Brad asks him what the strangest thing a fan has ever done or given to him, Jo almost has a real spit take after BB says herpes.
Jo is doing a solid Jon Lovitz impression, Adam is saying it’s the complicated drawings given to him, he says they end up unappreciated and left out of sight.
Adam says the challenge coins is what he’s really into now, Jo is now doing a stereotypical accent while describing some custom art for Adam.
Adam is asking an honest Asian question, he brings up the way that black guys have to pretend like they’re in the same club, the famous Jim Brown meets Tommy Davidson in 1st class hug it out story.
3rd Question from Melissa, she’s in the bathroom.
She wants to know who paid for Adam’s pop warner football, he’s not listing his 7 years spent playing.
Adam jokes about not talking about his playing days enough.
Adam says one of the most humiliating things for him was asking for a scholarship before the start of his 3rd season, he felt like a loser.
Adam is explaining how the 12 dollars would be the best money his parents could’ve spent, no money goes further, Shasta cans, orange slices, McDonalds trips and large hunks of chocolate they sold for fundraising.
Adam is now riffing about the miniature envelope given to the kid for fundraising when selling the off brand chocolate bars, Adam jokes about the envelopes being intended for cocaine.
Adam is mocking the guys selling girl scouts cookies for their daughters in the JKL writer’s room, Adam asks what message they’re sending the kids by selling their goods for them.
Jo has a killer joke about fundraising and now Adam is describing what he would do to the brick of chocolate he was supposed to be selling.
Adam is mocking his health food household and how he would only earn 1 dollar and end up with an 11 bar discrepancy.
4th Question from Sandy, Adam apologizes for what Jo said about her people and says to not ever announce your people or group is proud, whitey will do the loser math.
She wants to know Adam’s least favorite holiday, he says it’s his anniversary.
Jo is now playing Adam’s wife and he’s riffing about his anniversary expectations.
Adam has a killer riff about kids walking in on different types of oral sex, Alison has a great reaction.
Adam is trying to get Jo to do some Bung Lu Su, he laments this always being sprung on him and doesn’t think he knows what he’s doing.
It’s refreshing to hear him admit his frustrations with this expectation.
Bung is now singing some ‘Santa Clause is coming to town’ and Adam is playing his producer character, solid riff.
“He’s got a magic bicycle that’s pulled by homeless people” – Adam asking about Chinese Santa.
They close it out nicely.
Bung is now doing his rendition of ‘White Christmas’ and doing another solid job riffing on the spot, Adam is now doing some chop stick humor and mocking America for inventing the spork, we even invent utensils that sound fat.
Bung says he has a gift, they’re doing another lap and Adam jokes about Jo getting some “Road Kill’ with his son in tow, Adam says that “Road Kill” should be the new euphemism for sex with a stranger while travelling.
Bung is now launching into some ‘Jingle Bells’ A Capella, he now gets some music to back him up.
Jo is audibly mocking Adam for making him do this, Adam says it’s funny and gives him a break.
Adam is plugging Jo and Bret’s dates, hilarious “Treasure Island” riffing with Adam and Jo. Jo is mocking Bret and his Italian heritage.
1st Story is some Christmas trivia, she asks them who brought Frosty back to life in ‘Frosty The Snowman’ and they all give serious answers, Jo excluded for his Michael Keaton line.
Alison asks what made the Grinch so mean, Adam has a killer enlarged heart valve joke.
Adam tries to get Bung to do the song from ‘The Grinch Who Stole Christmas’ and Adam has a funny broomstick broke off in your ass joke.
Alison asks about the most popular Christmas song, Jo does some Bung Lu Su doing the black Christmas song ‘Mistletoe’ and Adam mocks the John Lennon Christmas tune.
Adam says that he wants to enjoy the 4 days around the holidays where he tries to pretend and be happy, but music programmers still have to play a shitty song about starving kids.
Adam says he doesn’t need to be coached up about the misery across the globe 24/7 and 365 days a year, he wants to enjoy one moment of his life.
Bret is now asking about Figgy pudding and Adam is trying to get Jo to do some Bung on the ‘Fig Newton’ theme song.
Adam has a killer peyote one liner and mocks everyone for their lack of “yes and” training.
They now have the Fig Newton song, Adam tells table 5 to go ahead and call him a fucking liar, and they play the commercial.
Adam once again recites the Fig Newton jingle, Jo Koy jokes about Kevin Hench and Adam references Eddie Gorodetsky.
Jo is now riffing as a Fig, he’s lashing out at Adam for his insensitivity.
Alison has a killer Fig Sharpton one liner.
Adam says he’s playing for laughs and he’s winning.
Adam is now riffing about Ebenezer scrooge and sleep costumes, Adam says that gym shorts are the best sleeping attire for men.
Adam is now riffing about trying to square off against a home invader while you have a sleep boner, Adam says that gym shorts provide enough weight to hold his boner down, Jo is mocking him.
“You want enough wait to send your cock a message” – Adam
Adam is joking about the false alarm of moving a dog leash and that being akin to the penis touching fabric, Jo is now playing Adam’s cock, hilarious voice!
Adam is now planning some one on one internet time with his cock, this is great!
Jo is talking Adam into jacking off, trying to convince him to sleep with his wife, Jo comments on how creepy he is as Adam’s dick.
Adam and his dick are now discussing Adam’s wife’s friends and his need for diversity, this is a solid riff, and Jo has a killer Carnegie callback.
Alsion has a funny line about tuning Bryan out when he speaks.
Adam is now having Bung play the waiter of his favorite local Chinese (P.F. Chang’s?) place that recently closed, Adam is doing a P.F. Chang’s waiter bit now.
Adam wants to know what is wrong with a city that they could let a P.F. Chang’s close down, Jo has a killer series of digs at Adam about his career and Jimmy Kimmel’s diverging.
2nd Story is on Muhammad Ali being admitted to the hospital, Adam has a funny and controversial “about time” reply and then says he’s such a badass even his daughter is a skilled fighter.
Adam is joking about his son trying to choke him out with a Slinky if he was to try to pawn that off as an actual Christmas gift.
Adam jokes about Slinkys not working and probably being some kind of leftover material from a factory of some kind, Adam argues the Slinky has never actually worked and does a rendition of their theme song.
Adam jokes about the theme now being controversial due to the use of “boy and girl” and the gender lines it divides.
Adam is doing the YMCA swimming class theme song.
Alison is now wrapping the news.
Adam is doing a smart mouth live read – Bung refuses to sing edition
Adam is closing out the last recording of 2014 with some plugs for Jo and Bret, he mixes up Bret’s name and then mixes up Jo’s to make it even.