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Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 12/15/2014 – Jay Mohr and Howie Mandel, Live from The Canyon Club

Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 12/15/2014 – Jay Mohr and Howie Mandel, Live from The Canyon Club

A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS

Guest Jay Mohr and Howie Mandel, Live from The Canyon Club

Recorded 12-12-2014 – Release Date 12-15-2014

Production Number #1474

Show Page

Adam opens the show live from the Canyon Club with Howie Mandel joining them last minute, he’s enjoying some of his beloved Mangria.

Adam asks him why he likes the beverage so much, Adam has never seen him drunk in life besides while on drinking his Mangria.

Adam has some gay bar jokes up top, Jay Mohr gets a mic and Adam explains how it was the first time Jay ever met Howie, he explains the fist bump prank idea he had.

 

Adam is commenting on Howie offering to share popcorn with Adam with his same fist bump “non-germ” hand and Adam is now riffing about Howie’s medicine, Howie has a killer “therapist” line aimed at Jay, Jay then uses it against Adam after he has a killer riff about Howie’s pajama based wardrobe.

Adam is asking Jay to bust out the “Big Momma Got It All” and Jay is going right into it and they are explaining the premise.

 

What Can’t Adam Complain About

1st Topic Parking in a spot with a metered paid in full but at the maximum amount of time, Adam brings up the new technology that will allow the city to know when cars arrive and leave spaces, to generate more revenue.

Adam asks if Christopher Walken could come join him and now Jay busts that out and Howie gets him to do another lap.

Adam asks about Walken playing Captain Hook in the live ‘Peter Pan’ special on NBC, Adam jokes about Howie beating off to the wrong actor/role.

 

Adam offers Howie some more Mangria, mocking his lack of a response from the crowd with his baby in a car seat, absent from a car.

Howie is now advertising how good Mangria feels on ones nuts, Adam is giving him a taste of the white and then cutting him off.

Jay mocks BB for asking something from earlier in the show.

Howie is now mocking BB’s delivery and Thomas, the poor guy asking the question.

Adam jokes about Jay thinking he was going to do a podcast tonight and getting overthrown by drunk Howie, he’s still mocking BB, Alison’s reaction is awesome.

 

2nd Topic Hot chicks drinking Mangria, Howie is going off some more with his old timey mockery of BB, Jay busts out some Joe Pesci.

Jay compliments Howie and mocks him for being stereotypically Jewish.

 

3rd Topic Finding Money in your pockets.

Nicole goes nuts, Adam jokes about women telling him about their birthdays and him not acknowledging it and then going back for a 2nd lap.

Adam riffs that when he was younger the possibility that the money was someone else’s was greater, now if he finds it, it’s his or worse it’s money his wife and kids are stealing from him and dropped.

Jay tells them about booking Keith Morrison from ‘Dateline’ and Adam praises the construction of the show, Jay is riffing about how you know if someone has or hasn’t murdered their wife.

 

Jay shares his theory on Keith’s bro-hug preventing you from ever being murdered, he calls Keith the Vin Scully of murder.

Jay is telling them about meeting a guy at the airport who praised his appearances on Adam’s show but wasn’t familiar with his podcast then riffs about fighting airport security.

Jay is mocking storm tracking as a profession, Adam is riffing about the “swift water rescue team” in Los Angeles, and Adam jokes about the people who need to be rescued by them not being necessary to society.

Alison is confused, re: Phil Knight.

 

Alison is telling them about spotting a beat up minivan in her neighborhood, she spotted a man peeing while sporting a yarmulke.

Adam is now suggesting a program in Los Angeles where they get all super fucked up old minivans off the street, he’s lamenting how sad it is.

Adam brings up the Fox Theater in Bakersfield and how depressing the neighborhood is there, Adam is quoting the “would you like a piece of chicken” gas station encounter he saw.

 

Jay and Adam mock the scammers who claim to have run out of gas or need a specific amount for their bus ticket.

Adam mocks the greedy homeless guys who demand more money, citing a guy he gave a fiver to.

Jay is mocking the kids selling bullshit candy outside of the grocery store, Jay shares his high school number theory for spotting fake football players.

 

Adam doesn’t know his kids middle names but knows his number from high school, Jay is now doing his Norm MacDonald impression and Adam is joking about his use of “doppelganger” and Adam says he’s bought 3 of the magazine subscriptions but never saw one show up at his house.

Jay is joking about being startled by the mailman, Alison and Adam both react similarly to people showing up at their homes.

Adam is sharing his reaction to a ringing phone theory with Jay, how the healthiest you can be is not too eager nor in fear of answering it.

 

Adam is telling them about preparing for his KROQ bit and hanging up on the “Congratulations” he got from a solicitor calling his house.

 

Alison’s News

Adam and BB do a Draft Kings Live Read.

 

1st Story Is on a study that connects sleep disturbances to dementia, Jay tells someone in the audience to zip it.

Adam brings up his dog Molly pedaling all night, Alison jokes about her having nightmares about lowing her ear, Adam is riffing about trying to imagine what dogs are dreaming about, and it’s always running.

Adam asks why spouses derive so much pleasure over telling partners about their snoring the previous night, Adam is now lamenting how much joy partners get from this.

 

BB throws Alison under the bus, and she reveals she has taped her husband snoring, Adam has a killer joke about what he’s going to reply the next time his wife wakes him up.

 

Adam is now sharing the anecdote of the first time his wife woke him up regarding his snoring in the 1990’s and he told her “that’s how I know I’m Sleeping.”

“They all do!” – Alison on men snoring on their backs, Alison shares she doesn’t derive any pleasure form informing her husband of it.

Adam says the 2nd happiest he ever saw his wife was when he got a 79 on an IQ test.

Jay is doing some alternative lifestyle Droopy, BB has a funny “is that true?” reply that Jay notes as one of the best lines of the night, weird energy this show.

 

Jay is bringing up how guys wake themselves up with their own snoring, Alison tells them about Daniel recently doing that.

Adam is lamenting people who sleep deeply, Jay admits to being one of those people.

Adam is telling about his buddy Mike the Mason, who crashed with him while working on Adam’s grandmother’s kitchen, Adam describes him spitting on his floor after waking himself snoring.

Adam is joking about Mike’s brother being a type writer repairmen, Jay comments on them losing the audience, weird again.

 

Jay asks them what tattoo they would get if they could have one that would only last 48hrs, Adam says Tattoo of ‘Fantasy Island’ Jimmy Kimmel’s funny idea.

Alison would go with the tear drop and Jay says he would have predicted they would have gone with very different choices.

Adam jokes about not being able to get a tramp stamp due to his but crack hair tuft, Adam says he doesn’t have it on his back, just the tramp stamp spot.

 

2nd Story from BB about a ‘Sons of Anarchy’ actor who killed and ate his ex-girlfriends rabbit, Adam is riffing and Jay stops it to compliment Adam.

Jay says that DAG and Jo Koy aren’t on his level, and praises the show before doing his Eddie Vedder impression.

Adam is now giving Alison advice for a decoy rabbit should she ever start dating a Russian dude.

 

Adam brings up Alison’s white supremacist dude she dated a couple times, Jay is riffing that he had a huge cock and Alison isn’t denying it.

Alison shares the rest of the details of the case and the two felonies the man now faces for killing the animal.

Adam is bringing up how women couldn’t decide between killing the man who chopped off heads of journalists and this guy if they could only stop one.

 

 

3rd Story Is on Bob Dylan releasing an album of Frank Sinatra covers, Alison reads the track listing for all of the covers.

Adam is mocking Bob’s singing abilities and musicianship.

Adam asks if Bob is just fucking with Frank Sinatra’s ghost, Jay is busting out his Dean Martin impression and Adam brings up ‘The Gold-diggers’.

Jay is now breaking down the differences between Johnny Depp’s voice and Eddie Vedder’s.

 

Adam brings up the last time he performed on stage with Jay, their standup show at the Wiltern last year, Adam tells them about Jay calling Al Pacino from the green room.

Jay is now breaking down Al’s morphing accent and delivery over the years. Jay tells them about Mike August shouting and messing up the call.

Adam riffs about Jay calling Eddie while he’s hanging off a lighting grid, Adam tells them about the Dickey Barrett text message story, and he returned it after 3 1/2yrs.

 

Jay is going to try and call Colin Quinn.

 

4th Story is on Yale’s top 10 most notable quotes from 2014.

Alison brings up the “conscious uncoupling” line from Gwyneth Paltrow and Adam jokes about why people hate her.

Adam says we hate her because she’s better than we are, he now describes all of the ways she’s superior to most people.

Jay is mocking the lack of an evolution of Coldplay, Alison is reading the rest of the quotes.

 

Adam says he loves it when old guys add “the” to titles, Adam brings up how he adds “the” to apps, like Waze.

Jay brings up all of his priest buddies, Adam says we have enough cool people, we don’t need cool persists.

Alison has the rest of the quotes, Adam says Yale’s list is flawed in that it doesn’t contain any fast food slogans from the 1970s.

 

Adam says they would just work on cancer, we’re depressed enough and don’t need to be reminded of the darkest quotes of 2014.

 

5th Story is on the actual cost of ‘The 12 Days of Christmas’ and Jay brings up Danny Bonaduce while he and Adam riff over it.

Adam does a halfhearted stripper DJ bit.

Adam shares his theory on patrons using fake names at strip clubs, they have more to lose or just as much as the dancers.

 

Adam is now mocking the square or round question from the barber and how his biggest power move is to tell them to save it with the mirror to check out the back of his head, I now do that too.

Adam brings up them interrogating him about what number they should use on the clippers.

Adam asks Jay how much he pays for a haircut, he praises getting free cuts for work and now Jay is telling them about getting over charged for his haircut.

 

Alison is now listing off more of the actual costs, Jay asks Adam about getting his prostate checked and Adam mocks the “you know how this goes” line from the doctor before he busted Adam’s Behymen.

Jay describes the 95% vs. 5% reaction he had to the finger, Adam says he’s now ripe for a colonoscopy and insurance will cover it.

Adam is joking about a smokeless cock, a dick without the Jizz much like Drew.

 

Adam is now riffing a camping scenario with Jay, Alison has a killer “he also wants to make eggs” one liner, holy shit!

Adam is adamant that most men would prefer no Jizz, Jay says he’s crazy and Adam wraps up the riff.

 

Adam is doing a Smart Mouth Live read.

Jay tells them about cleaning his mouth fastidiously when he wrestled in high school.

Adam tells them about shoving Vicks vapor rub up his nose to keep himself awake, to feel alive. Like smelling salts.

 

Alison has the total and asks if these were actually 12 great things at any point, when we’re the 12 days of Christmas actually appealing.

Adam is riffing about yelling “season.”

 

6th Story is on Kim Kardashian’s quote about the weight she gained while pregnant.

Jay shares a quote from his wife, about Ray J’s dick launching more careers than the movie ‘The Outsiders’ and Adam laments that she couldn’t have joined them on stage in lieu of Jay, man this audience is weird.

Adam is now riffing about telling Brandy at the height of her success about her brother creating the Kardashian juggernaut with his dick.

 

Jay suggest that Adam make a sex tape with Brandy and send that to Ray J, Alison is now back to the quote from Kim.

Adam is mocking people who say things they think are humble but makes them come off even more entitled and vapid.

Jay is mocking the audience booing him, Alison is back to the quote and Adam brings the great American smoke outs, he asks if we couldn’t all pledge to turn our backs on the Kardashian’s for 2015, like Candyman, we banish them forever by not uttering their names.

 

Jay is now doing some Joe Pesci and Adam brings up one of his favorite scenes from ‘Goodfellas’ for Jay to reenact as Pesci.

Alison wraps the news.

 

Adam is doing a ManGrate live read.

Adam gives out the plugs and wraps up the show.