24 Dec Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 12/12/2014 – Adam, Alison, and Bald Bryan, Live from The Grove of Anaheim
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Adam, Alison, and Bald Bryan, Live from The Grove of Anaheim
Recorded 12-11-2014 – Release Date 12-12-2014
Production Number #1473
Adam opens the show without a guest, Adam is trying to discern who travelled the farthest distance to arrive at the Grove for this show.
A guy came from Japan, Adam has a great “RedSlantEye” one liner.
Adam invites him on stage and asks the guys about the amber alert system and tells them he was stuck in bumper to bumper traffic trying to get to Jay Leno’s shop.
Adam says he realized that traffic had slowed because people have to apply their brakes to read the amber alert information, Alison and BB both comment and Adam says we should be able to buy those signs, Alison has a funny reference to her own anecdote.
Adam is now riffing about the types of cars usually involved in Amber Alerts and how it’s never an old timey car with a guy driving wearing a scarf and goggles.
Adam mocks the concept of “abducting your own kids” and BB adds a rape element that Adam quickly makes funny and moves on from, Adam is describing the radio broadcast he heard of the events.
Adam brings up the computers in cop cars and jokes about the assholes running them communicating with the cunt at the keyboard, Alison jumps in and adds to the riff.
Adam is bringing up the guy who has to change the numbers at the gas station with a suction cup on a stick, Adam takes it back to the CHP and riffs about the cops thanking the squealers among us who wouldn’t last a minute inside the joint.
Adam jokes about never being motivated by the Amber alerts, Alison and BB join him with some funny quips.
Adam brings up the electronic sign in La Brea that tells motorists to keep their eyes on the road.
Adam asks for his man from Japan, he says Andrew looks like him if he had Down syndrome and quickly adds the Pete Sampras misquote/changed quote from Jimmy.
Adam is riffing about asking people from Japan about the country and their culture and never getting satisfying answers, Andrew is telling them about working as a translator and posing as a priest in western style weddings.
Adam asks Andrew how he got into this work, he’s an alumni of Bryan’s and Adam gets him to bust out some Japanese to address the audience.
Adam shares his love for the Japanese “Hai” confirmation and Andrew explains it, Adam says it’s a verbal nod and Andrew agrees, citing the other time it was brought up the show, this riff actually originates with Classic Loveline in the early 2000s.
Adam is now riffing with Andrew doing the conformational Hai, BB is now commenting on Adam’s highly detailed plan that calls back to earlier in the show.
Adam jokes about letting Leno come back next week despite them not being there, hilarious “have fun with GWAR” one liner.
Adam is now explaining the idea behind the cylinder count and describes how rare it is to see all of this stuff from Jay’s garage.
Adam explains the rules and lets Andrew observe the video from Adam and Leno doing the “Jay Leno Cylinder Count” and they play the video for the audience, Adam pauses it and explains the value of a Lamborghini Miura that Jay got for free.
Adam says the hallway in the video with cars goes on forever, Adam is doing commentary about the jet engine motorcycle and they let the video play out, Alison comments how she was also curious what Jay’s wife thought of his collection.
They are playing the rest of the video out and stopping for more commentary during the actual count, it’s very funny, both the video and the comments.
Adam says that Jay was actually intrigued and Gary was crunching the math, Adam is not venturing a guess, they play Jay’s number, Andrew gives his 1146, which is only off by 2 cylinders.
Adam wraps up with Andrew as he gives out an unauthorized shout out, Alison shares her 1280 guess and BB gives his, Alison comments on this finally being a game that she’s better at than Bryan.
Adam is now doing the riff on his daughter selecting her preferred car for high school, starting with the old Viper and settling on the McLaren.
Alison asks Adam about Jay gassing up his vehicles, Adam is riffing about Jay having a huge denim barrel and hopping the fence to get jet fuel from the Burbank airport.
BB comments on it being a sad statement that Bill is still the only gay guy they know, Adam says he has to replace him, he can’t have two.
1st Question Name two cast members from ‘The Expendables’ and Adam has a funny Giovanni Ribisi joke.
2nd Question Who is Howie Long? Adam riffs about BB saying how good looking he is and the way men used to affirm heterosexuality by denying the attractiveness of other men.
Adam is now once again sharing his idea for the gay games, adopting the policy from ‘The 24 hours of Lemons’ race where the crush cars randomly, Adam says a random blowjob policy will prove you’re in the right games, for the right reasons and not just to do some legally sanctioned gay bashing.
Adam is now waxing poetic on the frame and looks of Howie Long, Alison spots the guy’s Howie Mandel mix-up.
3rd Question Name a product made by Husqvarna?
4th Question Harbor Freight is what kind of store?
Adam is riffing about “floor jacks” and how it sounds like a gay move saying you can get one for 18 bucks at Harbor Freight.
All of them say he doesn’t know and he knows far too much, Adam jokes about BB’s wiring and how he thinks he can alter things recorded over a week ago by saying “No Way” and says it’s perhaps a better wiring than Alison and Adam’s.
5th Question what does HGH stand for?
BB asks if this is a woman in the clip, Adam thought BB was pointing at someone in the crowd, or he’s pretending he did, either way it’s funny.
“By the way you want to kick some tires, kick some cock in the showers” – Adam on gay men using gym locker rooms to make sure they’re fully interested in dating a guy after scoping him out in the shower.
Alison’s News – Crank Yankers “Neat!” drop edition, this Neat drop has a serious Deja vu vibe going back to the old KLSX morning show, did this happen before, BB clipped the neat and made it into a drop in 2007?
1st Story is on a survey of parents asking if they would allow their sons to play football, Adam shares his “pussy is a lifetime sentence”
Adam comments on the smart people he knows who are entitled and flounder and the not so smart guys who work hard and have made good lives for themselves.
“All I did was block so other guys could get laid” – Adam on his role on the football field.
Adam is lamenting his time as a long snapper and how all you can do is fuck up, you can never get props for doing it right, and it’s all selflessness, like being a Superfan I guess…
Alison is getting Adam to bring up the element of danger that makes life meaningful, BB jokes about pizza and Adam kills with some “yes and” and now Alison has a great one liner and is asking solid follow ups to make Adam further wax poetic on what being a little bit scared can do for instilling Grit in children.
Adam brings up Olestra chips.
2nd Story is on Whoopi Goldberg farting on ‘The View’ and Alison shares her take on how they might be covering up some other sound mistake, Adam thinks she must have since she took credit for it.
Adam is joking about greeting his son and being met with a fart in the morning.
“You do not have dominion over your anus like you did in high school” – Adam describing holding farts while on dates as a young man.
Adam is saying the best YouTube video would be the “Puka shell necklace of farts” that a man lets loose at the end of a date.
Adam jokes about telling the date about the time he shit in the shower, Adam is bringing up his aging asshole that has now gone rouge on him like a bad cop.
BB has a killer movie reference joke, good stuff.
Adam says his theory on why dudes run when getting off the sofa is them “jingling life’s keys” to try and cover up a fart with sound and movement.
Alison asks Adam about farting on air, Adam says he used to have impunity to fart without worrying about the stink, that’s true 90% of the time however there are a few nights on Loveline that the smell made Drew retreat.
Adam is now referencing one of two nights, either WEDNESDAY, JULY 12, 2000 – GUEST: NO GUEST • HOST: ADAM, DR. DREW or MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 4, 2000- GUEST: NO GUEST • HOST: ADAM, DR. DREW around 2000 it seems his farts started periodically betraying him, there is also the infamous “cherries and beer” night from 2002.
Adam seems to be describing the Sep. 4th show, Dr. Drew’s birthday, BB admits to farting all the time during the show, he says it never smells.
Alison asks about the farting at the warehouse and wants to know if her presence is keeping all of the guys on staff from letting their assholes loose.
Adam riffs about a scare crow for farts, he now brings up Jimmy Kimmel’s raw clams ammo for farting, Adam says it works due to the “head-butt theory” it was my idea so it’s worse for you.
Alison misunderstands the analogy and Adam reminds her it was the eating of the clams, not the sniffing of his own fart.
Adam is now telling them about the time he farted in a ‘Trader Joes Coffee Can’ in 1997 and tricked Jimmy Kimmel into smelling/inhaling his fart.
This was first told on SUNDAY, OCTOBER 19, 1997- GUEST: NO GUEST • HOST: ADAM, DR. DREW.
Adam jokes about the order of importance of his life events, winning the Toyota Grand Prix followed by the fart can story and then the birth of his twins.
3rd Story is on Delta Airlines plan to divide their aircraft into 5 cabin classes in 2015.
Adam riffs about the final class just having a roaming gimp beating passengers, hilarious!
Alison now explains the classes, Adam doesn’t think being the last to board the aircraft is a negative and shares his bus ticket analogy for why it’s really not.
Funny “how Queen Latifah lost the baby weight” line from Ace.
Alison asks when the pilot boards the aircraft, Adam is riffing about the nifty pilot briefcases and Adam says it should all be on a tablet now.
4th Story is on the Korean Air Executive who has now resigned after demanding a flight be diverted to kick a flight attendant off of the aircraft.
Adam is saying that one drunk guy beating off in coach should be treated like Hannibal Lecter, Adam says that we should install Lucite pods in the front of all aircraft, using them as a threat to place assholes in.
Adam says you wouldn’t tell them that it doesn’t actually eject you from 35,000ft.
5th Story is on Carls Jr. being the first fast food establishment to offer an all-natural burger, Adam riffs about the eventual commercial with Paris Hilton and then says he would use the “6 dollar burger” marketing trick for blowjobs as a prostitute.
Alison and BB are in the mix, Alison has a “world’s greatest BJ” addition and Adam takes it back to the 3rd story on Delta.
Adam is mocking the idea of being forced to wait for a beer over 90min, he jokes about that happening at a bar on the ground.
Adam and BB are mocking BB’s comedy bits, Alison is now telling them about the details of the Delta cabins, and Adam brings up Gary beating off in the pods, hilarious riff about Gary.
Alison comments on her parents putting the kids in coach while they flew in 1st class, Adam say he’s 200lbs and she jokes about being that heavy as a kid.
Adam is now commenting on his wife flying 1st class to the east coast to see Bruce Springsteen, she always uses the miles, the ones Adam earns.
Adam is now explaining how airlines have figured out how to profit off of frequent flyer programs.
Adam and BB are doing a Draft Kings Live read.
Adam thanks the crowd and wraps up the show.