09 Dec Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 12/09/2013 – Dog and Joe, Live from the Sacramento Crest
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Dog and Joe, Live from the Sacramento Crest
Recorded 12-07-2013 – Release Date 12-09-2013
Production Number #1222
Adam is opening the show live from Sacramento With local radio guys “Dog and Joe” he’s teasing his recent “car accident”.
Adam is quizzing one of the guys on his unusual 4:30am wake up habit, BB has an excellent use of the cocaine sniff drop, gold!
Adam’s really pressing him on this and he’s kind floundering, they’re now moving on.
Adam has now upgraded his kids to “a daughter and a lesbian” a win for Sonny!
Adam has a great use of “brown window” and he’s getting into his morning radio experience from 2006-2009, great fiery orb mention too.
Adam is explaining his mad dash rush that lead to his 1st ever non track related accident? Or at least the first caused by him.
Adam is joking about all of his travel items, he has uses all of his home items on the road, explaining his open coffee mug policy.
Adam is telling them about disabling the backup sensor alarm in his car and how it improves his life, he’s got a funny “voice of an old Jew”.
Adam and BB are riffing up a storm, “Instead of Siri its Muri (Murray)” – Adam’s elderly Jewish car backup sensor alert/part time therapist.
Adam’s getting to his fogged up windows and radio interview that led to him muting the sensor, Adam is citing the ridiculous move of backing his new “borrows” Jaguar into his wife’s car.
Adam is on a great riff about hitting two ball sacks with one car, Adam is now getting to Lynette asking him he did it, he’s got a great “well you know me
“Well you know me, if a car’s blocking, especially and 80k $ German Car I’ll just push that thing right down the edge of the driveway and mash it right though the gate, that’s just the way I roll!”
Adam’s getting to picturesque Inglewood and the cruel irony of the coffee spill along with ruining the outfit he needed to match for the show.
Unless someone hears this show I don’t know they could quite grasp the extreme irony and amount of coincidences at play, cursed by the Great Magnet!
Adam is now getting to the people in Inglewood doing things not usually associated with the hour for which Adam was witnessing.
The guys all Agree, Alison has some nice input.
Adam is now telling them about a delayed flight from earlier in the day, Adam is mocking the idea of a 5-8min delay, and Alison is now backing him up.
Adam is now telling the crowd how Alison made a fine point that he’s going along with, Adam was talking to the SW agent who does stand in work for “Hot in Cleveland”, the idea a “How to Answer a Question 101” class taught in schools.
Adam is now joking about white knuckling it and waiting 10 minutes vs. having another drink, he’s now sharing the guy’s answer.
Alison is now sharing what the guy said to Adam when he first approached, nice one A-Rose.
Adam is getting to another bit of recognition and the radio guys are addressing the sad realization Adam was coming to about his status in showbiz.
Adam is bringing up the freezing conditions in California and joking about his lack of temperature planning.
Adam is now describing the pictures of people standing next to snow on the news, Adam is mocking the idea of this still being novel to people, seasons come and go every year.
Adam wants to know if humans should marvel at weather as the news represents, Alison is now sharing an anecdote about the deplaning process and a super chatty weather conversation they couldn’t help but be privy to.
One of the radio guys is telling the gang about watching his pee instantly freeze in below freezing temperatures, Adam is asking him where he was and is now mocking his “fence” reply with a hilarious bar mitzvah one liner.
Adam is on a bar mitzvah/bat mitzvah riff in response to BB joking about Fresno not understanding Jewish culture and tradition.
Adam is now on a See’s candy riff, he’s talking about the joy of the packaging and the decision making process, Alison and him have a great “last call” analogy about the least consumed chocolates in the box.
Adam has a great chocolate cat turd example to explain how he’ll be going back for it, Adam is now asking what gives with concerns about germs when it comes to leaving half eaten candies back in the box and using multiple hands in the same container.
Adam is now mocking all the funny moves people to do to avoid getting germs on their hands, the ass check door open and the shirtsleeve bathroom touching resulting in a shit microbe covered sleeve.
Alison wants to know how the guys know more about the founder of See’s candy that she does, Adam is telling people to discard of the plastic blanket as it gives you false hope about the remaining supply.
Adam is now mocking the photo of the woman who founded the company, her name is Mary and Bryan is correct, Adam leaves him a perfect drop I’m sure he’ll use for his own benefit and delight later.
Adam is now getting to the double decker Sees box of candies and how he used the extra plastic layer as a candy hammock, he’s also saying it’s classy you can eat it for breakfast.
Adam is on a great riff about the candies and comparing them to a prostitute always on the same corner, the way the box beckons him.
Alison is in the mix and saying this is one of the most female thing Adam has ever brought up on the show, Adam is joking about the Tom Petty white boxes they come in.
Alison is asking Adam if he’s ever been in a Sees shop and Adam is telling her about his tax guy who sends him a double decker box every year.
Adam is telling everyone to skip the candy foreplay and do a “Sees butt chug” instead.
Blah Blah Blog
1St Blog Choices Jesse Jackson, Russell Simmons or Muhammad Ali
Adam is now addressing the drunken outburst in the audience, Adam is now quoting and mocking her.
Adam’s on a great riff wondering if Jesse Jackson is pissed about his getting bigger while Al Sharpton’s gets smaller, he’s joking about a hypothetical “Scanners” style suicide pact.
Alison compliments BB for his “Solid Question” about the status of Ali, Adam has a great “take a drool” reply.
“Float like a butterfly, Drool like a kid with a learning disability” – Adam
2nd Blog Choices Matt Damon, Ben Affleck or John Hamm
Adam is now explaining how he heard it was the driest year in California and how he notices the rain which he thought was good until he saw the municipal sprinklers running.
Adam is now comparing this to a fat person gorging themselves lecturing you on weight loss.
Adam is now joking about Dawson not talking into his mic, he’s got a great one liner and Alison has a wonderful reaction.
3rd Blog Choices Jaimie Lee Curtis, John Cusack or John Stamos
Adam is now saying if you are going to lose a battle, you want it to be to booze and drugs, not a heavy set women of color or stabbed by a hobo.
4th Blog Choices Bono, Alicia Keys or Oprah.
Adam says if Alicia ate Bono they would create Oprah, Adam is now joking about Oprah on the cover of her own magazine once again.
Adam is now mocking Bono’s courage in being against AIDS, Alison gets the bit and is dropping golden one liners for BB to save for later, and one of the radio guys misses the premise.
Adam closes it with a great preemptive end.
Adam is now responding to a fan yelling “Sonny” and he’s telling the crowd about the beautiful kisses he gets from Sonny and the head-butts he gets from Natalia.
Adam is explaining how it’s akin to a football player helmet bump and he’s now comparing his wife’s orders for Natalia to kiss him to the time Drew ordered his kids to thank Adam for helping them build their pine wood derby race cars.
Alison is now mocking how Natalia will bring the forced kisses up in therapy and Adam has hilarious therapist office beat off joke about the Kleenex in the office, he’s calling for therapist office See’s candy.
They’re now taking a strange break mid live show.
Alison’s News
Her top story is on the connection between Marijuana and Gynecomastia in men, she’s crediting Lynch for sending in the link.
This is old news to Adam as Drew has been preaching this since the mid 90’s, BB insults Lynch.
Adam is now saying he would prefer to be on this side of the animal testing, the pot and cocaine side, not the sleep deprivation.
Alison is now reading the science about the balance of testosterone and estrogen, she’s right.
Adam is now joking about the inventor of the pot brownie as being the most efficient guy on the planet.
Alison is now saying she’s never consumed “edibles” and she wants to know if everyone else sees it as counterintuitive that you are only supposed to consume a small portion.
Adam is now calling for one See’s candy per box to be infused with pot, randomly.
He’s joking about breaking into the neighbor’s house to steal their Sees.
2nd Story is on the new “Sex Now” pilot for a rebooted version of HBO’s “Real Sex”.
Adam is now mocking the 100% less than spank-able content in the 27yrs of the show’s history, Adam is joking about the idea of the people on the show trying to use a sex swing.
Alison is now brining up Adam’s daughter’s request for a tire swing, Alison wants to know where she even became exposed to the idea for one, and Adam is now explaining how the zip line was introduced after she maxed out her thrill factor on the swing.
Adam is explaining the terrible sign of her now wanting the zip line raised so she can ride it EXTREME!” and Adam is saying he has to run in tandem to keep her from smashing into the stucco wall.
Adam is joking about the things he does and doesn’t want to see, hilarious rose comedy and Germany topper. Cockroaches and heavy set women, hilarious!
3rd Story is on the biggest black Friday seller at Wal-Mart, Adam is guessing and has a funny Paula Deen Joke.
Alison says towels were the best seller, Adam thinks towels are free and can’t remember his last towel run.
Alison is reading the stats and wrapping up the story.
4th Story is on the color of the year for 2014, Adam is mocking the one picked and saying it’s only good for a New Orleans Whorehouse.
Adam is now riffing about Navaho white vs. another color with the word coffee in it, Adam has a new Wesley Snipes to Woody Harrelson scale of paint grades, nice contribution from one of the radio guys.
Alison is sharing what she has heard about Navaho white being used in shitty apartments and crappy commercial locations as it can cover up dirt, smoke and other unwanted residues.
Adam is saying that all of the rich guys with Navaho white in their offices don’t have that shade in their homes, Adam and BB have a hilarious improv with BB playing a Navaho, killer unappreciated “I know what that looks like” closer from BB, genius!
4th Story is on the upcoming Entourage Movie, Adam loved the show and is explaining his tastes for lightweight television such as “Sex and the City”.
Adam is now bringing up a conversation about an offer James Babydoll Dixon turned down, that Artie Lange ultimately took, that actually makes 3 jobs where Adam turned them down and Artie then got the gig, Stern, Entourage and DirecTV.
Alison is having Adam explain the role he was offered that Babydoll turned down, great “Dudegria” one liner from Ace, Adam is referencing his costar Leslie Bibb, citing her as 26, but she was more like 36.
Adam is saying that Turtle is the most excited for this and Alison is sharing the Piven rumor, Adam has a great reply and Alison is asking him if they’ve crossed paths.
Adam is citing his 2004 appearance, not Jeremy’s 2002 visit with their fantastic “Judgment Night” flashback.
Adam is now quoting Jeremy about his level of preparation, oddly the 2004 episode had an opening DirecTV rant from Piven.
Alison is sharing an inspiring chat they had en route to the venue, Alison has a killer reply about Adam Carolla telling to cheer up in regards to your view of show business.
5th Story is on the upcoming changes to the upcoming 2014 Formula 1 season.
Adam is now on a hilarious Artie Lange riding your horse riff while comparing these drivers’ jobs to that of a jockey, while explaining his weight loss is just part of the gig.
Adam is now on a Red Bull riff, joking about their association with sponsoring extreme activities, Adam says he doesn’t need a boost when he’s about to jump from sub-orbit, he’s suggesting they sponsor some more light weight activities like Curling.
Adam is now riffing about base jumping off the Jesus statue in Brazil (Christ the Redeemer) and Adam is now riffing with BB about base jumping.
Alison wants to know if Adam has ever gone skydiving, Adam is now saying that if you don’t want to go skydiving don’t go with a group of people who do want to go.
Adam is now sharing a person anecdote of peer pressure, Adam says the planes used for skydiving are just built for people with parachutes, hilarious!
Adam is now getting to the progressive insults and pressure to convince you to jump, nobody understands that Adam can predict what everything feels like before he does it, Alison is now in the mix and bringing up the concept about regretting things you haven’t done.
Adam is now clarifying that you are not actually skydiving, you’re just Baby Bjorn’d to a kid whose skydiving, and Alison has a funny barnacle one liner that Adam and the radio guys seem to love.
Adam is now joking about the cause of death being the sky diving instructor/tandem partners cock impaling you, great cock riff!
6th Story is on how baby carrot are made
Alison is now explaining that they are simply carved out of full sized carrots and Adam guessed it based on their shape, they’re back to the skydiver cock.
Alison is calling this total bullshit and explaining what baby carrots actually look like, Alison is reporting on biting her tongue backstage and remarking on how the pain shouldn’t be that severe, much like a paper cut.
Alison is now asking if anyone also feels like their tongue doesn’t quite fit in their mouth, Adam is now sharing how he has a buddy who can fully taco his tongue, the radio guys are asking Adam incredulously about his inability to taco his own tongue.
Adam is now on a genetic tongue taco’ing riff.
7th Story is on the death of the inventor of the “Dorito’s Loco” taco.
Alison shares how he died and Adam is riffing about god needing people and taking them off the earth, hilarious comment from the POV of god who needs little girls to watch video games while he cooks.
One of the radio guys is commenting on the 1k dollar donation towards the medical costs for the inventor of the taco flavoring after making the company over a billion in taco sales.
Adam is calling him the “Tomás Edison” of diabetes, Adam is now launching into a live read.
8th Story is on the upcoming History Channel remake of “Roots”.
Alison is reading some details about the original, she’s never seen it and Adam watched it as it aired with his mom who made a rare point about the importance of witnessing it.
The radio guys seem to hate it and Adam is explaining how the lack of options led to the event status for a mediocre miniseries, Adam has a funny aside about his kids and their future avatars.
Adam is now riffing about his mom’s crappy black and white TV being perhaps the most appropriate set to watch “Roots” and Adam is now mocking his mom’s hatred of white people.
Adam is further riffing about lack of the Carolla involvement in the slave trade, Alison wants to know what the Carolla textile would have been and he’s got a killer gabardine reply and series of asides explaining his forward thinking.
Adam is now pitching a controversial “Zac Efron as Toby/Kunta Kinte” idea, much like the recent trend of different races in traditionally white roles, what about a white actor in a traditionally black roles, comedy gold!
BB is now doing a live read predicting the 49’ers win after Alison wraps the news.
Adam is giving a nice plugs for Alison and her terrific podcast, he’s complimenting this week’s guest for praising his acting ability.
Adam is giving a confusing plug for the radio dudes and Dawson is closing out the show.