11 Dec Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 12/08/2014 – Greg Fitzsimmons and Cassius Morris
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Greg Fitzsimmons and Cassius Morris
Recorded 12-07-2014 – Release Date 12-08-2014
Production Number #1469
Adam opens the show with Greg Fitzsimmons sitting in, BB plays the “Aww Shit!” drop from DAG as today’s #TopDrop.
Adam heard Greg’s podcast with Pauly Shore, does he mean Sirius show.
Greg is telling them about the rule regarding having to blow a guy before getting to Pauly on his tour bus, Adam has a killer joke about semen bubbles and Greg brings up her lack of suction after blowing other guys.
Adam says he doesn’t have a “base” just a middle and a head, they’re continuing the vacuum comedy, comparing the poor souls who feel for that nonsense to a malfunctioning vacuum cleaner.
Adam brings up Pauly Shore’s hit single ‘Lisa Lisa’ and Adam is doing live commentary over the video, it’s pretty bad.
BB brings up how tuned into he was to MTV at the time and how he doesn’t recall it, Adam explains why it was actually ubiquitous enough at the time and uses his own recollection as the ultimate proof.
Adam does a Stamps.com Live Read.
Cassius Morris is joining them once again, Adam explains who he is, Adam jokes about Cassius interviewing celebrities and now having to slum it with Fitzdog.
Greg is sharing an anecdote of inviting Cassius to his hotel room while he was in town doing some road dates, Cassius brings up the notion of Greg looking like a pedophile, quoting his mother.
Adam says he never wanted to bring this up and broach this with Greg but he does look like a pedophile, Adam is trying to peg a mid-2000’s cinema pedophile, BB offers up some guesses but doesn’t nail it.
Adam is asking Cassius if he would like to continue his interview with Greg, he asks who is more difficult to work with, Ellen DeGeneres or Chelsea Handler.
Greg says Chelsea is really cool, Adam is helping Greg explain thing without throwing Ellen under the Subaru, good stuff.
Adam is now offering up some excuses for rotten behavior from personalities that host shows, he asks if the writers who work for said talented people don’t ultimately see their true character.
Adam says attempting to write jokes for someone day in and day out reveals what kind of person you’re truly dealing with, Greg agrees and has an example he doesn’t name.
Sonny has now entered the studio, BB says something in response, he gets so bitchy when Adam’s kids eat up his mic time, is that a bit?
Adam is telling Sonny to leave and jot some thoughts down, BB tells Sonny to avoid any pencils that say property of Fitzdog, Cassius wanted to speak to Sonny as he’s a big fan, alright.
Cassius gives Adam a good natured insult and offers to provide more interview questions, Adam tells them about Jimmy Kimmel confronting him over his use of the acknowledgment form of “awesome” like the Japanese “Hai!”
Adam is further answering Cassius question about getting into standup and comedy.
Cassius asks Greg for some crazy drug stories, he tells them about taking Mescaline and his former drug dealer who’s doing life in prison, Adam has a funny one liner.
Greg is telling them about one time he did Mescaline with his pal Eileen, he brings up a family of goofy named kids whose house they visited.
Adam shares how he’s done Mushrooms at least twice and totally understands what people mean when describing being high on hallucinogenic drugs.
Adam asks Greg if he wouldn’t prefer his kids did them 1-2 times, he says yes but only that much.
Greg compliments Joe Rogan’s personal evolution and changes as a result of psychedelic experimentation.
Alison asks about people getting epiphanies while high, Adam is now explaining the feeling of Jamais vu and how psychedelic drugs cause it due the stimulating of certain areas of the brain.
Adam is describing the Lee Press on Nail TV commercial insight he had while high, Alison is calling Adam’s realization an epiphany as opposed to him just noticing novelty in places he usually doesn’t focus upon.
Alison shares her personal loop she used to get stuck in while stoned, wondering if her reality was caused by the weed or if the drugs allowed her to tap into an altered reality that was running concurrently at all times.
Adam is now doing a live read for ManGrate.
Hooray for Baldywood
BB saw ‘Road Hard’ and is going to review it in front of the writer, director and star.
Adam tells Greg about inviting all of the local contributors to the screening, Adam is curious about the reaction, BB brings up how the movie was 97% done.
Adam shares the cast details and praises Alison’s role in the film, Greg jokes about not being invited to be a part of the cast, and Alison compliments the actress who played his daughter.
Adam explains how he wrote a role for Debra Messing’s brother’s daughter, after he contributed to the film, Adam explains why it was a win/win and ultimately made the film stronger.
BB notes the actresses who played the drunk women in the film, Adam explains what they ran into with Larry Miller and says he thought up a novel idea where they would shoot a scene in advance.
Adam explains they had the Larry Miller scene in the can, but they were stuck with his shitty first wig and his role is like a character from another movie, in a good way.
BB explains all of the Easter eggs in the movie, he says it will play stronger with non-Carolla fans, is that a Complisult about Adam recycling the show material.
He says go out and see it, no letter grade given.
Alison shares how much she appreciated the movie and how she disagrees about the moping in the movie, she has some great general praise.
BB compliments the acting turn by Phil Rosenthal, someone likes that weekly movie screening invite.
Adam explains why Phil was good in the film, Alison says it’s a very accurate depiction of how the road feels.
BB now gives it a B-, wow!
Adam takes the B – due to his lack of a self-esteem.
Q and Ace
1st Caller Zoltan, another Zoltan? Same dude? Is this a message board/Reddit Troll thing? WHO SCREENS THESE CALLS! Play the Drop BB!
Zoltan has an initially question and another follow up about Christmas lights being left on all night, Adam explains he hates waste for the sake of waste, he excuses Christmas lights and has a killer example of one person benefiting from said lights, holy shit!
Adam is explain his desire to pull the premature toilet flush before he’s done pissing, he says that Alison and Greg have both done enough shows to understand, he tells BB to zip it.
Adam is saying he’s trying to make his body wrap things up and he has a couple great examples of this behavior, he is now using staring the car while waiting for his wife to somehow push things along.
Greg “sets the table” before ejaculating, thanks Alison.
Adam has a killer joke about Greg knowing he’s going Jizz, Alison asks how men can tell they’re about to finish, Greg expertly compares it to the feeling of an impending sneeze.
Adam is lamenting the problems with Kleenex for Jizz collection, Greg is now waxing poetic on his Jizz firing, Adam jokes about him spooning himself in the afterglow.
Adam shares that someone tweeted him that they now make tissues with women’s faces on them.
Adam explains how he understands the market, Alison has a key question about placement.
Adam is doing a live read for Draft Kings with BB.
2nd Caller Thomas, he compliments how the topics changed from whatever the fuck Zoltan was talking about and ended up becoming a tangent on Greg’s Jizz rags.
Adam is now spinning off on another tangent, Sonny interrupts this one and Adam tells him to leave and come back to explain what they once he gets his notes together.
Adam is taking it back to Thomas, he wants to when Adam is going to have this conversation with Sonny.
Thomas he wants some juice behind another football campaign, Adam brings up Larry Zonka and James Van Praagh, Adam explains who those guys are to Sonny.
Adam is now asking Sonny to break down their day, he tells them about waking up and Adam marvels at the women in his house who love to sleep in.
Adam is now seeing the official ‘Dopp Spot’ of James and Larry (uncredited), even Sonny says they’re the same guy, Sonny is now breaking down their trip to Jimmy Kimmel’s studio for football.
Greg says Sonny would be a great witness for a crime, Adam wraps things up with him.
Adam is now doing a Smart Mouth live read.
3rd Caller Skyler, he thanks Adam for letting him plug his podcast last time he called in, must be nice.
Adam is telling Skyler how to make new friends, he brings up the conversation with Norman Lear and how he’s grown personally from age 85 to 92, Adam calls it ageist to assume people can’t develop as they grow old.
Adam is now marveling at all of the people he’s now met over the past few years, how he has new relationships with people that don’t have to be best friends nor lovers.
Adam brings up Nate Adams, his movie producer he first met 15 months ago and now sees every day.
Adam says that people you befriend later in life are the ones you choose and choose you, not like the people you befriend due to proximity and limitations of your youth.
Adam explains the pragmatic nature of relationships, he says he only hangs with Sonny as their interests dovetail nicely, he jokes about not being able to hang with Greg due to his sobriety and he offers to start back up.
Adam says more people than not do want to hang and make new friends.
Alison laments her clogged nose, Adam offers to let Greg usurp her position and read the news while she blows her nose off air.
Adam, says he will take a paper towel over a Kleenex for nose blowing, Alison marvels they were just talking about this with cum, you can hear BB cutting a drop.
1st Story is on the first Contractor to be sentenced after appearing on season 1 of ‘Catch a Contractor’ and now Adam is explaining the guy’s downbeat reaction at the end of the show.
Adam calls the contractor profession something out of the 1920’s and says nobody got into it for the love of building, Alison has an interesting question of some other reasons for entering the business besides failing in life.
Adam asks who works for the government and loves working for them, Adam is now having everyone write down some numbers.
Adam asks everyone what amount of money it would take to get the average American to stop doing their current profession forever, he is now bringing up the wide curve of possibly humans and professions.
He wants the average figure, Adam and Greg are riffing a bit, and Adam brings up jack bibs.
Adam says 77k, BB says 5k and explains why he thinks he’s right, Alison says 100k, Gary says 75k and says you need to count on the people who invested in their education, and Greg went much higher.
Dawson says 25k, nobody is factoring in taxes from the amount.
Adam is doing a live read for Man Crates, he makes it clear it’s different than the other Man sponsor.
Adam asks what he would be barred from doing for said lump payment, he is now trying to factor what it would be, and he says millions upon millions and explains he doesn’t look at show business as work.
Adam says at least 10 million, he says he would like to be an inventor and explains what he would do, and Alison asks if he would want that deal, he says no he would be conflicted.
Adam says the most evil move you can pull on someone is to offer them large amount of money when they’re starting out, Greg brings up his idea for selling shares in his own career.
Adam jokes about making a bad version of the same deal that ends in anal penetration.
Adam explains how he figured out everything he was doing was just going up into the ether, BB has a funny one liner about me arching Adam’s work.
Alison and Adam closes out the story.
2nd Story Is on the LAPD investigating the claims by one of the women he allegedly assaulted, Adam is now bringing up the notion of seeing Bill in the joint.
Adam says 100 years ago ruining someone’s image would be the worst thing, they would pay anything to make this go away, he says it’s a sign of how bad society is that we equate money with punishment over character.
Adam now brings up an example of him covering for his son, he does another lap on how money doesn’t solve anything, and he brings up the Michael Richards incident and what it’s done to his career.
Greg thinks Bill should kill himself, Adam seems to agree and they both marvel at Michael Richards suffering such high costs for such a brief moment in his life, Adam jokes about Michael and Bill having a backstage encounter.
Adam says he deserves whatever happens to him, Adam says he would find a super despondent pilot and ask him to pound crown royal and snort coke as they fly into Mount Rushmore.
Greg joins him and adds one final sexual assault to the riff, Adam is now riffing about Bill running into people he hasn’t seen in some time.
Greg is suggesting Bill make up lies about another famous man being a rapist, he name checks Houdini and Adam has a funny closing riff.
Alison wraps the news.
Adam does a live read for Protect Your Bubble
Adam plugs TAK #4 with Dennis Prager, he plugs Greg’s shows and Alison’s podcast too.