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Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 11/02/2015 – Greg Fitzsimmons

Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 11/02/2015 – Greg Fitzsimmons

A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS

Guest Greg Fitzsimmons

Recorded 11-01-2015 – Release Date 11-02-2015

Production Number #1693

Show Page

Adam opens the show to a funny #SackLivesMatter intro and Greg Fitzsimmons in studio, Adam gives out the plugs and immediately gets to Halloween last night and teases Greg’s daughter’s soccer game anecdote.

Adam is talking about the premature candle… Greg steps in with Premature Jack-o-lantern and improves upon Adam’s idea.

Adam is talking about his efforts to secure the sack of candy his wife purchased for the kids trick or treating, Greg admits to flushing the toilet on a number #1 as Adam talks about pissing in the sink while awaiting kids to arrive.

Greg has a killer new drop about not wanting urine splash back on his anus, he comments on BB cutting that out as he’s doing it, very funny.

 

Adam is now going over his effort to find the old candy from last year and they joke about having identifiable candy like Necco Wafers, Adam has a funny shout and jokes about the first adorable set of kids who arrived early.

Adam had Sonny get low and start rooting through the cupboards and in the pantry to find the candy bought for the purpose of giving out the to the kids now arriving at the house, it’s like they do this stuff to him on purpose.

Adam talks about the bowl being gone with all of the candy at the end of the night, he says that’s nice and kids being kids, unaware it’s probably some obese white woman driving into the “better” neighborhoods and not teenage mischief.

 

Adam wants a universal hour for the commencement of trick or treating, Greg is joking about his 12yr daughter getting hit on by neighbors, Adam has a killer “Premature Boobs” reply to the question of her being hit up about her major, very funny bit from Greg, BB and Adam topping each other.

Greg has a solid Chandra Levy reference and Gina shares the anecdote of a Facebook memory showing her and her friend dressed up for the holiday, Adam is talking about his kid’s costumes and he jokes about his daughter not being able to find a Green Bay Packers cheerleader outfit, Adam thinks it wasn’t expensive enough, hilarious riff.

Adam talks about shutting things off around the house and how he spotted a stand of a pompom melted to a curling iron, Gina comments on Adam’s daughter looking older than her age, weird.

 

Adam is talking about his son having a blast with buddies and his efforts to interrupt the festivities to go to Morton’s for a steak dinner.

 

Adam is doing a Live Read for Invoice to Go

 

Greg is now telling them about his daughter and her touchy feely (as in sensitive) league without scoring, Greg is talking about the south East Asian girl who plays rough.

Greg is talking about how hard the girls from South Central were playing, he shares the racist reaction people had despite the black girls not playing dirty or breaking any rules.

Adam talks about a uniform “all something” element that results in humans trying to profile and attach things to other people.

 

Greg is explaining the enormity of the situation and now Adam is talking about the way that some lily white rich people have kids who only see people of other races when associated with poverty.

Greg brags about his daughter’s love of surfing and everyone approves.

Adam is talking about watching the World Series and his super HD TV with angles closer than being face to face with another human.

 

Adam saw Bartolo Colón shoving something in his maw, Adam is mocking the idiosyncratic/habitual chewing ticks of the players.

Adam is talking about seeing the rookie in the dugout spitting out sunflower seeds, unaware he was even on camera.

Adam is joking about doing the math on how often they must spit per game, Adam is sharing why he’s disgusted by the spitting and is ranting about eating being banned from every sport.

 

Adam says he doesn’t like rules but he doesn’t want to see some guy’s spit, he hates spit.

Adam wants a “no eating at the plate” rule for pitchers, he says we’ll fine them 10k for every infraction and the proceeds will go to a children’s charity for “orphan kids.”

 

Greg jokes about the players being able to eat the minute amount of nut and discard the shells, Gina jokes about being interested in meeting that man.

Adam is now joking about what would happen if one manager was to light up a cigarette what would happen while the players are allowed to chew tobacco.

Greg talks about the brown chew spit that resembled vomit he remembers from the pre-HD days of his childhood.

 

Gary is on mic and they’re further trying to figure out what Bartolo Colón eats while on the mound, BB has lots of information and Adam jokes about stringy pot-roast.

Adam is joking about what various sports players like doing/eating.

Adam is now predicting how the player’s union would react to these rules, Adam thinks their superstitious perhaps aren’t working that well when they’re doing poorly before the playoffs even begin.

 

Adam is talking about superstition in hockey vs. baseball and how the rate of speed of a game dictates how much dumb repetitive stuff you do between periods of actually playing, slow sport equals OCD opportunities.

Everyone is weighing in and they move on.

 

Adam is doing a SimpliSafe Live Read

 

Adam is teasing the news story about the young man who died and was ejected onto a freeway sign, Adam is talking about how close the incident was to their studio.

Adam tells them about Rob driving into the shop after it happened, Gary gets on mic and shares his own experience.

Adam is talking about what a freak accident that was and how hard it would be to recreate, Gina brings up the Randy Johnson pitching incident where he exploded a bird.

 

Adam and BB are now riffing as someone interrogating Randy about hating birds, hilarious Foul/Fowl comedy and brilliant timing from both Bryan and Ace.

Adam is joking with Greg and BB about MLB players eating dinner with their families as Adam is viewing and requesting more pictures of some player chewing.

 

Q and Ace

1st Caller Chris, he wants to know about Adam calling his son a pussy on air and if he fears this blowing back on him later in life.

Adam says that’s just the thing he’s part of a whole generation of these types of kids, Adam is talking about the thrill seeking gene.

Gary has footage of Bartolo Colón with a bucket of gum, BB suggest they call Cousin Sal who Adam is on his way to see at Kimmel’s theater.

 

Adam uses a car sliding sideways doing doughnuts in an icy parking lot for a metaphor about one’s reaction and what that means about their affect and genetic predispositions.

Adam has a cute anecdote about Sonny and his stuffed animals and how his friends won’t judge him as they all have them too.

Adam has Cousin Sal on the line, he talks to them about Bartolo Colón and now Sonny is in studio listing off his stuffed animals and their adorable names.

 

Out of curiosity Adam asks him about the extra work of moving the stuffed animals from room to room, Adam keeps name dropping Malibu Marty.

Sonny is telling them about the Great Carolla Candy Swap of 2015, he says his favorite is Skittles and Adam has a quick one liner “go from gay to bi” after he admits like Twix.

Greg asks about Sonny giving candy away to poor kids, he says he doesn’t know any and Adam jokes about showing him a picture of himself at 26.

 

Adam is now comparing his kids, he’s telling the story of his daughter and hew 4yr old desire to jump further.

Adam is telling them about the games they used to play with his kids running and diving off the bed, the perfect height sweet spot bed.

Adam defines the best height for a bed and then breaks down how his kids would dive at him, how his daughter would intimate for him to go “no forward” and Adam let her launch herself into the carpet to learn her limits.

 

Adam is explaining his move of faking distraction while she was diving and how she ended up declaring “I like the way it feels” needing the amyl popper on top of the initial rush.

Adam has a hilarious sound effect for sniffing a popper and jokes about having Geragos on speed dial for her teen years after Gina brings it up.

 

Adam is now doing a Live Read for Zip Recruiter

Adam refuses to name drop Ric Ocasek edition

 

Gina’s News

Adam plays a clip of Fitzdog’s latest standup special, very funny.

 

1st Story is on the car accident that led to the deceased being ejected onto a freeway sign, Adam says it must be the weirdest thing in the world to explain this to people 6 months down the road, like if you knew the guy and you’re explaining how he died.

Adam talks about the Armenian love of supped up cars and Fast and Furious antics.

Adam says this deceased young man had a lifetime of click it of ticket and he refused to wear his belt, he would not wear it.

 

Adam is now figuring out how he was ejected from the car, Adam jokes about the people at Ford being happy to see so much of their product out there on the roads.

Gina tells them about flipping a car and going to a wedding afterwards

Adam jokes about her boobs protecting her in the crash and finishes up the story.

 

2nd Story is on Leah Remini’s interview about her history with Scientology, Adam brings up the shit talking element of the church after they watch a clip of her interview.

Adam agrees with part about owning Poland, but why exterminate the Jews at the same time.

Adam wants a rich person’s religion minus all of this weird extraneous shit, Adam gets the scam of it all just not the dumb policing and rules.

 

Adam is mocking Marc Anthony and his horrible song ‘I Need to Know’ and he sings a few bars while judging the lyrics, Adam calls him a little fucking rat.

Adam hates the people who defend that song, they respond to the Latin vibe not the actual song.

 

Adam is doing an Onnit.com Live Read

 

3rd Story is on a Polish court denying the extradition of Roman Polanski, Adam says he’ll probably get hi and says he doesn’t get extradition.

Adam says this is like Rob Gronkowski walking around campus at his high school, Adam says shut the fuck up Mexico in regards to their morality.

Adam says we should just go get these fugitives and asks France to give us one minute director for every 100 dead 19 years olds from WWII that we sent over to save them.

 

Adam wants to know why this is so outrageous and says it’s a dangerous precedent to send that you can escape prosecution by flying to another country.

Adam jokes about military coed names for high value targets and assets after Greg brings up Seal Team 6 going in and kidnapping our fugitives like Roman Polanski, hilarious.

Gina wraps the news.

 

Adam is now asking about Marc Anthony taking off on his pregnant wife to be with famous J Lo.

 

Adam does a Draft Kings Live Read

 

Adam is giving out the plugs and wrapping up the show.