28 Oct Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 10/28/2014 – Maria Menounos
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Maria Menounos
Recorded 10-27-2014 – Release Date 10-28-2014
Production Number #1441
Adam opens the show to a funny #TopDrop of himself lamenting the experiments he has had go wrong in his mouth, Adam sets the record straight, he meant Bill Clinton yesterday.
Adam is explaining how he misspoke and how his brain thinks George is the most presidential name, Adam is commenting on the weird insane confidence of Bill Clinton running as president as “Bill” and not William.
Adam is now talking about the real George Clinton, BB guesses you could get him and “P Funk” over at your party for 20 grand.
Adam is now commenting on how much George stinks and the old joke about BO and armpit touching.
Adam says that if George Reclines his hair goes into his armpits, then we have a serious modality for stink transfer.
Alison asks them if they remember the feeling of smelling the hair of the student in front of them, she cites stinky pothead hair.
Adam has a funny “Gee your hair smells like George Clinton” the failed shampoo variant of the 1970’s, Alison asks if that’s true, like joking right? She corrects herself and is now with the riff, ok phew!
Adam is bringing up his old Mr. Birchum tapes, including the ones he taped himself off the radio, I guess Lynette brought these tapes into the warehouse and dropped them off on Engineer/Producer Chris and I got wind of it via social media and almost died while shitting my pants.
The tapes ended up in my possession, I transferred them.
Adam is now comparing his phone calls into Kevin and Bean to that of ‘Prisoner David’ their maximum security caller, accused rapist etc.
Adam is forgetting my calls into the KLSX ACS, it’s the same story minus any criminal activity and actually entertaining, a much closer echo of his own experience.
Adam is explaining how you need to bring it for your first calls, you gotta show up on day 1 in order to shit the bed on show 4.
Adam explains how he was told to come up with a character, Adam told Jimmy he doesn’t do characters and jokes about his “gay florist” and “nerd” options that didn’t seem sustainable for his talents.
Adam came up with a wood shop teacher, using his own personal expertise.
Adam explains that Kevin and Bean didn’t even know who Adam was at the beginning and that’s the way Jimmy wanted it.
Adam is explaining the structure of his calls, how they would evolve and his fictional job at Louis Pasteur middle school.
Adam is explaining how he had these cassettes, leaving out the part where he recorded some of them himself off the radio.
Adam explains that I got the tapes and sent them in, Adam is now setting up one of the first transfers and says it’s him calling in and not getting paid, he notes that in 1995 he moved into the studio for a regular segment “Ask Mr. Birchum” and Adam is now back dating it using the date from 1994 to figure out his life at the time.
Adam comments on how this is the 20yr anniversary of this clip and brings up the words of Molly Ringwald’s father “here today, gone tomorrow” and Adam describes the scene, he was coming up on his 30th birthday when he got his foot in the door at KROQ via his comedic abilities over the phone.
Adam describes his ancient Indian virus that Drew suspects was herpes, Adam describes the lesions and cold sweats, he says then he never had herpes, forgetting about a few key Loveline nights and getting a prescription from Drew for Valtrex due to his facial lesions.
Adam explains the earthquake disease people were claiming to have.
Adam is going super in-depth on his life at the time, giving rare details that typically take 3-5 tellings/variants to hear them all.
Adam is back to his status as a phone in contributor to the show and describing the scene while setting up the clip.
They’re now playing the clip with perhaps the roughest audio of the bunch, October 4th 1994 ‘Homecoming Float’.
Adam is telling them he would call in from his bathroom or kitchen from the house he shared with 3 roommates, BB is asking about how Adam eventually moved into the studio for a segment.
Adam is explaining how he had to make it funny and roast the caller a bit before offering up genuine home improvement tips.
Adam is sharing what his shortsighted goofball buddy Ray told him about demanding more money for his bits, Adam is sharing what he could’ve done, how he could’ve argued his way up to 75$ a bit, Adam says that’s not enough to warrant the request.
Alison jokes about her and BB paying Adam to be on this show, Alison wants to know what percentage of listeners realized this was a character and not an actual shop teacher.
Adam is explaining how he would go into the studio and some lady would call in and bring up a very obscure fence company, Adam would then drop the actual terms, further creating his illusion of this other person being real.
BB says that a shockingly high number of people didn’t know it was a fictional character, he is telling them about call screeners who would references Mr. Birchum as if he was a separate person than Adam.
Adam explains that Jimmy was also playing a character “Jimmy the Sports Guy” using a put on accent and pretending to be at his mom’s house.
Adam is now joking about the old school dot matrix printer and the era that required a separate desk just for your computer and one for your printer.
Adam shares his own surprise to find Jimmy in studio and not calling from his house, even Adam was fooled.
Adam is now doing a Draft Kings live read.
Q and Ace
1st Caller Shannon, Adam waits to bring her on the line and tells the booth to tell Matt to bring him different page numbers and that it will make sense soon enough.
She wants to know if they’ve ever had dreams/sex dreams about any of the other cast, Adam says he never dreams about this show or this job.
Adam doesn’t have his dread related dreams about this job nor the “ice cream” dreams that are positive and he tells them about his recent dream about a 34yr prison sentence.
Adam doesn’t go to bed with a headful of podcast angst, BB is now explaining he has not had any sex dreams about anyone under this roof, except for Caelan’s dad who is tangentially linked.
BB has a couple great drops of Adam talking about BJ’s during Alison’s explanation of her non sexual dreams about the remaining cast, wrong skin color…
Alison has a killer “are you talking about you or me?” one liner to BB’s dumb bald joke, she saved it.
2nd Caller Zoltan, he is telling Adam that the finalized picture of ‘Close quarters’ is not as good as it could be, he is telling him that it looks like 3 different pictures, he’s a mail carrier but knows what he likes.
BB is now being honest and telling Adam it looks like 3 merged photos, Zoltan is suggesting they redo the poster with more realistic dimensions.
Adam is now looking at a ‘Mulaney’ poster that also looks like a merging of several photos, Adam is now explaining why he positioned that poster in such a way, to work in the actual scene in the movie.
Adam is telling them why he as the script in front of him and telling the gang about the 1st draft of the poster, Adam is now telling Gary he has missed his life’s calling, that of an easel.
Adam is now going over the beats from the script, they’re all admiring the poster and it’s very capable human stand.
Adam brings up the ‘Marina’ joke and original poster design, much like he discussed on Adam and Dr. Drew Show #185
Alison and BB are weighing in on the original poster design, done by a person Adam likes and respects, he’s just baffled by the design choices.
Adam is now asking what people are basing their choices on, he wants to know in a world with the internet are there any excuses still allowed about not being able to do your job.
Adam is reiterating he liked the woman and he is sharing how he was harping on this the whole day and was being told to let it go by the rest of the editing crew and film production.
BB says it’s almost too good, like something in an art department but not for what they were going for,
Maria is making her 7th appearance on the show with her last visit just two months ago on ACS #1398.
Adam is asking about Maria and Kevin’s house, he wants to know owns it. Maria is explaining that Kevin only own a very old fan and his strategy in wanting to own nothing.
Maria explains it’s so he can be sued and have nothing to lose, Maria is very considerate of her partner and his eccentricities and Adam is taking it back to Tony Robbins.
Adam is asking about Lynette and Maria’s “Honky Brunch” comparing it to the Oprah “White Party” events that Maria claims to be ignorant to but for sure has reported on them, for sure.
BB jokes that he never thought he would live to experience Adam knowing more about Oprah’s ladies who lunch events than Maria.
Maria is sharing how the various women who showed up for her Honky Brunch, she explains how she invited her favorite people and Adam mentions that Maria Shriver was at the event.
Adam is talking to Maria about judging and her motor, Alison has a funny series of quips and Maria is now lamenting lameness in others, she’s getting emphatic and sounds like a Muppet character, in a good way.
Adam is explaining how in 2014 you can walk into your boss’s office and say “I’m not feeling it today” and Adam shares his desire to see employees bleeding before dismissing them.
Maria is fired up and Adam is matching her and they’re going off on the coddled generation, Adam says he would like his kids to do a year in the military after high school, before moving out into the word or going to college.
Adam has a hilarious “Kevin’s dad went to work a day after he died” mistake, killer riff, Alison says people don’t know how to feel (handle) discomfort and Maria makes her repeat it in a “you go girl” moment.
Adam is now telling them about a shooting day on set for ‘Catch a Contractor’ and being confronted about his tone, Maria is sharing how things work in the entertainment business and how people need to bust their ass to move up the ladder.
Adam is explaining that people don’t want to feel the shame of lethargy, so instead of aspiring to match the success of “Mr. Walters” now people want to bring him down to their level and ruin the rewards of his hard work and success.
Alison is now asking what young people should do who are stuck in jobs they don’t want to do but hope to use to move up.
Maria is now saying you need to be loyal to your boss and stick with them, root for their success, BB jokes about being an ass-kisser and Maria tells him it’s because he’s so committed to Adam’s success, hahahahaha.
Maria does her laugh, Adam references the “Ah, DIAMOND EARRINGS!” Dameshek drop as Adam asks for more info about the white parties.
Adam says you’re never working your “be all/end all” job, there are many more things in front of you, and even the most successful examples you can think of.
Adam has a killer joke about Oprah and Gayle’s big dinner, gold.
Adam is telling people to have one modality and explains you should give it your all every time, fuck the super model and drunken 4’s from the bar the same way, do your best.
Adam is using his work ethic and experience being a carpenter to further explain his point about doing your best and taking pride in your work, hilarious side tangent about the fake doodie factory ‘Shits and Giggles’ with Alison.
Adam is now doing a Smart Mouth live read.
Adam is explaining the history of the DAG sex dream to Maria before they premier the new song, featuring clips of Alison Rosen.
This song is amazing, to the tune of ‘Soul Man’ but a variant ‘Soul-Mate’ a mashup of sorts.
Alison is now explaining how she’s getting divorce speculation on social media from people who claim to have not been listening, double “How Dare You!”
Adam is now commenting on Alison’s’ explanation about the series of comments and episodes that have led to this, Adam says some people round up and some round down.
Adam jokes that those people who fake it are more likely to be divorced and that’s what he tells Lynette, Alison and BB are adding to this nicely, very funny.
Adam is asking Maria where her pragmatism meets her need for romanticism, remembering birthdays and such.
Adam jokes about being a couple with Maria, just yelling at people who make minimum wage.
Maria is explaining that they don’t celebrate birthdays and anniversaries, Maria explains the theory behind every day being her birthday.
“Happy Birthday, love you, blah blah blah” – Maria.
Alison’s News
1st Story is an update on the Marysville shooting, another death and Alison explains how the teacher intervened and left his suicide unclear, Adam calls the teacher a hero and a saint.
Maria says these shootings are the main evidence needed for increasing the pay of teachers, BB quips about it being hazardous duty.
2nd Story is on TLC cancelling ‘Honey Boo-Boo’ and Adam mocks their newfound morality, joking about the past 5 seasons watching the little girl swim in a tub of dijonnaise.
Adam jokes about the “sex offender” and his eyes, saying he stole his eyes from Harry Shearer.
Alison is now reading the details but has a frog in her throat, they’re now looking at “Pumpkin” next to Harry Shearer, and Alison has big reaction to it.
Adam is bringing up people who shoot down your “that person looks like that person” observations, citing how Jimmy Kimmel would always tell him the person had no resemblance.
Adam brings up GodZuki and Cris Carter.
BB says his wife is exactly like Kimmel and tells him he’s “the worst at this game” which cracks Adam up.
3rd Story Is on Jeff Robertson’s seizure while deer hunting, Alison observes that would be a terrible place to have a seizure and Adam is now riffing about the notion of sitting on a ice chest for 9 hours covered in deer urine scent.
Adam is saying the percentage of women who lie on their driver’s license about their weight is equal to the amount of men who hunt and claim to eat everything they kill.
Adam has a killer “antler smoothie” one liner, Maria has great “ewww” reactions and Adam says they always hide behind a curtain of jerky, you can’t call them on the bullshit.
“If you liked eating you’d be at the ARBY’s, you like shooting…” – Adam on hunting.
Adam is now bringing up the new movement of hunters trying to move away from corporate farming, Adam says it’s the men’s version of a breast feeding movement.
Adam says its better and Alison agrees but is now making a case about the actual killing of an animal and what it takes, how different it is from going to the store and buying something.
Alison wants to know why the people who hunt and kill their own meat are better than the people who couldn’t do that but still blindly eat meat.
Adam is now quoting the “Movement” and the rhetoric from these guys about the greater respect it gives you for the animal you destroy in order to consume.
Adam says it’s the equivalent to buying a car after years of hard work as opposed to a gift from a rich uncle, Alison says it feels like jacking off and I have to agree.
Adam wraps up his thoughts and everyone weighs in, Alison closes the news to Maria’s drop about her allergy.
Adam is doing a Reverie Bed Live Read.
Adam jokes about being able to kiss his daughter’s forehead instead of scalp due to his latest TV project, Maria is amazed that Adam uses the vibrate feature on his bed and says she has the same bed but doesn’t like it, Adam mocks her inability to enjoy life.
BB jokes about his daughter kissing him on the lips during season 3, hilarious ratings technical information one liners from Adam.
Maria is plugging her latest gigs and the launch of the new ‘Fast and Furious’ trailer premier, Adam is telling Matt to clean his schedule and jokes about her laugh, “know you have a great laugh… just scared me” awesome.