22 Oct Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 10/16/2014 – Adam, Alison and Bryan
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Adam, Alison and Bryan
Recorded 10-14-2014 – Release Date 10-16-2014
Production Number #1433
Adam has the standard intro and BB plays Rob Huebel’s “MMM’oooh fuck” as today’s #TopDrop and some observations about DUI checkpoint evasion.
Adam is now telling them about his day of filming in Huntington Beach followed up by an appearance on JKL, BB and Alison are peppering in some commentary.
Adam is going in depth on the condo complexes found across Los Angeles and he mocks the good for nothing courtyards provided for the tenants.
Adam was looking through bookshelves and the community billboard and he tells them about the memorial pic of someone’s dead dog and BB has a killer “we’re you lost” one liner about Adam browsing the books.
Adam is asking why this person put this flyer up and why choose to bum out everyone in the community, Alison tries to throw herself under the bus for her own recent dog related tragedy and aftermath with public mourning.
Adam is describing the full headshot of “jenny girl” and BB has an analog Facebook one liner that Alison seems to appreciate.
Adam saw Bethenny Frankel’s book in the collection of sun damaged/weathered books, Adam jokes about her telling her ghost writer to let loose after Alison jokes about the meaning of her topless boob covering book cover.
Adam is now joking about all the shit adages, about shit rolling down hill and eating where they shit.
Alison went to the bathroom with a mouthful of beef jerky and Adam brings up all of his staff who have to eat where they shit.
Adam is bringing up the “shit eating grin” and how even shit mashed in your ear doesn’t make you smile, BB brings up “shit or get off the pot” and Adam brings up “can’t win for losing” and Dawson offers up another one.
Adam and Alison are explaining scared shitless and breaking it down, Adam mocks the “complete 360” he heard an athlete say during a postgame interview last season.
Adam is referencing “Don’t Bullshit a Bullshitter” and how it’s not giving out the message you think after Adam and Dawson explain can’t win for losing to BB.
Adam is bringing up “I’ll see you in hell” and his idea for an air conditioned porthole, Adam is now reading the definition and BB is reading it again, Dawson was right!
Adam is now running an invention by the gang after talking to Jennie Garth today about dick pics on the most recent Ace on the House and Adam explains his dick pics with red velvet cake idea and his funny kitten addition.
Alison has a great reaction to Adam’s one liner about the variant picture.
Adam is bringing up his reduced sized silver dollar in the dimensions of a dime to use for fooling the scale of his dick size in his dick pics.
Alison is now breaking down her reaction to both types of dick pics, Adam says it’s like wrapping liver in bacon and Adam jokes about wrapping dicks in bacon to get hetero guys to suck cock, BB is now saying he would have to go with the bacon BJ over the non-bacon’y one.
Adam is now doing a Lifelock Live read
Adam brings up the Cranston poster in his email and jokes about dagnabbit and consarn it idioms both needing to exist.
Adam is now crediting Gary with an idea regarding the patent trolls and he properly credits Chris and now Adam is asking about Chris having a dick pic floating around, BB jokes about it being on his iPad mini and he has a killer panorama retort.
BB brings up Chris’s moustache as discussed on the most recent Thursday episode of ARIYNBF and Adam is now asking Dawson about his coffee table book full of dick pics and jokes about him having them of himself, Dawson has a killer reply.
Adam is saying that no dick pic is right up there with guys who have no photos of them with their shirt off, it’s a tell.
Adam is bringing up women in photographs ion bikinis and trying to figure out the mason Dixon line for dick pics, he says about 6 and ¾ inches is the cutoff and guys shouldn’t be so quick to answer saying they don’t have any.
Adam is now explain his theory and Alison has some probing questions, Adam says the dick is the last thing you want in a cloud, when it rains you’re getting covered in Jizz or dicks, you wants dicks in middle earth, not above you, BB is riffing with him.
“Perfectly wonderful large cocks” – Alison
Adam is now telling them about the picture of Cranston from the fake TV sitcom poster, he has it and you can see it via the show page link above.
Adam reveals that the wife in the poster is played by Michael Trucco’s real life wife and BB reveals they went to school together and still get the newsletters.
Adam is now explaining the premise of ‘Back to Zero’ the new game as thought up by Chris.
1st Caller Steve, he uses various creamers for his coffee that Adam hates, like hazelnut and also can’t drink coffee after a certain point in the day.
Adam jokes his penance will be raising a family in Houston, of course he already lives there and has a solid reaction to the one liner (I live in Houston nowL).
Adam is offering the chance to “grandfather” Steve out of Houston as he’s been there since 2006, they moved from the San Fernando Valley, Encino specifically,
“What did they discover you weren’t Jewish and kick you out?” – Adam
Adam is now riffing about the hick/Jew exchange program between Houston and Encino.
Adam is asking follow ups about his family and his wife who is originally from Houston, Adam says he will stop stereotyping when he’s finally wrong, he brags about this and BB jokes about him being only right this one time and to take it one step at a time, see how it goes.
Adam is wrapping up with Steve.
Adam is asking them to explain to him that he had to buy mini cups of creamer, BB wants to know why Adam had to buy the mini cream for himself, because he lives with someone who likes French Vanilla cream so that one is never empty.
Adam is joking about the cow fart smell when checking milk/cream to see if it’s gone bad, Adam is now explaining that it doesn’t matter who you live with, if they don’t consume what you consume they will forget.
Adam jokes about a “MOO’d stabilizer” in the off the shelf dairy creamer, Alison is asking about why they don’t go bad and BB is now offering some insight while also puzzled at how they seem to be good forever.
2nd Caller Mike, he is a huge fan and has some kind words for his mentor, Alison and Bald!
He was dating a girl from Iowa while at school there, Adam is mocking him for his communication skills and is further asking him about his infidelity, he’s asking him to skip ahead to the middle of the story.
He never told his now wife about the woman he cheated on her with, he even names the hardware story in Kansas City, his wife dies of cancer in 2012 and never knew about the affair he had.
Adam feels bad and is now recounting the events, they all agree it’s good she died unaware of his affair, he wants to know if he should tell anybody, Adam is walking him through the range of emotions he’s feelings.
Adam says the concept of “you gotta come clean with your kids” is total bullshit, it’s like the idea of needing to watch your parents fuck.
Adam tells Mike to never tell her daughter and Mike asks about her friends, they think they meant his 7yr old daughter, he wants to know if he should tell his wife’s friends.
Adam is now explaining that the truth doesn’t always set you free and when it does, sometimes it’s an anchor on those you share it with.
Adam is explaining how kids need and should feel safe, if his daughter learns of his foibles, especially this age it could burden her and now Adam is asking if his wife had a charity or interest.
He says yes, lung cancer and tells him to redeem himself he needs to work with that charity, he tells him to jog, and he’s now mocking the devolution of 5 and 10k runs into walking events.
Adam says he needs to raise 10k, he will be absolved of his sins when he reaches it and tells him to never repeat this to anyone but all of us.
3rd Caller Scott, he says he’s the opposite of the last guy and Adam is now putting him on hold.
4th Caller Mike, he has something of similar weight and tells them about farting in his gym shower during the morning rush, it was not good.
Adam says he’s not too upset about this, if you enter the Bally’s Gym at rush-hour, you must expect smells and sights you don’t necessarily want to see.
BB is bringing up the tile walls and how the heat only makes the stink rise, Adam orders him to eat a donut in lieu of doing push-ups.
3rd Caller Scott Part Deux, He’s telling them about being a fuck buddy and possibly impregnating said F buddy who was involved with another man at the time.
Adam explains how that question can only mean rape allegations and other negative possibilities, Scott shares how he’s seen “it” grow up on Facebook and it resembles him more and more with each year.
He’s sure it’s his and is clarifying the reality of his situation.
Adam says he must see the movie ‘Kindergarten Cop’ 128 times, he’s using the Schwarzenegger parallel to this story, BB says that about 10 viewings in a row will hold up but anything after will be misery.
Adam is asking Scott about this situation, he says the ultimate punishment is him not being in the life of his own kid, Adam jokes about Scott not possessing a soul after his heartless egocentric reply of sociopath.
Adam wants to know why evil soulless people are rewarded with fuck buddies and Alison says “Amazing Jizz?” while trying to finish his sentence.
“God’s like you’re soulless so I’m gonna bury you in pussy” –Adam
Adam is now trying to convince Scott he’s secretly miserable, BB asks about his current fuck buddy status and Adam is now asking if he can conjure any feelings of guilt or being despondent about this.
Adam is now quizzing Scott about his dad and how he became soulless, he says he hasn’t seen his dad since he was 7 and he’s now filling them in on his dad abandoning him and you can hear his childhood anger and rage pouring out from his clenched teeth.
Adam is talking about how bad role models work in the converse way of a good one, Alison has a killer joke about the 4th caller Mike and his farting son.
Scott thanks Adam, BB objects as they all helped him and Adam closes it out with some more funny.
Adam is now doing an Onnit live read
He’s bringing up their motel from ‘No Country for Old Men’ they stayed in while in Dallas Texas and could’ve used a warrior bar for sustenance while they were there.
Adam is now lamenting the vortex of carbs that surround air travel and how protein is what you really need.
Adam is doing a very emphatic live read and bringing up their excellent supplements like Alpha Brain and Drew’s favorite the MCT oil.
They’re now heading to break.
They’re back form break.
A caller with a prodigious ballsack left a voicemail.
Adam says he’s never measured his sack, he’s asking BB about the days where your balls are hanging low and your cock is being sucked back into your torso, he says Dawson wouldn’t know about this due to his obviously proud hanging dong.
Adam is lamenting his shrunken post workout dick, BB totally agrees. I wonder if this is because they both have admitted they’re uncut or at least were.
Adam is lamenting the constant growth of your nose, nutsack and ears while your hair falls out and penis shrinks.
Just Me or Everyone – ACS Round Two
1st JMOE from Tony – have you ever worn a t-shirt as pants while doing laundry, BB described the crotch-less panty aesthetic and Alison shares an anecdote, Adam declares this is just Tony.
2nd JMOE from JMOEs and Bobo’s – Holding your breath during commercial breaks, Adam brings up his holding his breath while driving through tunnels, BB agrees and Adam recalls telling this to someone who acted like he was crazy.
Alison shares her tension with fast forwarding movies and TV.
Adam is now sharing the most annoying commercial there is, he’s bringing up the masses of auto insurance commercials we all see vs. how many times we swap coverage during a life time.
“The General Seems like a cool dude” – BB
Adam was going to bring up that shitty CG character and his shitty commercials, Adam wants to know why such an abundance, BB brings up the coming health insurance commercial apocalypse.
Adam promises to switch to the General and his wife over to Flo at progressive if he never has to see one of their commercials again for another 10 years.
Adam says he will buy all of these things including a case of douche if he never has to sit through these commercials again, Adam says fast food, and pizza and other things you can crave are the only commercials that work.
Adam is now bringing up the brother from All-State Dennis Haysbert, the other hung dude Adam has met besides Dawson, see the 1999 celebrity dodger game shower story.
3rd JMOE from Stacey – on a hot day she has trouble trying to decide between a faraway parking spot in the shade or one close to the door in the sun.
Adam is explaining that in L.A. you take any spot that is open and is now working the schlep factor into the parking spot choice.
Adam is saying his next car is the one that has the AC running when he’s not in it, he says don’t tweet him about the Prius, it has a fan system, not AC.
Adam explains how it would work and the mechanics of the engineering required to accomplish it.
Adam is explaining how electric vehicles have these motors, Adam is now bringing up his mom’s sun blasted Volkswagen station wagon and the notion of wooden beaded seat covers, he mocks her and says he’s sure they figured out how to make a comfy seat.
Adam is making a point about P. Diddy’s car and his mom both getting just as hot in the same parking lot, he would rather pay the extra money.
Adam brings up his Jaguar lent to him for the past year and how it’s hot as a kiln when he enters into it despite the hefty price tag.
4th JMOE from BB, he says he goes right to the front thinking people assume a space won’t be there, Adam asks him about his handicapped placard and he says he only uses it for meters, not for spaces as he is ambulatory and moral.
Adam jokes about him using it to cut coke, Gary is now on mic further explaining BB’s benefits from the placard and how lucky BB is.
Adam is now asking why BB doesn’t use the parking up front, he’s explaining his morality and Adam is struggling to figure him out.
Adam says it’s commendable and brings up the Beverly Hills wives who have the placards dude too much plastic surgery.
Adam is making some great points about the people who cheat the system and how BB has a legitimate reason, he is now bringing up the guy in the van with the special lift and how there are always more spaces than there are handicapped people.
BB brings up Anderson who argues Adam’s point too, Adam is now telling BB he’s a hero for not sitting on unemployment and explaining he’s not arguing that point.
Adam wants BB’s money for the meters he hasn’t spent, Adam wants to know about the free ride on meters, why?
BB explains the logic of the meter being open for handicapped people, Adam is very impressed with BB and keeps saying it.
Adam comments on BB looking out for himself and how this is refreshing, he doesn’t think he knows anybody who would do what BB does and not occupy the spot.
Gary is explaining how he had a placard for two months that his buddy left in his car and how he didn’t use it, Adam is now clarifying his point about the word “legitimate”.
Alison has a funny pointy about BB stealing spots from able-bodied people, Adam tells BB that is “noted” and BB celebrates as they wrap up the bit.
Adam is now explaining his pragmatism and how he would approach this scenario.
Adam is further waxing poetic on this behavior, the “rent control element of life” and why the government doesn’t factor in human behavior.
Adam jokes about shitty jobs that pay nothing and says for Gary it’s this job, everyone laughs.
Adam puts a cap on Baldywood and asks Alison to get the news ready.
They’re doing a Draft Kings live read
1st Story is on a 2nd Dallas nurse who has tested positive for Ebola, she shares how the woman travelled after being exposed and Adam wants to know why she wasn’t kept from travelling.
Alison is reading the new guidelines and Adam is still not worried about it.
Adam is asking for less important and giving professions to get Ebola, not the nurses, how about non writing producers, he jokes that may be too inside, Lynch will probably love it though.
2nd Story is on a developer selling the Ebola.com URL for six figures, she shares the owners reply of “that’s the same thing doctors do” when asked about profiting off sick people, BB has a killer world health organization joke accompanied by his “Who!” drop.
Adam is joking about snaking the dude with the .org domain.
Alison and BB riff about a new domain for illnesses, an .ill or .RIP and Adam laments people who think of ways to make money that he never thinks of.
Adam is bringing up the early season of Survivor and the guests they had on, he is bringing up Jerri Manthey and her appearance on the show where she was kinda cunty, forgetting she then came back on the show two more times.
He’s forgetting the two other ‘Survivor’ chicks Kelly Wigglesworth who didn’t speak the whole show and Jenna Lewis who found out about her leaked sex tape live on air.
Adam is explaining how these people often look forward to events that won’t ever come, instead of posing for Playboy she thought she at the beginning of her career, he says Lou Bega was the only other person to give him that same look/reaction to their one hit wonder status.
“I don’t know the names of naked dudes” – Adam on Richard Hatch.
Adam is struggling to get Gary to find the name of Jerri, he’s trying to walk him through it, and she was on season 2.
Gary is now getting condescending to Adam saying that “Frizzy haired Survivor chick” doesn’t work, how about you just text GIO, he could solve this.
Adam is telling him to write “survivor bitch” and it’s the first result, she was from Season 2.
Adam is now saying that Jerri was the bitch from season 2, he is asking if she ever did Playboy forgetting that she posed after telling him she wouldn’t, she was an actress.
Adam is now back to striking while the iron is hot and how the part always ends, he is taking it back to the Ebola.com domain and how this person can only sell it now.
Gary gives Adam some vindication, she was the number one result for “survivor bitch”.
Adam is doing a live read for Reverie bed.
Alison is sneezing and Adam works it into the live read, she’s allergic to comfort and live reads done by a pro.
Adam wraps the show to BB playing the new “dick pic, pic pic pic” drop of him going off on a dick pic tangent while discussing the Jennie Garth Ace on the House episode.