09 Oct Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 10/08/2014 – Phillip Keene and Ray Oldhafer
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Phillip Keene and Ray Oldhafer
Recorded 10-07-2014 – Release Date 10-08-2014
Production Number #1427
Adam is now opening the show to a funny “Me-Bola” intro courtesy of Lynch and Dawson, Adam welcomes Ray to the studio after playing a recent YOLO #TopDrop.
Adam is explaining the contractors in the city are so bad, Ray is now in demand “like a dude with titties in the joint” and mocks men with breasts who are not in demand outside of prison but in prison they get to be popular rape victims.
Adam is bringing up the Richard Speck sex change in prison and commenting on it, Adam asks who you feel sorrier for Richard who’s dead or the black dude in the video admiring those fake titties who is now released from prison.
Ray steps on one of Adam’s jokes and he now laments having to grow up with people like Ray who shat on his comedy while he was growing up.
Adam comments on the 40 year old guy he saw wearing an ‘Evil Dead’ T-Shirt and jokes about the title being like a bad Japanese translation.
Adam wants to know what the fuck is up with Zombies, he’s seen the movie and loves ‘Army of Darkness’ he knows it’s not really about zombies.
Adam calls it “Big Z” and that zombies are now a part of culture and mocks people being so into zombies, Adam is bitching about the multiple TV shows about this subject and asking why people don’t get this out of their system by their 13th birthday.
Adam is now asking Caelan what he likes about ‘The Walking Dead’ and what he gets out of it, Adam wants to know if were not all like people in a waiting room, waiting to die.
They’re all trying to figure out the symbolism with zombies and what makes people scared, BB recommends ‘World War Z’ and Ray brings up ‘Omega man’ and Adam admits he liked that and the “remake” ‘I Am Legend’.
Ray comments on how he never had good teachers or counselors, Adam explains that Ray passed their English class and got a B despite never showing up, Adam was there every day and got a D.
Just the Tip
Ray is doing a live read for Maxxima Style
Ray reveals that ADam has over 560 LED light bulbs in his life, holy shit!
Ray steps on the intro music and BB critiques him, he reveals he’s doing it on purpose as he hates it.
Ray is telling them about magnetic tape, adhesive one side, magnetic on the other, Adam tells people to use the Amazon link and using that to tape to the bottom of your medicine cabinet and stick small metal items to it.
ADam is in fear the items will fall off when he shuts the door, Ray says you can do it on your front door for a keys.
Adam is trying to pronounce foyer.
They play the closer and ADam compliments it and Matt Fondiler’s work along with his lady, Alison tells them she has deiced that zombies represent aging, she says she was listening to the tip…
ADam laments the heat and the coming Fall season, if it’s still like this in October he’s going to kill himself by falling on a gourd, me too…
Adam asks Ray about their high school bench press record and if anyone ever beat him and his record, he says no.
Q and Ace
1st Caller – Noah, he wants to know how much Adam can bench press. Adma says probably nothing now but he can do 40 push-ups and Ray challenges him.
Adam says he can’t do them in front of Ray as he doesn’t count them right and then gives himself a super liberal metric for pulling one off.
Adam is mocking the “1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1” method counting and how annoying that is, Adam says the more annoying guy is the one who goes up one or two then keeps counting the same number critiquing your posture.
Ray is now getting Adam to do the pushups live in studio, you can see the video on AdamCarolla.com and via the show page link above. Adam brings up Ray grabbing guys man tits, the Louis C.K. incident!
Ray calls it a girl’s push-up and Dawson is adding his commentary too.
Adam is explaining you have to be built like a bottle jack to win a bench competition, it’s all about arm length, the longer the arms the harder it is to pull off.
Adam says the winners are always the guys who need help lifting the weight off the bar due to the distance.
Adam is now asking Noah about his bench press, he doesn’t like to brag so I won’t repeat his answer.
Adam says that bench pressing is one of the least valuable workouts in life, it’s a guy on guy thing, it has no monetary reward nor does it result in more pussy.
Ray asks about Noah’s regimen and Adam says fuck him and then moves on, after giving a super complimentary “not to his face” one liner.
2nd Caller Zoltan, he says he can explain ‘The Walking Dead’ to him and Adam calls him Kurt, he says the show is about the cruelty of humans and Adam says don’t we have the news for that, to be coached up on how shitty humans are.
BB has a killer let him finish one liner.
Adam thinks this is the same Zoltan he’s spoken to before and Adam is now talking about Hungarians and how complicated their language and culture is, they were talking about it today during ‘The Adam and Drew Show’ apparently, either episode 181, 182 or 183, we’ll see.
Adam and Ray are now talking about Adam’s late step grandpa Lotzi and how kind he was to Adam, they reference his Chicken Paprika and now Adam is explaining that Hungarian language sounds made up when you hear it.
Zoltan can’t speak it but does an impression of how it sounds.
Zoltan wants to know Adam’s favorite comedian who is not successful enough, he says Dana Gould and now they’re interrupting it to listen to Hungarians argue.
Adam says these Hungarians are too gypsy sounding, he wants more formal arguing in Hungarian and Gary is really earning his pay this episode.
Adam is now asking the rest of the gang about who they would pick as the comedian who deserves more success and to headline theaters.
BB brings up how accomplished Dana Gould is and how successful he is in comedy, Adam is trying to keep it in Zoltan’s context for tickets sold, not an entire career.
“It’s exactly the same, his assistant shot him” – Adam talking about Alison’s comparison between Russell Peters and Selena.
They’re all talking about Russell Peters and how he is able to be the biggest seller in comedy without being mobbed by paparazzi and Adam cites the cultural element to his success.
Adam wraps up with Zoltan and is now setting up the break.
Adam is doing a Draft Kings live read.
Phillip is now joining the show with a freshly purchased bottle of Mangria and he asks about the label saying “ready to drink” and Adam explains it.
Phillip references some past travel and the move they used to do when flying from Rio, he says he used to fly as a flight attendant/purser for ‘Pan Am’ and Adam asks him about when they went out of business, he names it perfectly off the top of his head.
Adam is asking Phillip up about the De-evolution of passengers flying on planes, BB brings up the luxurious coach section as he witnessed while watching ‘the out of Towner’s’ last week.
Adam wants to know what Phillip’s salad days were while working for Pan Am, he now lists off how fancy it once was.
Adam laments his trip to Detroit in 1st class where they didn’t even have entertainment screens, he says it was 6 years ago, nope.
Adam asks Phillip about his scariest moment while flying, they were half way across the Atlantic and two out of 4 engines flamed out en route.
Adam says he would feel good about turning around for engine failure, not for a guy beating off in the bathroom.
Adam is now asking Phillip about his show ‘Major Crimes’ a spinoff of the series ‘The Closer’ and Adam is asking him about being married to the creator of the show James Duff.
Adam is asking Phillip about getting married recently and Adam cites the story they did on this yesterday.
Adam shares his history with Eric Garcetti after Phillip tells them about him marrying them and appearing on the show he works on before that, Adam shares the story of the “if it steers it clears” light up traffic signs.
Adam is now asking Phillip about his work on the show, he’s going in depth and says he doesn’t understand the fascination for the post-apocalypse.
Adam gets more of Phillip’s journey between Los Angeles and Nicaragua, citing his work and relationship with Ozzie.
Adam jokes about the Mangria talking as Phillip makes some funny comments and mocks himself for being buzzed.
1st Story is an update on the Adrian Peterson story, a more in depot examination of his home life and Adam is now calling this a problem, the cultural “I’ll put my foot up your ass, I’ll bust a cap” Madea type shit.
Adam is now sharing the reasons he never had kids out of wedlock, he was selfish, this is a message that needs to be sent to the other communities.
Adam is now talking this to all humans, he doesn’t get how people can impregnate multiple women out of wedlock, Adam shares his “not again” thinking that would keep him from ejaculating in another woman without a condom.
Adam asks why the mom or woman would want that? Alison says it’s clearly he goes around having unprotected sex.
BB wants toi know if professional athletes factor this into their budget, ADam says he would agree with BB’s Howard Stern vs. the FCC analogy but all people do this, poor people do this just as much if not more.
Alison questions why they do this, is this a symbol of how virile they are?
Adam is now bringing up the lack of thinking toward the future that most people don’t do, Phillip has a wise point about parental responsibility and upbringing.
Adam says they were talking about his today during The Adam and Dr. Drew show today and he’s been saying this since Loveline in 1995, raise your kids and stick around.
Adam says the whole problem is rooted back to disenfranchised kids living without two parents and how they have no hope and you can’t expect them to achieve more.
ADam says this is the one main problem that all other problem spokes come from, this is the hub, and Adam is fully versed in his air travel references today.
Phillip brings up the eugenics program from bygone eras, Adam doesn’t like the slippery slope argument he’s presenting but he’s saying he still agrees.
Adma is now once again spelling things out, he is now sharing how they could screen for things like they do diseases, kids of broken homes and illegitimate parentage could be counseled and helped to avoid the same trap their parents got stuck in.
Alison has the dark details on Adrian’s charity and the orgy room he put on the charity credit card, and the rape charges that stemmed from the night of “ransacking” and now Adam jokes about not wanting to see A.P. turn the corner naked if you were in the same orgy, Adam asks him to go first, begs him.
Alison wraps the news.
Adam plugs the live show in San Antonio I’ll probably miss despite living in Texas now.
Adam does a live read for Blinds Galore with Matt Fondiler.
Hilarious let them know Adrian Peterson sent you joke, then he corrects the plug.
Adam is wrapping up the show with some plugs for Phillip and BB has a “shut up, be quiet, no one wants to hear what you have to say” drop from the opening of the show with Ray.