10 Oct Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 10/07/2015 – Shira Lazar, Live from Stand Up Live in Phoenix
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Shira Lazar, Live from Stand Up Live in Phoenix
Recorded 10-03-2015 – Release Date 10-07-2015
Production Number #1675
Adam has yet another pre-recorded intro, done before they left for the airport on the 2nd.
Adam gives out some plugs, he mentions Road Hard and some live dates.
Adam plugs some Mangria signings.
Adam does a SimpliSafe Live Read
Adam plugs Take a Knee and the Archive.
Adam is doing a Lifelock Live Read
Adam has a solid intro, he welcomes Shira Lazar to the show, and she’s approaching her 10th appearance, having guested on the show since 2010, with at least 5 visits now.
Adam talks about the game between AZ and UCLA he was watching before the show, Adam is riffing about their uniforms and now Adam is talking about college teams, He’s riffing about Sparky the Sun Devil being an evil entity, hilarious!
Adam is now getting to the commercials with “financial planning” and calls from your banker or money guy while you’re touring colleges with your kids and how fake they are.
Adam says the fakest commercial on the planet is the gum/breath min commercial where the ultra-hot guy and gal, Adam says ultra-hot people who just ate out a kitty box would get anyone to kiss them, Shira brings up nerds and hot chicks and Adam takes it back to his original point.
Adam’s on fire while talking about abandoned train stations and how he wouldn’t be looking for love in one, if he’s ever in one it’s some ‘The Warriors’ type shit and he does a funny variant on the “warriors come out and play” glass bottle scene.
Adam is mocking these commercials often taking place at abandoned train stations, Gary has one of these commercials and plays some of it.
Adam jokes about these commercial tropes that don’t exist.
Adam is commenting on a guy in the crowd with a 1% on his coat, Adam is joking about milk and has a funny “racist yanking on my titties” line from a Cow’s POV.
Adam is being told the 1% is an homage to his “cock size windbreaker” idea, Adam is now explaining it to Shira and jokes about putting something in her later, wow!
Adam is going over the idea beat by beat, the water displacement total volume test, Adam is telling Shira to hold on as he finishes up the explanation, getting to the true meaning and beauty of the idea.
Adam is joking about “free hats without brims” and what a bad sign that is, Adam is riffing about Caitlyn Jenner kicking BB’s ass in the cock size department.
Adam is adding a fancy jumpsuit for the #1 cock holder, Adam is sharing how this would raise morale among America.
Adam explains how everyone must wear their windbreaker for the month of July, Adam thinks it would be a better world.
Gina talks about some women having a “wide set Vagina” and misunderstands the ranking order, Adam talks about men only having pube trimming as a way to augment how their genital size appears.
Gina asks Adam about shaving his shaft, he tells her that’s an Armenian guy thing and it was very cute how she kindly pre-faced the question.
What Can’t Adam Complain About
1st WCACA Phil Rosenthal, Adam and BB are singing the praises of Phil Rosenthal, Adam talks about how upbeat he is and how he told Adam about having to put their dog down, he even got tearful, wow.
Adam talks about going to Phil’s house to watch ‘The Martian’ on Sunday after returning to Los Angeles.
Adam’s angle is that he’s so happy and living life so well he’ll only piss you off.
Adam has a funny moment recollecting a conversation between himself, August and Phil.
2nd WCACA Arizona, Adam is talking about the seeming lack of hobos in the state only to discover a guy with tasseled loafers, a homeless fashion show.
Adam talks about Gary sharing the description of “Homeless Park” and Adam jokes about post-apocalyptic films being shot in their state.
Adam is talking about the Uber driver who was pointing out cacti, Adam is talking about the things in Los Angeles you get to discuss with your driver, hilarious new gang comment.
Adam explains how he was told about the laws regarding shooting cacti, Adam is talking about relocating cacti and what a rough gig that is, funny “human pulse needle ejection” comedy.
Adam explains his move for moving cacti would be going to a frat house and telling a drunk guy that the cactus was talkin shit about him and his girlfriend’s pussy smell.
Adam talks about Gary going to school in Arizona, Adam quotes his hilarious “that didn’t stop us” line and now Adam is asking him about shooting plants, this is great.
3rd WCACA Sonny, he bugs Adam about the ringtone money and Adam brings up the “I’m hot but don’t know it” line, he explains how his son is like Leonardo DiCaprio in ‘Django Unchained’ sipping a mint julep and pitting black athletes against each other in hypothetical matchups, holy shit!
Adam is now sharing what he tells his son about doing school work and achieving things in life, Adam is asking Shira about having kids.
Adam is talking about women having “10’s” when it comes to reactions and how he has lots of 2’s and 3’s and Adam explains his son is wired like him, somewhere between Cheech and Chong and Terry Schiavo, Adam is so funny right now.
Adam is talking about the tutor for his kids, he talks about sniffing upon entering someone’s’ home, Adam says you must always sniff.
Adam jokes about his son watching Al Qaeda training videos for his entire tutoring session, he’s just dropping gold left and right, this is future album material.
Rotten or Fresh – The Rotten Tomatoes Game
Arizona Movies Edition
1st Movie ‘Raising Arizona’ (1987)
Adam tells the gang about meeting a couple at the Mangria signing who named their son Dutch based on Adam’s instructions, Adam jokes about seeing him at a gas station in 20 years.
Everyone guesses on the movie’s score.
2nd Movie ‘The Last Stand’ (2013)
Adam talks about old leading men dying their hair orange as they age, why dudes hair turn orange.
Adam jokes about people aging into Fizbo.
Adam is saying it’s anyone’s game with this one.
Adam has a killer “you bitch, you ruined my life!” delivery aimed at Shira.
3rd Movie ‘Revenge of the Nerds’ (1984)
Gina reveals her boyfriend was in the movie, he’s distinguished, he was one of the jocks, which Gina says of course he was.
Adam is now asking about the movie and the gay javelin thrower, Adam says he’s a flown blown racist and he was offended by that character.
Adam pulls the goalie, he says they’re roofie bottom now.
4th Movie ‘Night of the Lepus’ (1972)
Adam is killing it, he’s all over the place and doing hilarious crowd work that’s translating well.
Everyone guesses the score.
Adam jokes about simpatico being his gay bathroom code before his foot tapping.
5th Movie ‘National Lampoon’s Vacation’ (1983)
Adam recently re-watched it with his kids, it doesn’t hold up and Chevy never made a funny movie, not an actually funny one that holds up.
Adam has some work for Gary to do after they get the news on the 93% for vacation, BB has a funny “fuck yourself” line that Adam says is implied at all times.
Adam demands that two of Albert Brooks best films be at 105% to make things right.
BB takes the win.
Adam is now finding out that ‘Defending Your Life’ and ‘Lost in America’ are ranked higher, he can still sleep at night.
1st Story is on recent comment from someone in Parliament about meat eaters being treated like smokers, Adam is commenting on this being the national version of a hot chick who cuts on herself.
We’re creating our own problems, Adam is talking about humans and meat, and how we’re meant to consume it based on how we drool in response to hearing about it.
Adam is ranting about the antihuman contingent of humans living among us, who hate other people doing things and being happy.
Adam says you better hope we don’t lose our taste for innovation, beef and speed.
Adam is crushing this rant/riff.
2nd Story is on a porn website’s attempt at charity, Adam is asking why they have a small boobs category, why not treat yourself in fantasy, if not there then when?
Adam says there is nothing wrong with a modest chest but why not go big when watching internet porn.
3rd Story is on the Black Bun Whopper, for the United States this time.
Adam is talking about Halloween festivities starting while it’s 102 degrees outside, the advertisements and commercials about the holiday in early October are too early for him.
Adam wants to know why we need 3 weeks’ notice for Halloween candy and costumes.
Adam is now going off on the size range of gourds, he wants to know if pumpkins are the ruling king of the gourds.
Adam asks if we have that size discrepancy anywhere else in the world or nature.
Adam talks about giant squids and how they get his panties moist, after someone shouts out squid from the crowd.
Adam has a funny giant areola line while talking about the missing giant titty, Adam is asking about giant squid vs. whale battles and how we only have artist’s renditions, hilarious riff about a guy trying to draw a giant squid taking over a boat.
Adam is talking about fishermen being drunks and liars, we should stop believing them altogether.
Let’s stop looking at their charcoal rendering of fictional squids taking down tuna boats.
4th Story is on the record for alcohol poisoning cases at Oktoberfest this year.
Adam is doing a Castrol GTX Live Read
Adam is crushing this read, working in an audience member, mocking him and his love for driving.
Adam likes the idea of these things, he’s been kicked off a driving range, kicked off a go-kart track and he feels like alcohol poisoning is on his list, forgetting about his white wine drinking as a teen, the gravel face story.
Adam wraps up the news story with a funny riff, closing on Obama.
5th Story is on Gisele Bündchen’s new coffee table book, Adam riffs about her husband making less for having to throw a funny shaped ball to black people.
Adam talks about how smart Bill Belichick is, he’s commenting on how he picked a smaller white guy to fulfil a role traditionally filled by a larger man.
Adam comments on the racist genus if Belichick and Gina wraps the news.
Adam and BB are doing a Draft Kings Live Read
Adam gives out the plugs and wraps up the show with Shira Lazar.