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Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 10/07/2014 – Lisa Lampanelli

Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 10/07/2014 – Lisa Lampanelli

A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS

Guest Lisa Lampanelli

Recorded 10-06-2014 – Release Date 10-07-2014

Production Number #1426

Show Page

Adam thanks the fans for keeping him afloat for 5 ½ years and he says this thing exists because we listen and support him and the staff.

Dawson gives a couple takes of Lederhosen (Later-Hosen) and a new Düsseldorf (Dudeseldorf) too.

Adam wants one with a pet reindeer named rocky who was put down and has left him struggling to maintain his professionalism.

 

Adam says they say acting his hard and he doesn’t think so, Dawson brings up Adam’s take on germs and how he drank a stray leftover water to clear his throat.

Alison says the guy with flu symptoms telling her about not worrying about germs doesn’t convince her.

Adam is now bringing up the last time he was sick, during the first few days of shooting ‘Road Hard’ and cites the sewage problems at the club and says he blew his voice out and was sick for 10 days after that.

 

Adam says that you would be surprised when you remove the protection of sick days how often being sick doesn’t stop you from finishing your job and working.

Adam wants an update from BB’s health report and asks for it tomorrow, Adam would like him to update us.

Adam explains how different his twins are and how everyone should be forced to have boy and girl twins to learn about life and the genders, he dispels all ideological arguments about gender in a few sentences, he knows more than you do!

 

Adam is now giving his take on the “women aren’t funny” question and why he went with an answer to the question, he doesn’t like half assed wishy washy answers.

Adam brings up what “hams” his daughter and her friends are, trying to perform at all times, the guys are in the backyard shooting hoops all day long or running a circle.

Adam jokes about his son treating a camera snooping on his activities like Alec Baldwin, Adam says it’s the absence of pussy that keeps him from trying to perform and stand out.

Alison mentions Natalia and Adam rolls with it and jokes about ‘Taboo II’ and Adam says it’s all of the kids, he makes a point about men switch to performing once they develop an interest in pussy.

 

Alison now shares her theory/experience on how right around the time boys switch is when women switch and become less hammy to be attractive to boys, Adam says it evolved to physical things like Cheerleading.

Adam says they should ask Lisa Lampanelli about her experiences when she comes in to get another take on the topic.

Adam is now explaining how his son beat his friend in Wii soccer, BB is telling Adam to encourage it as he’s getting into the competitive nature of sports.

 

Adam says they have nightly soccer games and running meets with Lynette and the kids, he says Sonny often wins due to his pouting, he’s a pouter.

Adam explains they got an email from his teacher about his grades regarding a history test of some kind, the teacher was asking if the parents helped or not, Adam jokes about his own parents being given the inquisition regarding whether they helped him improve his test results or not.

Adam says it’s lose/lose like the scene in ‘The Town’ featuring them being witnessed by a cop who turned away, Adam is now talking to BB about the all access 24/7 world we now all in live in and Adam mocks the local town history about the Flintridge area and how it will benefit him in the future.

 

Adam is doing a live read for Audible.com and says he’s still listening to the Paul Newman biography.

Adam shares that is wife is listening to Rob Lowe’s book and Alison quizzing him on why he was not a fan of that, Adam says he’s decided to not hate Rob Lowe because he’s beautiful and now he’s discussing how pretty dudes often have their skills overshadowed by beauty just like women.

 

Adam is explaining what a further mensch Bryan Cranston is by telling him about using Bryan’s visage for the fake TV poster in his movie ‘Road Hard’ and Adam explains their composite computer poster they set up.

Adam is now sharing how Bryan sent in 35 photos and they are going to feature one of the website, Adam tells them about a conversation with Skip about their relationship and Adam realizes he does no favors for Bryan, he needs nothing from him.

Alison is now commenting on extending herself with people and instead of reciprocity she’s met with a one way street of good deeds with most people.

 

Adam jokes about stray cats taking your free milk and only coming back wanting more the next night, Adam says it’s his relationship with the government and cites his Mangria label hard time that the government then benefited off of after trying to make it impossible for him to sale said Mangria.

Albino asks how they had the photos taken, Adam says they hired a professional photographer and Adam says the hassle in doing things is not the time, it’s the remembering and stopping part, like doing 40 push-ups.

Adam is now taking it back to the ‘Real Time’ clip as played on the last episode, they’re now citing the 15 year old girl who was shot in the face and playing the clips again.

Adam once again does another lap on Ben Affleck being surrounded by nodding “yes men” and BB agrees or seems to in order to wrap up the conversation and get on to his movie review.

 

Adam is doing a live read for Stamps.com

 

Hooray for Baldywood

BB saw ‘Gone Girl’ and is giving his review of the latest Ben Affleck and David Fincher film, he gives the details of the cast and the competition at the box office.

BB talks about the months used as the “dumping grounds” for shitty movies, Adam says that’s why ‘Road Hard’ is coming out in February.

BB praises Tyler Perry and Adam is now saying that most people are pretty good actors when you give them good material and Alison mocks the Dudeseldorff and Lederhosen references from earlier in the show without being aware that Dawson did them originally on the KLSX show and how they originally came up.

 

BB is now asking about the book and if they read it, Alison didn’t much like BB’s book.

Adam says it might be an in-joke referencing the public perception of Ben Affleck and references the backlash to ‘Gigli’ and Adam is now clarifying his take on bad movies, anyone can make one.

Alison says Ben sold out when he fixed his teeth and references his ‘Chasing Amy’ teeth and now Adam is explain these guys used to be mortal and now you can’t compete as they have “fixed teeth” and BB references Tom Cruise’s dental work.

 

BB is hesitant to reveal the genre for the movie and Adam says they’ll all see it as it’s the only good thing out.

 

Q and Ace

1st Caller Skyler, he’s asking about the Margaret Cho Loveline from 1997, that I recovered and posted and then created the show that exists to post it on.

Adam is now explaining he was flattered that Margaret Cho was interested him, it has nothing to do with her physicality and had he been single he would’ve made the move, he thinks the show appearance was before the first hookup attempt.

Adam is now clarifying he didn’t mean to ever say anything derogatory about her physicality

We’re now 100% on listeners to CLL not mentioning me when calling into the show, fuck you!

 

Adam is doing a Reverie Bed live read.

Adam is now going to break.

 

They’re back form break

Lisa Lampanelli is returning to the show for her 8th visit and Adam is riffing on the message from the listener and caller about pissing on your own lawn and how freeing that is.

Adam is now plugging Lisa’s website and BB jokes about checking out the site just to see her physical transformation.

Adam is asking her about her weight loss and she calls herself a “tasty piece of ass” and brags about an employed guy finally hitting on her.

 

Lisa reveal she got a divorce from Jimmy Big Balls, Lisa reveals how the marriage ended and why, whoa!

Adam is asking Lisa about her goals for her next relationship, she says she’s too skinny for black dudes now and Adam jokes about ‘Widescreen TV’ with BB who as a killer ‘Vizio’ one liner.

Adam says he thinks this is good, Lisa doesn’t need Mr. Olympia nor a young dude, she could find a great personality holding bald spotted troll like dude.

 

Adam is now having another revelation related to gender identity and the choices and options of men and women, Adam says that maybe the joke is on the middle aged guy who chooses looks over a deeper relationship, Adam keeps referencing George Clooney’s ex, ex-wrestler GF.

Lisa talks about all of her retreats and therapy since she was last on the show in 2013 and she has a killer Indian joke and Adam has a great ‘that’s not funny reply.

Adam is asking Lisa about her switchover from child to teen and what it did to her, referencing their earlier conversation at the top of the show.

 

Adam now brings up how he sees Lisa the same way he sees Jeff Ross and cites his thin skin, Lisa says she’s an insult comic who can’t take an insult or joke.

She says the roast was different, she is now sharing how she stopped reading tweets after her weight loss surgery and Adam is now asking her if there is a way for her to… in between asking he makes a great “tunneled out of fat camp” joke.

Adam now credits her surgery and she says it was the only way to lose the weight, she had been trying for over 30 years and didn’t want to be a fat cunt anymore.

 

Adam is now having Lisa give an in-depth explanation of the procedure and BB is now commenting on losing 65lbs and how he notices his ass would get sore more often, she says she’s noticed that too and beats Adam to the anal sex joke.

She tells them about appearing on Dr. Oz and mentions her smaller poop, she gets a “yeah” in response from BB, she assumes he also had the surgery and he rolls with it.

Lisa tells Adam the surgery was 16k, which isn’t that bad.

 

Adam says that’s the best good news/bad news after Lisa references Marie Osmond and he says that being offered to lose 21lbs and get paid 500k for doing it with Nutrisystem.

Adam is now asking about at what point you view yourself as “fixed” and she says that it had to be her full time job, she was dealing with the weight loss, her father’s death and a divorce, and she says she’s approaching a life of gratitude instead of being angry.

Alison wants to know how you get to that point, how to live in gratitude.

 

Adam jokes about Lisa’s empty belly, wanting to know if she can still get fired up, Lisa explains how her standing ovations vanished then returned as she got right with herself and moved through the process of healing.

Adam addresses the pressure on comics to move onto other pastures that don’t necessarily have anything to do with comedy, Lisa says it’s possible she retires and moves onto charity before she would go for a sitcom.

Adam says he’s perfectly content with his position and how people always think you are struggling to move up in the world, Adam says he only feels bad when other people bring up his former partners and their success, he has some very kind words for Jimmy.

 

Adam brings up the ‘Dr. Drew has two TV shows, you have none, how does that make you feel?” incident when he was being interviewed by a big newspaper for an article on Dr. Drew while Adam was taping ‘Dancing With the Stars’ and Lisa comments on people accusing her of moving towards lesbianism.

Adam is now riffing a “are you into cock” reply with BB, Adam is now taking an appropriate amount of time  to make fun of the people saying that Lisa replies too quickly saying no to lesbianism, like she’s hiding something.

Lisa is now sharing her desperation in wanting to guest on DWTS and she says they blamed her doing ‘The Apprentice’ and she cites Adam doing them in the reverse order.

 

Lisa references Mike Catherwood being on the show and Jeffery Ross and Adam is now saying that if you approach DWTS they don’t want you, they want the people they think of casting.

BB plays the Carl Weathers drop from the KLSX Adam Carolla Show and BB goes off on the fan who claimed that was Jesse Ventura, he doesn’t share any other details.

Adam mentions his good buddy Philip the Juggler who dies last year, citing his early onset dementia and how crazy it was to see him like that.

 

Adam is now back to the way Philip would lament his lack of a Hollywood career, Adam would always tell Phillip he hadn’t worked a regular shitty job in 25 years, he totally succeeded and beat the odds as a performer.

Adam jokes about proof reading, saying he had to prove he could read and following the words with his fingers, Lisa has some more compliments and she says how she used to compare herself to Chelsea Handler all the time until she learned more about her past and walked in her metaphorical shoes.

Adam is now saying you are who you are and you can polish your true self with a haircut and a car but that’s about it.

 

Adam is telling Lisa about taping his “OTF” segments for ‘Catch a Contractor’ and he brings up the trucks driving through the neighborhoods, the super junky poor guy trucks where he stops and mocks them “I’ll bet you think that guy has no problems” irony.

Adam is now realizing that he’s kidding about it, he’s not kidding about it and he bets Ellen is miserable right now, truck guy ain’t doing so badly.

Adam is doing a Draft Kings live read.

 

Alison’s News

1st Story is on the Supreme Court clearing the way by rejecting the 5 state appeals on the bans, Adam is sharing how he missed the news while stuck in Gardena, not the most gay friendly area.

Alison says this makes gay marriage legal in 30+ states and Adam is as happy as Lisa, she jokes about outlawing gay divorce and Alison lists the states affected by this ruling.

Adam says legalize everything and we can move on with everything, Adam brings up his mom’s pot plant that was stolen by Hameed, stolen by the roots.

 

Adam calls back his mom, Zorback, Happy and Axis sitting around discussing the legalization of Marijuana 30 years ago and he says it’s time to get on with our lives.

Adam is joking about the name “Blaine Van Der Sloot” being the prototypical rich guy name, Lisa brings up ‘Mystic Pizza’ and Alison wants to know what happened to Annabeth Gish, she did a bunch of great indies in the 90’s, 2 seasons on ‘The X Files’ and has starred in ‘Brothers’ and ‘The Bridge’ and Lisa references Legally Blonde 2.

Adam remember his director Charles Herman-Wurmfeld, BB observes the last movie was Adam’s, Adam ended his career according to a laughing BB.

 

Alison references the last time Adam called someone ‘Van Der Sloot’ and makes the connection between both episodes and the early comments form this episode.

Adam mocks the idea of him as a homophobe, hiring a gay man to direct his movie and he jokes about him now being able to get married.

Alison asks a smart question about why Lisa can get away with her comedy but Adam says the same stuff and everyone is up in arms.

 

2nd Story Is on the death of Paul from ‘Paul Revere and The Raiders’ and they play some other music and comment on the desire of all 1970’s musicians to be part Native American and how it was a hipster cred thing of the era.

Lisa brings up ‘Gary Puckett & The Union Gap’ seemingly unaware of the 2007 KLSX riff about him and his songs, “pedophile rock” as Adam dumbed it.

In 2007 Adam sung almost every song on air as they all mocked them and Adam was able to get a reprieve from Danny talking nonstop about some shit he made up like a moron liar.

 

Adam and Lisa are now riffing on the song ‘Young Girl’ and BB is now firing it up, Adam is busting out the opening bars, he jokes about the lyrics getting twisted later in the song.

Adam is now singing along again and changing the lyrics about the young gal being trapped in a van.

Lisa wishes that Gary would die too, Alison mixes up what she meant.

 

Now they’re playing more of Paul Revere and Adam explains how it was a “Pre-Rambling era” the play ‘Kicks’ and some other tracks as Adam gets a full list of his hits.

BB says they talked to him on the morning show, nope! The made fun of him for months, he never guested unless he made an uncredited phoner that I’ve forgotten.

 

3rd Story is on a nurse in Spain who was the first person to catch Ebola without being present to someone who is suffering from the disease.

Adam says we’re not going to get Ebola, Alison and Lisa both agree and now Alison says she doesn’t have the fear for the disease and Adam says he thinks the news, is now the “news that cried wolf” and nobody even listens anymore.

Adam talks about an upcoming gig and Lisa is now asking if Adam is still doing that weird “I sold out all the shows so I added more” way of live touring, he says that was all Mike August and laments his brutal schedule.

 

Adam is now asking Gary to fire up the picture of the Mangria signing from last year and the follow up visit to Hooters when he got home.

Adam is bitching about people scheduling him so he works 24/7 always, Gary hasn’t found the photo yet, and Alison wraps the news.

 

Adam is now doing a Nature Box live read.

 

Adam is now wrapping up the show with some plugs for Lisa after he tells Gary to look up the photos, he cites that as the event where Mike August lost the SD card with all of the photos.

They’re now looking at the video Mike took that shows the insane line for his Mangria signing, he compliments the fans but laments the process.

BB closes it out with a new #BottomDrop of Alison shouting about the staff “snatching her box” during the nature box live read, lazy BB!