Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 09/29/2014 – Robert Patrick

Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 09/29/2014 – Robert Patrick

A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS

Guest Robert Patrick

Recorded 09-28-2014 – Release Date 09-29-2014

Production Number #1420

Show Page

Adam opens the show to a great “would never salute a solider with a latte in his hand” intro courtesy of Dawson and Lynch.

Adam plugs some live shows and the Mangria re-launch, BB has a great ‘Elliot Gould’ #TopDrop to mock his refusal to sport a joyous grin in the billboard for the new show ‘Mulaney’ and Adam refuses to do BB and disagree.

Adam says he will do him after BB has a killer delivery telling him to do the same, Adam is explain how right BB is and says it looks like Elliot is mocking them.


Adam is now riffing with the Elliot Gould drops courtesy of BB’s 360 skills, Adam is setting up the drops with perfect comments and countering with hilarious replies.

Adam is the cameraman asking him for a big smile and he just keeps refusing to go along with the shoot.

Alison has a few solid reactions to the extreme riffing going on.


“Yes, Always, Yes, Correct!” – Adam replying to the drops of Elliot from the infamous ACS #1024 and Adam has like 2 more laps and mixes up John Mulaney’s name, Alison explains who he is as BB keeps the drops going much to Adam’s delight.

Adam is now asking BB for his assessment for Elliot Gould and what he was doing during the shoot, BB says he was driving and thought “that’s Elliot on our show in billboard version.”

Alison is now sharing a story of a man riding completely naked on a bicycle, Alison refused to check out his dong and describes the scene, killer “bow and arrow” one liner from Alison that everyone misses, holy shit that’s hilarious!


Adam has a great “ask the kid” comment and BB has an equally solid retort, Adam is now joking about a rapper called ‘Sizzle Tread’ who was run over multiple times, you can only survive  that 1 ½ times.

Adam is joking about Garret Morris being shot and black people being generally more durable, Adam brings up the bent scissors and how that’s never a good sign, “scissors that are bent, bad times!” – Adam

Adam is now bringing up the aggressive cyclists who act with impunity towards motorists, antagonizing them, Adam compares it to pepper spray vs. a semi-automatic gun.


Adam brings up the hood slappers and how maybe the guy who you are aggressing on is having the worst day of his life and could snap, be careful cyclists.

Adam brings up the cyclists taking up both lanes of victory Blvd. and his resistance to honk nor drive through them, Adam never wants to break stride, he says he pulled out into the open other lane that would normally be oncoming traffic, he was met with “Fuck You!” and Alison wants to know what their intent was.

Adam explains the “Obey our will” message they were sending, Adam defied them and was being super courteous but refused to drop and give them 20, Adam thinks that all cyclists would be in a Jag if they could afford one.


Q and Ace

1st Caller Vincent, BB has a killer “Yeeeh!” drop of Adam, I think Alison or BB stifles a laugh.

Vincent wants to know what Story Adam would tell at Jimmy’s funeral and what story Jimmy would tell at Adam’s to define, screw you Vince, Adam will never die, NOOOOOOOOO!

Adam is now describing the new home Jimmy is building for his family, he brings up the barn he’s building and Alison mocks BB’s question about it being for grains.

Adam explains how Jimmy wants to have chickens and grow his own fruits and veggies and told Adam about his plan for Christmas dinner.


Adam is once again explaining how Jimmy simply makes connections between all of the people he knows, Adam says his whole thing is putting people together and cites the annual Kimmel Christmas eve “fish fry” and Adam is now explaining how he pet Jimmy’s new kid and didn’t think to nor was requested to ‘Purell’ first.

Adam jokes about Jimmy setting him up with someone sexually, Adam says Jimmy does what he wants to do and gets things done.

Adam brings up the behind the scenes set visit they did for season 2 of ‘The Man Show’ for an entertainment news program.


Adam shares the “I’m surprised it took this long!” reply to the reporter who asked for his reaction to their success that differs greatly from Adam’s.

The caller asks for Dawson to quote something and Adam shares how BB was missed at his housewarming party.

Gary also attended, for another take on the whole party see the most recent For Crying Out Loud from L.A. podfest.

Dawson is now reading the lines from the beginning of ‘Nights in White Satin”


2nd Caller Christopher brings up the recent ‘Real Time” where Bill Maher interviewed Colin Powell echoed Adam’s “Education and Family” theory on minority groups (really all people) succeeding in society.

Adam has a quit the soda weight loss vs. thyroid problem analogy for how people can get by, he uses weight loss to mimic the economic model and take the emotion out of it.

Adam is now quizzing BB about his weight loss and BB is backing him up and embracing the metaphor.


Adam explains this doesn’t make him feel good, it’s like Gravity, if Colin dropped and apple and it hit the ground, it’s the law of nature.

Alison says that Christopher says Colin Powell just like Bill Clinton does and Adam gets him to do it, nice work A-Rose!


Adam is now doing a live read for Hulu Plus and plugs ‘Scorpion’.


3rd Caller Zoltan, he brings up Adam’s list of things he wants to do before he dies, Zoltan brings up the take a few punches in a fight and then smile at the blood you wipe away, BB and Adam flesh it out.

Zoltan brings up Adam’s motto for the year, he cites the gratitude theme and mixes it up with “Everyone else needs to get their shit together” and explains he then remembered that and was bothered by mixing up things that happened in the previous year and realizing the speed at which time seems to pass.

Adam says his message to everyone over 25 is to get super high to slow things down.



4th Caller John, he brings up the Bill Simmons suspension and wants to know if Cousin Sal can start coming on the ACS to share his “lines” like he did on the show.

Adam says no, Adam is bringing up how this suspension for Bill is with and without pay, one week is at least unpaid time off.

Adam explains that Cousin Sal doesn’t want to piss anyone off and can’t come on the show to mimic that, BB brings up how much he loves the lines they pick on the show.


Alison says she read an assessment of what he said and why he was in trouble, Alison says it wasn’t the comments, it was that he had dared ESPN to mess with him.

Adam is now sharing his take that the statement alone kinda proves maybe be knows more about the house he works in than we do.

Adam is now sharing an innocuous “dare you to suspend me” and uses that reverse logic top prove that analysis Alison read is flawed.


Alison references Dameshek after Adam brings up the throwback uniform example.

Adam heads to break.


They’re back from break.

Robert is making his ACS debut, it’s unclear if he ever guested on air with Adam Carolla, he was the original Garrett Dillahunt to Ace aka “Deputy in No Country For Old Men” and Adam would praise him and his work in T2 and almost begged his brother from the band ‘Filter’ to help get him on Loveline.

Adam is now praising the show ‘Scorpion’ and explains how he went out to dinner with Walter O’Brien and Robert observes that they hit it off.

Robert comments on his feelings about his own IQ and working with Robert, Adam brings up their conversation over dinner about the average salary for a formula one driver and gets down to the minutia about the fractions of a second that separate a multimillion dollar paying job to 50k dollar paying one.

Adam is now talking about Robert’s 4-7-40 and his upbringing along with the Brian Piccolo references, asking if they went to the same school, BB has a funny one liner about Robert’s athleticism and playing the role of ‘Peter Pan’.

Robert is sharing how he moved to Los Angeles in 1984, working in Roger Corman movies until he auditioned for ‘T2’ in 1989, they shot it in 1990.

Adam is now praising ‘T2’ and the concept of the film, how smart the twist was, BB now says they can spend the rest of the episode talking about ‘T2’ and they fucking better!


Robert is praising the original ‘Terminator’ and how the low budget helped keep it scary, Robert tells them about the 90 million dollar budget and the old fashioned stunts in the film, including the wire motorcycle stunt with the Harley jumping into the L.A. River.

Robert brings up how Arnold was able to manipulate that gun and Robert proposes a meeting between Walter O’Brien and James Cameron and Adam is singing his praises as a genius and how he could have done anything in life but chose film.

Adam asks Robert about working for James and asks how he approached the role, he says he treated it like he was in the military.


Adam is now asking if James is a perfectionist and Robert spells it all out and explains the perfection that James seeks for his films, that’s why they come out so different than anyone else’s.

Adam has a “that goes on forever” and tells Adam about his 17year old daughter and 14 year old son recently seeing the movie for the first time while attending a screening at the Arclight theater.

Adam is now trying to pinpoint what made Robert’s character great in the movie and cites Javier Bardem’s character from ‘No Country For Old men’ and cites how Robert played the role perfectly.


Adam is now arguing that the Shark from ‘Jaws’, the Xenomorph from ‘Alien’ and Arnold and Robert in the ‘Terminator’ movies as the scariest predators in cinema, Robert explains how they actually did a lot of “shark work” for the character, it’s strange Adam picked up on that without knowing it.

Adam is now asking Robert about ‘Scorpion’ and what’s going on with the show, Adam is now praising it and says he never watches those 1 hour drama shows but this one stood out from the format, Robert says it’s not a procedural and has its own tone/genre.

Robert tells them about the family entertainment element of the show and Adam says in a world of violence in TV and problem solving, it’s nice to see people use their brains.


Adam brings up seeing Nick Santora at his house last night and Alison shares the anecdote she was told about the one drink he was allowed at the party.

Adam explains how Nick Santora first met Adam Carolla, Alison didn’t know this history and Adam explains how Nick finds people and creates things, the analogue of the guys in Hollywood who want to fuck everybody, the Gerard Butler’s of the world who call up and order ‘Flo’ (Stephanie Courtney) from the progressive commercials to come fuck them, Nick contacts people and creates.

Adam is now asking Robert about his character on ‘The Sopranos’ and Adam is now recalling Robert’s role and he’s breaking down the poker game scene.


Robert explains how he was a lightweight at the time of filming ‘The Sopranos’ as he was working on ‘All the Pretty Horses’ at the same time, he goes in depth on working with James Gandolfini and shares some cool on set anecdotes about their fight scene.

BB is now asking him about his work after Terminator 2 and asks if he didn’t work much after that, he didn’t work again until ‘Fire in the Sky’ and Adam says that was an interesting point that BB brought up and jokes about us marking out calendars as it’s so rare.

Adam is now comparing and contrasting Robert’s role in ‘T2’ vs. Steve Carell in his breakout role in ‘The 490 Year Old Virgin’ and how unfair it is that a role like Robert’s doesn’t translate.


Robert is telling them about his audition for ‘Fire in the Sky’ and why he did accept some cameo roles, including in ‘Wayne’s World’ and Robert is now asking Alison if she is enjoying this conversation, she insists she is.

Adam is now plugging ‘Scorpion’.


Adam is doing a Draft Kings live read.


Alison’s News

“Hope it’s about the Terminator” – Adam

1st Story is on the George Clooney wedding, and Adam riffs about his wife’s name being the worst name for telling a cop when drunk, Alison tries to help Adam pronounce her name.

Alison reads the impressive guest list and Adam jokes about just running into some of these people and not being told about the wedding, he says maybe Jimmy thought he would break in and steal prescription drugs from their homes.

Alison brings Robert into the mix and he shares how he did work on the movie ‘The Men Who Stare at Goats’ with George but didn’t get an invite.

Adam is now joking about Amal Alamuddin some more and her dad “Jamal” and jokes about it more, hilarious delivery, Ace Award 2014.


Adam is now asking if they think her parents tried to act like they weren’t aware of his career and Adam jokes about Talia Balsam marrying a fictional guy names “nougat” and Alison addresses the gay rumors about George Clooney.

Adam is now addressing the number of gay guys who will claim that people are gay and just keep insisting, Alison shares the recent John Travolta remarks where he said the same accusations could be made about anyone.

Adam is now explaining how he could be convinced he’s gay by said gay guy, he’s now riffing about telling Lynette about his new lifestyle, two beers in his system and he would go along with it.

“Common knowledge, common knowledge, oh come on!” – Adam


Adam has a great “Gandolfini was gay” riff and now once again says he never heard that about Clooney and BB has a killer one liner.

Adam is now asking that doesn’t being with a bevy of hot chicks and not marrying make you straighter.


BB shares his insider tip about Clooney being gay, Adam is now joking about his wife Amal’s name some more and Alison is helping the joke by reading/saying the name over again.

Adam is now asking what human rights attorneys actually do? BB is now riffing about it and tells Adam to ask ‘Ozzie’ and now Adam jokes about forcing George and his wife to breed.


2nd Story Is on Chelsea Clinton giving birth to her first child, Adam is now sharing his theory on Michelle Obama and Chelsea Clinton both getting on the same page and going out with their real hair, give up the wasted hour and effort to augment and create a new standard of beauty.

Alison is now asking if Adam has opinions about his wife’s hair and Adam is now bringing up aesthetic and jokes about minivans not being the same as a sports car.

Alison now brings up Adam’s boner hypocrisy factor with his theory for this campaign.


Alison shares how the ‘Millionaire Matchmaker’ is always telling women to straighten their hair to find a husband.

Alison is now asking what it would take for all women to give up the hair care regimens, Alison now cites some other lady podcasters.

Adam says Oprah has to be part of the movement, Adam now says it just so happens that the two most powerful women on earth are black, Adam jokes about it being inconvenient and “rolling with the hand your dealt with, no matter how unpleasant.”


Adam is now joking about Chelsea Clinton possibly not being Hilary’s daughter as Bill spread so much seed, Alison has a great reply as she tries to not condescend but explain to Adam why it’s impossible, protecting the false reality of the riff, very funny.

Adam is now going in depth with how this campaign could save lives and now makes it serious as Alison says she has worked somewhere that didn’t allow women on air with curly hair.
Adam brings up the wasted work week women spend every 2 months or so just making their hair looks unnatural and Adam is now saying that women spending time on their own shit puts them at a huge disadvantage to men.

Robert is losing it while Adam mocks the looks of Nick Santora and Robert agrees with him.

Alison now says we should find the most productive woman and follow her rule of thumb for daily haircare.

Alison now wraps the news.


Alison brings up women who get their hair chemically straightened, she wants to know what she should do and Adam says #LetItDry is how to let people know about the campaign.

He invites Robert back and leaves the implication they’ve met before, hmmmm?

BB wraps the show with the drop of Robert impersonating James Gandolfini asking about his balls during their fight scene.