04 Oct Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 09/26/2014 – Adam Ray
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Adam Ray
Recorded 09-25-2014 – Release Date 09-26-2014
Production Number #1419
Adam is opening the show with a plug for the upcoming live podcast in San Antonio, he says they will “kiss the hands and shake the babies” his variant on glad-handing.
BB brings up the “Free Bill Simmons” campaign and plays the typing drop, Adam teases something but doesn’t give any info.
Alison is now lamenting Matt D’andria’s ass messing with her seat, Adam says he has a potent ass.
Adam says his day of 3 podcast recordings is light lifting for him, Alison is now commenting on how someone on the west coast tweeted about a chill finally be in the air this year.
Adam is lamenting the heat, BB plays “The Heat Is On” and Adam is now bringing up his ‘Catch a Contractor” locations, 90% of them have an “ugh” after their name.
Alison jokes about this giving a heads up to the contractors, but Adam has already filmed at these locations, so no worries.
Adam is teasing the live shows in Portland and Seattle, BB thinks that August is scheduling the live shows around good food and beer, Adam says August just needs free and quantity, not good like BB and his tastes.
Adam Ray is coming into the show, Adam calls him an impressive guy and says he’s funny, he is.
Adam has a new timely and topical Rich Banks song to debut.
‘David Alan Grier is in her head’ (Big Black Dong) – themed around Alison’s jungle fever dreams, Adam asks if Lynch helped out and Gary says it was all Rich Banks.
Adam is now asking Alison how Daniel was with her fantasies and them being brought up on air, she says there is weird tension right now and doesn’t want to bring it up.
Adam is now bringing up the “tire kicking” and “canary in the coalmine” or “Trial Balloons” that everyone uses to check in on their relationship status.
BB says he will call it out immediately and Christie does the same thing, Adam is explaining this is a little different, you might have said or done something.
Adam is now breaking down the hinting around the thing you may or may not have done, he says it’s like telling the cop about the beers in the backseat before he’s discovered them, he might not if you keep your mouth shut.
BB is sharing how he did this move while Christie was proofing his early chapters of his book Shrinkage: Manhood, Marriage, and the Tumor That Tried to Kill Me.
Alison asks Adam about his best “feeler outer questions” and he says seeing how chatty your spouse is about the kids is a good tell, BB plays a drop from Jim Jeffries “So, how’s school?” from his last visit.
Alison is now asking Adam how he would feel about the same scenario, hot black man fantasies.
Adam brings up the “less history/more mystery” way of approaching life and relationships, he calls it a Youngman’s game and says you might as well put a gun in your mouth now.
Adam and BB are now joking about Alison’s deep profound feelings for DAG and Adam references her “”supercharged vagina”
“Shit-talk all your loved ones?” – Alison taking Adam’s advice and asking him about his 20+ years of this stuff.
Alison didn’t even think of the “guy at work” factor and jokes about it being an auditory cuckolding, oh my god that makes it worse.
Adam is now saying that if he pictured his friends, loved ones or whomever he talks about intently listening to his show, it would stifle him, he can’t be honest and it would insanely alter his work, much like trying to honestly discuss your mom with your passenger in your car while your mom sits in the backseat.
Adam is now riffing up Alison’s fantasy drive with DAG and Adam mocks her for not letting a black person drive, Adam now paints a terrifying scene for Alison in a car with DAG and her mom and this dream topic.
“He fell in love with me because I love DAG!” – Alison
Adam jokes about his racial humor and why he can fire off with it, he doesn’t hate anyone and finds racism to be silly and preposterous, therefore it can be mocked and by him, as he doesn’t have hate in his heart.
Alison and Adam explain that she wouldn’t be talking about this if she felt it was in anyway a threat to her marriage she wouldn’t bring it up, good for this case, yikes for the future.
Adam jokes about their off air conversations with Alison and the DAG fantasies.
BB and Adam are now doing a Draft Kings live read.
Blah, Blah Blog
1st Blog – Roseanne Barr, Margaret Cho or Todd Glass?
Adam is now bringing up the Todd Glass benefit and how he did it without knowing the guy, he had a heart attack after smoking marijuana at a comedy club and not having proper insurance, so then other people had to raise money for his bills, Adam performed.
Todd was also given 8 segments on the 2008 Adam Carolla Show, a feat only topped by one guest Mike Rowe also in 2008.
Alison wants to know how Adam knows that Todd talks shit about him constantly, Adam can’t come up with a source, but he just can’t remember, Todd was running up and down the aisles at Montreal when Andy Kindler gave his hate speech about Adam Carolla after bombing on the show in front of two different live crowds in two different parts of Los Angeles.
Alison is quizzing him still, he is saying he thinks he said as much on this podcast the last time he guested, yes.
Also Todd badmouths Adam on his own podcast and every other show that will have him, even sometimes leaving out Adam’s name and just talking about him and hinting.
Alison on rare occasion has guests on her show who come into Adam’s studio, whose names Adam has to then say and promote who have said some of the most abhorrent and hateful things ever said about him anywhere on earth besides message board devoted to him.
Adam addresses Todd’s resistance to the word ‘Retard’ and is now asking if Joan Rivers was held back by our society, BB is weighing in and also takes Alison’s guess of Margaret Cho, Adam wins it with Roseanne.
2nd Blog – “Jesus Fuck Edition” Russell Brand, Michael Stipe or Thom Yorke?
Adam now addresses the points from the blog, the notion of the United States as the earth’s parent, he asks if there is another nation with lower self-esteem than us.
Adam is now saying it’s an ultimate elitism to assume and presume that any other functioning adult can get their shit together, Adam is now asking these other nations to do some self-reflection on a therapists couch and put some hours in doing actual work to improve where they live instead of ethnic cleansing.
Adam wants to know why we became a catchall for foreigners who want to come here to preach about the lack of things America does to fix the world.
Adam says he likes Russell but liked him more 3 years ago, obviously forgetting the Perrier water incident from Seattle, the Moore Theater story as we were told by a venue staffer.
Adam is now bringing up how if only 10% of people were devoted to chaos in the united states we couldn’t stop it, much like other countries, yes the majority of everything all the time is good, the percentage that isn’t ruins things, Adam addresses the obvious point of “yes not all Islam, not even most” and they move on.
3rd Blog – Sarah Michelle Gellar, Jamie Lynn Sigler or Mayim Bialik? Someone (Adam?) has a super gross swallow noise right into the mic.
They’re talking about Tussin vs. Pertussis and Whooping or hooping cough pronunciations.
BB jokes about SMG getting someone laughed out of the room for being a spokesperson for Pertussis.
4th Blog – Neil Young, Clay Aiken or Alicia Keys?
Adam weighs in on all of the people, he expresses that he likes Alicia Keys.
They’re now doing a final round and BB makes it ‘Winner Takes All’ and Alison agrees.
5th Blog – Seth MacFarlane, Barbara Streisand or Bill Maher?
“Shouldn’t the Pope be for the apocalypse?” edition
Adam interrupts the names to bring up an “It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature” fake butter commercial from his youth.
Adam explains that Seth is busy working on ‘Ted 2’ and BB is now shitting on Adam’s point about Seth being too busy to write this, he then retracts it, did Adam give him the look?
Adam is now going with Babs, BB agrees and jumps on the “winners” train, gold!
Adam is doing a live read for Blue Apron
Adam talks about seeing Alison’s box and they riff about her violated box that everyone on staff takes home for a turn.
Adam is now heading to break as they find the Parkay commercial he was referencing from his childhood, Adam describes it and now they play it.
Adam says that he misses the days of the jingle and cites a ‘Man Show’ fake commercial that was for a chronic masturbator targeted deodorant line, they had a fake “By Mennen” jingle at the end, a sound-alike.
Q and Ace
1st Caller Johnny, he wants to get some reassurance form Adam about taking a drug test for work, he’s explaining how he got an inventory job and they want him to take a drug test.
Adam is now giving his thoughts, airline pilots and school bus drivers, they should be tested when safety is a primary concern.
Adam is now interrupting to let the Man Show Deodorant commercial.
By Man Show!
They all way in on the bit and how Adam whipped his hair out of the way after taking his motorcycle helmet off, Adam says he never sees the old bit as he doesn’t have the DVD’s nor does he ever see it on TV.
Adam is now making a point about being a decade removed from your former work can allow you to appreciate it, so it works for ‘The Man Show” but not ‘Loveline’?
Adam is now doing a “man or a woman” bit about drug testing and now getting to sensitivity training, he finds that more egregious, he says he would apply that and drug testing to people who have a history of these things.
Adam says what we’re doing now is taking everyone and grouping them into the same category, he brings up his Sonny who will have to sit for two hours on how to respect women when he gets his first job at 26?
Adam is now using DUI and alcohol awareness classes and how that should only apply to those who have a history, not people like his father who doesn’t drink.
Adam is now riffing about his buddy Ozzie, great buzzie, buzzy, buddy, drinking buzzy riff after Adam misspeaks mid rant.
Adam is now arguing against indoctrinating people into a system, Dawson brings up the world of radio and how nobody is ever drug tested when working in radio, Adam brings up how Cocaine and Booze are quickly out of your system.
Adam says the least dangerous and nefarious drug is the one that gets you busted, it’s all about weeding out stoners, the least in the sin department and perhaps the drug you would want your staff using if they chose to use a drug in their free time.
Adam is lamenting TSA rules and BB makes a point about not wanting to offend a certain group and requiring everyone to experience the same testing and classes, Adam is now bringing up the 2006 Asian Community controversy on the ACS, great Fake Jack Silver from BB.
Adam is now asking about the percentages of lawsuits about harassment and how they’ve only gone up since introducing these classes and training.
Adam is now bringing up a buddy who said “looking good” to an overweight woman who worked on the set, Adam says that she never had a compliment about her physicality in her 26 years on earth, so she was going to make rock soup out of it.
Adam is now further explaining how they had to have a sit-down meeting about it so this woman could say she was sexually harassed so on paper, someone at some point showed interest in her.
Adam wraps up and heads to break.
They’re back form Break with Adam Ray returning to the show.
Adam plugs some dates for Adam Ray, he plugs the podcast too.
Adam is now asking Adam about Brad Williams taking a radio job, he’s now working on Live 105 in San Francisco, he has a 5am shift and Adam argues about comedy not working at 610am.
Adam says like Brisket you can’t enjoy nor serve up comedy at 6am, Adam Ray is asking about people laughing on the way to work and BB insults the KLSX ACS that was a very funny show.
Adam is sharing the intensity of his 2007 schedule while filming ‘The Hammer’ and doing the morning show, how he would get home at 315am only to sleep for 90min before heading to the radio show.
He takes it back to his days teaching comedy traffic school at ‘Lettuce Amuse You’ and explains how the concrete thinkers in the room would act like Adam was responsible for their actions that lead to hem there, Adam Ray is almost in disbelief, Alison has a knowing reaction.
Adam is now using angry black mothers attacking the cops arresting their son as the perfect analogy, explaining that it’s not the fault of the cops that your son broke the law and stabbed someone.
Adam is now asking if anyone remembers Joseph Carcione the consumer advocate known as “The Green Grocer.”
They now play a clip and Adam riffs about remembering his name but nothing of importance.
Adam is now going in-depth on ‘Lettuce Amuse You’ and how the premium of an extra 5-6 bucks required him to be a professional level comedian and Adam Ray busts out some excellent Tony Danza in response to the clip of Joseph and Adam’s description of his Danza-esque voice.
Adam has a great street walker with an acting career analogy and now Adam says he never bothered lying about his comedy career to the class, he figured they could figure out his status regardless of what he was to fib about.
Adam explains he did mostly crowd work and never bothered to study, Adam sassy he would do 4 hours on “what are you in for?” instead of 10min at the top of the class.
Adam jokes about people leaving traffic school feeling like they learned something, so nobody would complain when they didn’t learn shit.
Adam jokes about taking the 4 cool student and sharing a pitcher of Margaritas during their two hour lunch break, they just needed to kill a Sunday.
Adam Ray brings up how he fails at standardized tests, he connects it to this driving test, the written and how he fucks himself up.
Adam is now joking about trying to implement the actual law, the distance between cars in Los Angeles, how that would work, using blinkers etc.
The whole gang are now bringing up all the people who use blinkers wrong, Adam Ray is mocking the DMV guy picking on his smile choice for this ID, why did he want so much Pizazz out of Adam’s face at 8am.
Adam is bringing up the Man Show but he wanted to do where he questioned female driver’s actual weight, Alison makes a point about being in fear that nobody would ever find her as her weight is off from what she put down.
Adam is joking about 26lbs being the cutoff for a felony, Adam Ray talks about being fat kid and mocks his little league playing cards they distributed where he lied about his weight.
Alison now remembers a get to know you card at school and how the teacher would read the stats about the kid, the teacher instead said “weight, that’s not important” and moved on, everyone in the class knew it was about our A-Rose.
Adam is now doing a live reads for Simply Safe
1st Story Is on the decision to not charge Tony Stewart with any criminal charges in the racing death incident, along with the autopsy report from the deceased.
Adam is now talking about how weed and racing doesn’t mix, Adam says that everybody under 25 now has THC in their blood now.
Adam Ray talks about the two 14 year old kids hanging outside the weed store, Adam Ray is in agreement as he jokes about the Eucharist now being infused with weed, gold!
Adam Ray is now telling them about a family style 5 course meal infused with pot in every component of every dish.
Adam describes waking up at 4am pants down covered in piss on his bathroom floor.
Adam is now saying let’s just rip a bong load and go to Shakey’s for a “Bunch-A-Lunch” and how his buddy treats 4-20 like a real holiday.
BB is now setting up animals with pot bread into them, he just created “Pot Eggs” and copyrights it on air, I’m not sure it works that way.
Adam says that would be the best Canadian bacon ever and they now just came up with “High Pigs” a new series.
Adam says that regardless of the ruling this isn’t over, Tony will be sued because he’s a rich guy, rich guys have to pay when there is a corpse, regardless of fault.
Adam, says the world will never know the truth of what happened during that race.
2nd Story is on the new weed infused personal pizzas being offered, Adam is now making the use of “personal” when your dish is only 6 inches.
Adam is now giving his take on personal pizzas, they’re too small to taste good and jokes about it happening with people too, working Brad Williams into the riff, nice “aww” from BB.
Adam is now mocking giant manhole sized cookies and calling them the inverse of personal pizza, he now says that people eating pizza solo is the saddest meal possible.
Adam is joking about playing the song ‘Brick’ at a pizza party and Adam Ray is in the mix adding to is nicely.
Adam is now joking about 9 personal pizzas being ordered for 9 guys, you would order 3 large pizzas and Adam jokes about personal mini kegs of beer and a miniature TV for 1, with a fight on TV but it’s just 4 year olds fighting and Adam is taking Barbie’s convertible to the mini convenience store.
“Hey everyone fucking rip a bong load already!” – Adam.
Alison is now describing the instructions on eating the pizza, Adam is now saying you eliminate the munchies part of getting high, that’s the best part.
Adam is now talking about the munchies one upper and Adam Ray jokes about fat kid trading cards, gold!
Adam is now doing a live read for Ship Station.
3rd Story Is on the new single camera ‘Real Genius’ inspired sitcom, Alison explains the premise and the connection to her school and the show ‘Facts Of Life’ and now they’re all riffing on 1980’s movie tropes.
Adam brings up the ski scenes and plots and hacking in primitive forms, BB cites the ‘WarGames’ style and Adam brings up the cage and skull and crossbones animations that would show up, ‘Weird Science’ is now in the mix.
They’re all weighing in and making some funny points, Alison then explains the divergent plot and setting.
“bout 400lbs!” – Adam replying to Adam Ray asking about the bee girl from the ‘Blind Melon’ video and where she is now.
Adam is now bringing up Tawny Kitaen and how weird it must be for women that the guys who grew up beating off to them no longer would even like to fuck them if given the chance.
Adam Ray has an intense “wow!” realization and they’re talking about the Blind Melon girl, you can see the photo of her via the show page link above.
Adam is back to his theory on the sliding scale/graph of men who beat off to women, Adam is joking about “one weird dude German” dude making the graph spike in 2007, gold!
They’re now wrapping up the news with a plug for Adam Ray to be cast the ‘Real Genius” series.
Adam is now doing a live read for Stmaps.com
Adam is giving out he plugs and wrapping up the show, Adam Ray is now talking about his song that they forgot to play.
Adam Ray tells them about his buddy Moises Diaz who helped him compose the song and Adam calls him “The Great Boxing Accountant” and now they play the song all about Adam and the show.
It’s pretty solid, Adam Ray is wonderful!
Everyone loves the song, BB closes the show with a drop form Alison about her box during the ‘Blue Apron’ live read.