04 Oct Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 09/25/2014 – Steve-O, Live from the Ventura Comedy Festival
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Steve-O, Live from the Ventura Comedy Festival
Recorded 09-24-2014 – Release Date 09-25-2014
Production Number #1418
Adam is “Venting in Ventura” with a slick intro from Dawson and Lynch, Steve-O once again joins them for a live show, it’s odd which guests only seem to do live shows and never in studio, is it always their preference, Mike’s preference or an implication about their abilities and strong suits.
Adam is now bringing up the TMZ footage he saw of Steve-O naked after asking hackers to target him and release his own personal non-Fappening pictures.
Steve-O is now explaining how he woke up this morning and saw the outcome of this challenge, Adam is now citing the ‘Jackass’ movies and how he can see bottle rockets shot out of Steve’s asshole at the Cinerama zone.
They’re now all marveling at a nude photo of Steve, brought up on while he’s on stage, whoa!
Adam is now joking about trying to talk to “1780’s Guy” about your dick pics being hacked out of the cloud, BB has an excellent sound bed and follow up jokes.
Alison tells him to not take this the wrong way and that nobody wants to see anymore dicks, Adam now laments the dick pics only showing large dicks, a self-selecting sample group, much like Adam’s theory on the secret racism of porn, it bans small cocked brothers from starring.
Adam is now riffing about ‘Lucious Small-cock’ and BB is now question Adam’s long shared theory on the collusion of porn productions and the racist nature of the industry.
Adam jokes about only seeing celebrity cocks when it’s large, Steve asks about Asian males and cock size, Adam has a killer reply.
Adam now brings up the tiled out Japanese porn and describes it to the gang, Alison has a killer “add extra tiles” jokes that’s as funny as it is soul crushing I assume.
Adam jokes about them saving tiles and how the modesty goes out the window during the bukake scenes, once again citing trying to explain this to a founding father.
Adam jokes about getting a nude photo of himself with black bar over his cock, but with it running past his knee, BB’s mic went out and there was an awkward pause.
Adam explains how he likes a chicane in his porn cocks.
Steve-O tells them about his year of investigations, after jumping off a bridge into 4 feet of water and then augmenting the ‘Sea World’ sign and Adam now jokes about the whales being eaten instead of being put into captivity.
Adam is now yet bringing up his own freeway sign “non-vandalism” of “To the Beach, to jerkoff” and jokes about the freeway sign being confused by Steve not being a Mexican.
Adam is now joking about the city having to do work and how they overcharge, like the old bygone days of VHS rental pricing scams perpetrated by video stores.
Adam is now back to the details of the duct tape he used to augment the sign for his political message, Steve reference ‘Catch a Contractor” reminding Adam of his hellish commute and time spent in horrible cities.
Adam is now bringing up the multiple plastic tear away windshield covers, how they freeway signs should be the same way and have multiple layers.
Adam says then you could auction off the multiple layers on eBay, in case you stumble across some true art, wow that’s enlightened.
Adam is now asking who Steve cuts a check too for that fine.
Steve says the cops won’t arrest him and shares his lengths (or lack thereof in some cases) to get the cops to arrest him, even posting his flight information on social media.
Adam is now joking about the things he could get done with a prison sentence, Adam thinks like what Israel does with the military, what about a mandatory year in prisons before becoming an adult.
Steve has a great prison rape riff and Adam brings up Jimmy Kimmel bringing up his childhood of not being molested by his priest to said priest, funny riff.
Adam laments not being hit on by gay guys, Steve cites the “most likely to suck a dick if he got drunk enough” status a gay magazine labeled him with.
Steve wants to know about the redundancy of Lesbian and Gay in the LBGT terminology, Adam is now bringing up his politically correct titles for people, he is now sharing his “fruit fly” over “fag hag” list, Adam attributes it to ‘Kevin and Bean’ but it was also done on the ACS morning show and on the podcast.
Adam is now asking why the Lesbian’s get to go first, the boot wearing Subaru drivers, not the eloquently dressed gay dude.
Adam is back to Steve and he reveals he once kissed a dick, Chris Pontius’s dick, he says they were in Russia and it wasn’t gay.
“I’m Steve-O and this is dick kissing”
Now they’re talking about the snake vs. cock scene with Chris from the first ‘Jacksass’ movie.
What Can’t Adam Complain About
1st Topic from Alan, he wants Adam to complain about a good flashlight, he says they don’t exist and explains how he appreciates the Maglite but doesn’t like that there is no led telling you the battery level.
Adam is mocking the settings for adjustment on flashlights, he says we need to agree on one size and one battery, hilarious powered by good vibes riff.
BB tries to jump in and Steve-O is now lamenting his own recent flashlight purchase, BB says people never have good vibes when they need a flashlight.
Adam kills this one and wraps it u p and then goes back for a third round, he now laments them being used as weapons by cops and how you need a flashlight to find a flashlight, he’s really focusing on cops beating people with their flashlights.
2nd Topic from Megan, she wants Adam to complain about his son, Sonny saving electricity.
Adam explains the afternoon shitting that was interrupted by Sonny shutting off the light, Adam says it was all undone when he came home today, the big screen TV was left on and now in screen saver mode, along with the full tilt setting on the ceiling fan.
The halogen bulbs blasting, not the LED lights he put in, his wife was sitting in the kitchen, really embracing her Mrs. Kill-O-Watt status.
Adam is now bitching about glue guns and miniature irons meant for dwarves clothing, Adam wraps it up with Sonny watching ‘The Hammer’ alone, cute anecdote.
Adam wants to know about electricity and who pays the bill, he gets a woman in the audience to reveal she pays for it and she’s the one always shutting things off.
Adam says the number one answer given when people leave things on “I was coming back!” and he mocks them for missing the switch, BB tells Adam to save this for the anniversary card.
Adam is joking about the light bulb getting exhausted with turning off and on, he anthropomorphizes it, gold!
“Sunland, if you would like to see pallets being used as fencing” – Adam on the town of Sunland
3rd Topic from Omar, he wants Adam to complain about “bottom door refrigerators” and BB has Adam explain that as a status symbol, everyone on stage has one except for A-Rose who likes her side by side.
Steve says he doesn’t have an ice dispenser and has to use an ice tray like an animal, Alison is explaining how that’s her argument, Steve calls BB a jerk, gold!
Adam is now ranting about old-school ice trays, the metal kind that never worked, the handle would kick the shit out of your hand.
Adam is now bringing up the role ice plays in taking up space in an alcoholic beverage, someone in the audience is bringing up reusable ice cube replacements, the metal ones meant to not dilute your beverage.
Adam says he now abides by these things for beer, they won’t wreck the taste but they will keep it chilled, Adam is now bringing up chilling a beverage and how putting it in the freezer doesn’t often work like you hoped, even laying it down on top of ice or betweenStouffer’s® frozen bricks.
Adam doesn’t know about super cooling with salt water in a bowl, somebody tell him about super cooling!
The audience is now shouting out pro-tips and Adam is lamenting cans that explode in your freezer, he is calling for a led to tell you when the beer is cold and in the freezer to remind you.
4th Caller from Todd, wants Adam to complain about a good night’s sleep, Adam jokes about his sound sleep last night, 645am wake up to head to Corona, he brings up his dog Molly’s sleeping on the floor and how it always leaves him curious as to what’s not right.
Adam jokes about Steve’s answer about his dogs sleeping with him, Adam is joking about the dog’s refractory period and if the dogs ever sleep on the floor over sleeping with him.
Adam is now bringing up the misery index and he likes the sensation of being woken up by the person who has to leave early, mocking his wife’s morning whine when he wakes her.
Adam is now ranting about people who say “once I’ve woken up I can’t go back to bed” and how maybe that means it’s time to rise, BB once again brings up Adam’s line of anniversary cards and how he has one coming up on Sunday, not sure which one it is, it’s ok on ‘For Crying Out Loud’ Lynette got it wrong too, she said 11 many times, it’s actually 12.
Adam brings up the reaction of a woman he was telling this too, she’s unaware of Lynette’s own mistake on air.
Adam explains his hard drive space rule for storing things in his brain, Adam wants to know why it’s such an “attack” that he’s filed it under the “Who Cares… What meaningful impact does it have on my life” and mocks the simulated leather bound photo album from his wedding.
Adam nails it, September 28th, his 12 year anniversary.
Adam is back to the topic of sleep and how he wishes he could “sock away” sleep, bank it for later when you are scheduled for unhealthy hours.
Adam mocks Steve-O for Johnny Knoxville being his Jimmy Kimmel that people use to make Steve feel bad about his own career, Adam is unsure if Steve is above or below Bam Margera in the hierarchy, unaware of the legendary “CKY” series that founded a good chunk of the “Jackass” ethos and old repurposed footage.
Adam is now saying fuck the people who say you only need a short window of sleep, Alison lends an assist for that one.
Adam wraps up the segment.
Alison’s News – Pussy Lips edition
1st Story is on the Bill Simmons suspension after he dared his bosses to punish him after commenting on the Roger Goodell situation.
Adam is bringing up how Bill Simmons was just a blogger who Jimmy brought out from Boston for Jimmy Kimmel’s show preproduction in 2002/2003.
Adam explains how Bill and Adam were paired up as a team and spent the first couple years writing together, Adam is joking about Bill and doing the impression of him behind his keyboard.
Adam explains he used to do Bill’s podcast in the 2007/2008 era, he explains that he had to phone in to the show from Bill’s drive way, great episode!
Adam is now commenting on ESPN and all of sports, calling them pussies and mocking their morality clauses and pretenses, he brings up the alcohol commercials that take the same tact, never implying they fuck your shit up and that you drink to get altered.
Adam says the only reason he drinks is to get fucked up and the only reason Steve-O quit is because it was fucking him up too much.
Adam brings up cigarettes and the notes and pictures on packages and how they scare the shit out of you, but alcohol never acknowledges that they’re in the “fucking you up business” and in the same sports don’t acknowledge their true audience and the reality of their industry.
A drunk entitled woman is yelling out “why” and Adam asks her if she really wants what’s about to happen to happen either implying she’ll be dragged out or this verbal berserker barrage he’s spewing asking the cunt why her dad didn’t just cum on her mom’s tits and why she was even born, the audience is losing it!
“Why weren’t you killed in an industrial accident in your teens, sweetie just because your cute doesn’t’ mean everyone wants to fuck you!” – Adam commenting on the mean lady and the legacy of Ventura female hecklers.
Adam is further commenting on the hypocrisy of sports thanks to Alison, she now sets up the clip of Bill asking for trouble, daring them to punish him.
Adam brings up his mid-1990’s Rosie O’Donnell show analogy, the “Cutie Patootie” and Tom Cruise smokescreen that she used to hide the onset monster inside her.
Adam says that Bill got Adam’s dream “suspended with full pay” instead of his “fired with some pay” status in 2009.
Adam is riffing about being forced not to work and getting paid while doing it, hilarious sarcastic riff about the “punishment” and he even works direct deposit into it.
“It’s the tassels on the boots of life” – Adam on the unnecessary role of sports in life, it’s an option, not an institution with moral standards.
Adam says sports only exist to sell booze and encouraging gambling, he is tearing them a new asshole.
Adam is now giving his take on Bill telling them he will now turn this into a story, they played right into his hands.
Adam is mocking the executives who think they are the stars, giving some examples and now riffing about Jimmy Kimmel getting shit for adding comedy to the NFL pregame shows back in the day.
Adam is joking about Jimmy Kimmel waddling up to Howie Long in high school and mocking him, Adam is riffing about going gay and sucking Howie’s cock, aiming that one at Steve-O.
Adam is mocking the shortsighted imbeciles who played right into Bill’s hand and proved his point.
2nd Story Is on a recent flight that was diverted mid-flight due a masturbating passenger who tried to open the cabin door.
Adam is now asking why men always go to their cock, echoing Drew’s information about men coming out comas masturbating, it’s some primal part of male reptilian brains and is a sign of loss of higher brain function, at least temporarily.
Adam is now joking about airplane bathrooms with Steve-O and how he would like one with the light that doesn’t come on, he jokes about people suspecting that you’re beating off in there.
Alison is now asking how easy it is to open an airplane exit door midflight and Adam is now mocking the verbal agreement part of agreeing to sit in an exit row, he’s obviously never been quizzed about the door weight (33-37lbs) depending on the aircraft.
Adam brings up Captain Sully’s miracle on the Hudson and now Adam wants to know why planes don’t6 have a Hannibal Lector dolly in the back of every plane, to strap down offenders instead of diverting aircraft.
Steve-O references Alec Baldwin and Adam laughs at the “Quiet!” drop played by BB, Adam loves that dude, wow!
Adam is now joking about targeting his beating off and attempts to open a cabin door with the place he actually wants to travel to, to avoid connecting in a hub city, hilarious.
3rd Story Is on the IPhone 6 flexing in pockets, she explains the complaints and Apple’s lack of a response, Adam is now blaming the fat people who own them and how they aren’t’ designed for the pants of the obese.
Steve-O lifted his shirt to reveal a “Hip Pack” instead of fanny, Adam says its euphemistic language and has a retarded example.
Adam is now asking Steve to be the tip of the spear for the fanny pack, not aware that Joe Rogan has been doing it for nearly 3 decades, he rocks it always.
Adam is now telling the “Briefcase Joe” incident from Jimmy Kimmel’s childhood, he mistakenly mixes up the name, putting Joe first, what?
Adam is now praising the briefcase hinges and powerful feeling of closing and opening one, mocking the lack of interesting things inside, the case is usually more fun than what you carry.
Adam is now doing a Draft Kings Live Read
Adam brings up people accusing of them lying about BB’s wins
4th Story Is on the human flesh burger that is being marketed for the return of ‘Walking Dead’ and Adam is now joking about consulting cannibals for their culinary wisdom.
Adam wants to know what the fuck is up with all the zombies, he rants about us all being the undead and says, you know who’s dead. His grandparents.
Adam is riffing about zombies and had s great “never trust a cannibal” bit of advice.
Adam is joking about zombies not eating each other, not aware of the explanation of dead vs. living flesh from 99% of zombie lore, Adam loved Dawn of the Dead, odd.
Adam is now joking about someone trying to eat Woody Harrelson in ‘Zombieland’ and how a vegan dude who runs fast is not the best target.
Adam is now mocking the dragging foot design seen in ‘Thriller’ and jokes about it being their stereotype, they don’t all drag their feet and amble.
Adam is back to the human flesh diet.
Adam is now talking about a hypothetical zombie apocalypse and his “leave me the fuck alone” request for if he turns, he doesn’t want to die again, he might like being undead and Steve-O agrees not to re-kill zombie Carolla.
Adam is now ranting against zombies and vampires and jokes about fat people moving slow enough, fuck the undead, we’re all undead, Adam is going to kill himself by seeing undead on T.V.
Alison wraps up the news.
Adam closes the show with some plugs, for Mangria and Steve-O.