24 Sep Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 09/16/2014 – Tom Sizemore
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Tom Sizemore
Recorded 09-15-2014 – Release Date 09-16-2014
Production Number #1411
Adam is opening the show with a Miss America intro from Dawson, BB plays the “hot on my pubes” drop from last week as his #TopDrop.
Adam is talking about the misery index and how unusual it is in the 1st world to suffer from the actual temperature due to the abundance of Costco air conditioning.
Adam shares his choices on set to film ‘Catch a Contractor’ and how it brutal it is for the cameramen who are doing the most intense work in the same heat, Adam says it doesn’t get hotter or shittier, Alison says school was closed in San Diego.
BB says it was 111, Alison says 108.
Adam laments his now softened ballsack that lacks the tenacity for wearing jeans in hot weather it once had, Adam explains why he has to wear jeans and Alison has a killer joke, Adam rolls with the sacrificial element.
Adam is back to life and times in Corona, he’s got a trip to Whittier “the Garden Spot” as he calls it, clever biker one liner.
Adam is now doing a Reverie Bed live read, he says he ran the vibrate function all night, he describes his night with Sonny and his stuffed panda ‘Petey’ watching SportsCenter.
Adam laments the bizarre Yin and Yang of his life, he has a great bed and life that he doesn’t get to enjoy as he has to pay for it.
Hooray for Baldywood
BB saw ‘Boyhood’ and explains to Adam why he may have mistook it for a documentary, he even cites the ‘7 up’ series, but not the abandoned American version that ended with 21, yikes.
Adam references a Roy Scheider movie called ‘The Seven-Ups’ and BB breaks down the cast, BB is making a case for Ethan Hawke as an underrated actor whose looks and cool name distract from his talent.
BB said it was his favorite movie of the summer, he breaks down the plot, the loose narrative that is present and the arc that shines through.
Adam mocks the slug line of “the dirty trick gang” used on the poster for ‘The Seven-Ups’ and BB wraps it up with a “go see it” but no letter grade.
Q and Ace
1st Caller Mickey, he wants to know about Adam pushing his son into a life of GRIT through sports and physical activity, Adam is now taking it to acting, how most people are pretty good, stopping is the problem for most people, blocking.
Adam is sharing a conversation he had with the camera guys about his blocking skills for shooting his show, he explains how he was bread into this from his football drills, Adam is using “fuck up the snap count” as a metaphor for preparation for life among adults.
Adam is really waxing poetic about sports and life, he’s sharing how Sonny is only into “flag football” not tackle, Adam realized that’s who he is, he’s a sweet thoughtful boy, not a battler, not head strong, not a wuss either.
Adam says he believes in kids having Grit, but if they’re not that person, you are going to have a lot of trouble making them into that, and they will resent you for your efforts to force them into a wrong shaped peg.
Adam says Sonny is a good boy, he says he will not force a lot of things down his throat, he is now referencing the saying and concept of “we need to educate our boys” and how Sonny will not be need to told not to hit people.
Adam is now sharing how condescending it is to be told that all men are anything, he says he will never punch his wife or kids, he only wants to use his words to get his wife to kill herself, Adam doesn’t draw a straight line between violence and winning arguments or proving his point.
Adam uses Natalia’s fixation and interest in the ‘Miss America’ Pageant and makeup, beauty and looks as a further metaphor for how you raise and shape children without trying to force them to be someone else.
Adam is now using the nice actions and interactions you do to teach your kids to be good people, BB asks Adam about changing his behavior for his kids, and he jokes about screaming “hang on” when doing crazy driving maneuvers.
“She wants to know if she can get Gene Wilder to defecate on top of her frozen yogurt” – Adam on his daughter’s demands and tastes vs. his sons.
Adam is sharing how he forgot Sonny’s water, he walked back in line and waited at the back to get his bottle, Adam says that Natalia says she called him a sucker and mocked him waiting in line.
Adam jokes about eating Sonny’s fruit, Adam says Natalia would have pulled and Amanda Plummer from ‘Pulp Fiction’ and says that’s not him.
Adam says the same way he can’t turn Molly into a pit fighter is the same as trying to make Sonny into Mike August (line cutter).
Alison shares how this message of being shaped can send the wrong message, Adam wraps up with Mickey.
Adam is now doing a legal zoom live read.
2nd Caller Shannon, she is an entrepreneur and wants to know about opening a business in a “cursed location” and Adam talks about that corner or mall, that can only be conquered by 1 other kind of business, BBQ it overcomes all obstacles.
BB plays the strip club music and Adam does a deserted Stripper DJ bit and has a self-satisfied sniff, he references the Z man sandwich and the location that was overcome by the food.
BB has a nice point about a good business overcoming a cursed location, Adam plugs Omaha Joes and thinks it’s Oklahoma, he knows what’s wrong, not what’s right and finds out it is ‘Oklahoma Joes’ and describes the Mike August anecdote of how he got them the Z man sandwich and cut in front of a line of dozens of people, sharing Mike’s “we already ordered” logic.
Adam says great food spots take a blow out of the road and how rough it is, he is now saying that provolone is an underrated cheese, he reads the ingredients from the Z man and praises their food.
3rd Caller Jerry, he mistakenly references “Bang A gong” that has no tie in to Adam’s broadcast history, Drew made that up.
Jerry wants to know about performing strand-up ion Minneapolis, Adam says it’s the Midwest’s Seattle, he’s describing his back to back shows at the Varsity Theater, I worked on those shows, it was awesome.
Adam is asking Jerry about his standup topics and he brings up “sleep sex” and Adam jokes about it with him, he is sharing his rough concepts, BB is praising it and Adam says that he has to make them want to laugh, not take a shower.
“and they’re carrying an open Vagina” – Adam on the idea of sleep boners, how women signing a marriage certificate answers a man’s lifelong dream of burying said sleep boners into something.
Adam is now trying to get him to riff some of his bits, Adam says the magical answer is it to start doing it, you have to do open mics, he references his path to comedy and how he even started on open mics.
Adam has a solid UFC analogy.
Adam is doing a live read for Go to Meeting, Tom Sizemore has arrived.
They’re heading to break.
They’re back from break.
Tom Sizemore is in the bathroom, uh oh.
Alison mentions her fan given ticket for the ‘Facts of Life’ reunion, Adam predicts Molly Ringwald won’t be there and Alison describes the Paley Center to Adam who had broadcasted from there and was possibly interviewed there too.
Adam is now riffing about the show, asking when they got rid of the headmaster characters, Alison explains how it all changed over the course of the series.
Adam is asking if we are past the time that someone can be a “Mr. Belding” and have that pressure to be respectable or avuncular, Alison says it’s past that era, even reality TV people aren’t expected to be like they are in media appearances.
Tom is talking off mic, his “Baby Powder” exploded all over him in the bathroom, he is now describing the plot of the movie, he says he cleaned Adam’s bathroom and describes the “Petty Thief” history of his family.
Adam jokes about the term petty and has a great “what the?” and Tom further explains the plot and its connection to his family.
Tom brings up the “Clinton” story from about 5 months ago, Tom refuses to bring it up and hints about it, Adam possibly unknowingly brings up Monica Lewinsky, not aware that this story also involved Bill Clinton’s dong.
That was from ACS #1275 and now Tom is telling them about Danny Trejo became his sober buddy to help him and his sponsor ensure Tom’s sobriety.
Tom has super stilted vocal patterns, I wonder if this is a residual effect, Tom takes his coat off and says he wanted to hide the baby powder.
Adam wants to know about Tom’s treatment by Hollywood, does he have a shot at another chance, he’s now citing some of the projects he’s finished and how he’s back with his big agency, Adam references ‘The Facts of Life’ and asks but doesn’t’ ask about his sobriety while filming ‘Saving Private Ryan’ and he’s telling them about depression and drug addiction.
Adam and Tom are talking about the downfall and decline of Detroit and its economy, he’s describing a post-apocalyptic scene and Tom tells them about the degree in which they’ve been impoverished.
Adam is now riffing about collecting a bill from the parties involved in WWII to payback Detroit for essentially saving the world.
Adam is describing his ‘Michael Berryman-esque’ waiter at Coney Island dogs in Detroit, Tom is now referencing the two locations and the legacy staff.
Adam is now doing a live read for Draft Kings, Tom gets in the mix seemingly unaware it’s a commercial.
Tom requests Water and then tries to leave the studio, Adam tells him that a producer will fetch it for him.
1st Story Alison shares the story of the ‘Django Unchained’ actress who accused a cop of racism after being accused of committing a public sex offense.
Alison plays the TMZ sourced audio from the clip that was recorded, the cop sounds rad, and she sounds manic, entitled and possibly intoxicated.
Adam says the real dick is the person who called the cops, citing his own experiences with the cops showing up at 930pm on New Year’s Eve along with the crossed wires construction story.
“Nobody’s got less respect for law enforcement than me” – Adam
Adam says give them your I.D. stop battling them, Adam doesn’t blame her nor the cop, weird.
Adam is now lamenting the people who live at home and don’t work who obsess about you and your actions, Adam is now describing douchebag Bernard banging on his door at 1pm on a Wednesday, Adam tried to avoid him and got his hash settled regardless.
They’re speculating on what was happening and BB has a killer one liner, once again sneaking in like a ninja, at least 4 times this episode alone.
2nd Story Is on Jimmy Kimmel selling a pilot comedy script to ABC and Adam explains the concept of penalties to Alison, Alison explains the production and premise.
Adam explains the original Cousin Sal premise and the attempt to get Artie Lange for the project years ago.
They’re now praising Artie Lange and Tom wants to know if he thinks Howard will ever take Artie back, Adam doesn’t know.
Adam is doing a live read for Blue Apron and uses his nanny Olga in the live read, he riffs about a neighbor lady working, and Adam jokes about Olga keeping his show pony full.
3rd Story Is on the black burger available in Japanese Burger King, Adam has a killer one liner about a cop arresting it, he gets a live spit take and jokes about his shit looking like Robert Smith of ‘The Cure’ and how it will scare the shit out of you.
Adam uses an old Jeff Ross joke, “earf” and explains the black circus history to it, Adam says it’s racist and funny.
4th Story is on Neil Young dating Daryl Hannah and Adam jokes about her introducing Neil to conditioner, citing his patch of pubes sideburns and straw top, he says he needs to switch to whatever Daryl uses.
Adam is now citing John Derek and Bo Derek, Adam jokes about her bringing some Pantene into his life, Alison explain how they met and Adam says that if Neil was a truck driver she wouldn’t be dating him.
They’re now bringing up some of his songs and his weird voice, Adam says it’s pretty weird for a guy who became so successful.
“Sings like a cat that’s been backed over and has super dried out hair…” – Adam on Neil Young getting discovered by an A&R guy.
Tom is now citing an article that he read that argued that John Lennon and Paul McCartney are the best singers ever in rock music and now Alison wraps the news, someone is bumping their mic as Tom asks if they are done.
Adam is now doing a live read for Ship Station.
Adam welcomes Tom back anytime and wraps up the show with some plugs.