10 Sep Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 09/10/2013 – John and Morgan Langley, plus Jo Koy
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – John and Morgan Langley, plus Jo Koy
Recorded 09-09-2013 – Release Date 09-10-2013
Production Number #1160
Adam is welcoming Jo Koy to the show for his 5th appearance and Adam is going off on why his parents would’ve never ended up on COPS.
Alison has some thoughts and his working it out with him, Jo’s chiming in and Adam is mocking the attire of the average citizen featured on the show.
Adam is now riffing about the women who fight on the show and he’s got a great “breakaway ponytail” comment citing his theory on the lizard tail style clip on hair that women now sport for greater combat ability.
Adam is now having Jo break out the “PH Chang’s” waiter character in order to pronounce some words in a hilarious fashion, good call Ace!
Adam is now asking the gang one of his “douche or not a douche” for the month of September, he’s citing his kids reaction to the tap and a scheduled interview for PBS he had to record earlier in the day.
Adam is now telling everyone how Matt offered waters for the road, Adam wants to know why Matt is tackling people offering them 3$ of Adam’s money, wow this is awesome!
They’re now discussing the nature of Matt and how he is with his belongings vs. Adam’s, Adam is simultaneously complimenting his manners while critiquing his rationing of the precious Carolla water supply.
Alison is now reporting on Adam getting pissed at August for offering food to Fitzsimmons before going on stage at Amalfi, Adam is now explaining himself and claiming Mike does it intentionally to get extra free food.
Jo wants to know if Matt offered up the water and explicitly told the guy it was from Adam if he would still care, very funny riff from Jo and Ace.
BB is sharing his biggest pet peeve wanting to know why they don’t have a “palette of fucking water here!” asking Adam why he doesn’t just buy more, spitting in the face of Adam’s effort to “re-train” people.
Adam is now going off on the idea of bottled water and wants to know what we’ll be drinking out of in 5 years, he’s predicting a golden goblet with spring water.
Adam wants to do a long-term study on the kids who shoved gum into the drinking fountains at school, find out where life took them.
Adam is now going off on the NFL refusing to retrofit the goals to prevent future missed/not counted kicks, he wants his goal post extensions or simply a camera installed.
Adam is making a point about the hypocrisy in the face of all the other high tech equipment monitoring the games and BB is explaining that technology has now eclipsed Adam’s improvement and a 99$ camera could solve this.
They’re really going off on the NFL and the various inconsistencies of the rules and enforcement, along with a great “Pirate” riff during Jo Koy’s touchdown dance rant.
Adam is now bringing up a conversation with the former head of officiating regarding the bad call being reviewed and not overturned.
Adam is now on what might be his all-time funniest “NFL Replay Gimp” explanation, with added details not featured in past telling’s, comedy gold!
Adam is now doing a Gimp infused live read for Carbonite, good stuff.
Adam is now telling the guys about going out to Flushing Meadows to watch the U.S. Open with Jimmy Kimmel, Adam is joking about the attendees dressing as if it was likely they might be summoned to play at some point during the game.
Alison is telling the gang about “tennis underwear” with special holsters for extra balls, forever solving the mystery for Adam.
Jo is a big tennis fan and he’s telling them about a guy he observed sporting headbands and wristbands.
Adam is now bringing up some weird porn sounds that led him to turn down tennis when he’s watching T.V. in the past, not wanting his neighbors to think he was into weird shit.
They’re now going in depth on female tennis “grunters” and Jo has an amazing Venus Williams impression “Ffffuck Yeah!”
Adam is now asking for a “under your breath grunt” and Alison is attempting to figure out just what that noise would be.
Adam is now mocking the white on white guys from the Netherlands involved in the “strong man” contests, he’s citing the boulder carry portion and how the make far less noise than the women hitting tennis balls.
Adam is proving that the women could do their profession/sport without making the noise and that it’s an intentional thing, either superstition or artifice trying to seem like a professional.
They’re bringing up Monica Seles and her bringing the grunt to the game, Jo loves tennis and Alison is now quizzing Adam on his wardrobe to the U.S. Open.
They’re now on the topic of golf fans/crowds dressing like golfers and Adam is bringing up people who let strangers know about their interests via their clothing choices.
Jo has a hilarious Asian guys wearing karate gi’s one liner that Adam tops with a great riff in reply.
Adam and Jo are now doing a riff with Jo as a guy sporting a go to the nightclub and Adam as the unsuspecting throat punch victim bouncer, comedy gold!
Jo is now counting in Japanese, Adam is riffing up a storm, this so great!
Jo’s character Mr. Osaka is teaching Adam how to spell and pronounce his name, U2 – Adam.
Adam is wrapping up with Jo and doing a beautiful live read for Personal Capital, the app that turned Superfan Giovanni’s finances into a sad RPG.
Adam is plugging some of Jo’s upcoming gigs and praising how beautiful Salt Lake City is in spite of what a younger Adam might have preconceived about a place like that.
John and Morgan Langley are making their ACS debut and Adam is singing the praises of COPS as must watch TV that you don’t seek out, both guys seem to agree and are aware of what they make.
Adam is bringing up how he reacts to cops following him, he turns his stereo down just to be extra careful, and he’s contrasting that to people on the show who fragrantly break all the rules.
Adam has a killer “couple of beers and rake at 2 in the morning” riff mid description, the guys are mocking their own subjects and one of them has a key line basically saying the cops can make up any reason to arrest you.
Alison wants to know how they get the footage and Adam wants to know what cities won’t allow them to film, Honolulu of course won’t allow them to expose the truth of that island and Chicago won’t either, boy what a coincidence.
Adam is now quizzing one of the guys about his work in military intelligence and why he chose that route.
Adam is bringing up the WWII code breakers and marveling at the guys who figured that stuff out, he claims he’s perplexed by pig Latin and pretends to understand people speaking in it.
Adam is asking them about the move to Spike for the 26th season and their COPS racing team that sponsor the Baja 1000, Adam has a nice Pikes Peak comparison while talking about the safety requirements.
The guys agree with Adam’s observations about the races and the fans, Adam is calling it a nice bit of common ground between the white and brown men, the lack of fear of speeding vehicles within striking distance.
Alison is asking them how they came up with the premise and BB and Adam want to know about the theme song, Adam claims it and the Pete Ellis Dodge theme are the two most synonymous tunes to accompany a product.
One of the Langley’s is telling Adam about the initial notes he received from the network trying to eliminate their iconic theme song, nice bit of a fuck you for the network.
Adam is now bringing up his “All in the Family” being tested by network and ruined theory, how the show would’ve been softened by such scrutiny.
Adam’s now quoting what a female executive once said to him about the relationship between Archie and Mike on “All in the Family” rewriting history to fit her argument.
Her top story is on the Syria conflict, people want to know why they haven’t spent more time talking about the conflict on the show.
Adam has a great “it’s not the people” riff explaining the people of the Middle East and their tendencies with violence.
Adam wants the news to stop reporting until there is no trouble in the Middle East, because that will be news.
Alison is reporting on Syria’s options and likely moves in the face of a U.S. intervention in the region, Adam is using his confrontation with Helen his late mother in law to make a point about dealing with crazy.
Adam is asking if military intervention has ever worked out with the Middle East and has a great point about a dead body being a dead body and it shouldn’t matter whether chemical weapons were used, death is death.
Adam is now commenting on the hypocrites who now won’t tell the truth because “their guy” is in the Whitehouse, Adam is bringing up an article that shows many of the usual suspects have been mysteriously silent with Obama as commander and chief.
Adam is now breaking down the hypocrisy one both sides of the fence, the right wing suddenly not into military intervention and the left suddenly not into critiquing military intervention, brilliant observation from the Aceman!
Adam doesn’t think there is a right or wrong answer at least not a clear cut one, he’s citing all the people he respects from all different political affiliations who all disagree on the best action.
Adam is now calling for China and Russia to step up and reach for the global police force check once in a while in response to the guest’s observation about the United States playing the role of world police.
2nd story is on the domestic violence call at the house of George Zimmerman’s father in law, they’re now playing clips from the phone call.
Adam has a hilarious “Apple Care” reply to Alison’s news about what George did to his wife’s iPad.
They’re having producer Gary get on mic to explain how hard it is to destroy and iPad and Adam is questioning the idea of “closing the garage door” is a very slow moving assault.
They’re now having a marijuana legalization conversation as motivated by one of the guests who sounds like someone that enjoys the weed.
Adam is asking the guys about the gang culture that seems to be violent in the face of heavy pot use, they’re saying the weed is not enough to slow them down.
Adam is bringing up how Jimmy discovered that Snoop Dog experiences weed differently that other dudes, no munchies etc.
3rd Story is on the death of Cal Worthington, Adam is now singing his jingle in reply to the sad news and now Adam is explaining his alternate jingles including “10 day car exchange” and one involving the misses “The down payment he’ll arrange…”
They’re now playing some one of his commercials for used cars and Adam is doing live commentary and works in the “Give a new car to your wife, she will love you for her life”.
Alison is sharing her “Pussy Cow” interpretation of the lyrics and the guests seem to agree it’s an easy mistake due to Cal’s singing.
4th Story is on underground bunkers now being allowed to be built in California with a permit.
Alison is explaining the arguments on both sides and Adam has a great number one reason not to build one involving daughters using said bunker for teenage antics.
Adam has a new rule on feet underground equating amount of time before your daughter loses her virginity and BB has an inverse plan, great scissor lift comedy from Ace!
They’re pausing on “half the size of a basketball field” and Alison is trying to present the facts about the bomb shelters and bunkers.
Alison is now asking Adam about losing his virginity, all of us Superfan’s know to whom, Adam is revealing he was at the Condo of the “cool dad” in the neighborhood and it wasn’t her dad, as he was blind and faithful to his wife.
Adam is now doing a great live read with Gary Patrick Smith, Adam is chastising him for now following his gambling advice and paying for it.
5th Story is on an elephant being born for the first time using frozen sperm, Alison is focusing on her favorite part, and the sperm came from a wild bull elephant named Steve, Adam’s wish about giving some American names to the animals we pay for overseas.
Adam is calling the real hero the guy who obtained the semen from the elephant and Alison theorizes it’s obtained from simple jacking.
Adam has a great water soluble lube and a tire swing riff involving a drawing of an elephant’s rear to avoid beating off a pachyderm.
Adam is doing a live read, giving some plugs and wrapping the show.