01 Sep Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 08/31/2015 – Howie Mandel, Live from Borderline Bar and Grill
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Howie Mandel, Live from Borderline Bar and Grill
Recorded 08-28-2015 – Release Date 08-31-2015
Production Number #1649
Adam has a prerecorded intro with some plugs and lives reads.
Adam opens the show live with Howie returning to the show for his 7th appearance, Howie is live on the Periscope app and Adam jokes about his own app “Buttplug” and BB has a topical Will Ferrell #TopDrop due to the insane heat in Los Angeles.
Adam is mocking the advice from the news telling people to avoid standing in direct sunlight while it’s hot out, Adam went to John Hamm’s house today.
Adam talks about being the exact same size and weight of John and how an afternoon spent with him caused him to feel like he was as striking and of a similar look, Adam saw himself in the bathroom mirror and was horrified by his own visage as reality crashed back down around him.
Adam is commenting on the comedic crutch of BB after some Caitlyn Jenner gold comedy, Adam is now sharing his recent discovery of several nonsensical and possibly vulgar fast food slogans.
Adam is riffing up a storm with Howie keeping up nicely and Adam brings up the Reebok “Be More Human” campaign.
Q and Ace
Adam is riffing about Art the little person as he recalls the bygone salad days of using the term “midget” on ‘The Man Show’ and has a killer reply to BB’s “Be More Human” callback.
1st Question John, he wants to know about Adam and Lynette’s IVF campaign, Adam is joking about having to beat off at the clinic.
Howie jokes about their proximity to the front row, Adam is recalling all of the details of his experience with fertility treatments and the conception of his children.
Adam jokes about wanting to know what a normal person does when it comes to jackoff time at the clinic, Adam comments on the super casual walk one does after exiting the room, Adam has a killer line about the proper receptacle being Lynette.
Adam comments on the fertility clinic being another business previous to when you find yourself jacking off in, Adam is sharing a bit from something he was writing where the character learned he was in a former hardware store.
Howie Mandel shares the story of the non-tinted windows and his prostate exam, it might have been shared on the show during a previous episode with Howie, or possibly on Loveline.
Adam is sharing the story of his prostate exam and observing the Marx Brothers poster in his doctor’s office.
Howie is sharing the story of a hilarious prank he played on a buddy and Adam has him rolling about the experience he had with his pregnant wife waiting to deliver.
Howie has another obstetrics tale of woe regarding an older woman who saw in an unflattering position.
Adam is back to prostate exams and tells the gang about his very first one, Adam has a killer “enzymes” riff with Howie and he takes it back to the IVF process and the experience of his giving his wife hormone shots.
Adam talks about giving his late dog Molly diabetes shots in the scruff of her neck and how humans should evolve a part of the body that feels no pain just for administering shots.
Adam is on fire and tells them about the 3 viable embryos and their option to “reduce” to which Howie has a fantastic reply once he does the twin math, Adam explains what happened and how sometimes one naturally sloughs off or gets absorbed, he then jokes “Natalia probably ate it” and is now riffing about ultrasounds and sonograms, hilarious wording and sound effects.
Adam is now joking about how you can’t do any better than a flyswatter, Adam calls back John Hamm and they blame the Mangria infused sebum coating Howie for the fly’s presence.
2nd Question Valerie, she wants to know what breed of puppy they will be getting next, Adam shares his love for large breed dogs and labs, he says he likes to pull their legs out and do big belly rubs.
Adam comments on his daughter and his son and their relative levels of patience, his daughter wants a shiatsu and everyone agrees with Adam, why?
Adam is commenting on why he likes big dogs vs. little ones and Adam is riffing about his dad lying to him about owning a dog and rules that don’t exist.
Howie is sharing the story of the dog trainer that pissed all over his back yard and bit his dog, Adam is asking about Cesar Milan, asking if he’s straight and says someone should tell his face.
Adam comments on the pussy he’s leaving on the table if he’s not straight.
Adam wants that new dog smell, Adam wants a big fat dog for wrestling with.
Adam shares that his daughter is ‘Glamping’ with Lynette and some other girls.
Adam is recalling Howie’s story of his son’s circumcision and foreskin retrieving dog as first told to Adam on Classic Loveline TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 24, 1998 – GUEST: HOWIE MANDEL • HOST: ADAM, DR. BRUCE and briefly recounted on Classic Loveline SUNDAY, AUGUST 14, 2005 – GUEST: HOWIE MANDEL • HOST: ADAM, DR. DREW.
Howie is mocking an audience member who denies she’s been drinking, Howie mocks her for being drunk and bitchy, she threatens to grab his hand, and Howie is peppering her with more solid lines.
Adam is now asking if Uber provides a wheelchair service for drunk passengers, Courtney is further ruining the show.
Gina’s News
Adam is telling Courtney to maintain with his first man on woman “Dude Maintain!” command.
Adam takes a shot with Courtney and jokes about it tasting like her sweat, Howie is still on fire and Adam gets it back to the news.
1st Story is on Amazon’s new alcohol delivery service for same day orders, Adam jokes about our obese future selves and they move on.
2nd Story is on the Dentist and Cecil the Lion Halloween costume, Adam says he would like a time machine that only goes 11 months back, he would then take it just to run into the dentist and blow his mind by telling him about him being the biggest Halloween costume of 2015, then just leave without giving context.
Gina shares the details and BB has a nice observation, Howie comments on Courtney leaving and her gal pals joining her, Adam riffs about women helping other women like soldiers in war.
Adam comments on his “like 4 black fans” and how he often makes them feel special by calling them the sole fan, in response to a black woman in the audience who brought up the topic.
Adam is commenting on the guys in the audience and bringing up the ‘Lineman Dykes’ Story from The Tonight Show on January 6th 2009.
Adam and Howie riff about the pre-interview process and Adam takes it back to the incident and behind the scenes reaction from the producers.
Howie is helping elicit a very funny version of this story, this is very funny.
3rd Story is on a Virginia frat that got in trouble for some sheet related incidents, Adam jokes about spots on the sheet in the old country and Adam has a killer ‘Rising Hymen’ one liner about it being a flag.
Adam is now telling Howie about pulling guys pants down in front of women and how his buddy Ray led the charge, Adam explains how the guy who got humiliated would blame himself for trusting his back to Ray.
Adam talks about the fake offense abundant in America, Adam tells everyone to suck his dick and asks what frat movies are going to look like in the future.
Adam brings up the bygone era of racism and rape comedy in movie like ‘Animal House’.
4th Story is on a Rage Room where people pay to break stuff while angry, Adam has a funny “Wife of a wide receiver who just caught her man cheating” variant on this room.
Adam says he doesn’t blame Lisa Left Eye Lopez for the house she burned down, he gives the backstory of her trying to burn his clothes in the bathtub, he comments on the bathtub and explains how most are cast iron, and she was dealing with fiberglass.
5th Story is on a Florida woman who flashed her breasts to the judge, Howie has some sloppy one liners and Adam blames the Mangria.
Adam has a funny “Titty Served” line and Adam jokes about Howie being the most unlikely guy to make it rain this side of Ken Burns and Howie talks about his dad owning a strip club.
Adam has a funny quick Stripper DJ bit and now Howie is sharing an anecdote about his father, hilarious stripper DJ additions and Adam is now back to strip clubs and tells them about going to see Kitten Natividad at his first strip club.
Adam has Gina reenact Howie’s anecdote about Kitten Natividad and try to give him some advice to him about his comedy career, he has a killer Jizz in her hair reply.
Adam is now commenting on the high roller suite at hotels and casinos, he comments on how giant the bathtubs are asks when he is supposed to luxuriate, he wants to lease the tub out for people to fuck in while he’s not in the room working.
Howie is now riffing with him and not objecting to strangers fucking in the tub in his room, Adam says this is mom’s birthday, 82 years dead.
Adam comments on how his mom would by his grandma new inflatable bath pillows each year for the holidays, he comments on the whole lot of talk about that 9 dollar item.
Howie jokes about going down on his grandmother and Adam shares the KY Jelly reminder story of his grandmother remembering her late husband Lotzi.
Adam shares the “do you know what a Rimjob is?” dinner question and Howie has a dueling lewd Grandma reply, BB comments on it.
Adam is doing a Draft Kings Live read
Gina wraps the news.
Adam gives out the plugs for Howie and wraps up the show.