02 Sep Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 08/28/2014 – David Alan Grier, Live from the Irvine Improv
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – David Alan Grier, Live from the Irvine Improv
Recorded 08-27-2014 – Release Date 08-28-2014
Production Number #1399
Adam is opening the show with DAG approaching his 30th episode of the podcast, Dag is asking Adam about his take on people filming from the crowd, and DAG is now threatening an audience member, hilarious!
Adam says that Dag gets a cultural pass to kick the phone out of the guys hand, Dag is now trying to connect to the one black guy in the crowd, and Adam has a funny orange county joke and says they’re trying to change it to White County.
Adam says “it either has to be kids on a pony or chicks sucking off a pony” about people filming events, he’s only up for the most sweet and saccharin moments and the most depraved.
Adam is telling the audience about Mike August driving Adam’s car while he was signing books in the back seat, Mike August scuffed up Adam’s rim and backed out of the driveway bad, Mike then punches the car in reverse and Adam had to slap the car hood, then chucked a water bottle at the window to alert him.
Adam doesn’t get why he doesn’t know to be more careful after fucking up, Adam connects this to the time where Adam backed up into the trashcans, and Alison is now chiming in.
Alison shares how she test drove one car into another car on the lot, Alison is explaining how it happened and Adam has a great coke dealer one liner.
Adam asks Alison about Salesmen throughout history ever coming back with a lower figure than the most you can spend.
Dag shares his experiences in buying cars and goes into a riff that Alison sounds like hearing his Instagram feed.
Adam is now telling DAG about the Tommy Davidson and Jim Brown airplane “brother” hug between the men who had probably never met, DAG is riffing up some new African garb.
Adam and Dag are now giving their take on the modern era of hugging dudes and Adam brings up the guy who tricks you with with a handshakes and “pull in maneuver” and Adam is now asking DAG about his dating life.
Adam mocks the idea of Alison being pent up from just a short time being married and locked down, DAG has a killer “I thought you fucking died man!” line aimed at BB.
BB has a killer note about Dag not being on the lineup for Laughs for Bald Bryan, Adam is now bringing up the special teams coach on ‘Hard Knocks’ and he’s killing it riffing on the HD digital footage era of game tape.
Adam and Dag are now riffing on the show together and DAG is killing it “that’s disrespectful” and DAG is now quoting the vice jag from the last episode.
Adam is sharing the story of the foxy boxing stunt with Bryan Cox on ‘The Best Damn Sports Show’ which Adam calls Rodney king in reverse and describes his head getting bashed in.
Adam is asking DAG to do another 20minutes on the coaches in ‘Hard Knocks’ and how the guys in the meeting room appear while being chewed out.
Q and Ace
1st Question from Ronald, he got married and turned 3 this year and want’s some advice, he gets the square footage and two TiVo’s response, he’s now on mic and Adam is riffing about his possible kids, he says his wife definitely works Adam says that makes him think it’s in prostitution.
“Oh a child just fell out of her” – Adam
Adam is beaten to the punch by DAG in a stripper DJ bit and is now asking DAG about his stripper at ‘Hawaiian Gardens’ who had been stabbed 27 times, Adam has a killer spaghetti colander one liner and fake titty joke.
Dag is sharing the story in almost extreme detail, new quotes never heard before in previous tellings, Adam brings up the ‘Siegfried and Roy’ story and reminds DAG about it, hilarious hand to god riff from Ace.
They’re now talking to his wife and asking her about her hunt for DNA as a forensic pathologist in the LAPD somewhere.
Adam is now asking her about weird socks with Jizz samples and now asks her about the worst she’s seen and BB has a kid’s sock one liner that she somehow tops as everyone reacts onstage.
She’s telling them about finding semen in vomit for date rape cases, Adam has a funny nachos request and is now getting her to break this down as Alison’s parents watch in the audience.
“To see how digested the semen is” – Alison
BB has a funny one liner and DAG compliments him on his clarity of mind and killer one liners all show.
Adam asks her about her basement lab, she is on the 5th floor with a window, Adam is joking about her excitement ritual when she finds something.
Adam asks if there isn’t a dog that can do this work, Adam predicts she’s the best looking woman in the lab.
“You want to find truffles get a pig, you want to find Jizz get a broad” – Adam
Adam is now back to her husband and his work tolling leather and Adam is now mocking his career, DAG has a Jizz reminder.
Adam is no asking her about her college and her scholarship “finding Jizz?” – Adam asks with amazingly earnest with a killer twist.
Alison wants to know about vomiting when things are disgusting at her work, Adam mocks her idea of vomit being her phobia and they’re now discussing frozen vomit.
Adam is killing it riffing about bringing home old shoes in the new shoebox, this is Ace Awards 2014 material and would be great for a ‘This Week in Rage’ and now Adam is taking it back to her ability to killing and dispose of her husband if he doesn’t act right.
She confirms that was a question on her final, how to commit the perfect crime and she got an A.
Adam has a funny joke about Mexican guys not being into swimming and wearing rolled up denim jeans at the beach, Robert is now on mic and saying he would be offended if it weren’t true.
DAG tries to use Scott Peterson to argue against her perfect crime at sea proposal, Adam has a funny “Rape Barge” joke and Adam is now reminiscing on when one used to have to possess porn, before this digital era.
Dag shares a story of “woods porn” that he and his buddy obsessed over.
Adam is bringing up the women of ‘Frisky’ that featured them in grandma panties, bouffant hairdos and banana swayed breasts with huge areolas.
Adam is telling story of the blanket tug of war with Ray’s mother, Adam shares that Ray busted him the next day and the anecdote about the pancakes loogie movie he pulled on his brother Rich.
DAG is now playing Ray’s mother and riffing a fantasy porn version of that story.
2nd Question From Adam, he wants to know if DAG still sees Jim Carrey and knows him, he tells him that he came and saw him while he was doing ‘Porgy and Bess’ and followed it up with Lunch the next day.
Adam jokes about Jim having a bigger joint that DAG and Adam is asking DAG about what kind of dude Jim is and how his life is.
Adam is giving some plugs out for DAG and mocks the dates and schedule for his tours, Adam is now quoting the backstage words of club owners and theater managers.
Adam brings up Robert and his wife and mocks the poor guy with hilarious one liners, Adam compliments DAG’s work in ‘Road Hard’ and how the camera picks up on the people who truly have the acting chops.
Adam is now riffing a morning team bit, ‘spunk and vomit’ in the mornings and it’s otherwise just standard morning DJ riffing from ACE, Dag is vomiting in the background, classic Loveline material.
Adam is sharing how he’s been tweeted about the movie “Theodore Rex” as a prime example of one of Whoopi Goldberg’s worst movies, they’re now playing the insane trailer that somehow translates it’s awfulness to audio.
Adam is saying that he will forever use this movie when pitching his movies as an example of what kinds of pieces of shit get made.
They find out it was George Newbern who played Theodore Rex.
1st story is on the gigantic swells caused by Hurricane Marie, Alison is now quoting a surfer about the liberation of being free while riding the waves.
Adam is sharing his “I’d rather have my son have a relationship with cocaine than be into surfing” preference and theory on surfers and their intelligence level, Adam is joking about a surfer’s trivia show.
Dag is in defense of surfing and Alison is asking him about his comments about his hope for his daughter to be a surfer and he steps past it to make a joke about her.
Alison is now explaining the “dude you look like you’ve been chowing box man” guy she had a crush (gush misspoke) was a surfer.
2nd Story Is on the death of a ‘Cops’ sound engineer who was shot and killed while filming the show, Adam is now explaining why you shouldn’t take chances with cops, they aren’t the most skilled and best students we knew from school, it attracts a type of person.
Adam brings up the Dorner case and the Asian women that were fired upon, Adam says that he treats cops like anyone who has a gun on them ordering him around.
Alison shares her reaction to the failure of the bullet proof vest and Adam is bringing up head and ballsack bullet wounds and Dag just invented a bullet proof face mask.
Alison asks about said mask, wouldn’t it encourage violence out of fear based reactions to your appearance?
Adam is back to the story and how at some point they had to kill a crewmember in all 25+ years of the show, Adam is now bringing up ‘Hookers at the Point’ the HBO documentary and now he’s reenacting the 20$ blowjob negotiating from the movie.
Adam is bringing up the tiled out license plate frames that don’t provide enough privacy for the johns and how it might have gotten some of the guys caught.
Alison is now asking if they’ve ever solicited hookers, DAG is dodging it and Adam is riffing about people trying to put their weird stuff on you “haven’t we all” and DAG has a killer one liner.
Adam is now doing a Draft Kings live read, someone shouted it (August?)
Adam with BB chiming in for the read.
3rd Story Is on the top 10 complaints of unhappy wives, Alison explain it was teased on a past show but never covered and DAG is now admiring Alison’s body and he’s asking her for a hug.
Alison is now listing off some of the highest ranked complaints and Adam is responding to the idea of knowing his kids teacher’s names and how that could possibly affect him in life.
Adam explains that Open House is tonight and thanks Irvine for getting Adam out of the meeting.
Adam is referencing his incident with one of Sonny’s teachers and Adam is now taking it to the makeup lady whose husband won’t let her cut his hair, what kind of husband doesn’t let a hairdresser cut his hair?
Adam is reacting to the video games entry and now BB is trying to riff what the 1950’s version of video games would’ve been, hilarious examples!
Alison cites the repeated arguments and DAG is now reacting to the drinking entry also listed.
“Part of the reason the guy is drinking is because he’s married to a fucking nag…” – Adam
Adam is explaining his in-laws to DAG, citing his mother in law and her infamous trips to a hotel for dinner with Jesus and now Adam is explaining the story of the night he had to extract her from her house.
DAG has a funny Jesus comment and now Adam is citing how he told Helen about the cops and she told him to go get them, Adam is getting stern about the unfortunate thing that people refuse to avoid making happen.
Adam is sharing most of the details and getting to the dark twist of the final phone call to her neighbor, hilarious crescent kicks one liner from Ace before “she’s dead!?” and Adam has a killer “she should’ve” line in reply to DAG.
Adam is now riffing about dying before a trip to the gym, DAG takes it to a less sensitive place and Alison takes it back to the complaints.
Alison brings up the “Calorie bombs” and Adam feels her pain as Dag snores, Adam shares his dilemma and the orange glazed everything Chinese takeout that his wife brings home for her and the kids.
Alison is wrapping the news.
Adam is giving some plugs, BB corrects Gary and Adam mocks him for being corrected by a brain tumor guy.
David Alan Grier is being asked to do the Teddy Pendergrass bit and Dag shares a scary joke about a cease and desist order from Teddy’s non-existent estate.
Dag is now doing the riff and killing it, it’s less Improv and more of what Adam says “like you did in the movie” I wonder if this is the exact script or if this is Improv, it’s getting better.
Adam is now wrapping up the show with the great David Alan Grier.