19 Aug Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 08/10/2015 – Rob Huebel, Live from The Gaslamp in Long Beach
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Rob Huebel, Live from The Gaslamp in Long Beach
Recorded 08-06-2015 – Release Date 08-10-2015
Production Number #1639
Adam opens the show Live from Long Beach with Rob Huebel making his 4th appearance, he was first on ACS #100 Uncensored (feat. Rob Huebel & Paul Scheer) which was the first edited episode of the show, due to the conversation about Michael Jackson and his untimely death the next day, then he returned on ACS #325 (Libsyn Archive) before the format change & again in 2014 nearly 4 years later on ACS #1258.
Adam welcomes Rob and the gang to the show, BB plays his drop from the DUI checkpoint riff from last year, Rob of course doesn’t initially recall it.
Adam is now asking him about his new special ‘Crash Test’ and he explains how they arranged it, Adam jokes about being excluded from the stop.
Adam is bringing up a Greg Louganis special he was watching today, regarding his house being foreclosed on and Adam realizes diving isn’t really a job.
Adam is now riffing about diving and how you want something massive or nearly invisible.
Adam is remarking on how great he looked in a speedo at 19, Adam says Mario Lopez beats off to Greg Louganis pictures.
Rob brings up the time Greg hit his head in the pool and bled into it, Adam is confirming that did happen while either forgetting about or choosing to skip over his hilarious joke for Greg’s autobiography “How I Got AIDS in the Pool” from Classic Loveline.
Adam is now complimenting Greg’s form and says he was thinking of the first guy Greg slept with after becoming famous, how excited that guy would be and Adam jokes about some gay guys being born with HIV, hilarious ignorant fake position for comedy, gold.
Adam jokes that Greg’s gay side is his Swedish side and his calves are his Samoan side, Adam is commenting on Rob’s marriage and tells them about Kevin and Bean asking what makes for a successful marriage, Adam jokes about being too lazy to get a divorce.
Adam is talking about his wife being in NYC doing some Mangria business and comments on how it now magically coincides with a live Bruce Springsteen performance for the taping of Jon Stewart’s ‘The Daily Show’ and says his wife isn’t a liar when BB asks him if he bought it.
Adam asks Rob if he would blow Greg Louganis and then takes it back to this trip and asks if this sounds very suspicious, Adam is talking about being home alone with the Nanny and the kids.
Adam says he came home alone to nobody there and talks about having some jerk off time, Rob says he knows the life and explains his wife goes to bed at 7pm for her work in morning traffic reports.
Adam and Rob are both asking who needs traffic news at 430am, Adam jokes people who kill themselves in traffic, and he has a funny Mexican in lanes line that someone in the crowd doesn’t care for.
Adam jokes about Rob having more beat off material.
Adam is now ranting about backup truck beepers and asks if anyone has ever heard them and decided to move.
Adam is back to his nanny car being away, Rob wants to know if Adam immediately goes into Jack off mode, hilarious marine riff.
Adam says he wasn’t in beat his meat mode.
Adam got the news that Olga’s battery went dead and someone needs to go give it a jump at the Ralphs.
Rob asks if Adam fears anyone using his webcam to view him beating off, he jokes about being in great fear of his medium sized cock blowing up the internet.
Adam jokes about buying his nanny a 1984 clay model version of a car, it can’t be drive in the rain, what? Inane riff.
Adam is commenting on people’s inability to follow someone else, Adam told Olga to follow closely and shares how he got 100 yards away and his daughter was in the car to witness his punch the headliner move while asking why the fuck she couldn’t react quicker.
Adam explains the details of her mistake in leaving, BB wants to know what his daughter thought of his histrionics.
Adam is commenting on his daughter being in tears because they had to scrub laser tag for bowling plans and then simply had to watch ‘Jurassic World’ and wraps up the rant talking about his own limited choices and they move on.
Gina says there is a fan who traveled all of the way from Australia for this show, Adam says he’s driving him to the airport tonight and dropping him off, it can’t be just for this.
Adam says he has to be in a medically induced coma until he leaves on Friday, Adam is riffing about the holocaust museum being called ‘The Museum of Tolerance’ and Rob asks him about the latest Mad Max movie.
Lewis is on the mic and Adam is joking about him pulling shit across town, Denny’s or Disneyland.
Adam riffs about how he would react to a SARS outbreak at Disneyland, Adam is asking Lewis about his open comedy relationship and wants to know if he will be seeing other comedians while in Las Vegas.
Adam is commenting on Steve Wynn’s hair that is more than 20yr younger than he is, Adam is commenting on his look.
Adam talks about his first trip to Vegas with Jimmy Kimmel and how they based the whole weekend over a 1.99$ steak dinner.
Adam tells Lewis to introduce his companion as his “Lady friend” as it makes him seem mysterious and classy.
What Can’t Adam Complain About
1st WCACA Hilda, from Beirut.
Adam tells her they’re not impressing us by telling us what their homeland was like in the 1960’s, Adam jokes about a line for people fleeing a country.
Her parents put her through high school with a show repair business, Rob asks if anyone has their shoes repaired in the crowd.
Adam jokes about the high school principals charging foreign parents money to send the kids to public school, Adam ask if her dad is a cobbler, Adam says he’s named after one of the greatest desserts ever invented, he should be proud.
Adam is starting to see where the people who dropped the bombs to make her parents leave are coming from based on how she’s waffling.
Actual WCACA Lynette working hard for Mangria or complain about having a full head of hair and full eyebrows.
Adam says Lynette is probably blowing the boss right now and is lamenting the nose and eyebrow hair, they’re all reacting to a picture of Lynette in NYC with Springsteen.
Adam says he would like to announce to Lynette that he’s going to start following Alan Parsons, Adam is commenting on the banjo string meets pube type hair that grows out of your ear with age.
Rob wants to know if he’s allowed to inform his friends of their arrant hairs, Adam talks about having his eyebrows waxed and asking for the woman to make it look like he’s interested.
Gina has an example of a Chinese waiter with an errant face whisker, Adam is joking about the wide range of smooth baby bottom Asian men’s faces vs. the other market they corner on the crazy long wispy hairs.
Adam offends the Mexicans and Armenians.
2nd WCACA Chris, Adam is riffing about the Mexican guy she’s with the signature Mexican moustache, Adam jokes about her people.
Chris has a line that gets a weird reaction.
She wants to know if Adam can’t complain about Mangria, Adam moves on.
Is Long Beach that long, Adam says it’s simultaneously shitty and nice and wants them to figure it out.
3rd WCACA Pearl, she’s was at the Mangria pub crawl and he wants to move on to ‘Blah Blah Blog’ and tells her she suffers from hot chick syndrome.
World Peace, Adam says it doesn’t exist and is now ranting about how anyone who has ever been sanctimonious about the idea has most likely never worked hard to achieve it.
Adam comments on how everyone at the peace rally are already converted, we need to get the assholes to the peace rally with the guy from ‘Loving Spoonful’ and Adam says world peace would be nice but then what.
Rob thinks porn could eliminate ISIS, Adam says the Middle East is not a good beat off region, he says it’s not the heat nor camel spiders, it’s the lack of actual doors.
“It’s a door less nation” – Adam
Blah Blah Blog
1st Blog Sarah Silverman, Rob Reiner or Kathleen Turner
Everyone weighs in, Adam says Kathleen Turner needs to check with him before she starts blogging.
2nd Blog Norman Lear, Jimmy Carter or Kirk Douglas
Adam asks who is going to apologize for Slavery, Ron Howard. Nope Jim Gaffigan is probably best.
3rd Blog Caitlyn Jenner, Laverne Cox or Audrey Middleton
Dawson says he thinks all three choices are Transgender people in reply to Adam who is arguing this person is trying to placate the Trans community.
Adam is riffing up a storm about adapting the world to Trans people ala handicapped building requirements and now Rob is asking about therapy dogs and Adam takes it back to Transgender people.
4th Blog Bill Maher, Glenn Beck or Barack Obama
Adam recaps the tone of the blog for Rob.
BB takes the win with Glenn beck.
Adam is doing a live read for Stamps.com
1st Story Gina’s top story is lottery tickets being offered at California gas pumps, Adam is now ranting about California gouging people with the gas tax.
Adam is contrasting the cost where he lives to Lincoln Nebraska.
Adam is mocking the “I’m running unopposed” candidates from Junior High and the broken logic of requesting votes.
BB is commenting on people driving off from the pump with the hose still attached to their car, Adam jokes about cars being able to start while a metal dick inside of them.
Rob talks about how they don’t fill up the window wiping fluid now and blame the drought.
Adam is saying that when he’s in charge the gas pump will run a scan on your car against the Kelly Blue Book value and decide if you are allowed to buy a ticket.
2nd Story is on a man who tried to rob a Subway sandwich shop but was ignored by the teenage clerks.
Rob brings up the trouble Subway is in with their former spokesman Jared, Adam mocks their lobster bisque sandwich for 4.99.
Adam is talking about Jared’s crimes and wants to know if he was banging teens in states where it was legal, Adam has a funny “hand to god have sex with a zygote” comment while talking about the age of consent.
Adam is commenting on the net worth of various people, Adam says he’s been told he’s worth 15 million.
3rd Story is on some comments from a famous Sushi chef who explained why he thinks women can’t be sushi chefs.
4th Story is on a lawsuit between a husband and wife after a husband was displeased by his wife’s appearance after seeing her without makeup.
Adam is commenting on how lazy Molly has become regarding using the doggy door.
Adam is mocking the amount of calories he must burn to coax her through the door, he calls her the fucking best.
Adam says the one thing he is doing is giving Molly some kibble today, a 40lb sack.
Adam says he dropped a few bits in her bowl and she was in.
Adam is explaining Molly’s elaborate dietary requirements and the amount of time his wife and Nanny have spent preparing Molly’s meals far exceeds the time spend cooking for him.
Adam comments on his dog smoking people out and trick them, waiting for the good food.
Rob talks about his dumb dog and Adam says that’s what being stupid is like, every day is a new bowl of kibble.
5th Story is on a man who was stuck in the head by his own bullet after trying to shoot an armadillo.
Gina has all of the details and Rob thinks we should be wearing armadillo based clothing and Adam thinks the guy should have lied and claimed he was a hero instead of admitting he was shooting a defenseless thing he didn’t want to eat.
Adam says they do make armadillo chili, he thinks you could make chili anything even tampon chili.
Hilarious Tampon Chili closer.
Gina wraps the news.
Adam asks if they think the armadillo has any idea what even happened with its armor and that dude who shot it.
Everyone is asking about Armadillos, he’s now ranting at Lewis about Australia being weird about outside animals and pets.
Adam is doing a SimpliSafe Live Read
Adam is giving out the lugs and wrapping up the show, funny ‘Crash Test’ plug joking about Adam not being asked to be a part of it.