14 Jul Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 07/14/2016 – Mary Roach and Vinnie Tortorich
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Mary Roach and Vinnie Tortorich
Recorded 07-13-2016 – Release Date 07-14-2016
Production Number #1859
Dam opens the show to a variant on the “Netflix and Chill” saying for today’s intro, Adam welcomes BB and Gina to the show along with Vinnie T.
BB has a drop of Vinnie professing that he’s not a comedian, Adam is immediately bringing up ‘Greatest Hits’ with David Wild and Arsenio and he says Arsenio only speaks for about 9 words per show, he mocks the notion of him being paid to be a host.
Adam is now setting up a clip of Wiz Khalifah and LL Cool J, Adam is saying he’s not going to count the part where you’re pointing at Jesus’s Balls nor the part where you’re grunting “yeah” nothing just anyone could do counts.
Adam is doing live commentary over LL’s “Step Aerobics Class” and Adam says if you’re listening there is another person stage with him, Adam having Gary stop it, he stops it instead using his button.
Vinnie says “I thought that was Snoop” and Gina admonishes him with Adam “oh Vinnie!” and they play out some more of the show, Adam mocks Vinnie and says “they all look alike, I get it” holy shit!
Adam is talking about how Tammy Wynette and Jewel would approach their hypothetical performance in heaven in comparison to this one sided performance.
Adam asks how many seconds they got out of Wiz, Adam says he can do the hands in the air part, that’s not difficult.
Gary is now explaining this is now a Wiz Khalifah song that LL is opening for him ‘We Dem Boyz’ which Adam immediately corrects and jokes about being a Typo, unaware it’s the opening theme to the podcast ‘Race Wars’ and they go back to the clip of LL rapping Wiz Khalifah’s song for him.
Adam has a Paul Simon analogy and Adam is now correcting Gary on the track, saying this next song is ‘We Dem Boyz’ and Adam mocks Vinnie and says he’s set in his ways.
Adam asks how many minutes we’re now in to the performance and how much time Wiz has spent on mic doing something, Adam asks how he wipes his own ass and lights his own cigarette when alone.
Adam is saying the loop was pre-recorded and the mic was by Wiz’s side, BB chimes in and Adam once again pots it down, he says he took a tally and used his stopwatch, he says he clocked it at 29 seconds of Wiz doing his thing alone over two full songs.
Adam says he’s so jealous of Wiz and Adam had Gary promise to remind him to bring this up next time David Wild is in studio.
Adam is doing a Tommy John Live Read
The Tort, King of the Tort’s will back me up over here – Adam
Adam teases a goulash story involving Mike August.
Adam says he has another story he forgot to share with the gang and the audience, Adam prefaces it with his lover for Hungarian food and Goulash, he praises sauerkraut and claims there must be an embargo on the stuff in Los Angeles, it’s not convenient and Vinnie misses the point and promises to bring some in for Adam from his local market.
Adam is talking about the time they spent in Amsterdam and he jokes about Mike August asking for a western omelet which doesn’t exist there, Adam is simultaneously stunned and amazed at his hubris and ponders his possible batting average with that move.
Mike August claimed that every country has their own version of goulash, Adam says they have soup, not goulash, that’s specifically Hungarian and Dawson is on mic sharing how long this argument went on for and Chris joins him with the tangent about stew, Dawson says he dipped back to finish a joint from the night before.
Adam is now joking about the scene from ‘Planes, Trains and Automobiles’ with the wrong side of the road gag, Chris is on mic and he shares how August yelled at a concerned woman advising him about the right side of the road.
He even used the “world war back to back champs” line and Vinnie is shocked, holy shit.
Rotten or Fresh – The Rotten Tomatoes Game
Atchity ’less edition
Undercover Themed Movies
Adam is doing a Stamps.com Live Read
1st Movie ‘Reservoir Dogs’ (1992)
Adam talks about seeing this with his late buddy Philip the Juggler and shares how back in the day you would see movies based on proximity to you and shares his reaction without any preexisting information.
Dawson goes over the score and Adam jokes about a 10-point deduction for matching the audience score, trying to steal an extra 5 points and he mocks people who try and pull shit like that off.
2nd Movie ‘Undercover Brother’ (2002)
Adam recalls Eddie Griffin appearing on LoveLine around this time and is trying to conjure what the critics scored it, BB says they made a sequel and Adam calls him on it, they didn’t and BB does that loud humming thing he does that nobody likes, don’t growl at the audience over your trivia mistakes BB!
Gary is on mic and thinks it’s an SNL sketch that predates the concept, mixing this up with ‘The Ladies Man’ and them on as Adam says Gary is now equal to BB.
3rd Movie ‘White chicks’ (2004)
Vinnies is shell-shocked from the last round and Adam says he would make a horrible Wayans brother, he says he would be terrible at starring in a makeup heavy film and the notion of getting in the chair first thing in the morning is insane.
Adam recaps everyone’s guesses.
4th Movie ‘American Hustle (2013)
Adam liked it but felt like it was too aware of its own cleverness and Adam brings up The Shawshank Redemption and contrast that film against this one for how it made him feel.
Adam is reacting to the huge success.
5th Movie ‘Two Guns’ (2013)
Adam reacts to this bizarre game and Dawson gives BB his win with a mere 24 points, Adam tells him to have fun bragging to his Korean neighbors about the win, he’s going back to the lily white neighborhood.
Adam has a hilarious use of Mitsuk and BB corrects him on his neighbor’s actual Korean name.
Adam is bringing up a Mediterranean diet news item he heard and brings up the consumption of pasta, Vinnie says it’s a conflation of two stories, he says he discovered that Barilla funded the supposed Pasta study.
Vinnie has another similar story of a high fructose corn syrup study and Adam jokes about Gina doing Anal after they talk about her losing weight, Vinnie says “reverse cowboy” and Adam asks BB how he’s doing with his weight loss, good…
Adam and Gina react to cereals including the vitamins and nutrients from milk in their ingredients.
Adam has a clip of Mary Roach’s book talking about bird strikes in jet engines and a Bird Avoidance Model called B.A.M. and they all listen to it without commentary.
Adam talks about why he likes the NTSB and the reactions that human beings have to air disasters in order to prevent more of them, why can’t we turn that effort and energy onto other topics, he says get the smart folks who don’t look good in their underpants to work on these other things.
Adam is talking about the square shaped windows that used to be used in some models of aircraft and he explains why they were all replaced with egg shaped windows.
Adam is now going to the calls.
Q and Ace
1st Caller Abraham, he’s calling about the Hilary Clinton discussion from yesterday and he brings up the “I’m with her” slogan, he wants to know if there are any photos of Bill standing next to an attractive woman with the shirt on.
Adam says this is a uniquely dude thing to scour the internet for such a photo, no chick would do this.
2nd Caller Jeff says he found out that cops make around 170k average per year and the firefighters make about 200k, Adam talks about the DROP program and how that’s the real scam.
Adam says he was talking to a friend of the family who was younger than him and was set to retire with full pay, Adam would prefer a world where people just got their money and put it away themselves, he doesn’t like the part where the government takes it and decides for you.
Vinnie talks about his parents who are getting paid and haven’t worked in over 25 years, Adam mocks that financial model, people who haven’t’ worked in two decades getting full freight and pay still.
Adam asks if any of us have that opportunity and he says your public servant, you can’t have financially what almost nobody in the private sector can enjoy, Adam says that the caller is adding in overtime and benefits to inflate the total.
Adam is recalling the series ‘Pacific Blue’ and Mario Lopez, it ran from 1996 to 2000.
Adam doesn’t recall how many of the cast members guested on LoveLine, Gary is now weighing in and they are talking about the B roll of chicks in bikinis.
Adam is now recalling a different LoveLine but gets distracted with a Donna D’Errico riff with BB mocking her for drinking too much white wine and her inability to say her own name as has been covered on this show previously.
Adam is now mixing up Donna with Alexandra Paul who claimed David Hasselhoff was launching ‘Baywatch Nights’ as it was “about the art” and he mocks the preposterous notion again now 18 years later, wow!
Listen to Alexandra and her Sister Caroline the firefighter, whoa topical!
Adam is mocking ‘Baywatch Nights’ and how he asked Alexandra about the show, Adam says he remembers specifically it was because he was doing it for the art, but he remembers the wrong person.
Adam wraps up with Vinnie and they head to break.
They’re back form break with Mary Roach making her ACS debut after a listener voicemail from a guy who stole ‘Road Hard’ from the library, he’s asking Mary how she embarked on her whole series of books.
Mary talks about writing for Salon.com and how that led to writing books, Gina read the cadaver book and says she thought it was going to be a scary book.
Adam tells her about the bird strike clip they played from her book ‘Grunt’ and he asks her what else is covered and what we learn from the research.
She talks about maggots as therapy for cleaning wounds, Adam talks about the guys in the middle east dealing with extreme heat and giant spiders.
Adam asks how she picks the topics for her books, she says she was reporting on the hottest chili pepper eating contest and saw some military science related to the pepper that got her curious.
Adam talks about the crazy plans of the Japanese to set the northwest on fire using incendiary bombs in the jet stream, using the forest fire to distract the U.S. and Adam talks about the one kid who was blown up by one of the bombs outside of Portland.
Mary immediately has a “here’s what the U.S. did that’s just bad” counter point instead of just asking more follow ups about something she admitted to having 0 knowledge about.
Mary shares the details of militarized dolphins and Adam recalls a movie with a similar premise with George C. Scott.
Gina says security crows and Mary tells them about being scared off by a bird, Adam asks her about some of the most bizarre things she found.
She is telling them about a guy in the Spanish American war who had an idea to drain blood from dead bodies for battlefield transfusions.
Adam brings up the modern argument to bring back the guillotine and Mary is now sharing how they have done some studies as covered in her book ‘Stiff’ and BB says he’s very into this topic and he’s done a lot of research, ok John Wayne Gacy calm down!
Mary is now sharing the actual results where a guy supposedly gave a signal that he was still alive after his head was cut off.
Adam is now saying bye to the guillotine and going full firing squad, Adam says your nose doesn’t get that close to wicker and they go into a live read.
Adam is doing a Legal Zoom Live Read
Adam plugs Mary’s book and tells people to click through on Amazon, only Click Through!
1st Story is on some of the most absurd places that people are trying to catch Pokémon inside of, Gary gets on mic and he explains that every church is a “gym” and people are congregating outside of them.
Adam asks if the people who came up with this augmented reality geocaching game didn’t know this might happen, Gary talks about how they plan to monetize this through rare Pokémon available only in exclusive locations.
Adam says he has felt this way about many things in history, he says a wrist rocket and a walnut tree was the best thing ever and he says you could fire the green walnut 500 feet in the air and wait for it to land on the car while taking cover to watch it.
BB says this is a weird way to get around Chris Hansen and Adam references his old-school version of child rape and they don’t fully explain it to Mary.
2nd Story is on the federal investigation into Charlie Sheen for writing off prostitutes and Adam says the government are bucking rapists and pimps in this equation and Charlie a junkie/sex addict who is about 80 million in the good to the government, he doesn’t need to give more than that.
Adam says his mom needs to chip in and asks if we can’t have a 50 million club where an individual can get some leeway, no jail, no threats, the benefit of doubt and kind treatment.
Adam commons on the people who have been employed by Charlie Sheen, Adam says anyone who is an earner is in, suckers are out.
Adam comments on Emilio Estevez and how he’s done in comparison to his brother and he comments on the ‘Anger Management’ deal and Gary gets on mic to clarify.
Adam says Charlie Sheen is at 300 million or more, Adam jokes about Charlie Sheen having an arc on ‘Pacific Blue’ while mocking Gary the expert in late 90’s USA network TV.
3rd Story is on Jennifer Aniston’s Huffington Post article about how tabloids exploit her life and are putting forward a limited and sexist view on famous women, Adam is now arguing about the whole “Are you pregnant” stories and asks why she needs to lash out.
Gina defends Jennifer and Adam talks about being a rich person and chillaxing in your castle in Malibu, staring the mirror naked.
Gina brings up the zoom lens photos of Jennifer and Adam gives his take on how it should be illegal to photograph celebrities the same way it is for private citizens.
Gina references “Sugar Tits” and Adam says “Monkey Nipples” and Adam says that Jennifer is talented but has also traded on her looks for 25 years and this goes along with the success.
Adam is now sharing an Apple Stand analogy using Mary to make his point and Mary is talking about how people want attention up until a certain point in their career, Adam talks about the airline passenger manifest and how someone always leaks it.
Adam jokes about the guy with his Death from family Guy stills being at the airport in Minneapolis waiting for him on the days he’s not even flying into there.
Adam is doing a True Car Live Read
4th Story is on the just released ‘Sully’ trailer which Gina plays for Adam after giving it a quick recap.
Adam says he’s going to watch that and they move on.
5th Story is on Lamar Odom being removed from a flight after he vomited and then returned to the plane, Adam talks about who is the #1 celebrity you would want to sit next to who was vomiting.
Adam wants a regular size person, no Wee Man or Dinklage mentions.
Adam says pick a male, Adam says the first name that popped in his head is George Takei, Adam says not a lot would come out and he would super apologetic.
Mary picked Pee-Wee Herman and Gina picked Zac Efron, BB goes with Troy Polamalu and would consider it and honor, wow that’s gross dude.
BB is really into this getting puked on by a dude thing, he really likes USC way too much.
Adam is doing a SimpliSafe Live Read
6th Story is on the new series ‘Finding Prince Charming’ and Gina asks Adam about this show being hosted by Lance Bass, Adam says nobody is beating him up nor desecrating his Miata.
Adam says people in American need to take a break from beating themselves up, Adam says he told Polish jokes growing up and never had a feeling about anyone who is polish.
Adam is now talking about Obama’s speech where he tried to get everyone to agree they have racist thoughts; Adam says if people all have these thoughts than we’re all pretty fucking good as they never act on them.
Adam says we’re pretty awesome for the low amount of hate crimes in the face of what the president describes as the America we live in, Adam doesn’t get the part where we’re trying to convince the majority of the population that it’s gut check time, Adam doesn’t plant ideas in his kids head and doesn’t act on racist thoughts he doesn’t have.
Adam is further saying he agrees with the president and praises the American populace, Gina wraps the news.
Adam is doing a Life Lock Live Read
Identify theft, it’s bigger than Pokémon – Adam
Adam, wraps up the show and gives out the plugs
Gina won’t be on the cruise but she’s very sorry and if anything changes she might be able to make it.
Adam plugs Mary’s book and he says he likes the cut of her jib, she giggles her way through the show closing and thanks him.