18 Jul Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 07/13/2015 – Dana Gould, Live from The Hard Rock Hotel and Casino Las Vegas
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Dana Gould, Live from The Hard Rock Hotel and Casino Las Vegas
Recorded 07-10-2015 – Release Date 07-13-2015
Production Number #1614
Adam opens the show with a life read for Draft Kings
Adam teases the live show with Dana Gould and the Q and Ace segment scheduled to be recorded, he plugs Mangria and his wife Lynette who is in charge of the social media for the entire brand and company.
Adam plugs the Archive and Take a Knee, Gary gets on mic to quote my math on the over 96 days of audio available in the archive, thanks for the shout out and credit GPS!
Adam jokes about someone killing themselves before making it through the entire history of the ACS (so far) and he throws it to the show with a funny quote.
Dawson welcomes Adam, Gina, BB and Dana Gould to the first of 4 live Vegas ACS shows, recorded over 2 nights.
BB is bragging about his craps run, he was crushing it on the table and he’s getting a mic for Rob who witnessed how BB crushed it.
BB has a killer “the chips were so black they were purple one liner” after Adam accuses him of racism, Adam plugs Dana’s website and tells the audience about his flight in.
This is Dana’s 26th appearance on the show.
Adam is talking about the flight attendant who gave him a beer as she was simultaneously trying to take it away.
Adam jokes about butt funneling it and they move onto peanut dust and nut free flights on Southwest, Adam is riffing and they get to the brined eggs in bars and Dan says he’s never seen anyone eat one and his dad worked in a bar.
Adam says if you ask for nuts or ketchup you always get the “fuck you” pillowcase full in return, Adam brings up the pickled eggs floating in brine at bars.
Dana shares that his father was a bar tender and he’s never seen one ordered, Adam riffs about the eggs being a test to reveal alcoholics, whomever orders it must need an intervention.
Adam talks about the anti-Donald Trump protests he discussed on Kevin and Bean, he says that unlike all modern presidents Trump owns his own courses so at least he’d save us some money.
Adam brings up the almost 800 rounds of golf Eisenhower played while in office.
Q and Ace
1st Question from Bill, he wants to know how to get your wife off your back regarding your exes, Adam says he thinks that Lynette views him as Undateable and finds out she’s out front selling merch, he gets her on mic to tell him about the pot of coffee she ordered.
She says it was August’s money and then quotes Natalia as she gets off mic, very classy.
Bill shares his real world pussy potential and Adam tells him to pull out his high school year book picture and use that to prove how unlikely the idea of him having many partners is/was.
Adam and Dana riff a bit and it’s quite funny.
2nd Question from Sam, he wants to know the last person on earth Adam would want to be stuck in an elevator with, he shares his own fear of outdoor/exposed elevators.
Dana shares his riff about his fear of being stuck in an elevator and having to poop, he gets to a funny skeleton image and Adam contribute some and genuinely cracks Dana up.
Adam is telling his trapped in an elevator story where the technician he reached was in Whittier and Adam shares how he climbed out through the half opening.
Adam was willing to risk being chopped in half over waiting for the guy to get there from Whittier, Dana riffs about call centers, Gina contributes some follow up material.
3rd Question from Joni, she wants to know if Adam is going to document the construction of his new envelope house, he confirms he will be doing that so he can recoup some of the expenses.
Adam talks about all of the high quality materials that come out of Germany, hilarious oven parts comment, holy shit!
Adam is talking about things like bowling alleys and water slides losing their value when you have them in your home.
Dana gives his take on home theaters and mentions ‘Omega Man’ and Lynette gets on mic to explain that Adam always says yes to everything Natalia asks for.
Adam says she doesn’t know bullshit yet and Dana brings up the “fun size” reality of life, Dana is riffing about Adam’s daughter’s impressive designs for the new home.
Joni’s 2nd question is about the health status of Molly, Lynette is now on mic explaining that Molly has tumors on her anus and Dana says so does Sasha Grey, Lynette says it’s time and there is nothing to do.
BB says this is a private conversation, Adam asks if this is it for Molly and Lynette says it is, when they get back home.
Say goodbye to Molly, Adam says he just learned this information in real time, Adam is unsure what to tell the children, Dana jokes about saying she left because they’re not good kids.
Adam shares his D.C. Sniper idea for empowering kids, Adam has a killer one liner about the looks of his bedroom in comparisons to the LaBianca house.
Adam does a Dollar Shave Club Live Read
Adam tells Gina to cut any news about his dog’s bloody asshole
Gina’s News
1st Story is on a former inmate who was awarded a settlement after an untreated priapism while in custody left him without a functioning penis.
Gina is asking about the average time an erection lasts, Dana calls bullshit on her not knowing.
Adam is asking for follow up details and jokes about his relatives not wanting any of his engorged blood money.
2nd Story is on Kanye West performing for a crowd including a guy sporting a sign with a screengrab of his wife Kim Kardashian from her sext tape.
Everyone is weighing in, Adam jokes that once we’ve seen hardcore porn footage of we no longer need seductive photographs of you.
Adam is now riffing about Ray J which leads to the Miller TV commercials with Ray J. Johnson, Dana brings up ‘Cupcake Wars’ and goes on an extended riff, Adam is talking about cupcakes in general, he says they last and have a long shelf life.
Adam is now discussing the cake to frosting ration that renders bacteria inert and slows decomposition.
Funny riff.
3rd Story is on the KKK giving out promotional material, Adam jokes about putting out the materials and the grand Dragon/wizard who put him up to it.
Adam wants the pecking order for the Klan, like scientology or herbal life and Dana riffs with him.
Dana asks if Klan ghosts must wear another sheet over their supremacy sheet.
Adam is talking about the over compensation of magicians, Dana is riffing up a storm and Adam asks for a picture of Doug Henning and jokes about the cameraman alerting him to some semen in his moustache.
Adam talks about the Doug Henning commercial for Chrysler, they play the commercial after Adam and Dana further riff about him.
Dana brings up Kenny G. and explains what an awesome guy he is despite not being into his music, Adam talks about how being a scratch golfer you get that accredited to you like an accomplishment.
Adam brings up doctors without borders and Dana riffs about doctors without boundaries.
4th Story is about a stunt being practiced for Criss Angel’s new stage show when another performer became stuck, she has all of the details of Criss coming to the rescue.
Adam is now bringing up Criss’s 2005 Classic Loveline. WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 19, 2005 – GUEST: CRISS ANGEL • HOST: ADAM, DR. DREW
Adam is telling them about the “pot tin” forks(spoon) he brought in with him, they all riff about Uri Gellar and Adam says magicians are the guys who least need a costume or outfit.
Adam is telling them about talking DAG into seeing Siegfried and Roy a few months before the tiger attack during the show.
5th Story is on a Florida man who was fired after a dumb joke on Facebook about marrying your dog, Adam is now asking if you indeed engage in bestiality you don’t joke about it on Facebook.
Adam says he’s a student of psychology and asks if this isn’t a horrible world we’ve created where bosses can fire you for shit done off the clock, Gina has a killer one liner in reply.
Dana is telling them about the Mr. Hands zoophile case, BB seems to have the details but nobody lets him weigh in.
6th Story is on Taco Bell’s new delivery service, Adam is saying they’re trying to make our livers explode, he riffs about their evolution to delivery after inventing ‘4th Meal’ and Adam jokes about Taco Bell being part of Mexico’s master plan to reclaim California by making us too obese to fight back.
Adam suspects this is somehow tied to a weed delivery business and comments on how Taco Bell cannot be consumed while at room temperature, Gina says most of the items on the menu are dehydrated and they add water to them.
Adam jokes about gay code in craigslist ads and Adam talks about the classic fire pit outside of Taco Bell franchises.
Adam recalls the halcyon days of the ‘Bell Beefer’ and asks if kids will ever know the simple joy of a straw and wrapper.
Dana brings up Creepy Crawlers and Adam now describes them, Adam says that Dana and he must’ve been born the same day and year, nobody else knows these.
Adam isn’t aware of their re-launch in the 1990’s and moderate success.
Gina wraps up the news and Adam is asking Dana about buying a creepy crawler oven and Adam talks about all of the guys he knew who owned a moped had the signature exhaust burn on their inner calf.
Adam is doing a Castrol Live Read
Adam dedicates the show to Molly girl, he says she is the sweetest and describes how kind she is, this is a sad and beautiful tribute and he shows the crowd a photo of his dog Molly looking through the bars at the top of the stairs.
Adam wraps up the show.