12 Jul Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 07/12/2013 – Irvine Improv
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Irvine Improv
Recorded 07-11-2013 – Release Date 07-12-2013
Production Number #1119
Adam is opening the show live from Irvine for a rare sans guest ACS, BB has a nice DAG scream #TopDrop.
Adam is teasing “What Can’t Adam Complain About” and Adam is offering up an early candidate explaining how he got a parking ticket yesterday, I wonder if it was during the Road Hard press conference, what Larry Miller was referencing.
Adam is explaining how he did the math on the parking ticket and how it would be more than entire days’ pay for a minimum wage employee.
Adam is now explaining that he was parked behind the restaurant he co-owns and not in the alley nor on the street, so he was getting ticket mid show yesterday.
Adam is now asking if anyone else has experienced the pain of a ticket while parked in front of their own house.
Adam is asking in apocalyptic terms what events like this mean, Adam is now remarking on the photo snapped of his vehicle being ticketed while he was on stage.
Adam is now joking about a hypothetical “I already started” beating for one of these traffic goons, comedy gold!
Reginald VelJohnson is now once again being referenced for the 3rd time in 2 weeks, BB seems to appreciate it appropriately.
Adam’s on a great riff about the type of people who choose to work in parking enforcement.
Adam has an amazing “Delta Force” reference while joking about POW’s, he’s now explaining how POW’s are somewhat of an abandoned plot element in movies and why.
Adam is telling the gang about his internal deliberation after seeing a Cessna aircraft with a sponsorship flag, he’s assuming they’re the butt of every pilot joke and asking if they have a quick release switch complete with an almost whistling self-satisfied sniff.
They’re riffing about Randy Quaid from “Independence Day” as Adam describes the “drunken crop duster” persona.
Adam is asking who is in better shape Randy or his character from ID4, Adam loses his shit, nice work BB comedy gold!
Adam is now proposing a “who has fucked themselves up more” celebrity competition, citing Nick Nolte and Rip Torn along with Jan Michael Vincent, I hope Mike Lynch fleshes this one out!
What Can’t Adam Complain About
1st Topic, Bald Bryan’s Drops.
Adam is blaming Sonny’s drops for his kids already giving up on reasonable goals for their future, BB jokes about not making a living in the drop game.
Adam is now riffing about a hypothetical conversation he thinks he should have with his kids about how they won’t be cute forever and might want to adjust their behavior/plans to compensate.
Adam is back to the drops explaining why they can be a double edged sword, Alison is jumping in to agree citing the dirty Olivia Munn texts from her news segment.
BB is now playing the “Fuck my pussy bro” back and forth between Adam and A-Rose, it never loses its hilarity.
2nd topic, Urinal Dividers, Adam is explaining up top why he loves them, he’s explaining how he’s about 6’3” in a pair of boots and is able to get a “Wilson” from Home Improvement POV of the neighboring gent’s genitalia.
Adam is now joking about an alternative for 3 foot urinal dividers by placing the divider all the way up, Adam’s “Anonymous cock” riff, comedy gold!
Alison is offering her POV and asking why they even have them if they’re so ineffective at providing privacy.
Adam is now ranting about the pitch found on top of toilet seats and urinals that always fools you into a false sense of beer placement security, with comedy like this they don’t even need guests for the live shows.
Adam is now doing a poll of the audience when it comes to wheelchairs, he’s making a point about the regulations requiring a handicapped stall and how the funds could be better spent with more dividers to cater to the majority of participants.
Adam is now on a “glass half full” tangent about wheelchairs being essentially rolling toilets, BB has a great appreciation for this hilarious series of quotes and Alison wants to know how many turds it takes to get to the center of self-soiling comfort.
3rd topic, WD-40
Adam is explaining why men love the smell of the product and how it smells like “progress”.
Adam is sharing his ideas for WD-40 deodorant, talc and body wash, Alison has a great point that Adam tops with a killer one liner about “marauding mechanics”, so vivid!
Adam is sharing his “Two Percent closer to Pussy” theory.
Adam is now getting to his complaints, he’s picking on the WD-40 can redesign that changed the little red straw and even (sorry) Alison agrees that was the best part of the design.
Adam is going off on the old design and the method of using scotch tape to secure the red straw, hilarious riff about what the missing straw was misappropriated for and funny back and forth with BB when pubes come into the riff mix.
Adam is bringing up his “do black people pronounce Axe deodorant as Ask?” question.
Alison is now having a flashback to Adam igniting the starter fluid live in studio and Adam just invented water soluble WD-40 for a hybrid product.
Adam just referenced the Eddie Bauer edition Ford Explorer, how specific.
BB brought the Taco Bell “Doritos” shell into the mix and now Adam is running with it.
Adam’s line about “delighting your gynecologist” and follow up question from the hypothetical gynecologist are some of the funniest things ever uttered on a podcast.
Adam ignited the Starter Fluid on ACS #497(P.N. #829) with guest Teresa Strasser from May 23rd of 2012, which you obtain via the Official Archive and you can watch the video of via the Official Adam Carolla YouTube Channel.
Adam and Alison are riffing about the conversions between the metric system, Adam has what BB mistakes for a chambered “Fuck You” but Adam is actually “Yes and’ing” A-rose.
Adam is sharing an anecdote of watching the documentary “Senna” and how the kilometers used in the documentary confused him in the middle of his mildly buzzed evening.
Alison wants Adam’s take on knots and he’s now really going off, connecting it to the recent news story regarding the Asiana flight.
Adam is explaining how we’re in the middle getting pummeled by both measurement systems and why he needs two sets of socket wrenches for his automotive work.
Adam is explaining how he’s exhausted his entire catalog of “metric material” and they’re now going into the news.
Alison’s News
Some of Bryan’s best timed “Out Of Context Alison Drops” during the news song, I can’t stop laughing, good work BB!
Her top story is about a company that installs “porn blockers” on smartphones, she’s explaining the addict like reasoning many of the customers use the service and how surprising it is the majority of customers aren’t doing this for the phones of minors.
Adam is now riffing about this “stop me before I jack again” nature of this idea, he’s connecting it to all werewolf movies ever, and this is gold!
Adam is now sharing an anecdote about a live tour through Sacramento where he was trying to use his iPad for some alone time, BB is perplexed as to why Adam went to the bathroom, this is great!
Adam is further riffing about the probably reactions by many of the customers who change their mind once they get outside of their refractory period, Alison is riffing right along as the phone representative.
2nd story is about a son who stabbed his father with scissors and the sawed his own hands off with a radial arm saw, nice Eli Roth reference and Alison’s reaction echoes Adam’s once it’s explained for her.
Adam’s joke answers about what she thought the saw was going to be made of or look like is pretty great.
Adam is connecting this to the crazy spiral society seems to be in, he’s asking the gang if they think society is spinning out due to our brains turning on themselves due to excessive free time and options.
Adam just attempted a sniff and thinks he may have ingested the essence of Jo Koy.
Adam is explaining how he knows there isn’t a god for a single reason, he’s now sharing his early wake up atheism theory.
Adam is sharing his reaction from earlier in the morning to the alarm waking him up for a morning radio show tour, he’s joking about how the word “nation” clues you in to the type of program you’re on.
Adam and Alison are lamenting morning people and morning workout/swim people, Adam is working in people who can spend a night out drinking and follow it up with an early morning wake up.
Adam is now suggesting another “Twilight Zone”-esque scenario where he makes a giant douchebag smoothie out of all the people who annoy him.
Alison wants to know if morning people are miserable at night in contrast to their cheery attitudes about waking up in the morning.
Adam is lumping his dad into the mix of these type of guys, citing his early morning breakfast requests during the peak of Adam’s loveline era.
Adam is now combatting the “Why don’t you just go to bed” response from people who used to tell him to go to sleep right after getting home from work.
He’s going in depth riffing on his talks with his dad about the breakfast time, “go and wait for Denny’s to open” gold!
Alison is asking if Drew is one of these guys and now Adam is using Drew’s response about his morning rounds as which eventually led to the story of the time Adam requested a listener drive him to the airport.
Adam is explaining how Drew would claim he was in bed by 12:30am without hyperbole.
Adam is now telling the gang about his snuggle time with Sonny and his various stuffed animals, Alison’s reactions are priceless.
Adam is now explaining how Sonny is prideful of his pull-ups and will have to rock the pink ones abandoned by Natalia a year ago, Adam is calling for a unisex grey/prison garb diaper.
3rd story is on the death of the inventor of “Twister”
Adam and Alison are Sympatico on the game and how it never leads to fund despite the claims.
Adam is calling it the only board game that has the possibility of turning sexual, nice battleship one liners and an even superior Lincoln logs bit.
BB assumes it must have been a game Adam played as a kid as met his parents criteria, Adam is explaining that the familial joy on the box acted as enough of a deterrent for the Carolla’s.
Adam is sharing an anecdote of coaching Sonny and the kids along with Coach Mike.
They’re going over the various childhood games they did play, Adam and BB are now reminiscing about “Smear the Queer” and Alison wants to know more about the game and its premise/rules.
Adam is now walking Alison through “North Hollywood Rules” Smear the Queer and BB is telling him it sounds more like “Butt’s up”.
They’re wrapping the news, doing a live read, giving plugs and wrapping the show with announcements about the NYC live podcast guests, a couple of them anyway.