14 Jul Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 07/11/2016 – Frank Mir and Nick Richie, Live from Treasure Island in Las Vegas
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Frank Mir and Nick Richie, Live from Treasure Island in Las Vegas
Recorded 07-08-2016 – Release Date 07-11-2016
Production Number #1855
Adam opens the show with canned intro, he’s doing some live reads.
Adam is doing a Life Lock Live Read
Adam explains they did this Friday night before UFC #200 which happened on Saturday, he comments on the predictions made and introduces the episode.
Adam opens the show to a “What happens in Vegas” intro that is actually quite clever, Adam has some early mic confusion and welcomes Gina Grad, BB and Frank Mir UFC Legend and Co-host of the excellent Phone Booth Fighting Podcast with Richard Hunter.
Adam was on Phone Booth Fighting #31 which is wear the promised sparring session with the focus pads was first pitched, luckily I got Adam’s assistant to make sure to add them to the calendar so they didn’t forget them when packing Adam’s stuff for the flight.
Adam is asking Frank about taking last minute fights in light of Anderson Silva stepping forward to challenge Daniel Cormier.
Frank tells them about a couple examples, Adam is now joking about Frank’s uncomfortable cab ride to the casino.
Adam is asking Frank about Jon Jones and fighters saying they don’t know what they ingested after testing positive, Adam is either unaware of has forgotten that Frank is dealing with this exact issue, why didn’t Nick brief him!?
Frank ate some possibly tainted meat prior to his Mark Hunt Fight in Australia, he is now facing a two-year suspension for it and might never compete inside the UFC again after asking to be released from his contract, Frank doesn’t get into the dark reality of his situation but is able to comment on how strict USADA is and where he disagrees with their methods he thinks if you can prove you didn’t do it on purpose they should remove any suspension as in the case of Yoel Romero.
Adam is kind of putting his foot in his mouth unaware of the elephant in the room, I wonder if Frank knows he’s not fucking with him, Adam must be frazzled from all of this travel and the remodel at his house.
Adam jokes about enjoying a Shamrock shake before his UFC bouts, he dubs it the Ken Shamrock shake.
Frank is further telling them about Yoel Romero and Adam is now riffing about Cubans unaware that Frank is Cuban.
Adam brings up the boxer who tested positive for marijuana and had his belt stripped, he says it’s not a performance enhancing drug and Frank says he’s for it being illegal to be high while in the ring but out of competition he seems to be cool with it.
Adam brings up the walk out and Frank says it’s the most intense part of fighting and what makes him the most nervous but since he’s won a title he usually comes out 2nd.
Adam says he feels the same way about first class travel and jokes about his walk out dong being ‘MMMBop’ and Frank says he walks out to songs his kids pick, they like popular music and get good taste from their mother.
Frank mentions his eldest son who is in his twenties, but is his wife’s from her previous relationship.
Adam is informed that Frank is Cuban and Adam is now talking about his daughter singing into her hairbrush and repeating filthy lyrics she’s unaware of the meaning to, “you want me boy” riff.
Gina asks BB to grab something and Adam gets distracted, Frank talks about trying to change the station when Nicky Minaj songs come on and he doesn’t want the kids brains scrambled by such outward and explicit sexual innuendo and lyrics.
Adam is now riffing about Frank using the fact that he tapped out Brock Lesnar to get by in life, return recliners etc.
Adam asks if Brock was making a noise, ha-ha!
Frank talks about his history of breaking bones in the UFC and how he reacts when someone is tapping vs. trying to not tap, he talks about choking guys out and needing to get referrer confirmation.
The crowd react to Frank’s knee bar on Brock Lesnar.
Frank says limbs are like breaking a popsicle stick and Adam jokes about Frank further describing it, he thought it was going in another direction but it went in the exact direction that didn’t make him feel better about his limbs.
Frank is now giving his prediction on Brock vs. Hunt, Adam jokes about Hunt being Samoan and having super skinny calves as the stereotype suggests, oh no wait a moment…
Adam asks Frank about dodging fights and avoiding opponents which Frank clearly does not do, not ever based on his career.
Frank gives his take on what you have to gain by fighting a top level guy vs. and unknown guy who could just as easily beat you.
Adam teases Gina TSA story and Adam says he got a chance to do something he’s never been able to do; BB has a nice showering joke but Adam swam today so in your face bald guy!
Adam says he saw the baggage handler at Southwest slamming bags on the conveyer belt, almost intentionally trying to slam the soft side, it was like the fucking Highland games for this guy.
Adam says the guy’s feet were coming off of the ground and Adam observes how insane it is that man goes through his life that way, Adam would have tipped him if he could have.
Gina shares her experience at LAX airport, she witnessed a couple and their daughter trying to get through the TSA checkpoint, Gina says she immediately got her camera out to record it.
Gina describes their awful and ridiculous behavior forcing a child barely able to walk to enter and exit a TSA checkpoint solo.
Adam talks about how history will view this era of humanity, he’s got a hilarious virgin in Volcano and leeches used as medicine riff.
Adam is continuing to mock our current society through a valance of someone in the future telling their son about a bygone time, BB is jumping in as his son and Gina chimes in too, Adam brings up the overlord a fat chick named Shirley who is angry at the world.
Adam jokes about Frank tuning out, he asks him about the last minute addition of Anderson Silva for UFC #200, Adam talks about how you need a big name and probably have to back up the Brinks truck, Frank doesn’t think the payday was as large as you would think.
Adam says forget the fight but what about having to get in your underpants in front of anyone with two days’ notice, Adam would need much more time.
Adam asks if Frank ever had a fight fall apart, he says the rematch with Tim Sylvia that never happened and led to a very shitty Christmas for him.
Frank’s got a hilariously quick reply to Adam asking if fighters get anything when a fight falls apart, Adam asks about the numbers being paid out for fighters for this fight.
Frank tells them about his first fight, a not too depressing story that Adam wants to be very depressing.
Frank goes into detail about sharing gloves, making $500 and fighting a guy with much more experienced record than he was told.
Adam says he wants to hold the focus pads for Frank, he apologizes for his 16 ounce gloves that are a little long in the tooth and Adam prepares him for the vinegary “just dropped a digit on a street whore” smell his hands will reek of after they’re done.
Adam asks him about gloves size for the UFC and Gary is holding the mic for Frank, Frank says that heavyweights have the highest knockout rate in the business and Adam talks about the volatility of the sport and the belts, nothing lasts long.
BB and Gina are now doing some play by play while Frank his sitting on his punches and hammering Adam across the stage, Adam mocks this for being “good pod” which would be hilarious if they had a video clip on the website, what gives fellas!?
Adam is now having Frank setup some combinations and Adam riffs as Evil Knievel telling kids exactly what kinds of drugs not to do.
Adam is scatting as Gina observes and Frank is popping his punches, Adam jokes about traveling with a masturbation dog due to the lost feeling in his hands from years of beating off.
Frank is remarkably able to respond to Gina and breathe at the same time and not sound insane, Adam talks about his boxing training lessons and he brings Nick Richie on stage, he calls for him a few times, Nick’s delayed approach the stage gets Gary some shit, thanks dude.
Adam is asking Nick Richie how he met his wife, he goes over how he met her in Vegas and tells them about hot blondes, he insists he closed the deal before getting married just to “make sure” and Adam says he’s one of those guys in high school who got laid for no good reason that Adam hated.
Adam says he’s cool with Frank getting laid but Adam and BB didn’t and they’re going to kick his ass, not Frank as Nick attempted to joke about.
Nick further describes his Las Vegas antics that led to his marriage to the daughter of Lorenzo Lamas, Adam jokes about Lorenzo turning the lease and marrying a younger woman.
Adam says he went to high school with Lorenzo’s first wife, does he mean his 2nd wife Kathleen Kinmont?
Adam is talking to Nick about the process of Lorenzo’s 4th ½ wife carrying the child for Nick and his wife Shayne Lamas.
Nick tells Adam about founding the dirty and how he became rich.
Adam is now riffing up a storm about what does vs. doesn’t get you laid and BB joins him and he’s now sharing his theory on Selfies evolving and moving higher and higher to cover double chins as the country grows more obese.
Adam says his kids were heading out to see ‘Finding Dory’ at the El Capitan Theatre, right next door to the Theater where Jimmy Kimmel Live is recorded.
Adam talks about wanting to see his kids before he left for Vegas and asks the guys about weird arguments you get into, Nick tells them about having to get rid of his maid staff due to them selling tabloid stories.
Adam tells Olga to F off and says she listens to the shows but he’s telling the story of the time Olga walked in on him taking a shit, BB says maybe she was trying to get a glimpse like Adam described with the creepy stepdad knock move.
Adam says his kids have to go to summer school and he was trying to communicate with Olga, asking her what time she would be home, she kept giving him other times and Adam says she did the other thing that drives him nuts.
Adam says the reason people don’t like him as he must explain to them where they went wrong in their interaction and he says people don’t like it when Adam gets sing songy and breaks down the broken interaction.
Nick sticks up for Olga and Frank sides with Adam and explains how he makes his wife repeat why she’s incorrect, he’s “very thorough” which Adam loves.
Adam plugs Franks excellent podcast ‘Phonebooth Fighting’ and Frank goes into their Fund Anything campaign and tells Adam he inspired it.
1st Story is on the first ever virtual reality porn convention and Adam says the sweet gig at a porn convention is working security, he’s got a funny “you bung it you bought it” and has a solid “yea I’m not, uhhmm” line.
Gina has some stats on VR porn and Adam says dudes just want a robot to fuck, Adam brings up the inflatable sex dolls and how they never look like the box.
“that bitch I bought!” – Adam
Adam brings up the rafts and items his wife bought on the boutique raft store? Adam has to inflate the raft and he talks about using his air compressor and has a killer “why you pinching my dick off so hard!” line while talking about young women learning to perform incorrect blowjobs from rafts, what the fuck this is insane.
Nick says the first girl who blew him tried to blow air on his penis and it goes nowhere.
2nd Story is on Johnny Depp’s latest tattoo modification following a breakup, she has the details of the change and Frank says he has his wife’s name tattooed on his ring finger, he has a sad “in case I get punchy” line that is also pretty funny.
Adam riffs about beating off and they go back to the story.
Adam says his nickname for his wife is Monkey Nipples, if he ever changes his inner thigh tattoo with her nickname to Monkey Neapolitan he’ll still know what it said before and why it’s there.
3rd Story is on the new Pornhub “enhanced audio” clips where people describe pornography to those unable to see, Gina says she would love to do this and Adam says he’s not often envious of the blind but thinks they must have the best imagination of porn in their brains.
Adam says you want to be sighted first and then lose your sight so you know what things look like and he tangents off to rant about porn directors focusing on men’s faces while they ejaculate, he will presume by the jizz flying from his cock that the dude is orgasming, he does not need a close-up on the guy’s face and his eye’s squinting slightly to prove it.
Frank brings up The Honey Badger guy (The Crazy Nastyass Honey Badger – original narration by Randall) a YouTube video with over 70+ million views and a very specific narration style, Frank thinks he would be good for this Pornhub service and Gina agrees.
BB describes the very enthusiastic and probably gay man who does the narration, BB explains that’s where Tyrann Mathieu got his nickname.
They riff about possible other candidates for narration.
4th Story is on a new Vegan burger that supposedly tastes and cooks like beef, Adam is telling vegans to stop trying to name burgers, they’re not into it, walk away.
“there’s no gay guy that’s like hey Bob can you strap on that pussy” – Adam
Adam tells all vegans to go eat some fucking kelp with your pussy friends, he thinks the burger scientists are wasting time on vegan options when they could be adding a 4th layer to their epic burgers, stop shaping shit like their food.
Adam is back to his strap on pussy, hilarious reply and Adam says somebody had to say it.
Adam pitches a strap on burger and Gina is now giving a counter point about the developing nations and how this might be an alternative option for “everybody else.”
Adam asks Frank what he eats when he’s working out and what he’s walking around at, he’s 290 lbs. and broke 300 over the summer, Frank says he carries it well and his wife is great at spotting when he needs to lose weight.
5th Story is on the danger of hover boards, Adam says his son is a puss and talks about his daughter who is going insane around the house near the sliding glass doors, his son rides it like an old man walking down a hospital hallway with IV in tow.
Gina tells Adam about the fire danger, Adam says Sonny will plug the 30-minute limit into his apple watch and will need to rush back to unplug the boards before it’s too late.
Frank says they had ab ad Christmas because of them after learning of the fire danger, they had to get rid of them and they took them away from the kids, they had to be the bad guys and bum out the kids.
Adam brings up his dog Phil and his floppy jowls, his jowl actually flipped up and over and covered his eye socket, Adam is describing his beastly tongue and Adam jokes about setting him on fire to get rid of him and the hover boards.
Adam is mocking his kids for being so cavalier about having “uncle Jimmy” and the lifestyle Adam affords them.
6th Story is on the world’s largest Nerf gun and Adam jokes about this killing one of the guy’s neighbors.
7th Story is on a pubic hair made dress, Gina has all of the details and Nick thinks it’s really gross and Gina has some comments from the woman who designed and made it.
Adam is joking about the slow motion cigarette flick into her dress and Gina has a “you know your kids would do it” with a funny delivery.
Adam is now riffing about pubic lice and crabs reacting to her dress, Frank wants to know what it smells like and Adam says pubes just smell, you don’t have to do anything to make them smell, pubes were born smelly, his first pube at 15 smelled from day one.
Adam would like to put this woman at a table with Bjork and her Swan dress, Adam jokes about this woman’s’ parents telling people their daughter died at sea rather than admit she made a pubic hair dress.
Adam and BB are riffing up a storm and Gina steps in as the wife, Adam is going crazy.
Adam has a great Sara’s gone and this improv scene keeps going, everything is made of pubes!
BB asks where she was sailing to, Adam and Gina are flawless in response to BB.
8th Story is on the new Kellogg’s cereal bars opening in NYC, Adam brings up favorite songs and how they are a big deal when they come on the radio, he says getting your cereal outside of your home is a big deal.
Adam says they secretly move special k by putting it in 3 tiny coffins and adding it into the variety pack of cereals, Adam says his mom would get the Sterno log shredded wheat, you would have to soak it in milk and shuck it like a shellfish, Dam says the hero is the guy who decided to shrink the shredded wheat and frost.
Adam is rejecting any place that has the word bar in it that doesn’t serve booze.
Gina has all of the details on what they serve and Frank says they need to open these up in California and Colorado, nobody likes cereal more than a stoner.
Adam doesn’t want a mean barista pouring his cereal, he wants his hands on milk experience and asks if you will be allowed to turn the bowl upside down, he mocks the other patrons shaming him with their healthy choices while he is eating his fruity pebbles.
Adam riffs about the intimacy of eating cereal, he says you eat cereal with a boner and asks if he needs to fluff him up before dining, Gina asks Adam his all-time favorite cereal, Adam says they never had the good stuff as his mom was a health nut, she was ah health nut or she just hated her kids, it’s hard to tell he says.
Adam is not down with the chocolate cereal and he says Count Chocula struck him as a pedophile, he likes Captain Crunch, Nick says he has Wheaties every day and mentions his morning pee boner.
Frank likes the Lucky Charms and he brings up Honeycomb cereal, Adam and Gina both sing the jingle from the old commercials, “yeah, yeah, yeah!” and Gina wraps the news.
Adam says he feels like he has a pube in his mouth, Gina says there was one on the mic and Adam is giving out he plugs and Frank almost calls his Cohost Richard Harris instead of Richard Hunter, solid episode!