22 Jul Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 07/07/2016 – The Adam and Dr. Drew Show 371
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
The Adam and Dr. Drew Show
Guest – Theo Von
Recorded 07-05-2016 – Release Date 07-07-2016
Production Number #371 – Crazy Cats
Adam opens the 2nd hour with Theo while Drew is out globetrotting in “Europe” and Theo talks about Drew breaking some news on his podcast talking about Taylor Swift’s love addiction and some other topics too.
Adam talks about guys like Charlie Sheen lining up pussy like Dominos, like a bored Japanese guy.
Adam now asks if that isn’t a double standard for women, why aren’t the men addicted to love who are doing the same thing that Taylor Swift is doing.
Gary gets on mic and uses the Jonas Brothers as a counterpoint, they’re not writing albums about each of their exes.
Adam bruins up John Mayer and he claims ‘your Body Is a Wonderland’ is about him, he says he also thinks ‘My Sharona’ is about him too.
Adam shares his secret desire to be the list of celebrity birthdays when they’re announced on TMZ or Entertainment Tonight.
Theo is now sharing a joke he heard, what’s the last thing you want to hear while giving a blowjob to Willie Nelson, Adam has a funny thought about inhaling a bong hit from his dick.
Theo says he just met John Mayer again after meeting him 12 years ago, John remembered their meeting too and he shares a rumor he heard about John putting matchbox cars in Jessica Simpson’s ass.
Adam says he feels that hot wheels are keister-able, the replica of the ‘Scooby Doo’ van is too much though, he puts his foot down there but did open the door for the car known as ‘The Silhouette’ and they keep riffing.
Adam says John Mayer gets away with the same kind of freedom and isn’t criticized the way Taylor is, Adam is now sharing why he thinks the Richard Gere gerbil story is true and he cites him playing the roll of ‘American Gigolo’ a movie about Richard Gere being paid to get laid in a pre-AIDS 1980.
Adam once again cites the Cindy Crawford marriage which was after the alleged incident had first spread via rumors, so once again Adam’s theory is flawed due to the inclusion of Crawford.
Theo says he doesn’t’ condone bestiality and he says he would be ok with a person making love to a wild cat like a Puma or leopard, Adam says anything with retractable claws is a different animal altogether.
Adam is now having Theo reenact an improv scene where Theo reveals he fucked some animals over the weekend, Adam is asking him how things escalated while Theo was in his bedroom “looking for some more yard” and Adam is lecturing him for fucking animals.
Theo hasn’t yet revealed he fucked a wild cat, Adam is quite angry so you know he’s acting as all of the listeners to Loveline’s infamous dog and goat fucking calls know.
Theo is revealing it was a bobcat and Adam is insisting upon taking him to Dr. Hogly Wogly’s Tyler Texas BBQ to get some dinner, he needn’t pay, Adam is so impressed.
“you’re fucking sick dude, what’s wrong with you!?” – Adam
Theo has a great “this was my Amistad” one liner and Adam promises to apply the salve to his back with his flip flop after his tone changed from disgust to reverence.
Adam now makes a point about hunting and they move on.
Adam is doing a True Car Live Read
Adam is asking Theo about his hometown Covington Louisiana, upriver from New Orleans and Adam asks him about his plan when he got to college.
Theo says his mother went to college and they lived under her poor choices until they grew up and moved on.
Theo tells Adam about a neighbor who hated her cat, it turned out it was a lynx, a large panther like cat living in her house which eventually killed her cousin, funny impression from Theo.
Adam talks about biking and how it gets mistaken for bicycles when you’re talking about motorcycles, they go back to the Dutch and their Aerodynamicized look.
Adam talks about the relative appearances and waistlines of Europeans, from Amsterdam to Ireland.
1st Caller James, he brings up the ACS #1844 where one of the “Lady Gang” talked about her nude yoga practices in lieu of intercourse with her husband.
Adam talks about his appreciation for her efforts and James explains how he thinks it wouldn’t be enough, Adam is talking about his wife Lynette and her Tesla.
Adam is now explaining how he modified things and added a waist strap to the plug so it couldn’t be disconnected while charging.
Adam says if he was doing this regularly he might improvise a beat off tray like the guy selling concessions at a baseball game, hilarious strap on tray, you don’t want to look like a weirdo.
Theo and Adam are riffing about jacking off onto a tray while one’s wife does nude yoga, Adam says this might not be a great sign for the relationship and he talks about dealing with reality on reality’s terms, you’re not having sex, your wife has her affairs in order and you can beat off, just like a cancer diagnosis.
Theo is now sharing his own idea to let her know she’s not all that, maybe check your email or pretend to lose interest, Theo says women will not give an inch and waiting around for them to consider you will leave you waiting forever.
Adam is now incorporating at stand up desk into his jack tray, so you can get your work in and jack off too, Theo and Adam are riffing about Adam’s porotype and he says he’s off the clock but not off the cock.
Adam is now busting out some Gordon Gekko style talk from ‘Wall Street’ and they are now riffing about pimento, Adam moves on to a live read.
Adam is doing a Five Four Club Live Read
Adam was wearing their hoodie while on stage in Dublin and London
Adam is asking Theo about his dating and he brings up the Hitachi magic wand, the infamous vibrator as depicted on ‘Sex and The City’ and Adam is now sharing how there was a straight up vibrator sold at the Army Navy Surplus store, some company made them and the ad had a woman putting the massager on her shoulder.
Adam asks if there is a creepier dude than the guy who works at an Army surplus store, Adam brings up Paul Feig and says he must have been the least creepy guy to ever work in one, Adam is referencing TAK #23
Adam is talking about inflatable rafts, he hints at his legendary “Trying to beat off to a raft box” story/riff and Adam is talking to Theo about his face built for sporting a mullet, he has a perfect face for a mullet and Theo says he can show him some beautiful old pictures and is taking it in the spirt in which it’s intended.
Adam says his hair looks like he’s a roadie for ‘The Romantics’ and Theo says he’s like a roadie for an Italian restaurant.
Theo is reacting to the picture of The Romantics, they’re all dudes!
Adam is taking pause to be thankful and says he grew up in a lazy downtrodden environment and he brings up his buddy Chris whose father was set to turn himself in for a prison sentence.
Adam shares how the conversation went and how Chris’s dad was there for most of the month sleeping on the sofa, Adam brings up his Clamato jar with cold water he drinks from, all the cold tap water they can drink.
Adam is describing the box of junk he showed up with and Adam says they have full blown losers, Adam is now further going over how the conversation went and how bizarre it was, Adam jokes about Mike August booking guests after they’ve passed away.
Theo talks about going over to a buddy’s house when they were burying his grandfather in the backyard.
Adam talks about his family and the Neptune society and how they upsell you like a carpet cleaning service that advertised free cleaning for two rooms.
Adam says it’s like Uber for corpses and further describes how the service would pick up a body, describing his grandfather’s final drive.
Adam brings up the movie ‘Phantasm’ and Gary has some of the details, Nick is on mic and he is trying to recall the multiple media references to the Tall Man character from the films.
Adam says his grandfather was the favorite family member and 2 years on he asked if they weren’t going to have a ceremony for his passing.
Theo has a made up tetherball story and they move on.
Adam is doing a Weebly Live Read
Gary just set one up, his girlfriend has a mobile notary business and Adam is now going off on how the notary is the stich is his rich man side and this is a “jealous job” like a partner who cooks edition
Adam is now trying to determine how people mix-up Notary Public and Nota-Republic.
Adam is asking Gary about her business and he jokes about her showing up and claiming to be from the Neptune society.
Adam is plugging the upcoming Live show tomorrow with Frank Mir.
Adam plugs the Mangria signing and he says he’s trying to get one of his guys at the other shop to get bonded to save time.
Adam brags about all of the contract and signature fraud he gets away with.
Adam brings up the cock-sticks from Telepictures who dropped off a contract signed by Jay, Adam is happy that he didn’t sign that fucking piece of shit and brings up how Kevin Smith lied and cheated him out of the deal with made up lies after being upset by Adam not showing up at ‘Poddammit’ which he wasn’t actually ever invited to.
Adam further jokes about how Kevin Smith made 500k for two days of work and they wrap up the show.