06 Jul Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 07/06/2017 – Dave Dameshek
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Dave Dameshek
Recorded 07-03-2017 – Release Date 07-06-2017
Production Number #2110
Adam opens the show to a solid “Fruit of the year” from courtesy of Dawson and Lynch, Adam explains the one-on-one format for today’s episodes and welcomes Dave to the show.
Right up top they address how full of “poop” they are for this recording, Adam brings up Dave’s “best of the year” lists and says he was thinking about the worst flavor for a sports drink. Adam says the big things in life don’t make you that happy and cites his holy grail achievement of acquiring Paul Newman’s Porsche that he drove when won Le Mans.
Adam says he was suckered into the old man’s basketball league where the dads of the kids playing gather up to play some half court ball.
Adam says he happens to be the oldest of the old guys and Dave says Adam loves his spot as the elbow at the foul line, Adam jokes about losing a lot of his touch.
Adam says he was at the gym and the other team had 3 guys that were well under 25 years old and they were insisting they play a full court game.
Adam is talking about running the full-length court with 23yr old guys, it could go no other way, Adam says he’s convinced if you get pulled over and a cop is questioning you, all you need is a basketball, just toss it at him and he’ll let you go, he may guard you a little before he lets you go, hilarious!
Adam says he was compelled to start running and play hard and Dave agrees that full court ball is “no jive” for an old guy, Dameshek is still hung up on the Gatorade fruit flavor observation and Adam suggests Dave does a power ranking for the brand and he agrees to it.
Adam says he’s been demanding more from his deodorant all year, he jokes about the commercials for deodorant, showcasing men in different scenarios, protected by their deodorant.
Adam further riffs about the deodorant commercials.
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Adam is now back to the basketball game, the guys were one man short and demanding Adam join them, Dave Dameshek brings up the late great Powers Boothe and they riff about his role in ‘Red Dawn’ for which they recorded a full-length audio commentary that you can hear right now!
Adam and Dave further riff about the movie, hilarious observations about implied statutory rape and pre-emptively wrapping up basketball games.
Adam says he’s sharing a thought he’s never had before in his life, Adam thinks Powers Boothe could have had a greater career if he had intervened on behalf of his hairline like Jeremy Piven did, he compares how they both started losing hair around the same respective ages and how Jeremy jumped in and saved his hair to save his career.
Dameshek brings up ‘PCU’ and how it’s often invoked as a great film, Adam just referenced and it and he also dismisses it as a non-classic.
Adam is now taking it back to the basketball game, how he was called back to play another game, he played 5 games of basketball and he was spent, Adam describes his completely sweat soaked shirt, he wasn’t sure what the best etiquette was and Dave references Adam wearing a gym towel around his shoulders while guesting on Kimmel.
Adam says Sonny wanted to stop and get a Gatorade, Adam isn’t a huge fan but does make room for the original flavors, Dave addresses his son who is a Gatorade enthusiast and Dave often mixes up and gets him the wrong blue flavor as there are so many that are so similar.
Adam was parched and hadn’t had a slug of water in 90minutes, his mouth was dry and it tasted like ass, he was starting to like the idea of taking a big hit off a Gatorade, he wasn’t going to drink the whole thing but just a chug, he bought into the Gatorade run, Adam asked Sonny to get him the original Orange or Lemon-Lime, not something stupid.
Adam was parched and watching it from the car, Sonny opening the cooler and Adam observes that you can never be hungry like you’re thirsty, it’s a different level of desperation. Adam says a drop of semen was travelling down his urethra as he watched his son pay for the Gatorade, Adam says he was forced to go full Fred Sanford in reaction to the ‘Strawberry Splash’ that he returned to the car with.
Adam says synthetic strawberry flavor is bad, it’s a non-flavor, Dave defends the hard candy and starburst strawberry flavors.
Dave says that doesn’t sound refreshing to him, Adam jokes about swallowing a mouth full of pride and salvia as he sampled the drink, he was pot committed and dove in.
Adam is now asking Gary for a ranking for Gatorade flavors, Gary has one ready to go from ‘Thrillist’ and Dave appreciates the effort but recommends they leave it to the professionals.
Adam jokes about the 21 flavors of Gatorade listed and Dave mentions the international variants of the drink, Gary addresses the missing regionally specific flavors.
Adam just wants the standard options offered across the country, Adam says Sonny chose the 20th ranked flavor out of 21 options, Adam says that his son mentioned the cucumber flavor he proclaimed as worse than the Strawberry, Adam mocks the various “Ice” flavors and gets down to the top 10.
Adam says Grape is 6, but he doesn’t like grape flavored drinks and candy.
Dave asks which synthetic flavor best approximates the actual flavor of the fruit it’s mimicking, Adam talks about the fake grape flavor that has followed him through life, it’s not like actual grapes taste.
Adam says he’s convinced it’s for stupid people, kids are stupid but they’re kids.
Adam jokes about comparing an adult having the mentality of intellect of a child, you’re not insulting the child, you’re calling the adult a retard.
Adam reacts to Sonny turning his nose up at the Cucumber flavor despite it being ranked Number 3, he’s going to make sure to bring it up to him and Dave asks why he so blatantly ignored Adam’s pleas for a classic flavor.
Adam reads the rest of the list, he says that the two options he gave his son were for the #1 and #2 ranked flavors, while he cited the #3rd highest ranked flavor as a bad one and chose to buy the #20th ranked flavor.
Adam is talking about people putting on blinders due to their agendas and desire to get what they want, Adam says they saw the flavor but they didn’t want it so they simply didn’t see it.
Dameshek talks about people and their desire to seem essential or necessary and add their two cents, he cites a sausage links request being replaced with patties because the production assistant thought it was funnier despite that not being part of their job. Adam references his time on ‘Dancing with the Stars’ and promises to come back to it.
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Adam and Dave are talking about tailgating or at least even just attending a local game together, Dave gives a shout-out for Matt ‘Money’ Smith and his new gig as the play by play guy for The Los Angeles Chargers.
Adam and Dave are both sharing their love for Matt and Adam tells Dave and the audience about first meeting Matt back in the early KROQ days when Adam first got on the morning show with ‘Kevin and Bean’ in 1994.
Dave asks about the best leftover cereal milk, which cereal leaves the best residue, Adam says ‘Fruit Loops’ leaves you with an exotic broth, pinkish and looks akin to cleaning a fish over the milk.
Gary gets on mic and shares a suggestion from the booth of ‘Cinnamon Toast Crunch’ and Dave shares the winner after Adam turns over all cards, he says it’s ‘Apple Jacks’ and Adam is now remarking on breakfast cereal commercials and how all kids new the themes when he was kid and he contrasts that to his kids and their lack of cereal jingle memorization.
They are both riffing on ‘Cookie Crisp’ and Dave segues to the varieties of monster cereal including ‘Boo Berry’ which he says with hilarious gusto, Adam even has to stop and say it too.
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1st Caller Scott, he has a ‘Richman Poorman’ and explains how haircuts at your home are only given to poor people as kids from their parents and rich executive types calling stylists to them.
Adam suggests TV viewing in the morning is only done by the super-rich and the super poor, someone immediately tweeted him back about middle-class people who work the night shift.
Dave now gives a #ProTip for answering hypothetical questions, he says always go with the most flattering answer that reflects best on you as you likely won’t encounter the scenario.
Adam is sharing his disdain for people who answer hypothetical questions and jokes about the “blow your dad, fuck your mom” hypothetical as if answering that question put him that much closer to doing the act, it’s people who can’t separate themselves from the scenario.
Adam has a killer one liner about putting his hand on his dad’s knee and Dave mocks the people who suggest a 3rd or tangential answer like going to school naked but on a say the school was empty.
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Adam is now back to his ‘Dancing with The Stars’ experience and the bizarre budget they had structured, unlimited in some capacities and then super cheap when it comes to other things.
Adam talks about the custom-made shirts he wore and contrasts them against the budget he was given for his bit for the show, that he was taping for free!
Adam goes over the bit with Michael Irvin and the tanning joke, how the joke was kyboshed despite it not offending anyone on staff, it’s a form of racism that we can’t have a joke that involved Michael and his skin tone according to Adam, it’s racist not to do the joke.
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Adam references Mogadishu and asks Dave to say it as he’s sharing the first ‘Richman Poorman’ attempt on ‘Too Late with Adam Carolla’ and Dave jokes about possibly knowing this producer, Adam says he might, he might have a kid or two with the woman, Dave has a knowing laugh.
Adam is back to his request for a giant turkey on ‘DWTS’ and explains how he told them to get a cheap white sheet cake wedding cake, not to go nuts and buy the fancy kind.
Adam is now going over his difficulty to get the production team to listen to him and acquire the items he requested for the bit.
Adam explains how they had a field producer bake the cake despite not knowing how to bake, Adam shares his frustration with the production team and his confusion with them trying to save money by paying someone to bake for 3 hours, it cost more than buying a cake.
Adam goes over the Turkey, instead of bringing a giant turkey, he was handed a soft frozen oozing brick of Turkey Breast, Adam now explains how it was a gooey bloody hunk of flesh, it couldn’t read as Turkey on camera.
Adam says it would look like the heart of a camel or something, he goes over the budget excuse and Adam says he would have paid for it, or at lease covered the difference, it was 20 dollars wasted on a 36-dollar item that would have worked on camera.
Adam asks what is that, that factor that prevents people from listening nor foreseeing the near future when this will end badly for everyone.
Gary brings up the way that sports details are neglected in major films, Adam immediately cites ‘Ghost Rider’ and Dave addresses Helen Hunt in ‘Castaway’ and Adam says he’s haunted by the 300 feet “field goal to field goal” line from ‘Ghost Rider’ and he brings up how the line was laid in via voice over in post-production.
Adam can’t fathom how someone would miss the distance, they now play the scene Adam comments on how they announce it over the loudspeaker later in the movie.
Adam and Dave do another lap about how ridiculous this mistake is, the sheer volume of eyeballs that have passed over it, Adam comments on how Nic Cage would never comment on it and actors never know anything.
Adam is bringing up the movie ‘Drive’ and Dave laughs at the premise as described by Adam, Adam is now breaking down the discussion about the tread on the tires of the stock car, Adam explains how they change tires all race, the tries don’t matter.
Adam wants to know why they would say that, let alone about slicks. Why!?
They are now watching the scene with the guy in the VO booth proclaiming the jump as 300 feet and Adam jokes about the movie aging like a fine wine.
Dave is now suggesting they do a Basic Cable Classic for ‘All the Right Moves’ and Gary says they will release the ‘Basic Cable Commentary’ for ‘Cobra’ from the cruise in late 2017, wow!
This is a huge bit of news, I actually encouraged some of this behind the scenes, so awesome, nice reveal Gary!
They’re now riffing about ‘All The Right Moves’ and Adam says he hates any movie that makes a point but doesn’t get it across and he brings up how the coach was picking on Tom Cruise in ‘All The Right Moves’ and explains how the coach was supposedly picking on him.
Adam brings up how Tom’s character was making mistakes and fucking it up for the team, he should have listened to the coach.
Adam doesn’t know how you make a film where the exact opposite thing happens from what you’re trying to convey.
Adam is talking about the 1980’s movie cliché of men crying in locker rooms and he cites a scene from ‘Varsity Blues’ and he jokes about adding something to his list of things to do before he dies, like jumping into a body of water with a knife in his teeth, the most dangerous place to hold a knife while diving mind you.
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Adam wants to add him arguing with a coach about taking the needle to finish the game, the other move is to pull up in front of a place, leave the car running and reply to what are you doing with “something I should have done a long time ago” and he explains the premise and the humor in it.
Dave is now bringing up the McDonalds commercial where the manager of the restaurant is having everyone gather around to see if the one employee got into college, Dave asks what would have happened if the kid didn’t get in.
Adam is now talking about his former manager from McDonalds, a large man of color named Ken and his moustache and glasses.
Adam is riffing about people using glasses as an extension of your expression/reaction, Adam is joking about it being like “semaphore on the deck of life” and he explains how he failed into his McDonalds career after they riff about Bryant Gumbel literally looking down his nose at guests he’s interviewing.
Adam and Dave have some hilarious back and forth and Adam explains how he had to wear work shoes while at McDonalds and how he never learned how to mop a floor and would slip in his leather shoes.
Adam jokes about Ken observing that Adam didn’t know how to mop and how he realized he had a “little retarded white boy” under his roof.
Adam is now riffing about the “urban” themed McDonalds commercials as Gary fires up the recent ad with the employee getting accepted to college.
2nd Caller Pete, he thanks Adam for inspiring him with his talk about making documentaries, he used that logic to redirect his career.
Adam says you just need to make things, instead of talking about how you might hypothetically make something one day.
Dave talks about the people who live in Los Angeles and fantasies about working in the industry, Pete asks what Dave thinks about Rey’s parentage in ‘Star Was’ and Dave explains how he views movies as a passive experience and doesn’t like the hipster move of thinking that you somehow outsmarted the artist by knowing the twist or the full plot before it unfolds.
Dave talks about removing suspense and the suspension of disbelief, he doesn’t like to overthink these things nor does he pride himself on somehow being “ahead of the game” by knowing information in advance or speculating about art.
Adam is talking about going to Amazon to read the positive reviews for ‘The 24-Hour War’ and he comments on how from time to time he’ll read a one star review about it being a love letter to Ford.
Adam is now talking about how the reality of the story and how they simply told the story of what happened, in reality, he observes it always some dude who loves Ferraris’ giving the one star.
Adam and Dave joke about it being like someone hating the Super Bowl because their team lost.
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Dave is now bringing an element of his podcast over, he brings up a fan from twitter who suggested this one.
Dave explains the ‘Elimination Chamber’ to Adam, he asks Adam to eliminate ‘Game of Thrones’ ‘Breaking Bad’ or ‘The Sopranos’ and then is disappointed in Adam’s limited viewing history, he’s only seen the sopranos.
Dave is now asking Adam to eliminate one decade of music, the 1960’s, the 1970’s or the 1990’s and Adam goes with the 90’s he explains why and why the other decades are important to him, he does give some 1990’s caveats. Dave says he would get rid of the 1960’s and explains why.
Dave is now asking Adam about listing a tier of priority for 3 things, 1st position whenever one wants it, 2nd position once every 3 weeks, third position every 3 months and fourth position never again.
TV, Sex, Booze and Italian food.
Adam jokes about adding this to his coffee table book of what black people think we’re talking about, Adam now ranks them with Italian Food coming in last.
Dave says goodbye to sex, Adam references the song ‘Goodbye to You’ and says it’s a song that needed a video so you could see how cute she was.
Adam wraps up the show with some plugs for Dave and has Gary add that song to the list of ‘Tool Tunes’ and now commands Gary to play a little as he riffs about the “turn of the century French sailor” look that many guys who played keyboard in 1980’s bands were rocking.
Adam and Dave are now doing live commentary over the video and jokes about her dusting off this song if she did get divorced as they continue to speculate about her relationship history.
Adam gives out the plugs and wraps up the show, Gary says they have just opened a few more balcony rooms for the cruise and tells fans to get on them before they’re gone.