30 Jun Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 06/30/2014 – Road Hard Backers Party
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Road Hard Backers Party
Recorded 06-29-2014 – Release Date 06-30-2014
Production Number #1356
Adam is opening the show “live” from Carolla #2 studios, wha? Wha? Whaaaat? To a fantastic intro from Mike Dawson and a very supportive crowd of Road Hard Supporters, who support things apparently.
I was supposed to be in attendance but got stuck with other nonsense, I contributed a whole week’s pay, assisted in a fan getting a last minutes 2500$ in and was gifted a pass to this very show despite not donating enough with a single contribution and I still missed it, boo.
Alison has a nice intro about the crowd and how convenient it is in comparison to flying to an out of state live venue.
Adam is sharing a story from the edit bay about Author Newman “91yrs Dead” watching the “Jules Dash” documentary about Paul Newman.
Alison and BB are rolling with the Jules riff.
Adam is joking about his tears in his cataracts and Adam feels just the same for the fans who supported the production of Road Hard.
Alison is mocking the tiny water bottles Adam is serving the guests, Adam is telling he crowd to enjoy their beers, he just wants all of the beers emptied, no half full bottle left.
Adam is now directing his message at the ladies, “have as many as you like, fucking finish them!” – Adam ranting about non drunk kids in Africa.
BB has a killer and horrible” That’s the flies” joke about the buzz felt by staring African kids, Alison has an even better sting to close out the audience’s reaction.
Adam is telling them about his wife and kids in Portland while he was home alone with a fly, Adam is sharing how he realized that it’s 2014 and there is no better way to kill a fly.
Adam is explaining why footwear and rags don’t work, Alison says “they’ve evolved beyond footwear” and Adam mocks his pronunciation of “FLY-swatter” and Adam is joking about writing Angry, hilarious!
Adam is explaining how he couldn’t find the fly swatter and is lamenting why they don’t have more, Adam is explaining he was bound to find it mixed in with the pans or somewhere it doesn’t belong.
Adam is telling them about the time out he gave the fly by locking it in the bathroom, to contain it, Alison has a funny gigantic cup joke.
Adam is mocking himself because he locked the fly in the shitbox, BB says like a fat guy getting locked in at Fogo de Chao and now Adam is back to his original point.
Adam is mocking the sharper image items that kill using telepathy “you think evil thoughts about the fly” and Alison is providing some great comedic assists.
Adam is telling them to remind him of his victory over Molly this weekend, Adam is back to this fly swatter and the Egyptians “had that” idea that their ancient culture was more advanced that it was, Adam is taking it to crazy lengths.
Adam is joking with BB and has a great “I disagree, I disagree” reply, Alison is now telling them about her parents’ house and where they keep their fly swatters.
Adam is joking about every 15th fly exploding in a bukake of cows blood they recently drained, Alison is telling them about getting fly swatters in her face in her post college re-parent’s house living situation.
Adam has a killer “scant 11 years” reply and he’s now telling them about finding the “fruit and vegetable wash” and jokes about a room where people just figure out what they can sell to white people.
Alison calls it “Fruit douche” and Adam is telling BB about the times he cleaned a fly swatter and Adam has a killer joke about a neighbor’s son getting killed by a fly swatter.
Adam is telling people who share the news of people dying via cleaning a gun not thinking the gun is loaded, Adam has done that math, and he doesn’t think they’re super confident.
Alison is now asking Adam about his dog, she’s got a great series of comments about what Molly has before Adam gets to it, good stuff.
Adam is now telling them about Molly and her eating habits, Adam jokes that Molly has more street smarts than Lynette, wow!
Adam is now telling them about Molly manipulating Lynette and her and her love for her, along with her time constraints.
Adam is explaining how he beat Molly by exceeding Lynette’s 3min attempts to make her get so hungry she has to eat, Adam is now joking about the wet dog food Queef sound as it exits the can.
Adam is explaining that Molly upped the game from Himalayan goat meat to now needing that with fresh cooked white chicken breast mixed in. shredded up.
Adam says he’s isn’t going to make her a meal more involved than his parent ever made him, he’s going nuts.
“You’re having a blinking contest with a guy with no fucking eyelids bitch!” – Adam, Adam is now threatening to take Molly’s insulin shot, holy shit!
Adam truly doesn’t give a shit, BB wants to know what else Adam did all weekend besides wait out a fly and his dog, Adam has a killer sniff after telling BB about intestinal fortitude and how he has it all.
Adam is finishing the story about Molly eating her food and how she treats him vs. how she lives when he’s not there, Adam is telling them about her Pepcid ac and chemo pills, Adam is raving about the cream cheese business getting a boon from the doggy pill delivery method.
Alison has a killer “The bestiality business” joke and Adam tops it with his double take reply, this is comedy gold!
BB tries to triple top it but it’s too late, now its peanut butter dog sex jokes for a bit, Adam is explaining how wildly sanitary the process is, Alison is telling them about using string cheese dumplings she tries to fool her dog with.
Adam is joking about how long Molly would last in Olga’s village, Adam shares that she now gets the village part is a joke, Adam is explaining how he’s down with anything with flesh on it.
Adam says he would eat molly last, out of respect, but she would probably taste like chicken due to the 14k she’s ate in birds in the past 9 months.
They’re now joking about cows and their tongues in their noses being gross, Alison says the god tongues in the butt must be fine?
Adam is giving out the thanks for people who helped with Road Hard, including Rode Microphones and jokes about the Source Awards with BB.
Adam is making this very funny and telling them about the aerial shots form a legit helicopter, he’s getting to the sound mixing and now it’s a pre-recorded commercial break.
They’re back and bringing up Pete K. and Jason O. along with Thomas A.
Adam is asking Jason why he’s not drinking, Adam is telling him the 3 possible ok excuses and he tries to use all 3.
Blah Blah Blog
1st Blog Al Gore, Al Franken or Al Sharpton?
Adam is now breaking down his vote, Al Sharpton’s weight loss and Alison has a killer joke about him being wrong about looking better at 50lbs lighter.
BB says it’s the same with Al Roker, Adam says black folks stop losing weight, and you’re freaking out whitey.
Alison is getting the fans to give their votes, Adam says “Is that the beer not talking? Dickhead! How Dare You come into my home…” Adam to Jason, wow!
Alison has a killer “Get 2!” one liner that Adam tops with a lateral joke about actually wanting two beers, she turned his joke on him and he then made it even funnier.
Adam and BB are joking with the guys.
Adam is bonding with his dude but tells him they will never hang again.
2nd Blog Barbara Streisand, Katherine Heigl or Rose McGowan?
Adam is asking if anyone has ever told either Katherine or Rose to shut up. Because they’re so beautiful people probably don’t.
Alison is weighing in and now Adam is letting Pete give his vote.
Adam is now betting Alison that Barbara has probably swung with the Sultan of Brunei and has probably gotten a million to perform music privately.
Adam is bringing up the time that Rose McGowan confronted him for calling her nuts, she was an early 1996 Classic Loveline guest.
3rd Blog Ted Danson, Anthony Bourdain or Charlize Theron?
Adam is on a killer “free range artichoke” riff and joking about harpooning freeway cows with Alison, this is gold!
Adam didn’t even let Dawson finish the blog, Adam is asking why people want these free range farms and BB is addressing the farm to table stuff by is farmed fish bad?
Adam is saying that much like high end vodka vs. bottom level booze these snobs couldn’t tell the farmed catfish apart from the stuff caught in a swamp somewhere.
Adam is joking about the idea of “seafood fraud” and how non-important it is in light of the world’s current issues.
Adam is asking them about Anthony, Adam likes the guy but doesn’t know his work that well, Alison is confirming he’s more pretentions, not so much of a blowhard.
Adam is now polling the audience.
Adam got his blondes fucked up and thought it was Katherine again, Adam is joking about the red herring being processed and colored cod.
Adam is using Pete to mock Jason for not being drunk, Adam is once again addressing how Mike Lynch fucks him up by knowing his brain so well and putting these names in just to throw him off.
BB and Adam joke about Jason ordering a large beer and BB implies he’s giving up 8 years of sobriety, they’re further joking with him, great fodder Jason!
Adam is now already pre-emptively lamenting his parting of ways with Pete, he’s going to “miss us.”
4th Blog Ed Begley Jr., Alan Alda or Kirk Douglas?
Adam is now interrupting to asking about steel cut oatmeal, he’s saying we all like the sound of it better, but is it actually better?
Adam jokes about suede cut oats and BB is now commenting on people who claim to be able to tell the difference between ordinary oatmeal and steel cut.
“A sort of Gummi champagne” – Dawson
Adam jokes about this coming from a dead Maya Angelou and now Adam is joking about Ed Begley’s treadmill powered microwave.
Adam is telling Alison not to listen to the drunken whore in the crowd and he’s joking about Ed Begley and his cool attitude towards energy and waste.
Alison is now trying to break down who this is and Adam asks “Kirk Douglas is not supposed to be alive is he?” and now Adam is joking that you know you’re not supposed to be alive when you’re son is so hold he’s not supposed to be alive, wow!
Adam is joking about old guys not having a lot of free time for blogging, Adam thinks it’s Alan Alda but Pete is trying to sway him to Begley.
Alison has a great a back and forth with the newly non Jason, Jason.
Adam was right but Pete had to go with Adam’s person friend Ed Begley Jr.
5th Blog Martin Scorsese, Sigourney Weaver or Clay Aiken?
Adam has a killer “Pacman Jones hunch”
Adam is joking about Clay offending a dolphin constituency, now Alison is trying to figure this out with Jason like he’s a child, this is great.
Jason has an interesting Clay Aiken theory and Alison doesn’t get what tree he’s barking up.
Adam jokes about Pete not touching him after they clinch the win.
Only Story is on the recent host shakeup at the View, she’s reading the details about Sherri Shepard and the Jenny McCarthy response on social media.
Adam is explaining how they fire someone in showbiz, they either fire you or they offer you far less money, much like they did to Adam on 2005 Classic Loveline.
Alison has the news of the schedule with Jenny and Sherri still hosting episodes through August, Adam says they should give the daytime Emmy to these women faking their sadness for parting ways and how they’ll never see each other again.
Adam is mocking Whoopi Goldberg’s methadone clinic laden vocal qualities, Adam is asking for them to get Artie Lange for the next season.
Alison jokes about sending him her tape to get hired on the show.
Adam says they have to replace an ethnicity with an ethnicity, Adam predicts how horrible it will be and vaguely remembers doing the show a couple times in the late 90’s, yep!
Adam is further thanking some sponsors and contributors to the film.
Adam is giving out the plugs and wrapping up the show.