14 Jul Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 06/28/2016 – Chris Jericho and Giel Beelen, Live from the Melkweg in Amsterdam
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Chris Jericho and Giel Beelen, Live from the Melkweg in Amsterdam
Recorded 06-27-2016 – Release Date 06-28-2016
Production Number #1848
Adam opens the show with a pre-recorded topper for the Amsterdam show, Adam jokes about ‘Deuce Bigalow 2: European Gigolo’ and how he learned everything he needed to know about the culture from that movie.
Adam is doing a Live Read for Tommy John Wear
Don’t wear swimming shorts under your pants edition
Adam is now doing a Castrol Live Read
Adam is now riffing about Mike August starting a nuclear fission like chain reaction from eating everything in sight and only growing hungrier form all of the THC filled edibles, never getting satiated and eventually eating all of The Netherlands.
Adam wraps up the intro and they go right into the live show, Adam’s first ever live episode from another continent, and from Amsterdam of course.
Adam welcomes Giel Beelen to the show and says that Mike August wins the award for ugliest American and he tells them about the private jet they flew on from Burbank to Niece France.
Adam says that the first thing Norm said to Adam was that the private jet had a bathroom in the front and the back, Adam noticed a cup holder next to August’s chair that was full of yellow liquid, he didn’t think it could possible be urine.
Adam then opened the bottle and sniffed it to find out if he really skipped using both bathrooms to piss while everyone was sleeping around him, Adam says they have a photo and they look at it.
Adam is now talking about the wood working and elaborate art carvings outside of a museum, August then used his umbrella to bang on the sculpture, Adam comments on the guy who approached them confused that August would possibly assault their works of art.
Adam comments on the locals and their use of Nee, the Dutch variant of No, Adam is now sharing how Mike August ordered a ‘Western Omelet’ while at a local breakfast place, they then had to explain what goes into a western Omelet to the staff, Adam was trying to get him to understand they don’t make those here.
Adam explains what they are to Giel and shares his experience with customs, it was a breeze in comparison to Canada and he riffs about huddling with the guys to get their stories straight but the guy just looked at their passports and let them go, Adam felts a little hurt in the same way he feels bad about never having a gay guy hit on him.
Giel confirms they do trust everyone in Amsterdam, Adam comments on the near death experiences he had with various mopeds almost hitting him all day, Adam jokes about putting up scooter signs with fat Americans with x’ed (crossed) out eyes.
Adam comments on the small thimble sized Coca Cola, Adam says that coupled with the use of bicycles is why people aren’t as obese in Amsterdam and Europe in general.
Adam says that most of Europe has signed off on everyone thinking they’re gay and they’re ok with that, Adam comments on the posturing that men in the United States have to do in comparison.
Adam jokes about his Gaydar breaking upon arriving in Amsterdam, killer riff that the audience seems to appreciate.
Adam comments on their quick trip through London and he comments on the Prostitute channel he saw on the TV upon arriving in his hotel room in Amsterdam, it’s less of a prostitution channel and more of a beat off reminder channel.
Adam comments on his travel mates missing the prostitute channel, the porn of porns!
Adam is trying to explain how foreign this is for Americans and he says he started to feel sorry for the dads of the women on this channel, as the access is so easy and everyone sees it, you cannot avoid this and you will see your daughter fucking.
Adam has a killer “it’s Shelly” and Giel explains how you can pass out while watching something very innocent and then someone could arrive to see the late night channel of prostitution that Adam is describing.
Adam has a funny observation about the guy at the bar using the term “afternoon” at 8 p.m. and Adam lets Giel get a plug in for his radio show, Adam is now sharing the various Dutch slurs in the united states.
Adam explains “Dutch Oven” and “Going Dutch” and then moves onto “Dutch Uncle” and “Dutchman” in construction, he gets it settled when someone says the Dutch are cheap.
Adam is now talking about the Anne Frank House and the guy who dropped the dime on the little girl living off of rat dropping in an attic after the war was already basically over, who was that guy and Giel gets in a half effort Donald Trump dis, Adam promises to spread the rumor when he gets home.
Adam is now talking about people smoking, he says everyone in France smokes and they assign you a cigarette but collector to pick up your buts, he jokes about kids being required to smoke.
Adam says he doesn’t see any ash trays out, he sees buts on the ground and they need to face the reality and put ash trays out for people who smoke, even though it doesn’t work with their enlightened antismoking worldview.
Chris Jericho is now joining them via Skype, he’s never performed in Amsterdam so this is a first for him and Adam asks him who is a scarier boss Vince McMahon or Donal Trump?
Chris thinks Vince could kick your ass and Adam says that Trump is elusive and would slip past a punch and you would have an orange fist as secret service kicked the shit out of you.
Adam is comments on Trump’s 10-foot perimeter of “no smoking” around his head due to his hair spray and self-tanner, Adam jokes about Europe being behind when it comes to pop culture.
Adam wraps up with Chris and get right into his Paul Newman car at the Hill climb, Adam is talking about the driveway of Lord March who owns the Goodwood estate.
Adam is showing them some pictures and he sets up a clip of him driving up the hill with the Newman car he’s never driven before.
Adam is explaining when you hear the turbo firing and is providing some light commentary over the footage, he talks about the flint wall that you want to avoid and Adam says his audience always hates that shit, they hate racing and don’t want to indulge him, not everyone in the audience.
Adam is commenting on Paul Newman’s frame and how the car was built around him, with this car it just is what it is and Adam has to fit in, despite being taller.
Adam is now saying he noticed some discoloration on his body, he pulls his shirt up to show them his bruising from the seat which injured his right side.
Past Adam interrupts with a Live read for SimpliSafe
Adam says he wants to bring up a local person to help them get to know a city, Adam doesn’t mind the booze and he likes that Europeans get drunk and don’t get sloppy like Americans.
Adam asks how WWII and Germany effected the Dutch people, Giel says he almost got fired for a comment in a magazine interview, Giel shares his “Mein Kompf” reply and Adam immediately knows where he’s going.
Adam says that no matter where they go whomever picks them up at the airport is always insane, this guy was named Robbie, he was 60+ year old and started talking the moment his ass hit the seat.
Mike August filmed this guy and recorded him bragging about visiting North Hollywood the one time he visited the states.
Adam is now talking about the 11:30 p.m. pick up form Robbie, they’re now watching the video that Mike August shot, with the guys reacting.
Adam is commenting on him acting out both parts of the conversation regarding a waiter overcharging for his booze, Adam jokes about the “extra cold” tax and he knows it’s code for gouging ugly Americans.
Adam says Brevity is the soul of wit when it comes to the Customs agent, not the cab drivers.
Mike August has more details from the driver and Adam is now riffing about telling fight stories where a fight never occurs, Giel asks for the black guy’s variant of this type of modern American white guy tough guy story is.
Adam has a killer Vespa and Heineken, with an Oz bottle of coke Amsterdam throw down story, Adam is on fire and he once again comments on the audience member who has a list of reasons why Adam should move to Amsterdam.
Adam thinks if he moved to Amsterdam he would either take over the country or be burned as a heretic, Menno Pietersen is joining them live on stage and Adam missed a call from a guy who is building his pool, the guys convince him to call him back.
Giel has a funny “great pod” comment and Adam is trying to return the call again, it’s Penn Jillette’s manager Goldie, Adam riffs about stone and kilos vs. lbs. after asking Goldie about Penn’s weight loss.
Adam finally lets Menno get to his list, Adam jokes about not being able to use “hot chicks” as a reason to convince his wife and kids to move, he can touch on that perk but he can’t focus on just that, he needs other reasons.
Menno is telling Adam about the roads and that Adam couldn’t enjoy and get feel for while Robbie was transporting him to another world with his storytelling prowess.
Adam jokes about what he would save on public schools and would lose on tutors.
Adam asks Menno about the Heineken Cartel, he can’t get a non-Heineken beer while in the city, Adam has already tuned out and proudly proclaims his ugly Americanness, Adam asks him about flight times and driving times to other places.
Menno mentions a place that sounds like he’s hocking up a loogie, Adam asks him about his phlegm situation as he pronounces a town name.
Adam asks Menno how he got into his work as they seem like the unlikeliest of buddy cop duos, he quizzes him about his work and Menno tells him about the healthcare in Holland, he says he could get treated for a brain tumor without receiving a bill for the services and care.
Adam has a hilarious “is there something you know that I don’t angle and he riffs out of it, Menno is now telling Adam his website looks like shit and doesn’t scale for mobile devices, particularly the iPhone.
Adam says he gets it, he says it’s like how Dr. Drew hates all other doctors and like Giel hates all other DJ’s and Adam would think Giel sucks if heard his show.
Menno gets a dig in after Adam tells him to talk to Chirrs, Adam is now saying this is why everyone hates you and he tells them about getting out of the elevator on the 4th floor and it smelled like pot.
Adam is pondering what the elimination of laws against vice activities does to young people, it removes the stigma and Giel and Menno says that it’s not a big deal and not that many people smoke pot in Holland.
Adam is recalling a German prison where they give prisoners their own keys and let them visit home, Adam contrasts Europeans vs. Americans and our out of control insanity.
Adam says that Dutch people would make awesome pets, Menno is now riffing and has a funny reply to Adam says he will fix their website, Adam wants to know what is different about Adam’s type of humor than what they can find in Holland.
Adam has a killer “fuck you I’m not paying for dinner, you pay for dinner!” joke about Dutch people arguing, gold!
Adam is now asking him for some other American comedian’s names who he enjoys, he lists some top shelf names and doesn’t bum Adam out.
Adam asks about the Van der Sloot kid, where did he come from, where is the Polish food?
Menno drops some racism regarding Polish people who “paint their walls” and gets in a great “Polish friends” reply, Adam has a solid Pollock joke and Adam mocks Giel’s lack of education for not having any Pollock jokes chambered.
Hilarious Belgian terrorist joke from the crowd, Adam is asking about the polish people and asks who is doing the masonry work and says that’s how you can tell who is the lowest rung on the societal ladder.
Adam asks who is in the kitchen cooking, Adam is agreeing with them that American culture stinks but if German gets uppity again, we’ll swing by and kick their asses, again!
Adam gives out the plugs and wraps up the show, hilarious Giel pronunciation from Adam, Adam asks how they prevent themselves from hocking loogies at each other all day long with the all of H’s and extended pronunciations.
Adam wraps up the first global Live Show with a solid Mahalo!