26 Jun Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 06/23/2015 – Adam, Gina and Bryan
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Adam, Gina and Bryan
Recorded 06-22-2015 – Release Date 06-23-2015
Production Number #1600
Adam opens the show with a nice “thanks for creating a job for all of us” intro, he plugs the upcoming live show and BB plays a classic Patrick Swayze drop from ‘Red Dawn’ as the #TopDrop.
Adam has a report on his kids and how they fared with ‘Jurassic World’ but first he’s explaining how his kids are, he’s sharing the details of his son going to the bathroom by himself while at the track.
Adam says the guys who are at the track are the nicest dudes you can imagine and describes how efficient, focus and dialed in these guys are.
Adam says that people have their gear and equipment everywhere and nobody rips anyone off, no rich on rich crime to be found.
Adam let his son go to the bathroom and now Adam is ordering everyone to listen to him, he’s bringing up the unintended consequences for every action, BB sums it up with some science.
Adam shares how his daughter wasn’t cool with going to the bathrooms alone, Adam asks what happened to her daredevil spirit in this situation, he says she’s suffering from a fear of “stranger danger” essentially.
BB is now floating a guess and Adam jokes about that being code for farting, funny.
BB says that Adam is her daddy safety net and that why she is free to be a daredevil in those situations, Adam is now lamenting Nancy Grace and how she puts fear into the hearts and minds of caring mothers like his wife, skewing their view of society and the actual odds of danger.
Adam shares how he watches reality shows based on arguments about car auctions, Gina confirms that women are far more likely to watch the fear mongering Nancy Grace style programming.
Adam has a killer line about kids holding hands with their siblings to be safer.
“Statistically women don’t know statistics!” – Adam
“you don’t go anywhere, you hold your brother’s hand, by the way to me that just means the pedophile goes Oh I get twins to fuck, at least now I got one to keep…” – Adam on Stranger Danger
Adam and BB are killing it on the one liners and BB takes it a step too far, Adam is back to the way that the evening news could sway an immigrant cab driver into becoming racist and profiling people based on media and crime statistics.
Adam is back to the stories of mass death overseas and how people don’t somehow let that affect them but this feeling based fear gets indulged no matter how likely.
Adam is explaining how moms have a lot of protective energy and concern over their offspring, Adam says it gets funneled into these concerns.
Adam is mixes up Norman Lear with Norman Mailer and they all look at a photo of him as spry as ever, enjoying ‘Jurassic World’ with the Phil Rosenthal crew.
Adam is talking about the utopia of his kids and how other people are kicking the shit out themselves to be the nicest person to the kids, Phil had 15 kinds of Pizza and was setting them up with more food.
Adam asks why he can’t reborn into the “children are our future” generation instead of the “silver jumpsuit” one he came up in.
Adam explains that most of his friend’s dads were dicks and he was scared of most of them and they knew it, not like Norman, Phil and the legendary Jimmy Kimmel and his kindness to the kids.
Adam is now talking about the Vincent D’Onofrio character and Adam says he took the side of villain regarding sending Velociraptor’s on the ground instead of his nephew.
Adam says he’s often on the side of the “bad guys” in these movies and says that Vincent is the humanitarian of the year with this idea.
Adam is now mocking the “you’re playing god/Karmic retorbution” plot element of these types of movies.
Adam is now making an argument for velociraptors, like Police K9 unites, this is amazing.
Adam is using the open road and driving vehicles to further make his point about the bargain we all undertake, he even touches upon grenades as war based munitions.
BB claims that Ed Harris villain in ‘The Rock’ is another one you can get behind.
Adam says that Sonny was watching through his fingers and Natalia was shielding her ears, Adam suggests that perhaps she has inherited his hyper vigilant gene and is overwhelmed by the noise.
Adam is talking about the film and it’s plotting, he says the ending fight was just enough, he likes that it didn’t go forever.
Adam doesn’t remark on the T-Rex being the same one from the first film, Gary chimes in.
Adam is doing an Arctic Ease live read
Adam is going to get a cool suit, like a cooling suit for racing as he’s getting old.
Adam is now trying to get them to smell his racing long johns once again, this has happened before, are these the minty ones?
Adam is now calling for Maxipada, BB comes up with PreTSD as Gina is dreading this experience and Adam says he hasn’t cleaned the formerly sopping wet racing long john/suit liner.
Maxipada confirms it was 122, he says the iPhone was almost too hot to hold, Adam is father describing how he wore this thing and it was even crumpled up possibly still wet and left in a bag, it could have been dried, he’s unsure.
Gina is claiming she’s going throw up and cites her Cheetos she just ate, she sniffed it and says it smells like really old musty dirt, she says there is no BO.
Gina says it smells “Pungent” and BB says it’s a slight rusty scent, BB is sort of agreeing with him and Gina claims she has a stronger sense of smell since her sinus surgery, hilarious “Jew whispering” from Adam and BB.
Gina says this doesn’t smell like body odor, Adam is now sharing his argument and says that a left out sweater would smell the same, no B.O.
Gina begs for him to not put it in her face again, Adam is telling her to close her preconceived notions and he’ll concede some dankness to her.
Gina asks if it has a silver layer to reduce the odor, Adam wants confirmation he’s got a superhuman lack of B.O.
Adam is doing a Simply Safe Live Read
Adam explains the scale, cat and hibachi included.
1st Caller Bob, he’s telling the gang about the psychiatric prison unit incident where a man wiped himself down with his sink saved poop, Adam is now asking for Bob’s number to use this story to defend his sink urination to her and show her how worse things could really be.
Bob is telling them about this prisoner and his painting, his Bob Ross impression and Adam comments on the days where crazy meant someone thought they were Napoleon, not doing this or committing mass murder.
Adam is sharing how if you live someone alone with nothing, eventually “quill up the ass!” and anyone will start embracing “fecal expression” and Adam suggests providing them Sharpies on a string.
Adam is asking him about it was cleaned up, he says that inmates are paid 1 dollar an hour and clean it themselves.
Adam shares how would designs his prison with slanted drains and overheads sprinklers, Bob explains how they must take safety precautions with the people he locks up who often have a very good vertical leap, hilarious reaction from Bob.
Gina is asking him about his first day on the job, he explains he was at a regular psychiatric hospital prior to this, Adam is asking him what percentage of prisoners don’t really need to be there.
Adam says he doesn’t like nonviolent people locked up, bob brings up the abundance of pedophiles and estimates about 20% of the people don’t belong in his prison, he once again references Bob Ross.
Adam is now giving him about 21, he says it’s due to the super depressing conditions, BB says 25.
Bob is now arguing for a higher score, Adan wraps it up with Bob and says 25 it is.
2nd Caller Blake, Adam remarks on how they used to play this at like 6 in the morning, Blake brings up the formula V drivers and he says you got to watch those guys, he is telling them about a veterinarian experience and Adam says at least she made it, praising a woman who made it all the way through with the childhood dream.
Adam says that it must be in the high 90’s for young women who want to be a veterinarian as an adult, Adam shares how he was realistic about his football prospects and how his son can even tell he’s not going to be taking on LeBron.
Adam says it’s the same percentage of men who fantasize about a sports career women who wanted to be veterinarians as kids.
Adam is asking him about the hobo power, he describes a thick viscous lean and brown fluid, and he says they got a pint of fluid.
He says it smelled like a deer being gutted and shares how the basement the cat healed in still smells to this day.
Adam gives him a 17 ½ and tells BB about being in a good mood about ‘Winning’ opening in Toronto and being held over for another week after a successful run.
Adam says this is like his 2nd Date Theory and explains how it works, it’s all based on ticket sales and the ultimate confirmation of success, no thank you needed.
Adam thanks the Canadian fans and shares his love for them.
Adam is now doing a live read for Mazda
Gina shares her love for her Mazda, her first purchased car and couldn’t be more emphatic.
3rd Caller Pat, he’s got some kind words for the whole gang.
Pat talks about guys pissing outside of their trucks in parking lots, Adam talks about how truck driver went from a job to a folk hero, a romantic notion according to BB and then it turned into fat whore fucking, shitting eating piece of shit…
Adam says it’s not like podiatrist has had this much range and Adam says the phrase “evil architect” and BB seems to bite his tongue, never thought I would hear that again on this show.
Adam is now telling Pat he’s in danger of causing his own peril by peppering Adam with various topics, Pat is now telling them about his fishing experience, Adam says he probably saw a lot of good men beat off.
Pat is telling them about some “goodbye cods” that decayed and left the boat filled with decomposing fish, Adam asks about women on the boat and Pat has a killer reply.
Adam is telling people to name their hands instead of their dicks, BB names his Gina and has a killer “mouthy bitch” joke.
Pat tells him he threw up twice, Adam gives him a 26 and calls him the winner.
They wrap up the segment.
Hooray for Baldywood
BB saw ‘Inside Out’ and Adam has some opening Pixar movie love talk, BB shares the creative background of this film. BB asks Adam if he’s seen ‘Wall-E’ since, Adam says that’s where his “Cockroach” story comes from and how he had his nanny Olga translated the lyrics.
BB has an interesting idea about the origins of the term “Roach Coach” and Adam confesses he never saw the movie stem to stern, BB says it’s great and Adam says they re-watched ‘Cars’ and he says it holds up.
BB is now breaking down the plot of the new movie, he goes fairly in depth and plays a clip of Amy Poehler form the film.
BB says it’s like ‘Herman’s Head’ and Adam says he didn’t watch a lot of it but he does recall it, BB is over the moon with the inventiveness for the film, BB is now saying that the people who give the negative reviews to this are doing it to get attention.
Gina shares a scathing review she heard on the radio, Adam is commenting on the guy’s line about the animation style, Adam says it sounds poetic but he’s not sure what it means.
In Adam’s utopia we take those 4 people and decertify them, either for giving a bogus review to get attention for being so far off the mark in comparison to the overwhelming consensus.
Adam talks about Boxing and the judging process and how it compares to objectively judging a film, he explains how they fire judges for scoring things inaccurately.
Adam says either the mob paid you or you’re legitimately incompetent and either way you got to go.
BB is now sharing some of the poignant elements of the film and says the jokes are in there for the adults.
BB says he cried and gives it a strong A.
Adam is doing a Legal Zoom Live read
Adam plugs the live show makeup at the Cash creek after his backpack was stolen on the last trip attempt, Gina brings up her mother who bought Adam’s latest book and really enjoyed it while on a cruise.
Adam says it’s weird that he’s managed to attract people in his own life who somewhat reflect his parents, he says he doesn’t need the attention and presume she’s never read the books.
1st Story is on Barack Obama’s appearance on Marc Maron’s WTF podcast, she’s now playing a clip from it but they’re waiting to get it to play.
Adam is hearing this out of context, he’s going to react, and BB is now giving context and says that he was saying that society had improved just before those comments.
Adam is now talking about the doubling down we’ve done on race dialogue since we got a black president, Adam likes the progressive part of this but doesn’t like the people profiting off of weaving a false narrative.
Adam says you would feel like we’re more racist in 2015 than we were in 1999, Adam had felt like we had moved on way back then.
Adam says that he’s sure that whatever was going on today was going on in 2000 and perhaps in even greater numbers than today.
Adam is sharing how he thinks we can now convert every altercation into a race based event.
Gina asks if Adam thinks that the president influences these discussions and now Adam is asking how people would feel about the era of a two term black president if you traveled back in time and asked them about it without giving them the year.
Adam says that the news cycle and Al Sharpton are employed by not letting people move on from a narrative of a bygone era in this country.
Adam says that the last 6 ½ years have been more of this stuff, Gina asks Adam about the recent violent assault and murder of black people by police officers.
Adam is talking about random events segregating non randomly as Drew would always tell him, the penny doesn’t flip in order and now he’s further explaining how this stuff is constant and making a point about what does or doesn’t make the news cycle.
Adam says that he thinks racism is horrible and he doesn’t think that a country calling itself racist over and over again is a healthy thing and he doesn’t want it for the children, he doesn’t want it for his own.
Adam says good for Marc Maron and says good for Podcasts, how nice.
2nd Story is on Eddie Van Halen slinging some mud at Michael Anthony, Adam says that Michael and Sammy Hagar who they hear a clip from are both super nice guys and the widely known reputation of Eddie being a dick.
Adam is now doing a live read for Credit Karma
Adam is asking BB if he was talking to him about refinancing and Adam is now sharing his “there is now good credit, there is only bad credit”.
3rd Story is on Taylor Swift’s Tumblr post that reshaped Apple’s business model, Adam has a killer “is that the gay website where you hook up with dudes” one liner.
Gina is now quoting the back and forth and she says it wasn’t going to really affect her but she was doing it for all of the independent artists who wouldn’t have been paid during their free trial.
Adam is now talking about the bizarre technological future we find ourselves in and cites the ability to be sued by a patent troll.
Adam says there is no precedent for a lot of this stuff and it needs to be come up with on the fly.
Adam is now joking about the age of consent and riffing a town hall meeting where Hawaii is working their way to 16, Adam is back to his analogy.
BB now says there must have been people on the opposite side of the debate for the age of consent, Adam jokes about a guy who started with 9, and Adam is now calling it and 06 model.
4th Story is on the AT&T data capping that had led to a 100 million dollar lawsuit, Gary shares the struggle of losing his unlimited data.
Adam is now mocking Gary and his OCP upper middle class 1st world problems, BB is chiming in and they all do a down with OCP closer for the news, Adam’s “I’ll give you a little dank” clip is a solid closing drop.
Adam is now doing a live read for Score Big
Adam plugs the #LOTJ promotion they’re doing and Dawson gets on mic to plug a screening of ‘Winning’ and BB closes the show to Adam who wants to do some coke and fuck a 14 year old. This show was crazy.