Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 05/20/2016 – Chris Shiflett, Live from The Irvine Improv

Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 05/20/2016 – Chris Shiflett, Live from The Irvine Improv

A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS

Guest Chris Shiflett, Live from The Irvine Improv

Recorded 05-19-2016 – Release Date 05-20-2016

Production Number #1826

Show Page

Adam is opening the show to a funny ‘The Food Fighters’ intro form Dawson and Lynch, Chris Shiflett is making his ACS debut.

Adam plugs his new podcast ‘Walking The Floor’ and Adam welcomes BB and Gina to the show, BB has a screaming DAG #TopDrop

Adam is mocking Chris’s minivan and says he would drown one of his kids in order to drive something cool.

 

Adam is talking about the arguments between husbands and wives and how you need parity, Adam says that Gary has a picture and he tells them about their home that’s surrounded by elderly people staring at their home like they’re stuck in an aquarium.

Adam is explaining he’s gone all day and has no idea what his fucking neighbors are doing, they’re volunteering to stare out their window and judge everything Adam is doing.

Adam is joking about old neighbors demanding to know if squirrels are fucking in the woods, they would have been ok with it if you can and asked them first, Adam jokes about needing permission to take a shit in his own home.

 

Adam says they have no way to get a bobcat into their back yard unless they go through the neighbor’s yard or go full ‘Operation Dumbo Drop’ with a C-130.

Adam says otherwise they dig the pool El Chapo style and he riffs about doing it ala ‘Shawshank Redemption’ and BB busts out a fairly decent Morgan Freeman impression and Adam mocks the white audience by saying it’s a Denzel Washington impression.

Adam is sharing how they did the soft sell with the neighbor guy behind them, he remarks on the backup beeper on the bobcat and the nonstop Ranchero music.

 

Adam says his Spidey Sense was tingling and he knows that they were starting to get fed up with the constant traffic and bobcat noise.

Adam says he walked in to the bedroom on Wednesday night and told his wife they need to get the old couple a gift basket, they needed to preemptively strike with a basketful of goodies.

Adam says they needed 40 yards of dirt to grade the backyard, they had two choices and he explains how they could have done it while walking sideways through the dog run scratching your knees or hurting your dick on the stucco.

 

Adam says he got word from the contractor that they couldn’t use the backyard and Adam jokes about being able to order conveyer belts, he got this call right as his nanny was walking through the door from ‘Trader Joe’s’ and he jokes about telling her to shove it up her ass.

Adam mocks his wife’s “We can still give them the basket” logic and her follow up reply, Adam is going over this take on the basket and the wasted money.

Adam thinks if the basket would have arrived before the contractor made the request it might have worked; it might have helped.

 

Adam is joking about Chris and his neighbors, funny “Jew Fighters” joke and he tells them about the assembly line of dirt they had to set-up.

Chris asks if it was an aggressive no and Adam says it was akin to someone telling you not to go talk to a friend after an affair or some egregious incident, the “no don’t go talk to him” hand on the shoulder.

Chris is happy that even Adam has these nightmares with construction after being a contractor, Adam is riffing about Chris hopping the minivan and cruising, hilarious minivan accoutrement comedy.

 

Adam is joking about loose animal crackers and taking a hit of a juice box while on the open road.

Chris talks about buying the wrong car in his attempt to be a car guy a few years back, it just collected dirt.

Adam is bringing up his last two concerts, ne 3 concerts and talks about seeing The Foo Fighters with Kevin Hench and the Stevie Knicks performance.

 

Adam is commenting on how she handed him both her sunglasses and her mic.

They talk about her mistaking him for a stage tech and he talks about playing as her backing band for several live shows, he’s self-effacing and doesn’t expect her to know who he is nor does he badmouth her, he’s very kind.

Adam is asking about playing cover songs and working with guest artists, Adam wasn’t at the show for Dave Grohl’s birthday and Adam is now asking Chris about the extra work of having to play new songs with possibly unstable contributors.

Adam finds out that Chris has been with the band since 1999.

 

Adam talks about how cool of a band he’s a part of, he says the last 5 or 6 years have really been wild and they talk about the documentaries and art surrounding the band.

Adam asks him how Dave sets up writing and recording, he says they have a clear calendar for the first time and they will make an album when they do and then do it all again.

Adam is complimenting Dave Grohl and what a great guy he is, Chris has a very solid point about possibly joining one of Scott Weiland’s bands and BB objects and is now selling the guest down the river for being honest.

 

Adam is joking about his minivan not sending the message of choking on your own vomit.

Adam says that Pat Smear described what happened to Dave’s ankle when he slipped and it hurt Adam’s teeth and Adam jokes about Ups shipping for Dave’s hard rock throne.

Adam comments on the Endless Rant keg already being gone and how they never order enough, he gets a bottle delivered to him on stage.

 

What Can’t Adam Complain About
1st WCACA
Katie, wants to know if Adam can somehow complain about The Foo Fighters.

Adam is now using how he ran into Kevin from ‘Kevin and Bean’ and was teased about the guest performer and how he was racking his brain with possibilities and how disappointed he was to see Stevie Knicks and listen to one of his least favorite songs ‘Gold Dust Woman’ and see her give her blublockers to Chris.

Adam is talking about Dave rocking out while essentially sitting on a toilet and how he was able to overcompensate by going insane, Adam says it was almost a better show seeing him toilet ridden.

 

Adam says even Dave couldn’t get his rock up for Stevie and that song, it was like watching Ron Jeremy unable to get a boner with a woman.

Chris reveals that Ron Jeremy was at that very show and he’s in a tough spot as they might play that song with Stevie again and Adam suggests some other song choices.

Adam also suggests a tray for her to place her cufflinks, the rich guy table for your accessories.

 

They all agree Stevie Nicks will never hear this, has no idea who Adam is and can’t get a “podcart” downloaded.

 

2nd WCACA Sarah wants to know how Adam can complain about tossing the ball with Kevin Costner, Adam is sharing the story of the event and how he was throwing hard spirals with a cannon of an arm.

Adam is describing his weird puss move where he would walk and talk to make up yardage.

Adam is now riffing about trying to pretend he’s manly and can still throw a football, funny riff.

 

Adam jokes about his son judging him for his wet noodle and a labia for an arm, Adam is joking about catching his right nut while trying to snap a football from time to time.

Adam says he’s a celebrity and he’s not supposed to be good at other shit nor have a cannon for an arm like he does.

 

3rd WCACA Lisa, she wants to know how Adam can complain about Philly Cheesesteak (Phil E. Cheesesteak) and Adam gives an update on his dog being at doggy day camp.

Gary has some photos of how big he’s gotten and Adam talks about his jowls and giant tongue that Tony Hawk skates.

Adam says he’s not one of the people who can make out with a dog or feed a horse with an apple form his mouth, BB asks if he knows that for a fact and Chris says he is a dog kisser, Adam changes his tune and riffs about loving to make out with dogs.

 

BB has a dig at Rob and Adam is now saying that when you feed a horse an apple from your mouth there is one way for it to go right and 1,000 ways for it to go wrong.

Adam says you could throw the apple form the other side of Costner’s property the horse gets the same apple and you keep your face.

Adam is asking Chris about his miniature Husky and Adam jokes about the midget lesbian Iditarod race, he has everyone hear him out and is crushing it with funny one liners.

 

Adam is riffing about dog trainers with edible salmon belts they can break off to command a dog, Adam is mocking how they use 8 chicken’s worth of breast to make the dog behave.

Adam says it’s not fair to show up with a sack of food and Adam says he could get a junkie to paint his house with minis sacks of heroin, hilarious Russell name use, this is so funny!

 

Adam is now joking about helping the junkie tie off and he says “my fucking dick, he’s trained!’ he needs to be tended to the entire time.

Adam is crushing this riff and gets back to his dog and mocks lazy whitey who wants a dog but won’t put in the time to train nor walk the dog.

Adam is talking to Chris about his idea to pay the same guy breaking in his loafers to walk his dogs, to activates one paycheck.

 

Adam is now explaining how this really saves some money.

Adam says you can really be a hero to a family and make their day by helping a struggling couple by suggesting that family combine their dog walker with an Italian loafer breaker inner.

Adam makes a point about the neighborhood of women walking the block who feel like it’s’ a job, Adam asks why we don’t get lonely post-menopausal women from the neighborhood to walk our dogs, we charge them to play with our dogs for an hour.

 

Adam is describing how his wife was backing out of the driveway with the dog as the dog walker was showing up to walk him, that’s how Adam got rich!

Adam is talking about his come to Jesus moment with his wife addressing that they both are lazy pieces of shit; Adam is talking about the trainer coming with Phil to help them learn to train him.

Adam is now talking about the trainer will leave and it will be him and his wife beating the dog with a slipper and repeatedly telling it to die, wow this is insanely hilarious, the delivery is so specific and unique!

 

Adam is now joking about being taken out by a California condor when he leaves the house with his chicken belt.

They wrap the bit and move on, killer!

The Best WCACA in a long time!

 

Adam is asking Chris about his podcast and he tells them about his variety of guests and how the ‘Bakersfield Sound’ influenced his decision to start the show.

 

Chris is telling them about his show and schedule, Adam is talking about creating an archive for these people that would otherwise be forgotten to time, the irony.

Adam says it’s nice to have prosperity and Chris days podcasts didn’t exist 10yrs ago but Adam had one on iTunes, 40k+ listeners per day.

 

Gina’s News

1st Story is on the first penis transplant, Adam jokes about the shorter time for the procedure if he gave his dick to science.

Adam jokes about the recipient having a press conference with such a delicate topic.

Adam says when you get cancer of the cock that is god telling you to stop fucking now and he jokes about the next session with your Franken-Cock will cause your death, lighting strike, falling tree etc.

 

Chris is asking about the cock and Adam jokes about it being from a Chinese Rapist and they cut his penis off, mixing up the Japanese Yakuza and severed digits for being caught stealing.

Adam is joking about Gay Eye and riffs about the cock of a serial killer, Adam has them fire up Gay Eye for the audience.

Adam asks for the lights to be dimmed 3-4 times and they play the hilarious Gay Eye, the making of which will never truly be known by most, all compliments to the Genius of Michael Narren.

 

Adam Compliments Bryan Cranston and Adam talks about the penis enlargement techniques they covered on ‘The Man Show’ and how hanging weights seems to be the most effective and Adam jokes about drowning if he ever tried to use the system.

Chris asks how small your dick has to be to hang a weight from it.

Adam is now talking about the human donor tissue for penis surgeries, Adam is back to adding girth to a middle eastern guy’s cock.

 

Adam asks about finding a compatible cock for transplant and Chris talks about putting it on ice, Adam says he would give the guy an uncut dick and jokes about Frank having to get out of work to go get circumcised at 57.

 

Adam is now talking about the patient wanting a huge swinging axe cock and the doctor talking him down like a woman with her breast implant preferences vs. what she actually gets.

Adam has a killer Peter North closer.

 

2nd Story is on the San Francisco Burger King that had a problem with people blocking their doors to the proximity of a rail station.

Adam is talking about working at shitty fast food places in crappy places let alone in serene environments.

Gina says the owner started blasting classical music 24/7 outside of the establishment and Adam says her was thinking she was going to tell him about them adding some of his birds to the process.

 

Adam is talking about them sending falcons after drones and BB says it’s shocking a drone has not brought down a plane yet.

Adam asks why not let birds do our fucking bidding, they fly around doing nothing why not get them to accomplish shit for us while flying.

Adam has Gary show them some footage of a falcon taking out a drone and Adam jokes about it raping the drone on the ground just to show everyone who’s boss.

 

Adam asks how cool it would be to a falconer and Chris tells them about doing some falconry, he says you actually use a hawk and he explains you stick meat in between your fingers, he was in a castle in Ireland.

Adam thinks Falconer could trump any gig at a cocktail party, Adam is now setting up an improv scene with Chris playing himself and Adam is now Steve, he jokes about the “how do you know Larry?” questions from dinner parties and he asks why everyone needs to know that.

Adam is mocking the logic of asking these dumb questions and says he used to rape the party host, whoa!

 

Adam is now riffing with Chris, trying to determine what he does for a living while at this fictitious dinner party.

Adam as Steve the Falconer just trumped him and says he will be the guy by the punch bowl with the birds of prey discussion charming all the ladies.

 

Adam is talking about how we have made animals friends through the use of animation and he jokes about how friendly Hyenas and Polar Bears seemed.

Adam says that owls, hyenas and polar bears are the most scare and fucked up animals on earth.

Chris tells them about going on Safari down in South Africa and the insane stuff you see; he describes the hyena as looking like Satan with a wildebeest leg hanging out of his mouth.

Adam is now riffing about animals treating wildebeest legs in other animal’s teeth like happens with humans at restaurants when eating spinach or other green leafy items in a dish.

 

Adam is joking about spending a lot of time in Fresno and San Jose, he knows what it’s like on the road, the electricity of the live show.

Adam is joking about refusing to play Sun city until Mandela was let out, hilarious riff and a “yeah but still” from Adam.

Adam stayed true and obviously there was a paycheck the Foo Fighters needed, Adam is a little more civic minded and he then gets back to reality and asks Chris about playing in South Africa.

 

Adam is talking about how he asks bands about where they’re big around the world and he jokes about Dana Gould’s Planet of the Apes material not going over well in Japan.

Adam is asking Chris what places they’re huge, he says the UK and Adam takes it back to the Mandela imprisonment and his vow to never play there either, it’s a curse knowing this much history – Adam

 

Adam is doing a Castrol Live Read

Mini husky riff mocking Chris edition

 

3rd Story says that hairy chests are back in style and BB proclaims he knew it would come back, implying he keeps his chest hairy, TMI bro!

Adam is now talking about this being a reaction to the waxed down men aesthetic, Adam is sharing his preference for big old titties and normal asses.

Adam asks when as hair is making a renaissance, if that ever becomes in vogue he’s leaving his family because he can really lather up some soap with his ass hair.

 

Adam is talking about the unanimous no form women regarding hairy asses, Adam says hair does not want to grow on the ass and he comments on the football shower scene of films of yore, ‘The Longest Yard’ and how most dudes have bare asses, Adam has zero back hair but tons of ass hair.

Adam shares the “peanut butter out of a shag carpet” description of his asshole and Gina has a killer reaction, holy shit! It’s like she’s never heard this before, so great!

Adam and BB marvel at Gary googling pictures of hair backed guys with bare asses and the wrap the news, nice “Ohhh Gary!” drop from ‘Weird Science’ and the head into a live read.

 

Adam is doing a great SimpliSafe Live Read

“that’s Mexican for me” – Adam after a killer Mix-up of Spanish and French and then use of Mexican, awesome acting and BB even has to weigh in.

 

Adam asks Chris about the band and jokes about Stevie Nicks and her stroke cane ruining the next tour as he gives out the plugs and wraps up the show, killer episode!

Maybe my favorite live episode of the year so far!