Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 05/19/2015 – Dennis Hof and Jo Koy

Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 05/19/2015 – Dennis Hof and Jo Koy

A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS

Guest Dennis Hof and Jo Koy

Recorded 05-18-2015 – Release Date 05-19-2015

Production Number #1578

Show Page

Adam opens the show to a “Secondhand Smoke Survivor” intro and plugs their #LOTJ hashtag for social media, Adam is fresh from the LBC and Jo asks him about it.

Adam is talking about neighborhoods with salvaged fencing, makeshift as BB puts it.

Adam is talking about the “we’re trapped on this island and must forage for things to use” mentality which leads to the super hackneyed construction stuff that bugs him.

 

Adam is talking about the tight bathroom they once again had to film in, Gina asks why no mediocre to semi-decent places are ever worked in, the McMansions as it were.

Adam is talking about his billing and invoices that kept him from properly charging clients for the amount the owed, BB asks if you can negotiate with contractors in todays’ world as Adam is still mired in his low self-esteem that kept him from charging a fair amount let alone price gouge anyone.

Adam is telling BB about the sliding scale of contract bids, he says the cheapest bid is always the bogus and probably illegal one.

 

Adam had Skip look unhappy in the photo of them in the bathroom, Adam comments on the tiny house frame to make note of how tiny the bathroom.

Gina asks if they’ve ever busted the same guy twice, he tells her about Manny from season 1 and 2, revealing he’s the “I changed my mind motherfucker” contractor and BB admits he never put two and two together, Gina seems to recall it now.

 

Adam is doing a Stamps.com live read

 

Adam is asking Jo about Japanese fondue, Adam is now riffing a new maître d’ scene, Bung Lu Su/PF Changes waiter dude is now in the mix and BB joins them.

Adam is going back and forth, Gina has some input and Jo is doing the riff about his name pronunciation.

Adam is the guest of Jo Koy and is trying to get into a restraint to see him, Gina is rubbing in Adam’s lack of service along with BB.

Adam mentions the Evil Knievel poster that Jo bought him, complimenting what a nice guy he is.

 

Adam is doing yet another lap, they added his middle name ‘Lakers’ into the interaction, BB leads Gina in for an additional bit, Gina has a funny “extra booth” line and delivery, nice performance in it.

Adam closes out the scene, they further plug Jo’s restaurant and he says they should serve Mangria there, Adam is for it and Jo says they need to alert Mike August.

 

Adam is doing a Castrol live read

 

Jo has a cute “Joy Koy” anecdote regarding Atlantic City, he asks Adam about his experience there and he tells them about the Jay Leno call he received while in the customs line in Toronto.

Adam is sharing the story of Jay offering up a ride with back home, Adam is going over the beats and explains how Jay stuck around for him, they were wheels up before 11pm.

Jay even drove Adam home in his fiat after they landed, Adam has a funny one liner.

 

Adam is telling them about the experience of flying home with Jay and his 6 buddies who don’t drink and how desperate he felt pounding his mini bottles.

Adam has a rule of life about getting drunk while on a private jet, Jo praises Delta and shits on American, Gina asks him he has a known traveler number.

Adam is talking about the 3 years of his life that were destroyed by someone telling him about the pre-check process, I somehow dodged any blame, nice.

 

Adam is explaining how he finally drove to LAX and had the demoralizing experience of paying to park and not fly anywhere, Adam says he has a New Jersey license plate and has for several years, he often gets asked where New Jersey is and what country it’s in.

Adam is having Jo do an impression of the out of it foreigner manning the security desk in the parking garages of LAX.

Adam and Jo are doing a great back and forth, Adam is telling him about the Jaguar cars coming through the port of New Jersey.

 

Gina is amazed people are this clueless, Adam says these are little indicators that we’re not heading in the right direction.

Gary is now on mic, confirming the length of time it took for him to get his known traveler number, they now have an office in Glendale and Adam wasted his life.

 

Adam is sharing how he was watching ’60 Minutes’ on Sunday, he tells them about the National Museum of African American History and Gary gets on mic to give the details.

They play a clip from the episode.

Adam is sharing his reaction to Chuck Berry supposedly filming women using the restroom, Adam is reading the details of the lawsuit and settlement.

 

Adam is now suggesting they put Chuck’s Cadillac in the parking lot and make room for one more of Cosby’s sweaters.

Adam mentions the underage victim and makes a great point about honoring only those of strong moral character as well as historical significance.

BB addresses the reality of humans and almost makes a counter point but they move on.

 

Q and Ace

1st Caller Daryl works in radio and models his career after Adam, Adam is now on a tangent about “Deathdog” aka J.S. the former KLSX employee who was posting negative things about the cast and the show on their own official KLSX message board before it was bulleted and replaced with something much worse.

Gina has some info and BB is now busting out the Fake Jack Silver bit, Gina says that he told her he was asked to do that by the higher ups at the studio.

BB comments on his library of drops that were deleted after 2007 and how that couldn’t have been done by an underling.

 

Adam is sharing how they were able to bust the guy based on his multiple spelling errors, they were able to track it back to his website spelling errors.

Dawson shares how it caused frustration among the staff, Daryl wants to know how to get to a bigger market and now Adam offers up some practical advice.

 

Adam asks the Lady that works security at LAX (parking) if she knows where Albany is, good improv.

Adam tells him about doing a free Saturday morning weekend show for KROQ as Mr. Birchum, BB wants the history of the name ‘Deathdog’ and Gina cites the ‘American Dad’ reference that could be the source.

“Find an open slot and fill it… even if she’s sleeping” – Adam

 

2nd Caller John, he compliments the great ‘Not Taco Bell Material’ and says it’s the funniest/best autobiography and Gina threatens/promises her book is forthcoming.

John’s car AC stopped working and he wants to know how to find a reputable guy, he tells him to go to an AC specialist, preferably a mom and pop shop.

Adam is bringing up his cursed car that he tried to force an AC system into, Adam shares how his car was backed into and didn’t get serviced as he had the keys with him the whole day.

 

Adam is now doing a live read for Onnit

Adam chugs Hemp Force edition

“There is no free lunch in lunch” – Adam on how natural foods can only be disguised so much, he praises Onnit for getting things to the height of tasty before bringing in any bullshit or unhealthy ingredients.

 

3rd Caller Jesse wants to know why he must go over 60 miles before his gas gauge reflects his full tank, Adam says he wants a nanny cam in his gas tank.

Adam and BB have a funny back and forth.

Adam is bringing up the digital mileage/gas gauges of modern cars and how they fool him into a false sense of security “I’ve travelled 11 feet bitch!” – Adam.

Gina comments on Adam bringing it back to his nanny cam for gas tanks idea.

 

Adam is explaining how the algorithm works for mileage and fuel consumption, Jo brags about the Tesla and rubs it in.

Adam is giving out the plugs and they head to break.

 

Dennis is now making his ACS debut, he was on the KLSX show 3 times, twice in 2006 and once in 2007.

Adam comments on the clip of Dexter Holland from Take a Knee, explaining the context and he’s now asking Dennis about his new book.

Adam shares why he doesn’t like Judith Regan due to her being late to a meeting at the hotel she was staying at, 45min late to a meeting she initiated at the place closest to her.

 

Adam is now asking Dennis about his journey, he explains how when he was 8 years old he met Marilyn Monroe and Adam has a funny key grip one liner about it being her second to last movie.

Dennis tells Adam about dating a working girl and Adam jokes about her charging him after every BJ.

Dennis is sharing the story of Andy Kaufman and Bob Zmuda’s history with him and the ranch, Adam comments on how Bob would fuck girls who thought they were sleeping with Andy, yikes.

ACS #300 (feat. James Gunn, Teresa Strasser & Bob Zmuda)

Adam is asking about the menu, Dennis is telling them about their definition of orgy and he’s now sharing a story of a massive orgy he was in with Ron Jeremy.

Dennis says that he distracted Ron with free food, Adam is saying it’s very convenient for the guy with the huge cock to suggest you have an orgy like the hot chick trying to get her overweight friend into a bikini.

Dennis is sharing how men want the girlfriend experience and advocates for men who want to relive their youth after tiring of their wives.

 

Dennis is suggesting his ranch being used to save marriages, Adam is asking him about the staff of the ranch and he explains how college students and teachers often end up working at his place to pay of loans and makes ends meet.

 

Adam is asking Dennis about how he starts a girl off who has never been with many partners, Dennis says the rules of his place mean that nobody has to do anything they don’t want to do.

Dennis says he pays 1.5 million a year in taxes.

“Dennis I want anal, now! Pronto!” – Adam asking him how that would go.

 

Gina says that she bets these women are gurus at not making men feel rejected, Dennis confirms that and Adam asks him about the biggest “whale” clientele base.

He says that girls and women are now about 12% of their customer base.

Gina asks if anyone lives at the ranch, she doesn’t get heard and Adam reiterates her question after Dennis is done with his threesome commentary.

 

Adam is joking about sending some young jihadists to the bunny ranch to get a new perspective, Dennis shares how he was giving free sex to Iraq war veterans.

Dennis mentions his friends Jim Norton and Colin Quin and their USOP tours, Adam is asking him about Jim.

 

Adam is now doing a Blinds Galore live read

Adam’s crinkled foil idea edition

 

Dennis is telling them about getting Jim the gig at the AVN’s and how they all ended up in a hotel room with Ron Jeremy, Adam is sharing a the more you know about “washing your cock and balls before you leave the house” and Dennis is now sharing the story of the threesome between Jim and Ron.

Dennis is sharing a picture of the festivities and you can see it via the show page link above, Dennis references ‘Tough Crowd’ and now Adam is talking about the polite elderly couple he met in Atlantic City, Jim Norton’s parents.

Adam is marveling at what a weirdo Jim is and gives out another plug for Dennis’s new book.

 

Adam is asking Dennis if he ever has to tell anyone they might not make a lot of money at the ranch, Dennis has a very positive and kind of uplifting take on women and their bodies, a feminist by default kind of.

Gina is now talking about her “cackle” and how she would reel it in if she was working the ranch, as not to mock the penis size of the clientele.

 

Dennis is telling them about the living situation and Adam asks how he knows they’re not shorting or grifting him, he tells them about the secret shoppers they employ and how the girls will be caught for doing it.

Adam and BB are now riffing about secret shoppers and Adam invents “Spunky Monkey’ and describes a “turducken move” the “TurFucken or Norton Special” where Ron Jeremy takes him up the ass as he is boning a Thai girl.

Dennis is sharing how his secret customer program works, he says it doesn’t last long and the girls eventually figure out who the guys are.

 

Adam is doing a Life Lock Ultimate Plus live read

Dennis Hof endorses Life Lock edition, the real fucking deal!

Adam is now riffing about the items on his credit card statement, he’s asking him what they stock there and he tells them about the chefs they have revolving through.

Gina has a question and Dennis is telling them about a guy who wanted to have the greatest Christmas and ended up spending over 2 million dollars.

 

Dennis plugs the Mangria and says he doesn’t usually drink so he’s feeling the buzz, he explains he doesn’t spend much money at strip clubs while making an analogy to his ranch and how you can spend as much or as little as you want.

Adam is telling them about Dr. Drew’s disinterest in strip clubs, Dennis is back to Andy Kaufman and his real world kink of wrestling women before “getting down.”

Dennis tells them that Bob Zmuda is there so often he estimates he’s had sex with over 4k different women, holy shit life is meaningless.

 

BB takes it back to Gina’s earlier question and asks if any holidays or national tragedies have slow business, Dennis is now sharing the “I want to be a working girl” anecdote and Adam jokes about a “Fucko” (FUCO) score, he says he’s punchy and defends that bizarre joke.

 

Dennis is now sharing the rest of the story and explaining how they fulfill people’s fantasies, Dennis says the guys can do what they want to do for as long as they want.

Dennis says in 23 years they haven’t had an incident, explaining that nobody wants to get arrested at his ranch, he even works his low insurance rate in, explaining nobody wants to explain they slipped outside his ranch.

 

Adam is now doing a live read for Seat Geek

Dennis endorses Seat Geek too, he suggests a job swap with BB.

 

Adam is now giving out the plugs and wrapping up the show, no news for Gina…

BB plays the “Stop by the Bunny Ranch and see Gina” drop from Dennis to close out the episode.