11 May Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 05/06/2015 – JL Cauvin
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – JL Cauvin
Recorded 05-05-2015 – Release Date 05-06-2015
Production Number #1569
Adam opens the show with a plug for the upcoming live show, he says that Brad Williams is “The bouillon Cube of Comedy” and BB suggests the forego that new nickname, BB plays the ‘String Em Up!’ drop from Michael Jai White and Adam asks Gina about the flashing she experienced outside the studio.
Gina calls it a micro phallus and she describes an average sized penis, Adam and BB are now yelling at her in unison and now Adam is explaining how if you can see flesh before and after the fist it must be ok, Gina has a shocked reply.
Adam and BB are now further riffing with her, Adam says he doesn’t know what she’s used to and she has a gleeful reply.
Adam and BB are now killing this, hilarious improv chops.
Gina apologizes calling it a micro phallus and Adam is arguing the fact that the guy was able to whip it around means he had enough cock for it to get whip like movements.
Gina explains how it looked like it was going up and down and not side to side, Adam is now bringing up the guys who take a piss and pull some move, he’s using POV pornography to make a point.
Adam is describing the penis tug move that some guys do to empty out their dick after peening, Adam says he does the flick move even though it’s far less effective he just feels tugging on his dick seems strange, Gina finishes his sentence saying it feels “masturbatory” and is now asking Adam about pissing in the sink.
Adam is now explaining how he used to be able to pee in the sink at his old house but the new place has a recessed sink and it’s a bridge to far for Adam to cover.
Adam is now polling the guys what their preferred move is, Gary and Dawson weigh in.
Adam talks about BB stretching out his penis length over time by tugging, Caelan does both and Adam is commenting on how most men seem to be shakers.
Adam has a killer “Matt if you had a dick!?” and Matt somehow recovers and tops it with a killer reply, Adam references ‘Rocky Horror Picture Show’ and Gina loses it.
Adam is talking about dudes pretending to survey the environment while pissing out their car door, Gina asks Gary if he “take’s a knee” and Gina has a very Gina reply.
Adam is now inventing the Cock Block device for use in cars, to allow men to pee in privacy outside of their car door, Gary has a hilarious reply about work-shopping the name and Adam jokes about already having the domain secured.
Adam now says its ‘Coq block’ with a Q and Gina has a nice reaction.
Adam says he would greatly prefer this device over an umbrella in a car door, Adam is now bringing up the people who dig further and more aggressively into their nostrils when caught picking while in traffic, Adam uses people with big zits who mention them to take the weirdness out of an interaction.
Gina notes she has a forehead zit and Adam clarifies he wasn’t talking about her.
Adam is now doing a Shari’s Berries live read
Adam is telling them about arriving at a ‘Catch a Contractor’ taping and how he was told about the show and him both being submitted for the prime time Emmy awards.
Adam was certain he wouldn’t even be nominated nor the show due to his connection to it and how his wife was able to convince him to not be so negative.
Adam is now citing Heidi Klum’s multiple wins and her lack of content and presence on her various reality show gigs.
Adam is complimenting Howie Mandel and Howard Stern in comparison for their work on ‘America’s Got Talent’ and now Adam is listing off the various hosts who have won over the years.
Gina brings up the ratings and network TV element and how popularity might have played a role, Adam says there is an element of giving awards to perceived minority groups over the standard white guy host, Adam suggests the Tom Bergeron should win for his heavy lifting and flawless work in a very specific and challenging role.
Adam says Heidi is a genius for the amount of income she has been able to generate vs. her talent level.
Travis with a new round of his game, they talk about Heidi Klum a bit more.
Greater Than/Less Than – Theme song Edition
- World’s most expensive Pie vs. most caloric cheeseburger
They’re all weighing in and Adam brings up the guy who ran the ‘Heart Attack Grill’ and Travis informs them of the most expensive pie at over 13k and burger from the aforementioned restraint with over 9k calories.
- Number of presidents with doctorate degrees vs. presidents with tattoos
Gina shares her military insight about why some former presidents might have tattoos, they ask about honorary degrees and Adam is asking if Bill Cosby has been stripped of his honorary doctorate degrees.
Adam is killing it riffing about how little he probably cares about losing a fake degree vs. OJ and his Heisman.
“Crest on the Chest” – Adam
- Asian Families with a single mom as the head of the household vs. black families with single fathers as the head of the household
Adam is now sharing a theory about mom being incarcerated right as dad is being paroled and Travis struggles to give out the data after that hilarious tangent.
Adam is wrapping up the game and taking home the strap, they play his new theme song.
Q and Ace
1st Caller Fernando, he wants to know if Adam heard the clip of D.L. Hughley on ‘Real Time with Bill Maher’ and basically describes it beat for beat.
Adam is now using the Klan to make a point, he mentions the guest from Monday’s show and how he had him rank their hatred.
Gina has a killer reaction to learning that Jews were formerly at the top of Christian Picciolini’s list.
Adam is now making a point about racist cops and their specific types of hatred, he brings up dark skinned Indian people who aren’t getting abused on the same levels as people of African descent/ethnicity.
Adam is asking why cops don’t abuse all races, Adam is asking if black and Hispanic men are looked at with more scrutiny than Asian men, he says yes and is now on his argument about profiling, how it exists in all aspects of nature and is part of the foundation of police work.
Adam is making a larger point about how coaching up never seems to work and says he’s seen cops put their hands on black men, white men.
Adam is now sharing the story of the time he begged to not have his motorcycle towed and the cop insisted upon ruing his day, Adam says he didn’t approach the cop with any attitude nor aggression.
Adam says the cop eventually felt some pity and told him how the tow truck driver would give him a ride back to his apartment, Adam chose to walk and pouted all the way home.
Adam is telling people to pout instead of getting angry, interesting angle.
Adam is now back to the idea of an open dialogue about race and racism, Adam mentions the black members of the police force and local government of Baltimore.
Adam says that family and education and all of these problems will magically melt away.
Adam brings up the guy running the magnet school programs out of Los Angeles and how he graduates the kids at a higher rate to the tune of 5k less per kid.
Adam is commenting on the schoolboard that shutdown the guy running the program, Adam brings up D.L.’s reply to the person on the panel for bringing up the teacher’s union and its role in failing all kids.
Adam is now doing a Pro Flowers live read
Adam fake messes up the special offer edition+ bonus phone disconnected buzzing.
Gina asks BB if the next call he suggests is the best call to take, “is it?”
2nd Caller Kevin, he wants Adam’s take on petite women driving large trucks with the bumper sticker “silly boys trucks are for girls” and Adam has a killer “Small Clit Syndrome” reply.
Adam says he doesn’t like people driving vehicles outside of the application they’re intended for, he’s describing how he hates seeing a giant truck with mud tires chewing up the road and being overall unsafe in comparison to the smaller lighter cars with better handling.
Adam jokes about people asking him what they plan to do when trapped at the bottom of Snake River Canyon and Adam says he camps with such irregularity he’ll just rent something.
Adam is now telling them about his Dooley Pickup truck and how it is used for what its intended.
Adam checks in with Gary about the clip from Real Time.
3rd Caller Robert, he wants to know if Adam will ever direct a music video and slips in a plug for the former Carolla Digital podcast ‘The Film Vault’ and Adam is now explaining his level of directing training while working on ‘The Man Show’ and the 300 bits they filmed for the show.
BB is explaining how Adam is usually working on something he thinks up and can’t imagine he’ll ever be that passionate about someone else’s work.
They’re now playing the clip and Adam asks why the guy talking on the panel has to be corrected mid-sentence and they go back to the clip.
They stop the clip again and Adam is commenting on D.L.’s hostile body language and refusal to even listen to the other panelist with the sound information and explanation for the exact issue D.L. was asking about.
Adam and BB have a funny transmission repair shop improv scene, Adam is now back to the conversations and brings up the ACS with Gavin Newsom.
Adam is doing a Burger King Croissan’wich Live Read
Adam is heading to break.
They’re back form break.
JL Cauvin is making his 4th in studio appearance and they premier a ‘Mangria’ song from Britt Savage.
JL is commenting on the lack of chemistry between him and Ace, Adam is now explaining how he’s scheduled even when he’s commuting and en route to other jobs.
Adam is explaining how it was nice when he called into the radio show at 7am and was told it was actually scheduled for 7pm.
Gina says Adam’s quotes of the interaction are spoken like a true phone screener, BB interjects and says not a good one.
Adam is commenting on the security guard at E! Who turned him away from the studio and made him nearly miss his appearance on ‘The Soup’.
Adam is commenting on his interaction with Mike August and transitions to ‘Winning’ and how the Latin rights require a limited theatrical release.
Adam is explaining how they needed to work into the promotions that the theatrical release starts on May 8th, he explains it’s not a money thing in terms of box office but for the foreign investors to be assuaged that it has a theatrical release in the United States.
Adam explains that the email blast exchange with Mike August and how he was tweeted about the release date and has spent his evening trying to figure things out.
They’re now playing the latest video from JL Cauvin as Adam Carolla interviewing Jules Dash, Adam is having him plug his YouTube channels and Adam calls him one of the good ones.
BB mocks his accent work and Adam jokes about Jules accents being the language version of a gray race.
Gina’s News
1st Story is an update on the charges against Daniele Watts after her rant about the officer who stopped her, as reported on the ACS last year.
And
Gina has the update on the case and how she must apologize to the officer she went off on in the video that was shared by TMZ.
They replay the video and BB is joking about how cavalier most people are boasting about their knowledge of the law when they really don’t have a clue.
Gina brings up the cards people were printing out and keeping in their wallet that claims you don’t have to roll down your window.
Adam is now using the snot rocket in the fast food analogy to explain how an interaction with a cop could go positive or negative based on your reactions and actions.
Adam is bringing up getting into the club and being cool to bouncers and being polite to cops, the one fighting chance to get out of any exchange with a cop is to kiss ass as much as possible.
Gina brings up the Reese Witherspoon incident after BB asks about people who try and use their fame as a defense or to prevent an arrest.
2nd Story is on the “2 drunk 2 care” DUI manslaughter case and she’s got all of the details of the ruling and sentencing.
Adam jokes about the best county to live in based on the legal driving limit for blood alcohol, joking about selling Lynette on the crappier school district and other crime related issues.
Adam is now sharing the time he was taping with the LAPD, trying to drink and measure it with a breathalyzer and he now rants against the stupid producer guy who tried to tell him about comedy.
BB now plays Adam mocking himself over and over and distracts him, they all laugh about it and Adam transitions to a live read.
Adam is doing a Stamps.com live read
Adam is back to the idea for the car show he did, how they wanted to get him drunk and have the other drivers at the best of their abilities.
The producer wanted to distract the other drivers and add in fake bits, Adam is sharing his argument against the producer idiot who thought he knew comedy better than Adam.
Adam had him get in a car and rolled up the windows to explain it to him, Adam says “forget it” did something spill or happen in the studio, what’s up?
Adam explains how he then had to record a Miata segment after getting shitfaced, Adam jokes about blowing into the breathalyzer and getting a .06 before he left, the cops told him he was fine and let him go.
Adam is explaining that there could be notes an audience member or producer gives that could improve things but there is an element of letting people speak for themselves.
3rd Story is on ‘Duck Dynasty’ The musical that will be shut down after lackluster reception, Gina teases a clip and describes it while she waits for it to be queued up.
Adam brings up the ‘Super Mario Bros.’ movie and they respond to the clip, Adam and BB are doing a great improv scene.
BB mentions ‘Duck Hunt’ and the NES references are complete.
Adam is now doing a live read for Zip Recruiter
Adam riffs on ‘Planet of the Apes’ edition, very funny!
JL is now asking Adam a question and wants his take on the priest making an announcement asking people not to text during his niece’s communion.
Adam has a killer ‘Girls Just Wanna Have fun’ reference for the future decline of society, Adam agrees with JL that is a bad omen.
They’re now looking at the hot chick from ‘Planet of the Apes’ and BB mocks him for making Gary search for a glamour shot from a film where she’s enslaved by monkeys.
Adam gives out the plugs and wraps up the show to his “small clit syndrome” drop.