27 Apr Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 04/27/2015 – Chris D’Elia and Dr. Jeremy Rudnick
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Chris D’Elia and Dr. Jeremy Rudnick
Recorded 04-26-2015 – Release Date 04-27-2015
Production Number #1562
Adam opens the show to a Bruce Jenner inspired intro, he welcomes BB and Gina to the show and BB is telling him about this first pitch experience, threatening to unleash the video too.
Adam thanks the fans and tells them about sending in their book jackets, Adam is talking about how seriously BB has been taking this first pitch and he’s explaining to women why this is such an ordeal for a man over a woman.
Adam says that a guy throwing a first pitch and blundering it is the male equivalent of an embarrassing porn tape of you at 19 for women.
Adam says that throwing a pitch correctly is up there with cock size, Adam is now having BB breakdown the process and how he was able to get some warm up time in due to a fan of the show who worked on staff.
Adam talks about the recipe for disaster these first pitch situations are, Adam talks about having a glove to act as ballast and how softball is the game played by adults, you spend 20 years learning a different game after you become an adult.
BB talks about standing on a tarp, Gina asks if he would’ve looked like a pussy if he came off the pitch, BB tells them about the mascot acting as his catcher, Adam describes the importance of the catcher in making you look good.
BB tells them about the replica shiny ball they gave him, they’re now watching the footage and BB explains his reaction, he says it’s right in the middle, not a highlight reel nor fit for a blooper compilation.
Adam says it’s probably the worst position to be in as a human being, Adam talks about how he used to be a painter and eventually moved to hanging doors to remove the “oh shit I could do that” factor from his job.
BB tells them about a young guy who threw the pitch after him.
Adam is doing an Arctic Ease live read
Gary is on mic endorsing it, BB is lobbing lame jokes and barbs at him, not as funny as Adam’s riff from last week, nowhere close, seems too trying.
Adam is now sharing how someone sent him another angle of the final play of the last Super bowl, explaining how a proper snap would’ve changed the nature of the game.
Adam wants to know why teams aren’t training for this, why does he have to think of it first.
Adam is asking them about Patrick Dempsey getting killed off on ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ and shares the death via “car accident” methodology, asking if perhaps it was written as a mean fuck you to Patrick, who is going off to race full time.
Adam talks about Patrick racing when a man died at Le Mans, Adam says he hasn’t broached this subject with him since seeing him at the movie premier for ‘Winning’ and quotes the “too dangerous” line Patrick gave him when they were in Monterey at the historic races.
Adam is asking about the intent for this pedestrian/common choice for a death, Adam talks about his filmmaking partner Nate Adams who lost two brothers in car related fatalities.
Adam talks about show creators acting out against their actors and cast to get revenge, BB asks about the wristbands that Patrick and co. were sporting during his interview segment from the race they were at.
Gina shares her reaction to learning about the danger in spectating live races and Adam explains the element of death and how it was used to garner excitement from the racers and the fans alike.
Adam comments on roman coliseums with tigers being nerfed and taking the fun out of it.
Adam is doing a Drop Stop live read
They talk about Patrick’s character dying on Grey’s by searching for his dropped phone while driving, Adam reminds the audience that nobody would care as much if we died.
Adam says that according to the gossip website they describe Patrick exhibiting diva like behavior, Adam invents the term “Doucho” for men who act up and Adam talks about how signing up for a race team simply means you have amassed enough wealth to waste it and don’t need a TV job at this point.
Adam shares the “win on Sunday, sell on Monday” bit of logic for big car companies still supporting race teams.
Adam jokes about his “I’ll see you in hell via my insulated port” extraneous wording to make it clear he also won’t be in hell with you while judging you.
Adam invites Chris in early, nice move.
Q and Ace
1st Caller Tom, his mind is blown by the Shonda Rhimes connection re: Dempsey and brings up Katherine Heigl’s infamous smoking re: character cancer death on the show, Adam seems to think Tom is on to something and BB/Gina are probably wrong for arguing the opposite point early.
Adam has a killer Isaiah Washington choking on a pillow case with eye holes in it and then choking on a Buttplug that went down the wrong pipe series of retorts.
Adam is now riffing about the “wrong pipe” no longer being something that happens, he mentions seeing an old ‘The Brady Bunch’ with a white glove test and those have also gone the way of the dodo it seems.
Adam welcomes Chris back for his 3rd possibly 4th visit, he gives out Chris’ plugs and mentions how he’s doing a lot now with the show ‘Undateable’ and his live standup gigs.
Adam is talking about the amount of time wasted to promote things that never seem to move the needle, Chris shares his suspicions that nobody watches the local news anymore and it never seems to impact ticket sales or ratings.
Adam is saying that we’re so saturated that unless we’re dealing with a rabid fan base you’re not going to see results, noting the ‘Tonight Show’ visits that would only sell a handful of tickets.
Chris praises social media and Gina compliments his twitter skills, Adam is talking about people trying to commiserate with him about getting shitty tweets from people nonstop but he only gets it from time to time re: kissing Ted Cruz’s ass.
Adam is now having BB give a health update on his brain tumor, Chris is blown away and BB apologizes for monopolizing the show with his stuff.
BB’s doctor Jeremy is now on the show, Adam thanks him for saving BB’s life.
Adam is asking Jeremy about what happened with BB’s diagnosis, Chris’s reaction to BB informing us that his first doctor waited a week to get back to him about possible treatments.
Adam is now trying to get the darkest impressions from Jeremy, BB has a funny “dick” in reply and Adam is asking about these new therapies using live viruses to kill tumors.
Chris asks about BB’s diet and if he eats well, Adam is asking Jeremy when BB started to turn the corner towards health, Chris has an epic reaction to BB’s shrunken tumor.
Adam asks if there is any reason to have BB undergo one of these treatments, Adam thanks Jeremy, and he knocked it out of the park, what a great dude.
BB is now giving some practical advice for seeking out the best care when illness hits you, Gina shares her feelings about bruising the ego of her doctor by going for a 2nd opinion.
Very interesting discussion.
Adam takes it to Tom, he’s now getting to his question about L. Ron Hubbard or children’s book writers being more of a hack, Adam mocks the “who stole the cookie from the cookie jar” children’s book and how it has multiple writers and artists for that nonsense.
Adam is giving L. Ron his fucking due and complimenting the man’s motor, Chris agrees that none of them could create Scientology, Adam says he could freestyle a children’s book in real time, solid examples of Dennis the Dinosaur, he just wrote a children’s book aka “stack of shit.”
Adam is now putting L. Ron in the category of the chicks who set a world gang bang record, impressive but not something he will be attempting.
Adam is now going in depth with his thoughts on L. Ron, very fair-minded and interesting take.
Chris has a solid “The More you know” thanks to BB’s drop work.
2nd Caller Griffin he’s asking them about the best move when seeing someone litter from their car, he got a middle finger for a cute quip.
Adam is talking about how Los Angeles is quietly the trashiest place on earth as everyone treats it like a rental car, Chris asks him how he delivered the comment.
Griffin gives the woman a 1 on a scale of 1-10, Adam has him clarify his system of measurement after saying “binary” and Adam mocks him for being bi, then gets the actual number a 6.
Adam is talking about the people who dump their ashtrays full of cigarette butts outside in a clump from their car, Adam asks which person you are, and you collect these butts, why not finish the job and dump them too
Adam is talking about DNA testing all of the found butts and flogging the offending tossers on live TV at the Staples center, Adam has some kid/nanny stuff to work out on air, sigh. Gary tells him that the kids are not getting dropped off.
Adam is talking about the state making the dumps free, to keep people from leaving spent mattresses and garbage all over the street.
Adam is now suggesting that if you’re too good to get out of your tuck and pick up some trash you shouldn’t sign up to be a garbage man.
Adam is sharing how making the dump free would change things drastically, Chris suggests it would cost the same amount of money, Adam asks that in a world of free lunches, why not make this free too.
Chris shares his recent sightings of mattresses across town, Gina has a “curb alert” tip and Adam is now explaining how he we have signs about not changing oil over the drains in the street that just get funneled into the bay, but poor people will keep doing that as long as it costs money to properly change their oil and dispose of it.
Adam is doing a Legal zoom live read
Adam asks Dawson about nipping from a flask mid show, Adam says it sends him a bad message like his agent sleeping in the theater, Adam is kind in his criticism, Adam jokes about him drinking eye drops and how he might misconstrue that as Dawson judging the material Adam is generating.
Adam is telling them about taking it easy at his Mangria bar crawl as he had an 8am call time the next morning, Chris shares his need for 9 hours of sleep and how he hates people who can sleep only 3-4 hours.
Adam is now sharing how he would blow 1k sheiks to come up with the sum required to pay someone to augment him to only need 4hrs of sleep.
Adam is sharing how he will take up extra hours in an attempt to catch up on sleep, so whatever you give him for sleep allotment he will take.
Gina’s News
1st Story is on the Dianne Sawyer interview with Bruce Jenner, Gina notes the big stories going on but pushes past them.
Adam is now riffing about a guy who spotted Bruce Jenner in woman’s clothing before he went public with his transition.
They now play a clip of Bruce sharing how he told his kids and family, Adam is reacting to Diane’s biggest freak-out coming from the news that Bruce was a republican and the delight he took in that being the outrageous part of this story.
“He was going to cut off his javelin he once threw and put a sandpit there” – Adam
Gina asks about his voice, she wasn’t that familiar with the man prior to this.
She talks about the awkward start to the chat, Adam is totally understanding this process and has a killer follow up one liner “if he had a magic wand that would get rid of his magic wand…” and now Chris is giving his “you’ve got to hand it to him” take on Bruce’s journey.
Everyone is keeping it lighthearted and hilarious while being totally supportive and progressive in the best possible way, not forced, not full of shit, honest acceptance, appreciation and understanding, bravo!
Chris is now telling them about a documentary about a guy who runs a penis museum and now Adam asks about putting a roller skate and key together, joking about “cock doc” humor.
Adam is now suggesting the doctor tell the patient it’s a long procedure that could take all day, then after seeing the patients dick to say it will only take 45min, pretty good.
Adam talks about interviewing Bruce in the past and how he’s one of the guys who wants you to like him, they don’t mention his appearance on Carcast, can’t find it on the website either…
Gina explains that she had a teacher who was transgendered and had a wife, Adam isn’t clueing into his Loveline training, according to Dr. Drew the majority of Trans male to female patients end up in lesbian relationships, they sometimes need the interconnectedness of a woman but to experience it from a POV they cannot as a man.
Chris is processing all of this out loud and Adam is now riffing about a break in period for a new vagina, again forgetting his Dr. Drew info, which would work for comedy if someone wasn’t correcting him, that ruins the bit and makes Adam just seem ignorant.
Adam jokes about a new vagine being the best and worst news for a new bf, well you used to be a dude but the vag is fresh.
2nd Story is on the white house correspondence dinner, Gina plays a clip of Obama and Keegan-Michael Key from the dinner.
Adam praises Obama and is now blaming the MTV “rock the vote” boxers or briefs question for Clinton in 1992.
Adam shares his desire for a weirdo president who doesn’t get BJ’s nor shoot hoop.
Adam doesn’t want his pilot nor president to be anything like him, he says it’s the narcissism of our culture reflecting back on us now.
Adam is riffing with Chris about his oncologist not needing to be a funny dude he can crack a beer with, they really flesh out this crazy riff.
Adam has a funny “experimental jazz therapy” one liner and even references ‘St. Elmo’s Fire’.
Adam is doing a live read for All Equip
3rd Story is on Lil Wayne’s tour bus being fired at, Gina cues up the “young money, cash money” drop.
Adam is sharing his lack of awareness of Wayne’s music and comments on his facial tattoos, he wants to know why these guys are filling their face with tats and piercings, yet still covered with young pussy.
Adam says his 0 tattoos is the ultimate “I don’t give a fuck” and Chris agrees, Adam is now commenting on the look of Tyga and Gina tells them about dating a man who put peanut butter in his dreads.
Adam asks how much of this is just rebellion and brings up the various types of guys that traditionally got laid, Chris thinks it’s the “I know what’s cool, follow me” element in these men inspiring women to fall for their dumb tactics.
Adam is sharing his lack of interesting piercing, he says some electrolysis on the moustache, teeth whitening and hitting the gym might help.
Adam is now sharing his Loveline wisdom about how they splay open penises and make vaginal canals/vulva out of the remaining male genitalia.
Chris has a funny “transformer” line and now Adam is wondering how much shit that doctor takes at the lounge, forgetting his buddy Dr. Alter who did Loveline about 2 dozen times and he knew quite well.
4th Story is on national masturbation month, Gina brings up the inspiration for this idea.
Adam is now joking about the outfit provided to the surgeon general, Adam is now joking about good vibrations using the term “natural” to define this idea which also happens to generate revenue for them and their less than natural robotic masturbation aids.
“So you shove a cylinder of vulcanized rubber up your twat and that’s a natural way” – Adam
Adam suggests you can get pussy cancer from sex toys, which is actually true due to BPA’s in some manufacturing of typically cheaper toys.
Adam says that some spit and an index finger flicking a bean is natural, anything else is not.
Gina says that Adam and the former surgeon general disagree, but she never said shit about using dildos and vibrators, Gina just went with a convened comment.
Gina tells them her birthday kicks off the month, she wraps up the news and Gary finds a photo of her in her uniform.
Adam is doing a live read for Croissan’wich
Adam is now looking at more pictures, showing the assistant, Adam wants to know why the Surgeon’s general gets a uniform but not the secretary of state.
Adam is wrapping up the show and giving out the plugs.