22 Jul Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 04/29/2016 – Doug Laux and David Portnoy
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Doug Laux and David Portnoy
Recorded 04-28-2016 – Release Date 04-29-2016
Production Number #1811
Adam opens the show to a “his education was so bad he can’t even spell CIA” and Adam tells them about speaking with Leno recently, Gina mentions that his birthday is today and Adam is temporarily freaked out.
BB plays Fred Savage saying “Where’s the sports” in honor of the first Barstool breakdown segment.
Adam is going over his back and forth with Leno about how things are going with the podcast, they both marveled at how nice it is they can both film things in their own garages and do their own things without network interference.
Adam says he was at the woodshop and the cabinets arrived, he’s doing some finish work and was running the table saw.
BB asks Adam how much of the cabinets are complete, Adam limited himself to everything but the cabinets even though he used to do cabinet finishing work.
Adam is now talking about construction and how it’s like life, it can start out one way and the quickly go turn south, he’s further elaborating with a job at William Morris metaphor.
Adam says it gets worse before it gets better when you’re building and remodeling a home, you enjoy the day where things get buttoned back into place and start to resemble the kind of room it is/was.
Gina asks about how they’re eating now, Adam explains that there are two kitchens in the home and it was built so the whole family could live together, Adam predicts it was a Japanese or Armenian family where they wanted to all live together.
Adam says everyone is now eating out of the kitchen that’s in his office, Adam is skipping rope between the huge refrigerator and the wall, Olga will try and thread the needle to get past him and the kids have their own techniques for getting around him while he’s skipping rope in the defacto kitchen.
Adam is telling Gina how long it’s taken to finish the remodel, he says it’s about 4 months shorter than it would have taken had Adam not run the job.
Adam is now sharing his difficulties dealing with Larry the Israeli cabinet guy, he starts with what it was like calling the homes for his Hispanic employees and the “Who!?” reactions from the women who inevitably answer the phone.
BB has a killer Israeli “Get ‘er Done!” and Adam is talking about how he has a shorthand with Larry and he can understand him, although oven was a tough one for him to get across the other day.
Adam is now playing both Adam and Larry with a recreation of what it’s like to call him, Adam is making a point about how he emphasizes the wrong syllables and let’s Adam dangle out there like a wind chime covered in seagull shit.
BB shares his own experience with these kinds of phone calls, he cites a call he has scheduled with a preschool for his daughter.
Adam is saying he needs someone to give him something when they pick up the phone, some acknowledgement.
Legal Zoom – 5 Things you need to count on when you run your business Edition
Adam is now playing a video from the latest race, showing a very interesting 20sec of footage of Adam’s car, Adam is now talking about the love tap that was shot at him while he was making a turn.
David Portnoy is joining them over the phone from NYC.
Adam is now asking for his various topics to breakdown.
1st Topic Beyoncé’s Lemonade
Adam makes a point about this generating more publicity and the nature of rap music, Adam is now sharing Mike August’s theory that Suge Knight ordered the hit on Tupac despite being behind the wheel of the car Tupac was in.
Adam is now riffing about the annals of calling hits and Adam riffs about Adrian Brody playing Suge in a biopic.
David is now sharing the theory behind the title of “Lemonade” and Adam is talking about famous marriages that ultimately become partnerships and less about romance.
Either way, cheated or not. Adam is done caring.
Adam jokes about Beyoncé’s dad resembling Cleveland from ‘Family Guy’ and he transitions to how and when people need to divorce citing his parents and their shared 900 square feet.
Adam says people in large spaces and with different schedules, who travel a lot needn’t get divorced, there is no proximity to breed contempt.
2nd Topic is on the Saudi Prince and his recent trek through NYC, Adam says he’s done with the Saudi family and he wants them to go away.
Adam is bringing up the redacted 28 pages from the 9/11 Commission report.
Adam is sharing his interesting conversation he had with Mike August while he was using his arm to reach over to another diner’s table at ’13 Coins’ in Seattle.
BB mocks Gina with a solid one liner as Adam talks about situational awareness and fostering certain attitudes in attractive women, allowing them to behave the way they stereotypically do.
Adam is going over the conversation about what a piece of crap Russia is and how we had to waste billions as a nation to keep up with them and their madness.
Mike August made a great point about natural resources and how they hobble a country/continent and he cites Japan as a counter point about resources and innovation.
Adam says that the natural resources retard a nation and he says once you stop wanting to bang hot women they have 0 life skills to fall back on and he makes the same point about OPEC nations.
Adam is making an argument for wind, solar, nuclear along with shale and everything else at our disposal.
Adam wraps up the segment.
Adam is saying he wants a fleet of Teslas and a bunch of Nuclear power plants to provide the electricity to keep them running.
Texture – Adam is convinced magazine weight are why they put massage chairs in the airport Edition
Adam is telling the gang about his final Loveline appearance for the finale later tonight and he brings up his phoner into Kevin and Bean where he riffed about Drew going on a racially based tirade leading to the show being cancelled.
Adam mocks Kevin and Bean’s reaction to his hilarious riff!
Q and Ace
1st Caller Cameron, he was watching Donald Trump’s victory speech last night and Adam jokes that Trump has victory speeches chambered for every event and activity, even taking a dump.
Cameron is bringing up Adam’s point about people underestimating Melania Trump’s intelligence as she is fluent in multiple languages and Adam explains his markers for intelligence in people.
Cameron asks if Adam could pick a 2nd language for his kids to know, Adam says if they are going to live in SoCal they must learn Spanish, Cameron’s wife is polis hand she cooks every night.
Cameron is making Adam jealous by describing the “double teaming” of meals she’s makes for him, BB is laying in a hilarious porn soundtrack as Adam makes hilarious satisfaction noises and talks in a sex voice about krout based dishes.
Adam asks why Los Angeles must have 100 to 1 Thai and Indian restaurants vs. Polish restaurants. BB shares his theory about assimilation being to blame and Adam tells them about Laszlo’s Cuisine Hortobagy a now defunct local spot he used to take Dave Dameshek that he discovered via his late grandfather Lotzi.
Adam attempts to explains the meaning of “Hortobagy” to Gina and BB, Adam says the restaurant was shut down only to make way for yet another Indian restaurant.
Cameron offers to bring him some nice Polish food when they fly out for the next live show, Gina is reading an entry from the Urban Dictionary and he jokes about everything on the site except for his created words being kind of bogus, BB blames the user submitted nature of the site.
2nd Caller Jacob, he’s calling from Missouri, he missed the St. Louis show and explains he is a DJ while he’s living in Missouri.
Jacob wants to know how Adam feels about people celebrating a teenager taking her child to prom with her, Adam is sharing his feelings about this, he says there is a difference between accepting and celebrating and this is what the left/HuffPo mixes up.
Adam is now saying people don’t need a standing ovation for wanting a 3rd bathroom, BB asks Gina about Dr. Drew’s work on shows like ‘Teen Mom’ and they joke about him usually being reputable aside from his involvement in that series.
Adam says people aren’t supposed to get behind being baked all day, you’re not pioneers you are stoners.
Adam has a drinking in the morning example of how he could put his beer in a paper cup to avoid displaying to his neighbors that he was drinking in the day time while walking in the neighborhood.
Adam is now bringing up Jimmy Kimmel’s time as a DJ and the modern era of using a laptop to play your entire collection of music.
Adam laments the song ‘Mony Mony’ being played at wedding and events, then he jokes about playing ‘Only women Bleed’ during the father/daughter dance.
Adam is sharing the story of how he walked in to witness kids dancing ballet in a room adjacent to the gym where Sonny was playing his basketball game, they were playing a weird up tempo “kiddy” version of ‘Barbie Girl’ by ‘Aqua’ and Adam says it wasn’t the original version.
Adam was like “wow lady, you’re not going to rest until these guys are at the Abbey” and Adam admits he likes the original song, he’s not proud of it as he confesses to Dawson.
Adam is allowing BB to grandfather ‘Barbie Girl’ into the classification of “Tool Tune” and they further talk about the song before moving on to a live read.
Stamps.com – 2.6 Billion in postage printed last year alone Edition
They head to break
They’re back from break
They play a new listener voicemail about the new clean shows schedule for 2 days per week.
Adam welcomes Doug Laux to the show to make his ACS debut, Adam asks him about his experience in the CIA.
Adam wants to know about the vetting process, he shares how a recruiter came to his school and Adam asks about the background concerns and wants to know what you can and cannot get by with.
If you smoked marijuana it was a 9-year stand-down for applying to the CIA, lame.
Adam asks about the vetting hurdles, he explains they were interviewing people in his small town and how that led to questions from said people concerned about the nature of the interviews.
Adam asks Doug about how he wanted to go where the action was and he asks when he saw his first terrorist, Doug tells them about learning a new language before heading to southern Afghanistan.
Adam jokes about going into a place that sells fertilizer with that accent to just fuck with the people working there.
Adam is further asking him about his job requirements and experience in country, he says it was January 2010 when he first begun working out of a black site to prevent the flow of IED’s into Afghanistan.
Adam is asking him about IED’s and where the bombs were coming from, Doug tells them about “The Wolverine Network” who was providing the Taliban with materials, which turns out was run by a Japanese guy.
Adam says he wants the person who provided the materials, the Japanese business man to be taken out and Doug informs Adam that happened but won’t confirm if it was a CIA drone or not.
Adam is asking about the componentry and if the Japanese guy was making them, Doug won’t state which countries were providing the raw materials, but Adam probably guesses correctly with Russia and China, Doug does not confirm nor deny.
Adam says this guy was selling “full turn key bomb kits” and manufacturing them right under the CIA’s nose.
Doug says he was using another country we are not at war with to funnel his cash, must be Pakistan.
Adam asks how long it takes to take this guy out once he’s identified, or do they prefer to try and speak with him and Doug says affirmative it is human intelligence.
Doug says the millionaire was released about a month after being captured, by the country he will not name.
Adam was watching ‘Real Time with Bill Maher’ about the so-called Saudi allies, Adam wants to know if we must be “besties” with them and drop off cash 24/7.
Adam shares his theory on the nations of the middle east, either they will actively try and kill us or they will tacitly sit by and watch it happen, perhaps rooting for it.
Doug says the lack of a voice from the middle east showing outrage about the terrorism perpetrated in the name of their faith is a real problem.
Adam is now making a point about the double standard of Piss Christ vs. simply drawing Muhammed, Adam mocks the “threats” excuse people use about Piss Christ, nothing ever happened nor was it going to.
Doug shares his feelings about Bowe Bergdahl and he now has changed his mind after hearing the podcast about his experiences in Afghanistan, being whipped with cables for 4 years, he now feels like Bowe has served his time and has been punished enough.
Onnit – Good healthy energy, don’t be a puss, just give it a squirt of the MCT oil Edition
Doug is now breaking down the religious and intelligence level of the people of Afghanistan, he breaks down the difference in concerns and how territory plays a larger role than faith in many instances.
Adam is now asking why we wolverine was released, Doug left the redacted info in his book so people could read between the lines.
Adam is giving his feelings about extradition and how this country should just show up and take people back, if they don’t like it “go fuck yourself” and he jokes about them keeping immigrants from us who sell flowers on Forrest Lawn Drive.
Adam is now sharing his feelings about kidnapping Roman Polanski and Doug tells Adam he’s talking about extraordinary rendition and about a current CIA officer who is facing the possibility of being extradited to Italy.
Doug says he’s probably shot himself in the foot in terms of ever returning to the middle east again, Adam is now saying that most of the “backwards countries” who are doing the worst have the most pride, much like the misplaced pride of the worst people in our own society.
Doug is breaking down the outside influences that affect the CIA and their decisions, Doug shares how he can be told “no” without explanation despite his success or progress.
Doug is now sharing his opinions on Bowe Bergdahl and Edward Snowden, he shares how they both thought they would be heroes due to a childish understanding of the world.
Uber – They got the smartphone app, Matt has been driving with them for over a year now Edition
BB brings up ‘Zero Dark Thirty’ as Doug mentioned it earlier in the show, Doug says it’s a highly authentic depiction and the case officer played by Jason Clarke.
Adam asks about the “Wolverine” and his release, Doug shares how upset he was by it and Adam is now sharing how most people like the story behind ‘Munich’ and he wants to know if that exists behind the scenes on our side.
Doug is telling them about the Dubai killings in 2006, he says we are above assassination as a country and he walkways wanted to grab and capture over kill suspects.
Adam is now asking him about torture and enhanced interrogation tactics.
Round Up – Don’t be waterboarded by weeds, someone tweeted Adam ginger hibiscus plum tea Edition
BB blares ‘Barbie Girl’ as Adam asks about the best way to develop and asset, get their confidence before you ever have to apprehend them or interrogate them.
Doug says he was never a party to enhanced interrogation, Doug does not believe we should bring it back and says it exasperated the heartburn in the middle east and make our enemies angrier.
Doug says the best way to get information after apprehending someone, he explains how the military employs a variety of techniques for each individual and do nothing but crack suspects.
Doug has some info about KSM and his legendary resistance to water boarding, Adam is summing up what Doug is telling them.
Doug brings up Jim Mitchell who claims to have created all of the enhanced interrogation techniques.
Adam asks him about what he thinks might be in the redacted 28 pagers in the 9/11 commission report, he says it’s going to have as much ramification as the senate torture report.
Adam makes a point about the crime vs. the cover up and he asks what he expects for the middle east in 25 years as we grow less dependent on fossil fuels.
Doug says there may not be a monarchy any longer in 25 years, he says he has no love lost for Saudi Arabia nor the middle east and he gives an extreme example of them whipping women for batting their eyelashes at men.
Adam talks about America looking the other way on human rights issues when we need something from another country.
Doug has a solid point about us overlooking these atrocities, Gina asks him about writing this book and Doug takes pride in just revealing to his parents that he was working for the CIA the past decade.
He says his friends are huge fans in DC listening to this and learning he worked for the CIA for the first time.
Adam is now riffing as Doug’s dad presuming he was coming out the closet instead of telling him about his CIA career, BB jumps in for the wonderful reenactment, hilarious!
Adam gives out the plugs and closes the show, BB plays a drop of Gina reading the Urban Dictionary definition of “Hortobagy.”