22 Jul Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 04-26-2016 – Joel McHale and 107.7 The End’s Gregr and Manley, Live from The Moore Theatre in Seattle #1808
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Joel McHale and 107.7 The End’s Gregr and Manley, Live from The Moore Theatre in Seattle
Recorded 04-23-2016 – Release Date 04-26-2016
Production Number #1808
Adam is opening the show with some live reads and plugs.
The Live show from Seattle begins with an excited crowd happy to see Adam, Adam welcomes Gregr and Manley to the show and riffs about the Joel McHale robot breaking down and causing a fire as Joel is in Milwaukee.
Adam is now describing his hotel room with a balcony overlooking the bay and he was prevented from opening it due to a wooden stick blocking it from opening.
There was a “no smoking on balcony” sign that Adam found to be ludicrous, you can’t even smoke over the sea.
Adam says what happened to smokers is like what’s happened to the Jews in WWII, Adam is now telling the Jewish people to get in the face of black people for stealing their ghettos, Gina accepts the advice and Adam is continuing this premise with how Smokers gave in and eventually ended up with today’s no smoking world.
Adam is now riffing about smoker’s poles that require people to raise themselves above street level to smoke, that will be the next requirement.
Adam is further riffing about sliding doors and their locking mechanisms that frustrate him so, Adam is joking about guys 200 years from now in Silver jumpsuits cussing and banging away on malfunctioning spaceship style aperture doors, comedy gold!
“hit your cleats with a toilet paper roll” – Adam on the step away process when trying to use a public bathroom sink so the sensor will reset and you can get more water.
Adam says the water is given in light bursts, they joke about the process of stepping back and resetting and Adam has a great baseball ritual analogy.
Adam asks about water and realizes he’s in Seattle, Adam is now talking about how they shame celebrities for the money they spent on water consumption for having the temerity to keep her foliage hydrated.
Adam jokes about formerly being on The End 107.7 and Gregr stealing his job, funny “fuck my wife” closer.
Adam is now describing the rough 06:00 a.m. shift and has a “you get all the spent tampons you want” joke while contrasting that shift to a shitty job where people try and flatter you or make you feel excited about working in sewage.
Adam is on the “I’d kill myself” reaction people have to the 6:00 A.M. shift.
What Can’t Adam Complain About
1st WCACA Dawn Johnson, Gina asks if he’s there in attendance and Dawson asks if Adam can complain about pierced nipples.
Adam says he doesn’t like it sexually and gets to his fake birthmark condom idea for cheating on the road, hilarious “I’ve been staring at his cock for years, there isn’t enough room on there…” and he says he also sports a retainer while on the road to go one step further than just the condom and that could get stuck on the pierced nipples.
Adam tells women to improve their FICO scores instead of worrying about making their titties prettier.
“you can’t make titties anymore attractive to me” – Adam
Adam says he has to picture people getting whatever they got done to them done when he sees them, so he would have to picture the whole process, hilarious graphic detail riffing and analogies.
Adam is now going off on aggressive genital piercings and how much he doesn’t care for them, saying he spend most of his day worried about protecting his dick, hilarious one liner from Gregr and or Manley.
Adam says the guy with the pierced dick has removed himself from the possibility of anal sex, the beckoning siren song of the anus, anus on the shoulder etc.
2nd WCACA Amy Smith from Kirkland Washington and Adam jokes about Jimmy Kimmel loving it as it’s the home of Costco and says he went there with him, this must have been back in 1995 of 1996?
Adam is asking Mike August about Jimmy Kimmel twice gracing the cover of Costco magazine, Adam is now sharing how he had to explain to Jimmy that 3 trips per week to Costco nullifies the reason for buying in bulk.
Adam says he used to go with Jimmy all the time, they went together and Jimmy was a purist when it came to Costco, he was the guy who was at Coachella the first year rocking out to Silverchair on the small/3rd stage.
Adam says he thinks his marriage wasn’t going well at the time and Adam says it was insane for him as he was able to afford all of the fancy tools at Costco he could now afford.
Adam says his wife did pay 13k for the casket for her late father, Adam is telling them about admiring the sweet casket with the nice dovetail joint and Gregr asks if Adam would have preferred to have bought it himself, Adam says his wife did the 1300 bluff before coming out with the actual total of 13k.
Amy wants to know how Adam can complain about her serving Mangria at her wedding, Adam says she’s going to get a lot of horrible comments from wedding guests.
Adam has a killer “Amy I thought you said you were going to slim down for the wedding” line and he says Mangria is like you roofied yourself, unlike Tequila that makes you look drunk.
Adam brings up Nick Santora’s “Taste’s like College” quote and Adam is now teasing the arrival of Joel McHale and Adam jokes about smoking in Connecticut vs. Seattle Washington.
Early News time!
1st Story is on the Resolution that declares Porn as a public health hazard in Utah, Gina has the details and Adam says you never pass this legislation as it will only lead to your weird perversions or kinks being outed and Adam says never say “it’s not the size of the boat, it’s the motion in the ocean” as you’re advertising your small cock.
Adam asks if it doesn’t take the wind out of the rape sail to have available pornography, Adam is going over how much of society benefits from dudes not being jack deprived, Adam says when he’s jack deprived everyone starts out on his last nerve.
Adam is talking about his first Kirkland Shows and he is forgetting only my presence, it was the best of times!
Adam is saying he can’t watch porn on the road anymore and he says he was in San Jose and mocks their car museum that was more of an indoor parking lot.
Adam tried to jackoff to his iPad and caught a glimpse of himself and a grey pube, losing all of his steam to abuse himself.
Adam says it would be worth it for a gang banger to come in and rape you to not have to deal with the wooden dowel in the window sill.
Gregr asks Adam about the Kirkland Shows after polling the audience, Adam says he was doing 3 per night and he earlier mistakenly said it was former Round Table, it was a Godfather Pizza, I told him that!
Adam explains how busy his schedule was back then and he credits the fans for their ability to book The Moore instead.
2nd Story Is on the Pizza Pipe and she gives all of the details, Adam is saying perhaps we’ve jumped the shark as a society in light of this existing and BB asks if one should really be lighting cardboard on fire.
Adam is bringing up the bizarre deals presented in pizza commercials and jokes about it being too much hassle to reach for the weed pipe, instead preferring to construct one out of the pizza box.
Adam says they are looking at the guy who used to sell the Encyclopedia Britannica, Adam jokes about giving that kid an awful of ball bearing cock and asks how one gets through TSA with penis piercings.
BB has a funny “3 small peas” line and Adam has a couple as well, talking about “ball bearing cock” with some shotgun sound effects.
3rd Story is on Viacom launching networks in the middle east, including ‘Catch a Contractor’ and Adam riffs about his Arab fans wanting to know why they don’t cut the contractors hands off.
Adam has some killer accent work and he brings up the time he was selling his truck in the recycler and heard from the Arabic gentlemen claiming to be buying it for his daughter but he gets derailed and goes on a different tangent about the pickup.
Adam is now riffing about the standard bed pickup being horrible for date night, Adam is joking about his shitty truck and how much of an aphrodisiac it was for women.
Adam says he would forget about the fuel cutoff switch and mentions the two times he found his stole truck because of it.
Adam has a “no excuses in the bedroom” line he delivered to Bear Grylls when he was last guesting on Jimmy Kimmel Live but they edited it out, hilarious riff!
Adam is back to his stolen truck and the time he was pulled over and the cops were impressed with his ingenuity before they had to clear out as they hadn’t punched any black guys in 20min.
Adam is recommending Griffith Park for people to bring tourists to, he describes the scene of 4-year old’s eating churros riding donkeys for fun.
Adam mentions the fountain and the money we throw into it, hilarious “we get angry at it” and he’s joking about unionized donkeys with Gregr and Manley.
4th Story is on Donald Trump’s reaction to the proposed Harriet Tubman denomination of US Currency.
Adam thinks she should be put in for a new bit of currency, he suggests a $40 bill for Harriet, he thinks you should get to keep your original denomination.
Adam says every stripper in the world should be arguing for this new 40, Gina has some details on Andrew Jackson and his dark past.
Adam says you would be an idiot to not have slaves when it was common, you’d be wasting money and he says even just having one to “ride on” and then is forced to walk it back after everyone reacts as they should, hilarious!
Adam says the time he went to his dad’s childhood home in Philadelphia with Mike August was the only 10min he wasn’t angry with him.
Adam says that his family never owned shit and in the future everything will be unkind to all of us just as it looks for someone like Jackson.
Adam has a killer “did you hear about Adam Carolla, he isn’t transgendered” riff, one of the guests tries to work slave riding back into it but Adam is trying to make a different point, “he was just a dude, so he fucked his wife? With his dick?”
Today’s men are tomorrow’s cock and ball owners.
5th Story is on a McDonalds that will be testing out “All You Can Eat” French fries and he asks if fast food isn’t already all you can eat ostensibly and mentions his son’s recent order of 6 tacos from Taco Bell.
Adam says you have to tap out after eating $9 worth of food, Adam is sharing the fudge and cream stuffed churros he witnessed while at the zoo with his son.
The Bucket of Root Beet for Sonny story.
6th Story is on the bill to prevent airlines from further eroding seat size and other currently free parts of the travel experience they might one-day attempt to mutagenize.
Adam is now riffing about the battle between fast food and airlines, the seat keeps getting smaller while the people keep getting bigger.
Adam is now sharing the story of the time he saw someone order a seatbelt extender “while the flight attendant was already up” the casual attempt to avoid humiliation.
7th Story is on a study that reveals Millennials support new variants of marriage that allow for dissolution after so much time and Adam says we’re now in a stage of existence where we don’t want to do anything that doesn’t sound like fun.
Either Gregr or Manley have a funny reaction to Adam talking about Sonny sucking the crème out of a churro.
Adam says we need a real war, a real contender and Joel McHale is now joining them live on stage, he’s steering the robot and Adam has a killer Ann-Margaret reference.
Adam asks Joel how his show went and he says the audience is still clapping, he jokes about this being like what’s going to happen to him once he paralyzes himself.
Joel plugs Mangria and Adam ask him about shooting ‘The X-Files’ and Joel mocks him a bit, Adam says he was walked through Joel’s house the day ‘The Soup’ was canceled and Adam lets him wrap things up.
Joel tries to have the robot commit suicide to close out the show, it sounds a bit chaotic and BB has a funny quip.
Adam loves fluid, he loves it in a crank case and talks to the dude with the beard who changes his own oil and probably uses it as a dipstick.
Adam gives out the plugs and wraps up the show, hilarious episode!