Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 03/25/2016 – Vinnie Tortorich

Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 03/25/2016 – Vinnie Tortorich

A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS

Guest Vinnie Tortorich

Recorded 03-24-2016 – Release Date 03-25-2016

Production Number #1786

Show Page

Adam opens the show with a “he can’t go for that” intro and Adam teases the phoner from Lennox Lewis, Adam is explaining how Lennox is considered the first of the super heavy weight fighters in boxing.

Adam is going on about his frame and compares him to Rocky Marciano and his heavyweight era, Gina has the stats and BB plays the “Chillax Dude I’m smoking a doobie” #TopDrop from yesterday’s show.

Adam is talking about Lennox’s retirement and how he never came back to the sport nor fought professionally again.


Adam is talking about the measuring stick for a career, porn or boxing, there is a reason why that person is there and they need money.

Adam is marveling at Lennox Lewis age, Gary is giving him some bad info and tells him the stats about Rocky Marciano and his age of 32 at retirement.

Adam is sharing the “killed because he was cheap” reason for Marciano’s death, Adam tells them about him dying in a plane crash while heading to collect on a debt.


Adam is doing a Castrol Live Read

Operating temperatures edition


Gary has the details on Rocky Marciano’s death and Adam plugs their upcoming live shows.


Q and Ace

1st Caller Mike from Austria, he tells them about the magical summer of 1984 and waxes poetic about the free food from McDonalds for the Olympics.

Adam is talking about his kids never knowing the rush of free food, BB tells them about the time he was given all of the remaining food from a McDonalds as he pulled up when they were closing.

Adam talks about volunteering to be the guy who dumped the bad food when he worked at McDonalds and he comments on the sweet spot of time you’re trying to reach and not exceed, much like jacking off a fertility clinic.


Adam says when it comes to the clinic or the dumpster, that’s Adam in prison and he will be floating in the middle, you won’t even know he’s there.

Adam is back to his dumpster face stuffing of McDonalds Fish Fillet sandwiches and they are now talking about bathrooms and Gina tells them about the lack of lavatories at Yoga Studios.

Adam brings up Wolfgang Puck and his interesting upbringing, Mike tells them about Arnold Schwarzenegger and his true American success story and Adam comments on is work ethic.


Adam tells Mike to shut up and then takes it back to him asking him about his profession.

Gina has him explains what a TIG welder is, he tells them he works for Bosch.

Adam is getting trolled by Mike who is bragging about his access to the autobahn and asks Adam what good his car’s extra hp is when he must drive 55-65 on American freeways.


Adam says he can’t figure out why we can’t have a discretion based speed limit, the conditions should be a 2-way street.

As you need to slowdown when it’s hailing even though the speed limit is 65mph, why not speed up in optimal conditions.

Adam asks about common sense and explains why he moved to a “normal” neighborhood.


Adam goes over the pleasant meeting with Department of Building and Safety and how easy it is compared to living in Hollywood and dealing with their city officials.

Adam says that L.A. City would be raping him with a mop handle, while kicking his dog and raiding his daughter’s panty drawer.

Adam says that L.A. has lost its way when it comes to correction and the people in his new neighborhood aren’t being nice, they’re just being normal.


Gina has the breaking new regarding Gary Shandling’s death, Adam, says he only met him one time.

BB asks if he was on the show, he was never on this show, the radio show nor Loveline.

Adam talks about Gary’s reclusive lifestyle and he comments on guys like him and David Letterman, Gina brings up his latest look as promoted by Gary, saying he looks like Santa.


2nd Caller Jason, he wants Adam’s take on the latest PSA for secondhand smoke and pets, Adam jokes about having his dog Philly Cheesesteak (Phil E. Cheesesteak) dipping chew already.

Adam is now mocking these stats and brings up the human death stats regarding secondhand smoke and quotes Drew saying it doesn’t exist.

Adam is now asking about the Marlboro man’s horse, all the guy did was light cigarettes and go around in a circle, but the horst is probably fine.


Adam is talking about how he would react if he were an alien who viewed these PSA’s and what he would be left to believe.

Adam has a nice Dave Dameshek “to what end” quote and Adam is going on about the weird “80% of your brain is developed in the first ____ months of life” PSA and messages.

Adam talks about a movement to get Dora the Explorer and Caillou off the air, they’re content is so lacking they actually make you dumber.


Adam recommends Baby Einstein and SpongeBob SquarePants.

Adam brings up ‘Wow! Wow! Wubbzy!’ and their horrible “You’re the coolest” theme song.

Adam says even though their bank account may be swollen their brains are shriveled, if you make content for kids you’re qualified to only entertain those without two brain cells to rub together.


Adam offers to put up a 10k challenge for these guys, if they can write one Family Guy or Modern Family script on spec that would even be considered by the production company he will give them 10k.

They are now listening to the insane theme song from ‘Wow! Wow! Wubbzy!’


BB comments on the broken message and Gina weighs in too, Adam says that not doing anything will not get you the kind of recognition you’re seeking.

Adam asks how everyone can be the coolest and Gary says they don’t have Lennox on the line.


3rd Caller Cornelius, Adam wants to hear the Cornelius brothers and their sister rose to cleanse his palate.

Cornelius asks if Adam was ever screwed over by a customer while working as a contractor, he says he did and hopes the woman is dead and in hell now.

Adam is talking about the neighborhood and how the woman reminded him of the Gym Coach from a 1980’s sex comedy.


Adam says she was like the female gym teacher from ‘Porky’s’ and he comments on how he spackled over some nail holes and then had to pay for her crown molding out of his own pocket.

Adam shares his bad business acumen and how willing he was to let other’s rollover him, he explains how he had fronted 400$ in supplied and he even wrote her a nice letter trying to get her to get him to reimburse him for her crown molding, what a horrible woman.

Adam is now in a better mood as he listens to this song from back in the day when people used to listen to what their momma said.


They are enjoying some ‘Too Late to Turn Back Now’ and Adam is sharing his love for the close of the song with a bygone style not used in today’s pop music.

Adam says he loves that song and Adam says sums it up that he was screwed over by a witch who was rich and that he told her he was so poor and she still didn’t care nor budge.

Gina asks if the movie was ‘Private School’ from 1983, Adam comments on those titty movies from the early and mid-1980’s and they head to break.


They’re back from break with Vinnie Tortorich returning to the show and a funny riff from Adam and BB mocking the great moment in local news talking about the fear instilled by chalk.


Adam is doing a Best DSI Live Read

Bet on the candidate you hate to win to take the sting out it if they get elected edition


Vinnie is telling them about his overwhelming amounts of tweets about what is good and bad to eat with a No Sugar, No Grain diet.

Adam is talking about the kind bars and that even worse bars now replacing the terrible for you bars his family was hooked on, Adam is asking about the variety of bars they are buying and stocking up on now.

Adam is sharing how he ate a beef patty from his son’s double double as dinner the other night, Adam has been sticking to the no rice, no grain and no beer and has seen the weight come off.


Vinnie is commenting on Adam’s goal to trim down for the upcoming race and his own reaction to learning Adam was dieting for this race and how committed he is to assist Adam with this.

Adam says he’s already given them all of the advice he needs and he talks about the internal battle that must rage after he gets informed and how when you’re on a roll it’s then hard to slide back and mess up, you want to preserve your weight loss.

Gina asks about women and weight loss in comparison to men and Vinnie asks for a Rudy clap for Gina and comments on her weight loss.


Gina describes her inner tube around her waist that she wants to go away and Vinnie is commenting on the people in the Facebook group who have lost huge amounts since his first appearance on the ADS a matter of months ago.

BB asks about eating while on the road, healthy food options he can recommend.

Vinnie swears by nuts, cheese and hard boiled eggs.


Adam is sharing his struggle to order a dish without the fires or side dish and the resistance to serve him less.

Vinnie says that you can substitute in a salad in place of fries, he explains the way that waiters cannot do math and understand charging you for items you don’t want.

Adam is mocking the way adult waiters must ask their manager about swapping food items.


Vinnie explains the real world economics and how often times people serving you can’t comprehend not living paycheck to paycheck and having the extra funds available to get a side of broccoli with an up charge.

Vinnie recommends lying about a gluten allergy to get out of wheat and he explains how Louisiana forces sweet tea upon you.


Fit or Bullshit

1st FOB Yoga will lengthen or strengthen your muscles?

Vinnie goes on about Yoga and says it’s almost akin to getting a massage and Adam comments on sweating and the notion of “losing or flushing toxins” and Vinnie almost goes off on these nonexistent toxins.

Vinnie is commenting on Saunas and Bikram Yoga; Vinnie admits he even tried yoga in his quest to get laid.


2nd FOB little meals throughout the day or intermittent fasting and low carb choices.

Adam is mocking the several small meals per day logic and 1 gallon of water per day rule of thumb.

Vinnie talks about the early 90’s and the dark days of fitness and he explains how he would try and remedy the crazy thought patterns in stilled in his celebrity clients.

Adam says weight loss and exercise is the last bastion of crazy primate superstitious native thinking we all have in us.


Vinnie is trying to recall who coined the term aerobics and explains that most fitness trainers are on a quest to get rich, you just need a handful of chicks with patchouli oil pushing your bullshit and you got a career.

Gina talks about the notion of eating fat not making you fat and Vinnie offers to provide her some reading materials.

Adam is riffing about the movie ‘Perfect’ and how 80’s it is.


3rd FOB which sweetener will prevent weight gain, honey, agave, cane sugar or are they all the same?

Adam talks about his mother and her chartered of white sugar due to her self prejudice and dislike for white people, Adam describes his mom’s world of ‘Roots’ and ‘Billy Jack’ and how his mom was ok with an ingot of carob as long as it wasn’t made in Pennsylvania by white people.

They wrap up the bit and Adam talks about following Vinnie’s advice and Gina shares how her eating “caught up with her” and she explains she was skinny her whole life and then started gaining weight.

Adam is explaining how maintaining control and keeping domination over yourself is the most important part of dieting and weight loss.


Vinnie talks about fatty liver disease and how high fructose corn syrup harms people, even thin people.

Vinnie talks about the reality of cortisol and insulin on the human body and how that’s what is killing people.


Gina’s News

1st Story is on the death of Gary Shandling, Gina has the grim details of Gary’s final 9/11 call and Adam comments on meeting him a couple times and says he was a strange, odd, quirky guy and he jokes about Bill Cosby preferring to go out this way.

Adam says that Gary has the untouched legacy, he was the Rocky Marciano of comedy and the “Prince” as in the artist, of comedy, he didn’t show up everywhere and didn’t perform as much as most people but he was still ubiquitous.

Adam is now riffing about Bill Kirchenbauer and his sitcom ‘Just The 10 of Us’ and his old bit with a turtle neck and his bald head, impersonating deodorant.


Adam is now riffing about the deodorant gels and brings up ‘Make Me Laugh’ the old game show that Vinnie brought up where he first discovered Gary’s work.

Adam is now joking about the celebrity editions of the show and cites Dick Sergeant, he brings up Largo and alternative comedy and riffs an alt comedy variant of ‘Make Me Laugh’ and mentions the show ‘Girls.’


2nd Story is on the “Subway Hero” viral video from the Los Angeles Expo Line, Adam jokes about the California subway confusing him, he says that he thought they were ads for bad sandwich places.

Gina has the video of the confrontation and chokehold maneuver.

Adam comments on the black guy shouting about world star hip hop.


Vinnie comments on the trouble maker being more ripped than the trainer who subdued him.


Adam is doing a Live Read

Gary’s girlfriend uses it edition


3rd Story is on the two women arrested outside of a Bernie Sanders rally, Gina has the details of the arrest and the exposed boobs.

Adam talks about being a hot chick and how he would act if he was one, he shares his “the hottest chick in the room is the biggest celebrity” theory and explains how women can use their bare breasts to take all of the attention in the room.

Adam says it would be weird to sit on that and he jokes about having BB get his balls out to then rub them together, the dude version of two chicks making out at a party for male attention. There seems to be an edit right here, odd…


BB has a funny cutaway gag of two fat dudes at the party angry about rejection asking why they like the dude’s rubbings ball sacks together.

Adam is talking about riding a float in Mardi Gras parade, when they filled in for Tommy Lasorda, BB doesn’t recall the story and Adam says he remembers it was a pirate themed float, very middle of the road.

Adam comments on the kids on A frame ladders asking for beads and how he was perplexed that people let their kids do that.


Adam is mocking the value and use of beads, Vinnie is telling them about his last trip to Mardi Gras and how a woman flashed him but insisted he suck on her titties.

Vinnie explains this woman’s husband filmed him sucking her tits and Adam comments on how Vinnie and Drew are both really into sex, they are passionate men…


4th Story is on the Jet Blue flight attendant busted for smuggling cocaine at LAX, Gina has all of the details and Adam shares how he would have done this had someone offered it to him when he was young and poor.

Adam is now explaining how easy it must have seemed for her, he doesn’t judge people this way and explains why.

Gina talks about ‘Locked Up Abroad’ and Adam jokes about getting locked up with your friend tammy, Adam is back to rubbing his sack against BB’s and BB says this is way more trouble than just butt fucking, hilarious!

They wrap the news


Adam is doing a Round Up Live Read

Jimmy sniffing a coffee can of farts and Adam’s goofy friend Rudy and Chris broke their bottles of Mescal Tequila they exited Tijuana edition


Adam is back to the flight attendant who was busted for smuggling cocaine and Adam says he would go for the runner up from a beauty pageant, not the winner.

The runner up is equally as hot, but she has a dented self-esteem, eroded by losing, let’s get busy with oral says Ace.

Adam wraps up the show with Vinnie and gives out some plugs.