28 Mar Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 03/23/2015 – Ari Shaffir
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Ari Shaffir
Recorded 03-22-2015 – Release Date 03-23-2015
Production Number #1536
Adam opens the show with the standard “Get It On” mandate, he thanks the fans for bringing the newly converted fan to the live events, BB has a decent #TopDrop and Adam says Hello to Gina and BB.
Adam is talking about the time he would like to have back, he says he did a radio press tour on Friday morning and talks about the two things that are back breaking about these sessions.
Adam talks about the 20min break between the first and 2nd interview, he wishes the break was anytime else in the lineup, not after the first interview.
Adam is talking about how he knows nobody who interviews him saw his movie unlike Jay Leno or Kimmel who go out of their way to be familiar with a guest’s project.
Adam tells them about watching the movie ‘Champs’ and buying his own copy despite the production company not sending him a screener, some fans would argue Adam doesn’t always prepare for a guest like he did for Evander and Bert.
Adam talks about Robert Reese, he was the first guy who saw the movie and Adam describes how different that conversation was, he comments on speaking with Art, the coordinator of this press tour.
Adam is mocking Art’s definition of “good news” and the smallest market being the one guy who saw the movie, Adam is citing another Keith Brooks who also saw the movie before the phoner interview.
Adam is commenting on how it always sure as fuck seems like Howard has read your book whether he has or not, he and his staff are so on top of their shit they make you feel supported and engaged.
Adam is discussing possible scheduling difficulties for these radio hosts, Adam mocks their 4hr work day compared to his insane schedule.
Gina offers up a possible excuse, using her radio expertise and Adam explains this has been on the calendar for a while, so it’s unlikely this interview was sprung on them at the last minute.
Adam is bringing up the bullshit way articles are written and is citing a Hollywood Reporter article about someone suing ‘Catch a Contractor’ really? Adam is mocking the THR for getting his basic info wrong, claiming that his co-host Alison Bedell was his wife.
Adam is doing a Blinds Galore Live Read
Adam is talking about his dog Molly’s cancerous tumor that he won’t photograph as you will not be able to keep your dinner down, he’s describing the undulating tumor.
BB plays the played out “I just threw up in my mouth” drop of Reese Witherspoon.
Adam is telling them about his clear storage box he used to collect stuff he wants to keep, he’s telling them about the contents and how his wife went through his box and sorted out the ones that aren’t important to her.
Adam describes his shirt from the Hammer now with the sleeves cutoff and worn by his dog, Adam explains that his wife will never understand the sentimental value of his stuff as she didn’t have the same connection.
Adam is mocking the “She’s 11” proclamation about his dog who is coming up on her 13th birthday, Adam says half of his wife’s day is wrapped up in this dog, just getting her to eat.
Q and Ace
1st Caller Shannon, she saw Road Hard while at work, she wants to know how Adam ranks cruise ships and performing on them, he explains he’s only been on a single cruise, his 1997 Christmas cruise with Jimmy, Lynette and Jimmy’s ex-wife.
Adam is citing his old buddy Philip the Juggler and how he played on cruise ships, he says he would speak to Philip out touring with Andy Williams, making 8k a week while Adam was still working construction.
Adam is now breaking down the way Philip described working on a cruise ship and how luxurious it sounded to him, Gina asks if they ever considered a “Man-Ship” cruise with Jimmy, Adam says that it was too late for that using a funny turn of phrase.
2nd Caller Shawn, he’s calling about ACS #1534 with Matt Atchity, Shawn says he thinks Adam skated over some of the things Matt was trying to say.
Shawn suggests that the movie “missed its mark” and Adam is now defending his film and explaining that it’s a comedy, comedy first.
Adam isn’t sure what people are expecting out of their comedies, Gina says the movie had a couple of tears too and Adam says that’s all extra on the comedy platter.
Adam says we read too much into movies, in general.
Shawn is now arguing that watching it with fans and how they must be biased, that’s his implication.
Adam is commenting on the “ride along” viewers who enjoy the movie more than hardcore fans, Adam is now asking Shawn what the standard is that we’re looking for.
Shawn says that Matt was holding back and values their “friendship” and now Adam is making a point about the political motivations to trash his film from certain papers.
Adam is saying he thinks his movie is a good movie, not great and it achieved what it set out to do.
BB is arguing that ‘road Hard’ is right up there with ‘Billy Madison’ and Shawn claims his gf didn’t enjoy the film, she loved the romantic subplot but disliked DAG and Phil.
Shawn tells them his gf is Samoan and Adam riffs about that being his prime demo, Adam is now arguing against the “but” people add to their review after laughing and crying for 84min.
3rd Caller Preston, he says he wrote Matt and Gary a while back and is struggling to get out the reason he’s been moving around a lot.
He tells them about killing another motorist while driving drunk, holy shit.
Adam is getting the details and asking him about his history with booze, Adam puts him on hold and is now explaining that they got his email and he told them he might be coming to a live show if this legal stuff didn’t keep him in town.
Adam is explaining how he immediately wonders the age of the dead person and how someone in their 20s vs. someone over 80 elicits a different reaction from him.
Adam asks Preston if he came out on Saturday, Adam asks him what this looks like for his future, he says he has a number of years in prison coming up.
Adam is saying that if Preston was the son of a famous person he might escape this punishment, he tells them about the 2-4 years of prison he has coming up, Adam says that’s not a range, it’s a lifetime and jokes about the lifespan of a Rhino.
Adam is mocking the people who suggest him selling the Newman documentary without giving him a solid figure/estimate for the amount, saying his son could come up with such a vague figure as he’s been quoted.
Preston is in fear of the lack of ability to survive and grow while in prison, Adam is suggesting he watch the documentary ‘Champs’ and use Bernard Hopkins as inspiration.
Adam tells Preston to try and avoid finding god, a specific god.
Adam is asking Preston about his parents and the family of the deceased, he says they made it abundantly clear they would rather not ever encounter him.
Adam is commenting on the time his dad took him to see ‘Papillion’ in theaters, Adam was 9yrs old and the movie was rated ‘PG’ at the time but is not considered a medium ‘R’ with some disturbing prison rape implications.
Adam commends Dustin Hoffman and his performance, saying he was robbed for not getting nominated that year, he commends his on screen aging without modern makeup and CG tools.
BB reads the Oscar nominees for that year.
Adam is doing a Draft Kings live read
4th Caller Michael is telling them about seeing ‘Cinderella’ and how every other person in the background was black despite the historical setting.
Adam is sharing how he gets distracted by the way things are cast “the way we wish society was” as opposed to reflecting reality.
Michael has a great point about 17th century France and the black population, BB plays a quote of Gina out of context.
Adam is commenting on the Mindy Kaling commercial where she is invisible and comments on the black guy getting a cab over her.
They’re now playing the commercial, Adam is addressing the racism of cab drivers and the lack of white/English speaking guys who drive a hack.
Adam says that Vegas is the last bastion of white cabbies, they go there to die.
Adam says that when you’re implying that it’s a white guy not picking up black passengers it’s inaccurate as it’s usually someone of Middle Eastern descent driving that cab and discriminating, don’t chalk it up to Americans/white people.
They head to break.
They’re back from break with a solid “Definitely Not a Jew” intro, Adam gives out Ari Shaffir’s plugs and welcomes him back to the show for his 2nd appearance, he was first on ACS #1036 from 2013.
Adam is bringing up the recent Howard Stern controversy with Ari, Ari calls him irrelevant and Adam disagrees, Adam doesn’t bring up the several times that Howard has ranted about him/against him over the years, dating all the way back to 1997 Loveline when Howard went after that show.
Adam is further defending Howard and says that he needs to have an opinion, hat being neutral isn’t as compelling, and Ari has a disgusted yet stereotypical reaction.
Ari is telling them about going to Thailand after his upcoming tour in Australia, Adam is asking him how it works and how they book you for this, Adam is trying to decipher this.
Adam brings up the time he was ‘Getting Doug with High’ and is now riffing about comedians who like comedy vs. guys who want to bang 20yr olds and never leave the house.
Adam is now bringing up Doug’s history of “lazy” ideas, Ari is commenting on how he’s dating women in their 20’s much like Doug was doing when Ari was coming up, hilarious riff about impressing young women with basic adult stuff like owning a car.
Adam is commenting on the fluidity of the sexuality in Thailand, Ari tells them about a buddy who got blown by a ladyboy, she did it for the love of the D, Yo!
Ari name drops his buddy and explains the guy has told the story on Ari’s excellent podcast ‘The Skeptic Tank’ and Adam is commenting about the “when in Rome” factor and jokes about Ari’s friend getting a “tune up blowjob.”
Ari is asking Adam if he’s ever had sex with a woman in a cab, never nor has Ari and they joke about Jimmy Kimmel’s voice clips playing in NYC cabs.
Adam is sharing how he would like to leave feedback for cab drivers, he’s commenting on the short driver who had his seat full reclined despite his diminutive stature.
Adam is now commenting on ladyboy sex, Ari says he’s not for it and Adam is bringing up the altered state Ari well certainly be in and Adam suggest he won’t know if it’s a boy or girl, Gina backs him up.
They’re now riffing about super chlamydia.
Adam is doing a Drop Stop live read
Ari is backing Adam up on the live read, nice work.
1st Story is on Suge Knight collapsing in court after his bail was set at 25 million, Gina plays the clip of him collapsing and Adam says that’s your worst nightmare, you want Rihanna to collapse not Suge, hilarious riffing from Ace.
Ari comments on celebrities being hit with reality, Adam is commenting on the hit and run and asks how Suge couldn’t stay out of trouble and enjoy his success.
BB is bringing up the documentary series ‘The Jinx’ and compares Robert Durst to OJ Simpson, asking if they have a need to expose themselves and get caught.
Adam is commenting on how it’s a switch and once the switch is thrown it doesn’t matter who is watching or how many cops are around.
Adam says you have to know there is a fucking security camera everywhere, Adam invents the “Blow Pro” a variant of the go pro camera, the type used to film Ari’s friend getting a ladyboy BJ.
Adam says he believes they all need to get caught, he’s now arguing about people who use “all I did” as an excuse for their repeated criminal actions.
Adam says this is the kind of stupid you shouldn’t wish on your kids or anyone, he now uses a cop giving you a warning and you commenting on it and getting in worse trouble.
Adam says your life shouldn’t be ruined over an 8 ½ seconds of mistake, Ari says this is why he doesn’t carry a gun around.
2nd Story is on the fatal wrestling match in Tijuana, Gina has the video footage of the kick that ultimately led to the death of one of the wrestlers.
Adam wonders if in Mexican wrestling they declare someone must die once a year to keep it fresh and seemingly dangerous.
Adam is commenting on the guy who gave the one final kick to the dying guy, unaware he was really hurt.
Adam is commenting on the guy out there who drew a cock on a dead buddy, he says there must be these guys who graffiti their buddies while they were passed out.
Adam is now riffing the call between the guy who drew the cock and the dead guy’s mom, hilarious palm tree with reverse irrigation comments from Adam.
Adam is joking about shaving the dead guy’s balls.
3rd Story is on the end of the ‘Race together’ campaign, Adam is arguing that if they want to be more racially inclusive, why not lower the cost of a cup of coffee.
Gina asks how this is supposed to work, Adam is assuming this is Starbucks trying to get some good PR and now uses viral videos to make his point about generating interest and buzz.
Gina brings up the McDonalds campaign daring customers to act out.
Adam is blaming the interment for corporations having to pretend to be nice and care about things.
Adam says we are such pussies we have to treat every entity like our mommy, sucking at the tit of all of these relationships.
Adam is asking when the NFL started loving chicks and criticizes the pink ribbons, Adam says this is a manifestation of a generation brought up with too much self-esteem.
Adam is mocking the 2 ounces of “feel good” used in yogurt advertisements.
Adam asks if the guys feel like they need a personal relationship with their fucking carwash.
“Here’s our fucking product, eat it!”
Ari is now bringing up a bullshit ad campaign, Adam is arguing that the airport is the last bastion of “fuck you” honesty as there is no competition.
Adam says “how much we appreciate you” is a smokescreen to lure your business and loyalty.
Ari brings up cable companies and the monopoly they hold.
Adam is doing a Squatty Potty live read
Ari was recently given one by his agent, nice assist again Ari!
Ari is telling them about holding in his poop and being forced to get an enema, Adam jokes about a Jewish guy needing to see a doctor just involves him waiting until his dad comes home.
Adam says he would stop at putting his hands in his son’s butt, Ari is bragging about enema force and Adam is hinting about the “Jacuzzi Water Gun” BB tried to get him to move on, why!?
Adam is now telling Ari about Ray filling up his ass with water at The Mulholland Club in their youths, Ari is stunned by the revelation of Ray spraying shit water onto girl’s heads.
Adam jokes about that being the opposite of an aphrodisiac for women, Ari is sharing an anecdote of one of his buddies who shits in hot tubs.
Gina brings up the recent flight that returned to the airport due to the scent of feces escaping from the lavatory.
4th Story is on the end of ‘Top Gear’ and she’s got all of the details including the petition with over a million signatures to bring Jeremy Clarkson back to the show.
Gina tells them about this being the result of Jeremy hitting a producer, BB and Ari suggest it was a female producer and Adam is now explaining how guys are used to being handled roughly.
Adam is commenting on rough housing and how “I’m Serious” was the ultimate safe word, he doesn’t share the story of being rolled up in a giant carpet.
Adam is explaining how they would do battle on the diving board at his buddy Tom’s house, Tom had a pool.
Gina has the details of the punch and gender of the producer, she explains the producer is in hiding due to the overwhelming death threats.
Ari suggests there are bigger fish to fry, rape or above and Adam has a killer reply about an unfortunate store.
Gina wraps the news.
Adam is doing a live read for Squarespace
Adam is giving out the plugs, Ari is explaining that Ralphie May is the best and tells them about him gifting him a giant nug of weed.
Adam closes out the show, solid episode and Ari should come back much more often, he’s a killer guest.