19 Mar Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 03/18/2013 – Ari Shaffir and Dr. Bruce
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Ari Shaffir and Dr. Bruce
Recorded 03-17-2013 – Release Date 03-18-2013
Production Number #1036
Adam is opening the show with a quick tease for Bryan’s new film review segment and Alison has a quick anecdote about trying to get some advance info, wow Bryan has gone Hollywood.
Adam is now telling some tales of the track, he was out at Willow Springs doing practice laps for the upcoming “Toyota Celebrity Grand Prix” and became fast friends with Michelle Rodriguez of the “Fast and Furious” films.
Adam lets a key plot detail about memory loss slip and now he’s riffing on the Rock and his arm butter, apparently he joked about it with Michelle and now Adam is telling listeners to invest in arm butter instead of precious metals.
Adam is explaining how being the winner of the race last year now defaults him as “The cool guy” among the other celebrities. Adam has a funny reveal about a book report from Ray during high school.
Adam is now telling the gang about performing live in Northridge with Dennis Prager, they weren’t selling Mangria at the venue and after some investigation Adam discovered it was because of California laws.
Adam is now breaking down how futile it is to attempt to do any business in CA and how it’s the only state they’ve had any difficulty selling Mangria at a venue, Adam is breaking down all the money they lost and BB has a great point to match Alison’s honest reaction to the hopelessness.
Adam has another anecdote about Dennis Prager holding a cigar on stage and being interrupted mid show by the staff, wow they actually interfered mid show!? HE SHOULD HAVE HIS HANDS CUT OFF!
Adam is now advocating radar detectors for all citizens and wishing to the great magnet that the pussy cops who monitor speed traps get testicular cancer.
Adam is now explaining how this behavior leads to tax payers feeling and behaving like criminals, he’s got an amazing IRS analogy and now he’s explaining how he was wearing his fire suit.
Adam is now giving a plug for his radar detector the Valentine 1.
Adam is now explaining that the paperback for NTBM is about to hit the shelves and he’s rehashing the back cover joke about gouging the elderly and how badly the publishing company fucked up the joke.
Gary is now on mic to explain that they have an email exchange between Mike Lynch and the publisher about the joke, Alison is now reading the email.
Adam is now telling the gang about the disheveled woman who was the last person in the autograph line who wanted to debate Adam on the joke on the back cover of NTBM.
Adam had a hilarious exchange with the woman where he claimed to have invoices, great Aramaic one liner from BB.
Adam is now telling the gang about Mike’s comment about the woman when she left and Adam’s even sadder reply about all the people who didn’t get the joke thinking just like said crazy woman.
Hooray for BaldyWood
Bryan is now giving his review for “The Incredible Burt Wonderstone”, he saw it over the weekend and seems to have his IMDB facts straight, seems to have a scripted “Sharon Tate” joke and he doesn’t seem to be a fan of the movie.
Adam has a great question and cites “Anchorman” as an example of a movie that is able to sustain its premise and bizarre universe for the whole running time.
Bryan is now citing the running time of the movie and now they’re all discussing the length of films, in particular modern comedies. Adam has a killer first date analogy that sums it all up and Alison’s delayed/possibly initially off mic reaction is amazing!
Adam now has a solid Jim Carrey/Eddie Murphy comparison with flawless logic, hilarious!
Adam’s now further elaborating with his analogy and explaining how it seems both men choose scripts for their next project with a “Drunken Donkey” riff and Bryan Alison are getting in the mix making it gold, Adam is now going super in depth with how you hire and intoxicate a donkey.
Thank The Great Magnet for Alison; she just called out Bryan’s chambered one liners that are ruining/making this bit, hilarious!
Dr. Bruce, Doc B! The Spazziest one is now in studio to join the gang, mid live read and in standard fashion with his less than ninja like entrance.
Bruce is trying to get Bryan to queue the song for his segment; Bryan has a pretty high and mighty command for Bruce, C’mon buddy really?
HealthWatch
Bruce doesn’t know why Super Glue was invented and just disagreed with Adam who told him the battlefield origin, why are these segments so heated, WHAT IS EVERYONE YELLING ABOUT!
Bruce is respectfully asking Adam to shut the fuck up and now Adam is explaining that Bruce coming in and getting verbally abused is a self-fulfilling prophecy and getting Alison to give her expert take on it.
Bruce is now explaining how Super Glue can be accidentally used in place of everyday items like eye drops and how it can also be used as a weapon, he’s citing a possible urban legend and an actual case he experienced.
Adam is now reading the true origin of Super Glue and closing the book on that earlier kerfuffle.
Bryan is now pointing out the “Great Magnet” style event of there being a glued penis story in “Reservoir Dogs” his earlier film recommendation and randomly brought up in Healthwatch as well.
Bruce is now reading off some flavors for the nicotine inhaler he brought into the studio.
He just noticed the misspelling of “Piña Colada” and Alison jumps in with possibly her most cold and Terminator like retort in the history of the show explaining exactly how it’s misspelled and now I’m 10k times more self-conscious about her ever reading these sidebars, rad!
Adam is now making a great almost “George Carlin”-esque point about outlawing things for the sake of protecting children.
Adam is now calling for some mild parenting instead as it’s a much simpler way to fix everything and allows adults access to items/substances they might want or need and Alison seems to be in agreement.
Adam is now telling the gang an anecdote about Sonny, Adam was asking him his favorite drink as he wanted to get him one as a reward, Father of the Year!
Sonny told him his 2nd favorite drink, Adam was expecting an even fizzier choice for number #1 but Sonny shocked him with a healthy reply and Adam is now explaining how that affected him and what he thinks it means when it comes to raising new humans.
Adam is now asking Bruce what flavor that nicotine inhaler was, Adam is now going off on the flavored pumice you encounter at the dentist, but instead of the classic riff he’s taking it to new places.
Adam has an amazing quote about swapping rum for silica sand, now he’s explaining all the things he does like the taste of, just not at 6am nor at the dentist and the last two set Bryan up for what might be his all-time funniest off the cuff one liner, wow!
Bruce is now reading a story from Forbes on how rating your doctor could be a negative thing, he’s citing some real-world examples and now Adam is explaining how every doctor he talks to seems to be against President Obama’s healthcare reform initiative.
Adam is now sharing a thought he had the other day about an international committee of people who don’t have a dog in this fight, he’s explaining how race, gender, age etc. can result in people squabbling over nonsense and how this would resolve that.
Adam is now further fleshing out his “Carolla Objectivity Council” and Bryan is of course disagreeing and of course it’s with the spine of Adam’s entire premise. Bruce is calling for Aliens because humans can never be truly objective, the science’ish answer!
Bruce is now sharing an anecdote about a recent patient with abdominal pains, she was obese and had a fatty liver, Bruce had to inform her it was due to her obesity and she was not pleased, cool story bro!
They’re wrapping up health watch and now Adam is telling the gang he can’t remember ever telling a doctor they’re wrong, he’s probably talking about during visits only, because I do have over 1k hours of him yelling at Dr. Drew.
Adam is now welcoming Ari to the show for his first appearance, he’s got some plugs for him and now he’s telling Ari about the two “upper hand” moves he wants to pull with every greeting and goodbye.
Ari is now asking him if he ever gets the “I thought you were funny” post standup “Complisult”.
Adam is now asking Ari about finally getting his own audience of fans; Adam is now using Bruce Springsteen to make a point.
Adam and Ari are now riffing on spoken word, some funny Henry Rollins mentions and now Adam is asking Ari about his “amazing racist” character he used to do.
Alison’s news
Her top story is on “Breaking Bad” bringing newfound record tourism to New Mexico, Alison is reading the details and setting it up perfectly.
Adam is now explaining how he drove Bryan Cranston to the airport after his first ACP(GAY EYE!) almost 4 years ago and how the show was originally supposed to be shot in Riverside and would have delivered a much needed boost to the economy had California not driven film productions out of state.
Adam is now going off on rock candy, hilarious hiking riff and now he’s suggesting “Cat shit candy” and now Ari has inspired a licorice tangent and Adam is lamenting the absence of anise in today’s world.
Adam is now telling the gang about trying speed, Alison wants to know why and now Adam is explaining what it was like to try smoking cocaine in his kitchen, 2nd time that has been brought up in the last 10 shows btw.
2nd story is on a Greek Soccer player being banned from the game after giving a Nazi salute after scoring a goal, Alison is reading the details of the story and Adam has a great “reel it in” for the Jewish set in the studio.
Adam is now asking to see the guys move and he’s giving his take on it, hilarious one liner from BB.
Ari has a funny observation on the guy standing next to the player mid Heil; Adam has a great Hitler in a vacuum joke that works on multiple levels.
3rd story is on Madonna asking the Boy Scouts to remove their ban on gay participants; Alison is reading the details and asking if they’ve ever talked about her being a blow hard.
Adam is now citing the footage of her in Buenos Ares where Madonna chastised someone for smoking and threatened to leave the stadium.
Ari has a hilarious Udai and Qusai Hussein point that Adam seems to respect and is mulling over, Adam is now explaining how some people you never want to get famous for fear of the monster they would become and he has an accurate and hilarious comment about BB, whose response actually proves Adam right.
4th story is on the Kick Starter to fund a “Veronica Mars” movie, Alison is reading the stats, Adam has a great callback to 2min ago and Ari has some funny comments, Ari is a great guest!
Adam has an interesting and unique take on how this could become a slippery slope and he’s got a great Coors one liner along with some interesting parallels to the independent film movement from the 90’s.
Alison is wrapping the news and now Adam is reading the stats on Veronica Mars, Adam is explaining Datsun/Nissan branding to the gang.
Adam is now about to close the show and Ari has a last minute question about the “Man Show” and wants to know how Adam felts about season 5.
Adam is now giving his standard answer but adding in an interesting observation about the show having already set bones and how easy it would be to plug in two new hosts.
He’s now echoing the exact sentiment of Joe Rogan and Doug Stanhope from Joe’s podcast; it was discussed very in depth on JRE #101 with Adam Carolla, by far their funniest episode(I’ve heard them all).