13 Mar Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 03/10/2014 – Eric Stonestreet and Dr. Drew, Live at the Hollywood Improv
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Eric Stonestreet and Dr. Drew, Live at the Hollywood Improv
Recorded 03-08-2014 – Release Date 03-10-2014
Production Number #1277
Adam is opening the show with Gina, BB, Eric and Dr. Drew all live on stage and he’s opening he show telling them about taking his son to the track for some running events, Adam is mocking the idea of organized running for kids.
Adam is sharing how Drew saw Van Halen before they were famous at the same high school and Eric is joining them telling them about growing up on a farm and taking it his pigs on vacation to only be slaughtered after being sold.
Drew is now asking Eric if he ever got attached to any of the pigs, he’s telling them about a sick dog named “Magnum P.I.” and how his dad called the family friend “Joe Bueller” who came to shoot “Magnum P.I” while driving a “Simon and Simon” truck.
Adam is joking about dog Molly and her “Tumor Tuesdays” along with her inner ear yeast infection, hilarious reactions from Eric and BB.
Adam is now joking about molly’s one hear head flap, great Karate Kid drums and “Mathias from Omega Man” references.
Drew says Molly is the sweetest dog on earth but Natalia will take her out for the family if needed, Adam is now mocking Molly’s current attire, one of his shirts and Natalia’s sock.
Adam is now telling the veterinarian ear story, the attempt to save the ear and how it resulted in a 2nd trip to the house, Adam is now joking about being able to deliver a “don’t get your hopes up” in his carpenter days.
Eric has a hilarious joke about them not having a photo of his dog ready, but the jokes on him because Gary seems to find one within 30 seconds.
Eric is telling them about his dog and its mouth warts, he’s bonding with Gina who is from his same neck of the woods, Adam is mocking her for asking him why he’s asking follow up questions.
They’re now discussing her “ample” chest and Adam is now saying “it’s that or nothing” for what men stare at, men aren’t able to stare at your wit or achievements.
Adam is joking with Eric and how he gets all of the benefits of being gay because of his role on the show and they’re now discussing his bedroom activities and Eric is steering it back to how he explains he’s straight in real life.
Adam is now praising “Modern Family” and the rerun of the earthquake episode where Nathan Lane was apparently fantastic.
Adam is now asking him about the season they’re on and complimenting the show.
Q and Ace
1st Question from Samantha, she’s thanking Adam for fixing her house on “Catch a Contractor” the couple from watts/Englewood adjacent.
Adam is now riffing on the billboards in Detroit, the fat guys in 3 piece suits proclaiming they’ll fight for you, he’s contrasting that to the “29 dollar teeth” signs he passed in Englewood and he’s joking about his trailer getting tagged.
Adam is now calling tags and tagging the gangbangers’ version of lingerie, it’s for them not for us, and this is a great riff.
Adam is now saying that the front page of the local phone book should have all of the gang insignias for citizens to translate graffiti, BB just invented a “Shazam” like app for doing this very thing.
Gina has a comment about tags being like “The hobo code” from Man Men, indicating who lives in a home etc.
Adam is now joking about the churro hut at the L.A. zoo, the woman from the show works for the zoo and he’s telling them about her bad contractor.
Adam is going off on the custard stuffed churros and Eric is now taking the word from “Juan Valdez” in the audience and Adam is joking about him and his son sharing a gooey churro, working the balls of the churro, great reaction from Drew!
Adam is summing up that everything is good with the house after the show left, Eric is now telling them about seeing him film “The Adam Carolla Project” in 2005 and jokes that he stole all of the tools.
Eric says he pointed out the house 3 doors down with a pirate flag in its backyard, Adam says that was the house that owned “moon” the greasy blue dog, great Joe callback.
Eric is now saying that his dog was attacked by a dog at that house, Adam is now trying to launch into the “sprinkler key” story with Moon and Adam is now sharing about the Ringwald family who lived down the street.
Drew mocks Adam for not telling the “Moon” story very often unlike all of his other stories, he’s correct in that this story was only told on Classic loveline 2-3 times, maybe only twice with Drew present, Adam snaps right back with the “Van Halen” prom story and settles Drew’s hash.
Eric is now in the mix doing a “ladies, ladies you’re both pretty” and Adam is finishing the story with all of the details, he mentions being love with a Ringwald, not Molly but Beth and it’s not clarified.
Adam is now sharing how the dog ended up lunging at him after he tried to scare the dog away, he’s joking about his life flashing before his eyes, him beating off and failing in school, a horrible montage.
Adam is really going in depth on the “teary freaked out” state he was in, Drew is bringing up how Mr. Ringwald was blind and is mistaking Adam’s stories.
Adam is joking about blind stories being disappointing, no explosions in the lab, it’s always some rare disease, Eric cites a man he knows who was next to a fire truck that blew up and went blind, a classic Loveline caller lost his sight in a meth lab explosion on the first Andrew W.K. episode.
Adam is now sharing the exact story he told on Loveline about Bob Ringwald getting around town blind, hilarious riff from Adam about not being able to navigate his own home in the dark, great shitting in a wicker basket joke.
Adam wants to know why the blind cane has to breakdown so much, great “yeah but still” in reply to Eric’s logic.
Eric is telling them about a homeless blind guy he saw with a broken stick, Adam is now joking about the way you could fool a blind guy with a “subzero” fridge box that’s actually a cardboard box from a cheaper model.
Adam is now asking what’s sadder, at guy alone on bicycle built for two or guy in wheelchair who propels himself with his feet, Adam says it’s like how squids move.
Adam is now taking a poll of the audience and adding homeless blind guy to the list.
Eric is telling them about his desire to be a rodeo clown and his character “Fizbo” that he did in real life as a kid and also on the show.
Eric is now telling them about his journey, how he injured himself sleepwalking while visiting home from college, Drew is sharing how sleep disturbances only increase in college environments and he’s explaining why.
Drew has a reveal about his own son and his sleep walking recommendation upon showing up for school, Eric is now telling the story of how badly he hurt himself falling down the stairs.
Adam has another could great references to Eric’s family and Joe, they’re now joking about discus throwing and how it’s such a rare sport that you can always proclaim you’re the best at any party, Adam’s got a great guitar vs. bagpipes analogy to make his point.
Eric is explaining the difference between shot put and discus various incidents until Adam’s teeth hurt and they move on.
Adam is now telling them about playing basketball with his kids today in the middle of the next audience question, Adam is joking about his daughter and her “brutal” honesty.
Adam is explaining how he hate the gummy bear she dropped on the bench and asphalt, “that’s why Daddy is a Viking bitch!” – Adam
2nd Question from Phil, he wants to know how to celebrate his 50th birthday and Adam is sharing how he’s going to celebrate his, predicting that Kimmel will be doing something for him.
Adam is now explaining the gift giving rule attempt from Daniel Kellison and why Jimmy overruled him and enjoys pageantry.
Gina is citing the Sex and City 2 birthday story and now Adam has to tell a mini version to Drew.
Adam is now asking Drew about his 50th and BB plays some “Cherry Pie” twice, weird scream during the first one.
Adam is now asking if people remember when Vegas was fun and how it has now become a pain in the ass, Adam is blaming himself and BB plays the drop again, Jesus Christ from Drew.
Adam is now launching into the story about Drew’s wife and how she doesn’t pick up audio queues, Eric is now perfectly launching into an improv scene with Ace about one of these types of phone calls.
Adam is doing the “Paulina’s retainer” story with the will do’s and how Adam grabbed the phone and said he wanted off the phone, Drew is now doing an impression of the “get off the phone bitch” and other things Adam was shouting next to him in the town car.
“Bitch check in the fucking hospital!” – Adam has Drew’s anger translator ala Key and Peele, Eric says he now uses “the end” to wrap up calls.
Eric is telling them about turning 40 and how he doesn’t feel any different and how younger women don’t seem out of his league, Adam is now sharing his theory about old man noises, and he calls it a “lazy Kiai” and is joking about an elderly Jewish sensei.
Adam is saying he only makes that noise to cover up his accidental couch farts when standing in his advancing age, he says he feels he no longer has total dominion over his farts and can’t control his butthole anymore.
Adam compares his old man grunts when standing to the move that women with bad teeth do, covering their hands with their mouth when they laugh.
Drew is citing Engineer Anderson’s lack of enjoyment for fart human, Eric is now joking about his own attempts to keep well groomed and why he appreciates that in a woman.
Adam is now citing the “hey uhhh” fart move where you accidentally fart next to a person, Drew totally understands what he’s saying.
Adam is now telling them about his large gay Jewish friend who he used to share a bed with in his improv days, Drew tries to cite an old friend who Adam clearly doesn’t want to talk about.
Adam is sharing his attempt at farting the man out of bed and getting a louder trump card in return, Eric wants to know how many people on earth have just farted and Adam is ending the topic and it goes to break.
1st Story is on a woman who was found mummified in her car some 5 years after her death, she’s reading the details of how she went undiscovered for so long.
Adam is now joking about how he’ll never be the dude to find the body, great slim Jim and special needs neighbor kid example of what he would do.
Gina has an assumption about the death and Drew has a great detective like comment that Eric seems to appreciate.
2nd Story is on “Catch a Contractor” Adam’s new show.
Adam is saying hell yeah to the review she just read and calling himself a hero, Adam says it’s a good show and clarifies that it’s not his idea but its good.
Adam and Eric are joking with the couple in the audience who were featured on the show, he’s sharing his dilemma of these homes being like his own childhood abodes and how most of these contractors are like the guys he went to high school with.
Adam is sharing his “small dominos plain cheese” idea for dodging the cops on “To Catch a Predator” and Eric is praising his genius logic.
Gina is now setting up a clip from the show and they’re playing it, did not work out well and Adam is mocking it.
3rd Story is on an interactive tongue exercise app, Gina is reading the details of the app and why one would use it.
Adam has a great “that guys loves the shit out of Siri” one liner.
Eric is sharing his own tips for oral sex, he’s joking about someone in high school telling it to him, Adam is joking about the greasepaint and clown past of Eric.
Adam has a hilarious “cod” one liner about lifesavers and how after a long night of drinking and dancing it’s not going to taste like “root beer”.
They’re discussing the bacteria on phones and the poo bacteria on keyboards and Drew is explaining how it’s just a marker, it’s not necessarily a danger.
They’re joking about Bob Costas and Adam has a killer “glass coffee table” joke, Adam is now mocking Gina and telling her she needs to do a “Ted” talk, Adam and Drew just invented “Farts and Fecal” the new morning team, Eric is sliding in perfectly and Gina is joining them.
4th Story is on the LAPD and their cracking down on motorists this year.
Adam is telling them they work for him, the fuck ups from high school who graciously are given 61k a year to not fuck with us, not a Viking ship with Adam and the other citizens trapped.
Drew is now mocking it too and everyone seems to agree, Adam says bring back the policeman’s ball instead of this shit, have some goddamn dignity, Adam is ranting his ass off.
Eric is now telling him about getting a ticket for his tinted windows, Eric is explaining why him not having tints is more of a danger than not, good logic.
Adam is telling he got bad cop/pussy cop with a nice assist from Drew, Adam is now doing a live read.
Adam is joking about “national mind your own beeswax month” as an alternate campaign from Legal zoom.
Eric has nice praise for Dawson
5th Story Gina is not understanding “Germany or Florida” as Drew tries to explain it, the story is on a Florida man who had sex with a pit-bull.
Adam is now referencing Loveline #601 SUNDAY, JANUARY 18, 1998 NO GUEST where James called up and told them about his sex life with his dog.
Drew is remembering it almost perfectly, this is wonderful!
Drew remembers the name of the dog and James the caller, Adam is now joking about his own dog raping him and dogs don’t have to be coached up to fuck things.
Adam is explaining that he signed off on it when he found out the dog was fucking him, Drew is sharing the outrage of the female staff.
Adam is now explaining the multitudes of lives for a Dog, Adam and BB agree fucking your owner is the best status for a dog, Adam is now riffing about dogs chatting at the dog park, great improv with Eric!
This might be Ace Awards 2014 Material!
6th Story is on the abundance of men and lack of women in NYC and the opposite dilemma in SFO for dating, Adam is now joking about a new store for men “Sir plus” a plus size store where he riffs off the word surplus.
Gina is explaining the “dating ring” and Adam is mocking her use of “hightail” and Adam is now joking about how weird this is.
Drew makes a nice point about soul mates and proximity, he’s saying the internet has changed all of that and Gina is sharing her take on this idea.
Adam is joking with Eric about his tough spot and having to fuck 23yrs olds all day, Eric says he wants some who loved Fizbo for Fizbo.
“I want to fuck a baby into somebody!” – Eric
Adam is now joking about his thoughts of trying to dunk the ball with his daughter today and how he finally felt alive.
Adam is now joking about the “cool down” lap at the end of the track meet, Adam is joking about it with Eric and how they pamper kids now.
“Why must you drive to go run!?” – Adam on the idea of driving to run somewhere and he’s mocking the miserable look of people running.
Adam and Eric are bonding over the assholes who run in place at traffic lights.
Adam is now calling that move the same move as the guy in the gang bang porn who is fluffing his dick while in line waiting for his turn.
Adam is now doing another live read and is joking about “James Tran” and his million dollar win.
Adam is now wrapping up the show and Dawson just got some more praise from Eric, Drew is threatening to bring Dawson onto his podcast to really break him open,
Adam has a great “Jaws” reference about Dawson being filled with bong water and he’s giving out the plugs and giving away a speaker to the woman in the audience who loved the fart humor but hated the gang bang porn comedy.