07 Mar Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 03/04/2016 – Kevin Clancy and Jeff Abraham
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Kevin Clancy and Jeff Abraham
Recorded 03-03-2016 – Release Date 03-04-2016
Production Number #1771
Adam opens the show with Kristen Carney once again filling in on the news, BB has a “Fuck Your Flag” #TopDrop from Kristen who explains how she was prepared and for the call from Gary, despite sitting around doing nothing, she got ready and the work coincidentally came to her.
Adam is talking about his corporate gig in Vegas and how the town changes in his mind’s eye over the years.
Adam is now going over the repeated “anything you want me to bring up” beat from the guy who was presenting him on stage.
Adam is talking about the Southwest flight attendant asking him to pull his seatback all the way up/forward.
Adam has a killer line about a fat guy sighing and imagining a girlfriend from 200lbs ago and moving the same amount as a Southwest seat with their limited pitch and recline.
Kristen jokes about a syphilis outbreak in Vegas and Adam is now bringing up the “can you go ahead and turn around for me… real fast” interaction with the TSA agent in Vegas.
Adam is telling them about the Mexican restaurant at the end of the terminal for Southwest at McCarran airport and asking for his two tacos “ala carte” and how the woman refused to bring it sans rice and beans.
Adam is riffing up a storm and ranting about this obtuse woman, Adam has finally accepted the rice and beans and when the plates arrived it turned out the woman was wrong and his didn’t come with rice and beans, Mike’s did.
Adam asks why she was so insistent and hostile, is she angry at dad and BB says she’s limited intellectually and Adam says there is a wind blowing with a lot of angry broads.
Adam talks about the dissolution of the American family and the hurt of an absentee father is carried around by more people than you think.
Adam screams “I Know Everything” and explains that guys beat up a side of beef like Rocky when abandoned by daddy, women get passive aggressive and now Adam is talking about the valet.
Adam says he’s never had a valet remove the tab they placed on your car nor move the seat back to the position you left it in.
Adam and Gary are both going off on valets not moving the seat back and how simple it is, Adam says this valet even apologized and acknowledged it.
Adam wants everyone to join him in his douche brigade of tip denial.
Adam has a funny “I think that windshield is on its period” line and jokes about the people who have died while trying to get the slip off their windshields, Adam once again references the movie ‘San Andreas’ and Adam says this is best of Carolla day.
Adam is now talking about the left turn arrows that he and August drove past, another double stack and BB calls it a risky move.
Adam says it’s not and explains why he’s never got as ticket in decades of doing thig, Gary defends Adam’s logic and updates him on the flashing arrows of Fullerton.
Adam says they have a fair bit of contempt for the citizens in Los Angeles and BB uses the term “Carpetbaggers” and Adam asks if they should wait to talk about Gina’s brother until she gets back.
Adam explains she’s out sick and goes over his final riff of the live show with Soledad O’Brien and how 2min after they walked off stage the epitome of the guy Adam described walked into the green room.
Adam tried to talk to Mike August about him on the way home, he said he never saw the guy.
Adam described the scene he spotted while leaving the house this morning, Natalia lying on the ground like she fell onto the ground with a loud Rihanna song blaring into her head.
Sonny was sitting up and politely said hello, Adam is now mocking the notion of astrology and how people are just how they are and have always been.
Kristen is telling them about pre-snoozing with her alarm clock.
Adam is now saying it’s hard to argue with people’s sleeping and says he’s gotten into the sleep bar argument with Lynette before.
BB tells them about a college roommate who would keep his alarm on the other side of the room as he didn’t trust himself.
Adam is telling them about when he used to build and install lofts for people and how his roommate once left his alarm blaring after he left and he could hear it through the air vent up near his pillow in the loft bed he was using at the time.
Adam says you are screwing with the memory of the person who invented the clock by using the snooze bar, hilarious one liners from Adam in rapid fire delivery, very funny.
Adam agrees with Bryan, sleep as long as you can and then get up.
Adam talks about how the sleep bar allows you to deny your alarm while essentially intoxicated by sleep.
Adam wants another survey of the gang, who uses the snooze bar.
Adam is now telling them about laying out all of his stuff for his flight and how prepares himself to wake 10min before he needs to leave.
Gary talks about adjusting his baits and Kristen weighs in too.
Adam is now doing a Blinds Galore Live Read
It was too dark to dial in the blinds today
Gary is now reading the results of the poll and comments on Caelan being a snooze button guy.
Adam is doing like 10 more layers on sleep and the logic of humans to deny their own best intentions and BB is right there with him, this is really interesting.
Adam is doing a Life Lock Live Read
Adam welcomes Jeff Abraham to the show and refreshes everyone on how he came into the Carolla universe.
Jeff was in Vegas earlier today.
Adam says the airport was jam-packed and his flight out was only half full.
Adam says he should be able to ring a bell and kick people out, BB blames connection flights.
Jeff is telling them about his car accident on the way to McCarran before his last scheduled visit.
Jeff is telling them about his leaky spinal fluid and various other symptoms.
The person behind him was texting and rear ended him.
Adam is now talking about the DOT mandate for a 3rd break light in the middle of the back window.
Adam talks about the early days of this design and the Porsche models that have a snorkel like shaped rig for the rear window light.
Adam asks about cars coming with a rear horn/light blast that could be used to alert texting drivers behind you and Adam knows kids will end up using it for pranks, he says the same arguments can be made against high beams and car horns.
Adam talks about getting distracted by his wife’s in screen navigation system and how he almost rear ended another car as traffic changed rapidly, he had to slam on the brakes.
Jeff tells them about the car accident and how the OnStar woman was the first voice he heard and the motorist in front of Jeff told him the horrific truth of the accident and what he saw and feared for him.
Adam says that if he owns a hospital he will require all of the nurses be dressed as angels, maybe one as a devil and he riffs about freaking out unconscious patients when they wake up in the hospital.
Adam asks Jeff about the “Empty Bag” who hit him and Jeff is describing the insurance company drama and shitty customer service and cold reality of dealing with the system.
Adam is now talking about Jeff’s dilemma and has a great dookie floater in iced tea closer.
Q and Ace
1st Caller Mike, he’s calling about doing things around the house and brings up the coat hanger he needed to get some hair from a drain.
Adam has a killer “pull out the fetus” one liner and Adam says that his wife now has her own shower and Adam has one for him to use in theory, Sonny might use it sometime though.
Adam is now riffing about the barbed devices for cleaning drains and Kristen tells them about the hair going down through her butt crack as she sheds it in the shower.
Adam is now talking about Sinead O’Connor or Farrah Fawcett as different ends of the girlfriend hair loss spectrum, BB has a “towards the end” cancer joke that Adam responds to with a mixed and awesome reaction.
Adam is talking about farming out his kitchen remodel and how every line item is prices with built in profit margins and how he’s now thinking about piecemealing the job to avoid paying more.
It’s Mike August’s guy and Mike is cheap; he likes the guy but he can do so much of this for so much less.
Adam now doing a nice Live Read for Promescent
Jeff asks if Adam is only semi-famous as the caller stated than what are the rest of the people in the building.
Adam is now talking about the “they want to talk to Clooney” factor and explains he ran into Patton Oswalt at the airport and he compliments Adam’s movie ‘Road Hard’ as a fan approached them.
Adam is sharing his greatest fear of her asking Adam to take a photo of Patton and the alternate option of him being the one she was coming to and BB talks about being the photographer and the photographed while out with different friend’s groups.
Adam explains she was a big fan of both of them and Adam has a funny backhand joke, and they head to break.
They’re back form break with Kevin Clancy making his ACS debut
They return from break with a nice ‘Definitely Not a Jew’ and great deliver from Dawson.
Adam plugs Kevin’s website and says that his wife Lynette can’t stop raving about Kevin and Adam says his wife is one of the best people he’s ever known and what a great mother she is.
Kevin is telling Adam about being in the deep end of raising kids and Adam jokes about him putting cigarettes out on his daughter.
Adam says you can only fuck the kids up, you can watch them grow into who they always were and stay out of the way or you can take off and fuck them up forever and throw their life off the rails.
Adam is asking Kevin how his Barstool Sports brand started and how they were acquired and are now being sold as a brand.
Adam is sharing how he reacted to visiting the College Humor offices and how that compared to the comedy in church basements of his youth.
Adam is now talking about Boston and the people’s fanaticism for sports, Adam says Bogota Columbia beats anything in the United States.
So Adam is adjusting his rules for picking the most fanatical team and the city.
Adam says they must have a lot going on otherwise, Adam would argue that Boston is the city where his rules apply best.
Adam has a killer Ronda Rousey and Mike Dawson example and an even funnier Michael Phelps and Avocado Festival one, BB objects and Adam notes the bong connection.
Adam is now talking about San Francisco and Kevin says you have to throw NYC in the ring, BB says don’t sleep on Dallas.
Adam objects to the ‘Friday Night Lights’ effect and says it’s the trapping over a small town without much going on.
2nd Caller Robert, he’s on a hot streak and wants advice on how to stay humble, you can hear some ice clinking, in Kevin Mangria glass?
Robert tells them about attending the Grammy’s, meeting Adam and getting floor seat to the Lakers.
Adam likes his list of good events and Adam recalls his Elvis shirt and explains it to BB, hilarious riff about Robert’s shirt.
Adam is mocking weird nurse shoes and how they sport shoe models that are “yak and ass blast” friendly, Adam misses the wooden plank based shoe, ropes with two planks.
Adam is now describing the shoe to Gary to find, BB says liked “beamed” sandals, Adam says miles traveled per shoe those have to the best worst.
Kevin is now reacting to the shoes and BB asks about rice paddies.
Adam say the shoes are alarm bells for never getting caught beating off ever again, Kevin says Japanese guys are into getting caught and Kristen tells them about a “butt eating store” in Japan and Adam jokes about their vending machines that could contain anything.
3rd Caller Mike he’s freshly back from Vegas as well and wants to tell Adam about some upcoming race event, Adam is telling him about training for the Long Beach Grand Prix in the next few weeks and Mike explains the Cars and Coffee event.
Adam says he’s not into Cars and Coffee events and explains who Bruce Canepa is to the gang, Adam is explaining the one thing these events all have in common is the cars are all loud.
Adam says that you’re racing through your suburban community at 545am waking your neighbors to get to the coffee shop in time.
Adam is down with a “Noon’ish” cars and coffee event.
Adam says he’s been to that race before and he has an example of a not that exciting coincidence.
Adam is describing a caved in vintage GT40 door, he explains the accident that led to that door and a debate he got in about said crash, which then resulted in the exact same spin out between him and the guy he was disagreeing with, just that very day.
Adam is doing a Texture Live read
Gary is still searching and they’re checking the ‘Winter Speed Days’ and Adam gives him more information.
Adam mixes up his wife and mom again, BB says he’s been doing that a little too much.
Adam is talking about how his mom will pick an obscure European country and praise their ways of doing things over how we do things in America.
Adam says his mother and her mother before her did the same thing.
Adam is back to the Pizza Port beer afternoon where she got shitty about the subject and ruined their day of hanging out.
Adam hates a buzzkill who has to focus on the negative and BB says it’s a Debbie Downer tactic and Adam is talking about the beer purity laws of Germany and how someone tweeted him an article shortly after their argument.
Gary is now reading a tweet that states the derivatives of Round Up have been found in German beer, Adam wants to know if he should forward this to her, the correct snarky move.
Kevin says he should pick his battles and Gary predicts her probably reply, Adam just hopes one of them dies first and recalls the ‘Crank Yankers’ and the comment he made “not son should have to bury his father” and how a specific empathic delivery can sell anyone on anything.
1st Story is a list of the top searched porn terms.
Adam has a funny “#1 with a bullet vibrator” and Kevin reacts to the weird fetish searches.
Adam thinks “young” would trump any other term, Kristen says the report says some of the search terms are shocking even to Pornhub who collected the user data.
Gary has the news about Rhode Island being the only “MILF” state and Adam jokes about seeing his step sister Hillary in porn and Kristen is now offering up an angle.
Adam addresses Kevin’s theory about searching for porn equaling a problem, Adam is making a car guy analogy for why specific search terms are helpful.
BB is now arguing in defense of the MILF label.
2nd Story is on the new Tesla Model 3 and Gary explains the reasoning for the name, he’s got the details on the 200+ mile range for the car.
Adam compliments the new model of the Leaf that has over 100-mile range.
Adam is talking about the weird phobic part of human brains regarding vehicle range, he says its’ the same part of the brain that worries about not having toothpaste while traveling.
Adam is now doing a Live Read for Club W
Grape to Glass revolution/School to prison pipeline edition
3rd Story is on James Harrison’s appearance on The Steve Harvey Show where he talked about children of privilege, Kevin says this is about society and the world.
Adam says you don’t know what you’re depriving your children of when you don’t allow them to fail or learn from life.
Adam talks about a hot cup of coffee in your hands vs the skin under your arm and walking across your driveway with belly skin on your feet, you don’t have callouses.
Adam says don’t be cruel to your kids and talks about the conversation with his daughter the other night, as she was covered in ribs sauce and he made her gets up and wash herself off.
She objected and Adam made her do it, Adam has a killer variant on the Stripper’s DJ bit after BB plays the music sting.
They are now talking about James Harrison and Gary updates them on the great difficult Chris is having in finding the clip of the Carcast episode he’s talking about.
Adam is going over this specific play with Arizona, he says it was the best defensive play he’s ever seen in a Super Bowl.
Adam explains to Gary that it’s not a crash and they watch the footage of the guy going off the track.
BB has a funny Huell Howser drop and Adam asks Gary what he’s doing with the footage.
Adam says he misses a shift and the guy passes him and then spins out.
BB is mocking it with more Huell drops.
4th Story is on Los Angeles being up for the Super Bowl in 2020 or 2021.
Adam is mixed on it and says it will be a good excuse to get drunk.
Kevin is drinking the Mangria and compliments the Brose.
Adam is doing a Prosper.com Live Read
Kristen is telling them about her Indiegogo Campaign to make a short film, Adam wants to know the premise and she explains the plot and says it’s funny.
Adam says he misses Larry David ’esque comedies and most shows are now a lot of talking, like ‘Girls’ and the jokes are missing, he talks about a comedy being nervous and getting the jokes in rapid fire early on.
BB has a funny 90’s music reference.
“Things That Make You Go Hmmm…”
Adam gives out the closing plugs and of course BB ends the show to the new drop of Adam screaming he knows everything from earlier in the show.