26 Feb Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 02/17/2016 – Jillian Michaels and David Wild
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Jillian Michaels and David Wild
Recorded 02-16-2016 – Release Date 02-17-2016
Production Number #1759
Adam opens the show with a going on 7 years now intro, BB has a great “Cunt Bumper” #TopDrop and he welcomes David Wild back to the show for his 98th appearance.
Adam says Pitbull must be the most charismatic man on the planet and riffs about Pitbull and his seeming lack of talent, Adam says he would like to bring out Joel McHale and Jo Koy and just point art them and scream their names while they perform.
David is defining Pitbull and explains how much his wife loves him, Adam says in a way this is a backhanded compliment and David jokes about his compliments always having a bit of a sting.
“I would argue nobody needs gloves less than Pitbull” – Adam
Adam jokes about Pitbull not being able to move nor play an instrument, Gary has the clip of Pitbull’s performance.
Gina says he represents fun as they do some live commentary over the footage.
David says they’re all smiling and uses Dinesh D’Souza as a counterpoint for personal taste, low blow.
Adam is talking about Rihanna pulling out at the last minute and David tells them about getting the text about 35min before show time telling him that she wouldn’t be attending the show.
David says she sang very well at Dress Rehearsal, David says that a doctor gave her a note telling her not to sing and Adam says he wants to find that same doctor and have him give a note to Pitbull.
David has a Lauryn Hill anecdote and Adam tells them about th2 1996 KROQ Weenie Roast where the Fugees showed up late and got cut off during their first song as the venue can’t go late due to the extreme costs and fines.
David is telling them about the last time Rihanna and Chris Brown canceled last minute, the day of the domestic violence incident they’re both well known for.
David is explaining how they got things ready for air last minute and figured out the singing arrangement for the fill in act as they hit the stage.
BB loved the B.B. King Tribute and Adam brings up the Lady Gaga tribute to Bowie and how it would’ve been better if she had more time with fewer songs.
David is singing the praises of Bonnie Raitt and Adam is now talking about the transition and how hard that is to pull it off, why not have Lady Gaga just pull off 4 songs.
David has a great Niles Rogers tidbit and explains how it’s a thankless job, Adam says he wishes it was shorter, it was a great movie that was 30min too long.
David talks about the amount of people who died this year and guys like Maurice White had to be added to the show last minute.
David tells them about Stevie Wonder, Adam says he looks great and has a funny “doesn’t see himself” turn of phrase by accident, Adam praises Stevie’s non-serious image and how fun he seems in interviews.
They’re talking about Johnny Depp performing with his band and how he wasn’t featured that much, Adam asks if they were ordered to not focus on Johnny.
David mentions Shep Gordon and BB namechecks ‘Supermensch The Legend of Shep Gordon’ and Adam then drops a killer “Larry Bacon” one liner while talking about the ‘Hollywood Vampires’ performance.
David explains how he wanted to get Lemmy acknowledged by adding some ‘Ace of Spades’ to the end of the performance.
Adam is talking about guys like Duff McKagan who have played with everybody akin to guys like John Salley with 4 championship rings as he played for so many teams in his career.
Adam is talking about the collective teams of the bands all of the members of ‘Hollywood Vampires’ have played in you would add up 200 million records, yet they are able to pass among us and go buy cellphone covers at the mall undisturbed.
Adam is doing a Texture Live Read
David says he’s going to sign up today edition
BB sings the praises of the ‘Little Big Town’ and their performance, David says they are one of his favorite groups and explains how their song selection came to be.
Q and Ace
1st Caller Molly from Baltimore calling back, she got a black pug and wants a name for him.
Adam is sharing ‘Dozer’ the original name of his dog Phil, Adam explains how he called him Phil-dozer like the 1970’s TV movie ‘Killdozer’ and Gina is suggesting adding a “sir” or tittle to the name.
BB has a key Cunt Bumper drop and David once again references Antonin Scalia, Adam quizzes Moly to what she had picked out already, she says ‘Buck’ after the movie ‘Uncle Buck’ and Adam mocks her for choosing John Candy’s 27th best/worst movie.
David has a ‘Planes Trains and Automobiles’ joke that dies bigtime, wow!
BB gives him a “woof” holy shit, that’s cold
Adam tells Molly they’ll head out east again soon and asks her about riding the train to NYC, BB tells her to work on the crime rate and they’ll reconsider coming out to Baltimore.
Adam is talking about coming home to ‘Buffalo Soldiers’ playing on the sonos system when he got home, he explains it’s attached to a streaming service and you can’t skip tracks, what!?
Adam is now mocking ‘Buffalo Soldiers’ and says it’s white guilt, pure white guilt and music to try and get your dick sucked to.
Adam is now shitting on John Lennon and David says he has the new Jay Hawks album.
Adam suggest Bob Marley ripped off ‘The Banana Splits’ theme song and David insists it’s the other way around.
Gina reads it was released in 1983 and BB talks about pretending to like Bob Marley in College and Adam says he had to, in order to get fellatio in college.
Adam is now joking about Sting doing reggae versions of his old songs that he’s bored by.
Adam now wants a side by side comparison and David says he thinks Adam might be right and says it would be a great lawsuit.
Adam says the next song that came on really pissed him off, Kevin Hench ran into David while hiking today and they both spent 15min trying to figure out how to get Adam into Lou Reed.
They’re now playing some U2 ‘Bad’ the song that came on after Bob Marley.
Adam is saying he agrees on a little foreplay, not in the bedroom but sonically he enjoys it.
Dawson is on mic defending the track and the limited arrangement, David quotes Lou Reed.
Adam is crushing this “Bucka Bucka” rant and asks where The Edge’s mid goes while performing this live, David defends the name U2 for band, Adam says ‘The Swinging Medallions’ and ‘The Human Beans’ are the best band names.
Adam is doing a Life Lock Live Read
Don’t get ripped off like Snorky from The Banana Splits Edition.
They are now doing a side by side of the Banana Spits theme song and Buffalo Soldiers, he says it’s in minute 41 of the song.
Adam asks why we can’t quietly remember the soldiers instead of being stabbed in the ear.
They are proving some major plagiarism; David says this is bigger than the Hello mashup.
2nd Caller Rob, he wants to know about the way Adam’s mom would shout “Freak out” and suggests a 3 Mijo’s like bit that Adam isn’t biting on and BB explains bits are fun, this is not.
Adam is talking about the primal scream era of the 1970’s and how it became like a mantra, he talks about how his mom bought into biofeedback wheels.
Adam says there were a bunch of lost depressed hippie souls searching for meaning, a more narcissistic endeavor in lieu of employment.
David talks about Adam breaking the chain of his family and their legacy of depression and shitty childhoods.
Adam talks about walking down the street with your arm around your kid and describes a nice adventure to the hardware store walking arm in arm with his daughter.
Adam is now arguing about people who use their bad childhoods and family units as an excuse for why they can’t change or get further in life than where they came.
David mentions the arrival of Jillian Michaels and Adam jokes about David eating his first Fitbit, hilarious riff!
Adam wraps up with David and now Jillian is making her ACS debut, she last guested on the KLSX morning show on March 25th 2008 and then ran into Adam in NYC for a dinner event about a year ago.
Adam plugs her TV show and podcast, Adam talks about her being from Los Angeles and says it’s rare to meet celebrities from out here, she’s a huge Classic Loveline fan and BB has an Ice Cube real name drop that goes flat.
Adam is asking her about her parents and her decent upbringing, he wants to know about her plan and how she stumbled into fitness.
She tells them about training for her black belt, deliver pizzas in college and getting approached to get certified as a trainer.
She tells them about building a base of clients and asks her about digging deep and inspiring people to come back often.
She’s talking about the individual’s needs for motivation.
Adam asks her about her motor and asks if she was ever obese, or had an eating disorder etc.
Adam talks about how people usually get involved with charities due to personal connections, asking Jillian about her own weight and history with it.
She talks about being overweight as a youth and getting into martial arts and fitness, changing her life at a key age.
Adam says your sexual self-esteem is somehow locked in from 13-14 and people look at themselves that way for life.
Adam says that’s why it’s good not to fuck your kids up at that age, Jillian says she just had a realization that’s true and Adam gives the example of the time he was 32 and was told that a hot blonde thought he was cute, does he mean 34 and a possible Loveline cohost?
Listen to For Crying Out Loud if you want to hear more…
Jillian is talking about her own self-image and how she feels days to day, she says loser and makes it clear she’s not referring to a former employer.
Jillian says she’ll always be the outsider for sure, Adam has a killer “G Cup” line aimed at Gina asking her about her awkward phase and she says she used to not take up any space and says she’s the size of a zeppelin right now, rough.
Adam says that he always feels genuinely unattractive and how 10yrs down the road he thinks he’s a lot better looking than he appreciated at the time.
Adam asks her about a brand or plug or something that she really believes in, she talks about investing in different products and how the show on E! is her favorite thing right now.
Adam asks her about people asking her about her food and drink choices, she’s telling them about a cold brew coffee company she just bought and the beverage she’s sipping on.
Adam is talking about caffeine and booze delivery systems, we just need a flavor and a way to get booze or caffeine.
Adam asks her about trying to buy pie and having people purchase junk food for her, she has a boring answer that she’s good about food.
Adam is asking her about 3 basic rules for eating, she gives quantity and quality rules.
She says vegan, paleo and gluten free options are ok if you need them, but she would like healthy fats and a proper ratio of protein, fats and carbs.
She tells them about her kale berry salad and she says she promised her 5yr old a date night dinner out for some Mexican and describes her preferences.
Gina asks about her love of food and she explains she is more of a control freak than she is indulgent but says she is a “foodie” and goes over boring and simple choices.
Adam is doing a Reverie Bed Live Read
Adam called into Mark and Gina today and says Phil is his problem, he loves the bed too much and spreads out
Gina’s News
1st Story is on the big Grammy Winners and she mentions Adam’s favorite ‘Uptown Funk’ and Gina describes the Kendrick Lamar performance that’s getting lots of attention.
They play the opening minute or so after Adam riffs about chain gangs and how much peace of mind they gave people driving past who were not forced to do hard labor.
Gina is describing Adele’s quote about earning some ‘In and Out’ after the mix/piano incident.
They are talking about the Lady Gaga performance and Gina says she doesn’t know how to feel about the whole thing, Jillian says that Gina clearly didn’t like it and tells her to just say it.
Adam says this is like a hand job that’s too vigorous, do you really want to send/throw shade at the hooker in reply to learning of Bowie’s son’s shitty tweets aimed at Gaga for the effort she put on display.
Adam says this was her trying to give herself a hand job, he’s got a funny Mark Bowie one liner after BB said Duncan Jones and Adam jokes about his own father rotting away and the lack of a legacy left behind when he passes.
2nd Story is on the British Airways in flight announcements asking people to not eat peanuts when seated next to allergic passengers.
Gina has the story one the woman running the association that pressed for this, Adam is mocking the horrible shrew mother who created this rule.
Jillian didn’t know you can get the bogus sympathy dog notes online; she’s going to do it now she says.
Adam is now riffing about his notes telling then flight crew he needs to fly the plane with a pony flying shotgun and the copilot must clear out.
BB is playing the pilot and has great timing, I love this kind and intrigued straight man character he defaults to.
Adam is doing another lap on the process of landing the plane with BB as the pilot, this is hilarious “The final getting near” as Adam describes the final approach.
Adam calls his pony ‘My Little’ and is telling the copilot why he will leave the door ajar when he goes to the can and the pony is taking control.
Adam feels good about most of the passengers, this is Ace Awards 2016 material!
The “My Little” improv from February 2016, add this to the list!
3rd Story is on a 17yr old kid who spent 450$ of his own money to buy carnations for every girl in the school, Gina says he’s a pimp and Jillian is saying that there is something wrong there and calls him a murderer.
Adam is saying that his kids are in the 4th grade and have to prepare a valentine’s card for everyone, Adam is saying it defeats the spirit of the holiday, his childhood didn’t have Cupid’s participation trophies as he puts it.
Gina has a solid Cotillion joke and Jillian talks about trying to get her kids out Malibu schools, she says the kids have gas so bad she has them on enzymes.
Adam is asking her about her relationship and says that hard work has gotten her far in life and she can see the bullshit they’re poisoning the kids with.
Adam talks about the oozing blobs that children are being churned into in these loser factories where everyone gets to be a winner.
Adam talks about his childhood football experiences and knowing he sucked vs. almost winning a championship game after a perfect season.
Jillian is telling them about having a Black and Hispanic kid and how important diversity is to them.
Adam asks about her way too nice partner and talks about the motor in life that will get you up and cracking the next day and never let you down.
Adam is doing a Live Read for the Hydrogen powered Hyundai Tucson
Lynette left her car unplugged, Adam plugged it in and stared at it, trying to get more on the range finder.
4th Story is on a Chinese menu variant for Pizza Hut, topping including shrimp and lobster along with bacon.
Adam talks about a pizza add that mentioned it has 11ft of bacon pizza, Toppers?
Adam wants a solid form of mountain dew to put on top of this shitty pizza, just make dew solids and Dorito dust on top of dough.
Adam says he likes a Hawaiian style and meatballs on a pizza but come on man, Adam talks about mom and pop pizza placed and chains.
BB asks if the 1.50$ price difference is that much of a factor.
Jillian says her 12-year-old self appreciates Adam and Gina’s insane Dorito dust idea, Gina tells them about a Dorito crushing device she saw online.
5th Story is on Jerry Seinfeld’s plan of selling 18 of his cars, Adam is talking about his vast Porsche collection and he talks about how you would never stop throwing up if you heard what he paid for these cars back in the day.
Gina has all of the details and Adam is asking if one of the cars is an RSR and has a race history of some kind after she mentions 1973.
Gina asks if Adam is going to check this out and he says he likes to watch online; he describes the “Porsche that Hitler first got laid in” funny Goosestep University riff mocking teenage Hitler.
Adam is talking about the James Deen Porsche Jerry owned and desirables a guy showing him all of the details of it, including one of the panels that took an insane amount of work.
They are now watching a video of Jerry describing his race cars.
Gina is talking about the befit she saw a few years ago where someone asked him why he needs 50 porches and Adam talks about Seinfeld parting with these cars and how it’s usually a financial decision.
Adam is talking about Jerry buying these cars for much less than they’re valued at today and imagines all of the douchebags who told him not to buy them in 1996.
Adam is asking why he would get rid of it, that car will be worth double when it changes hands again in 6 years, he tells them about Jay Leno auctioning off a truck, not from his own collection but he’s not getting rid of his own shit.
Adam says this is atypical behavior of Jerry and wonders if there is an illness or some unknown thing, he says it should be commended if he just wants to travel lighter through life with no part 2 to the story.
Gina comments on how nobody else would read into this but Adam, Jillian weighs in and they move on.
Adam is doing a SimpliSafe Live Read
6th Story is on a new survey that most Americans want to live until their 100th year and she talks about how people don’t take care of themselves to live that far.
Jillian talks about her own feelings of a compromised life and Adam says his grandma used to talk a pretty good suicide story and he tells the tale of the time he was putting up crown molding in her bedroom when he was in his early 20’s.
Adam says he found a prescription pill container filled with randomly stashed drugs, she told Adam it was her exit plan and Adam jokes about hitting her with a shovel and taking her out like in ‘The Revenant’ and Adam says he never had the balls to question her on her suicide bravado when she was crapping herself in her wheelchair at 93.
Adam says when push comes to shove nobody really wants to go and Jillian talks about her fear of shitting herself and she says the angry ones live longer and predicts she’ll outlast her spouse.
Adam is talking about the “everything reminds me of your grandfather” water soluble lube anecdote with the gang and Jillian and Adam says he knew she did it just to fuck with him, a light tap on a balance beam, she only wanted that out of life, to knock people off the balance beam and make them step on the carpet and reorient.
Gina wraps the news.
Adam is doing a Live Read for ‘The Big Podcast’ with Shaq on ‘PodcastOne’
Adam is giving out the live dates and plugging the show, solid episode!
BB plays the drop of Adam saying ‘I’m for Abusing Dolphins’ as they close it out.