14 Feb Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 02/14/2014 – Greg Fitzsimmons, Live from The Irvine Improv
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Greg Fitzsimmons, Live from the Irvine Improv
Recorded 02-13-2014 – Release Date 02-14-2014
Production Number #1261
Adam is opening the show to a BB chosen top drop and Greg Fitzsimmons live on stage with Alison too, Greg is making his 31st appearance on the podcast.
Alison comments on the woman performing sigh language, Adam is now joking about it with Greg at the ready, Adam has a killer joke about hoping she’s actually needed and not some obscene luxury for a selfish audience member.
Alison is joking about “Jazz hands” being the signal for clapping, BB is playing the DAG sex drop, seeing how she would translate that, Alison is losing it, gold!
Adam is now bringing up fight night and the post-fight interviews, he’s joking about tasting the canvas, saying it sounds like you blew Andy Warhol, Greg has a killer reaction to the “Blow” signage.
Adam is now asking what the attraction would be to see Adam Carolla so a live podcast, besides annoying the club manager, Adam is joking about looking at the wrong podcast guests.
The woman in the crowd saw him about 3 years ago in San Diego, I wonder if this came up then, I vaguely remember another semi recent incident.
Adam is telling them about his wife having to head out and buy valentine’s day cards for both of the kids classes, he’s telling them about the “everyone is your valentine” policy, Adam doesn’t know it’s been in effect since the 80’s at least.
Adam is joking about his unrequited love for a singular gal and how his dad would have never bought him 20+ cards for his whole class.
Adam is joking about candy hearts with Alison, he’s saying he doesn’t know if there is anything worse than those hearts, saying if that was any other shape nobody would like it, hilarious candy references from Adam and Alison.
Adam is further explaining why Lynette had to fill all of them out, he’s saying that the kids are too busy watching TV, Adam is now explaining that everyone getting a card, means nothing, now nobody is anyone’s valentine.
Greg has a great use of “Spookake” and Adam is now joking about that being “Jumanji” as discussed by Adam and Dr. Drew on Classic Loveline in 1996, Adam gave Drew his screener copy for the kids.
Alison is asking Greg about his flower selection process from 2nd grade, Adam is now asking the signer if she has to keep up with the hip slang, in order to remain relevant in her profession?
Adam is now back to the cards and he’s telling Alison how they have altered the holiday schedule, he’s got a great warden/prisoners riff, shank your enemy day!
He’s saying the kids, the students and the teachers both don’t want to be there, Alison wants to see what anal rape looks like as a sign, Adam is joking about her use of a pinky, selling me short baby, I’m a forefinger or a thumb!
This is gold! Adam is now telling her to pick up a bottle next time, wow!
Adam is telling them about a trip to the carwash, working with Mike Lynch remotely from Boston, editing the book.
He’s explaining his eagerness to get back into his car while the guy was still wiping it down, he then tried to start the car with the key outside in the guy’s pocket.
Adam is now joking about the in car alert symbols for the key being in the pocket of some Mexican, comedy gold!
Adam is riffing about translations, bibliotheca and Mexico? Really?
Adam is killing it saying nobody asks for the library while on vacation, especially not in Mexico.
BB is now making a point about Marlee Matlin and her male interpreter, Adam is explaining his work on “Dancing with the Stars” with her, he’s saying there should be a “same junk” law for translators, hilarious reply about the dance partner now being gay, gold!
Alison has a killer “he sleeps with gloves on” comment about Adam’s questions asking if there is a famous sign language interpreter and she’s on mic giving a vague answer, Adam says it’s like every industry, she must hate the successful guy.
Everyone is now cheering about the various signs from Adam and Greg’s riff.
Q and Ace
1st Question from Julie, describe your worst Valentine’s Day, Adam is telling the gang about Ron Braun, his partner John and his restaurant “Muse” the popular 80’s and 90’s hip restaurant.
Adam is telling them about doing construction and getting hip to the gay lifestyle, first learning of their separate rooms and the “fuck hall” in between.
Adam is explaining how he would trade 9hrs of work for a free meal to make himself seem cool to his date, Greg is joking about this being Ron and John’s con, gold!
Adam is explaining how he was dating a girl, early into their relationship and ordered drinks and appetizers with impunity after a full day of work.
Adam is joking about his secured credit card not being good there, he’s telling them about the valentine’s card he left in the car and his hesitance to get the valet to return the car momentarily.
Adam is joking about what happened that night, Alison and Greg are now in the mix explaining what Adam should have done, Adam is joking about a guy selling valentines cards via a trench coat or the bathroom attendant.
Adam is telling everyone about when Ron passed and how carpentry and other skills led to his career now, he used his carpentry skill as currency to get hooked up as a boxing instructor which led to his work training Kimmel for the KROQ boxing match in 1994.
2nd Question from Mike, he wants to know if Adam has a story about sticking a pencil up his ass like Greg’s story, Alison is sharing how he told that on her podcast and Adam is joking about it.
Adam is now trying to get Greg to tell the story, hilarious mechanical pencil follow up from Ace, Adam is asking him about the occasion he did this.
Greg says there is no story, it’s a teenage masturbation choice he made.
Adam is asking him how he used it, Adam is asking Greg wasn’t beating off enough at 13?
Adam has a great forefather/quills up their ass joke, asking Greg about his use of golf pencils when he wants to go easy.
They’re doing another lap around Greg’s butt pencil, hilarious one liners from everyone, even Greg lamenting this topic.
Adam is bringing up Mike August’s stolen TP from the comedy condo after they performed live at the Comedy Works, not the downtown location.
Alison wants Adam to tell the infamous Mike August borrowed shoes story, Adam is giving the full version.
Her top story is on a study about the feelings of men and women on emotional vs. purely sexual affairs, Adam is now saying he’s not sure he’ll ever play a super competitive pickup basketball game again in his life, nor waterskiing.
BB is commenting on Adam’s reverse bucket list, throwing shit out of the bucket, he’s saying he may have 69’s for the last time, he’s bringing the sign language woman into the mix.
Adam has a killer callback to Fitzdog’s butt pencil and what it would do it a partner doing 69, this is wonderful!
Adam has an excellent use of “Yeah but still” as all it right with the universe again, Adam says this is great news for dudes, he’s riffing out a scenario where he can only have physical affairs.
Greg is giving his take on his wife having physical affairs while he’s out of town, Alison has a killer reply calling him on his changing story.
Adam is joking about his wife having emotional affairs and coming home just to be physical, he’s connecting it to the old “Man Show” bit rent a gay.
2nd Story is on Facebook adding more gender choices for their profiles
Adam is joking about gender fluid, great Bob Costas comedy with BB and Greg.
Adam is joking about how he identifies as Wilt Chamberlain’s cock, a huge cock trapped in a medium sized man’s body.
Adam is joking about Bruce Jenner turning into Rhoda in front of us, in reply to Greg’s comments about him, Adam is joking about one having their Adam’s apple shaved down.
Adam is getting to the weirdness of him going from the world’s greatest athlete to this, Adam is joking about this like crazy.
This is one of his all-time greatest riffs, Ace Awards 2014 contender for sure.
They’re now riffing about Bruce even having balls left after so much time spent with the Kardashians.
Alison is explaining the Facebook engineer working on this addition and the person connection to the engineer’s own gender identity.
3rd Story is on the sinkhole in Bowling Green Kentucky that swallowed 3 cars.
Adam says the disappointing things about sinkholes is that Aliens never come out of them, he’s got a great “War of the Worlds” reference.
Adam is now riffing about the insurance company’s reactions to something like this, Alison is asking him about his cars he’s donated to the Peterson museum and why he thought it was cool.
Adam is now bringing up Bruce’s breast buds and Alison is giving her take on the term and how it disgusts and amuses her, Adam wants to be a breast bud.
4th Story is on Jamzilla
Adam is now sarcastically thanking Gary for the Bruce image and he’s telling the gang about Leno taking the gleam off of his lending the car to the Petersen Museum.
Adam is joking about Leno loving his cars so much that he can’t lend one to a museum, hilarious comedy making analogies to someone in Peta, great pencil callback too.
5th Story is on the Justin Bieber wax statue that’s been ruined by handling from fans.
Adam is now riffing about Justin being the youngest person to ever have a wax figure, he’s now riffing on margarine commercials and the idea of people saying it tastes more like butter than actual butter.
Adam is joking about his child brain even objecting to that notion, Alison is getting to the hijinks in butter commercials from the past, nice references.
Adam is now riffing about the board room pitch for “I can’t believe it’s not butter” and he’s got some killer one liner references, “Gee your hair smells terrific” and “That 80’s Show”.
Alison’s mention of the past car event, carmageddon and how it led to his last great Leno story, the private plane exit.
Adam is joking about Mike August trying to hammer Casino bucks before leaving the venue.
Greg is taking it back to Adam not inviting the Mike’s on the private jet, he’s telling them about asking him and has a great joke comparing it to one of them hanging from a helicopter skid.
Adam is telling Greg about walking in on Leno talking to Jim Norton’s parents, he’s riffing about his status as a creepy sex dude.
Adam is telling the full story of the trip home with Leno and his attempts to get the other passengers to drink.
6th Story is on Belgian law makers extending euthanasia to children.
Greg has a killer one liner and Adam has a superior topper, joking about the “Make a Shitty Wish Foundation”.
Adam is now joking about his parent’s reaction to his decision to die, hilarious eagerness in his delivery.
Adam is now joking about every fucked up 12yr old killing themselves and what would happen if we had to make jocks generate art, great back and forth with Alison.
Adam and Alison have a great back and forth about models and their clichéd stories of falling into the profession and being tomboys in high school.
Alison is wrapping the news, Adam is now doing a live read with Greg joining him.
NostraStampus – Adam on being prescient about postage rates, nice use of promo code “Alan”.
Adam is thanking the audience for enjoying the show and the Mangria, he’s giving out the plugs for Greg and wrapping up the show.