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Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 02/06/2015 – Chael Sonnen

Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 02/06/2015 – Chael Sonnen

A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS

Guest Chael Sonnen

Recorded 02-05-2015 – Release Date 02-06-2015

Production Number #1506

Show Page

Adam opens the show to a solid intro, seems to be another one of these lyric exchanges referencing a conversation between him and Mike Lynch.

Kira is back for her 2nd stint as Newsgirl after her solid outing on #1505 and BB plays the “Well” noise from the old guy in the Huell Howser segment with the bucket of rocks as his #TopDrop without acknowledging this might be the 3rd or even 4th time it’s been re-isolated and used on the show, I wonder how long it will last in the regular rotation this time.

Adam is bringing up Chael Sonnen and his legendary fights against Anderson Silva, BB is unfamiliar with Silva and defaults to “scary black man.”

 

Adam tells BB about Brazilian black and is now comparing Anderson Silva to Tiger Woods and Apollo Creed.

Adam is breaking down the first bout between Chael Sonnen and Anderson Silva, BB makes not of how Adam said Silva, and he said silvar and now asks about women cutting their own hair, like Ron Jeremy sucking his own dick.

Kira steps on the landmine about Lynette not trimming Adam’s hair, Adam is giving his take and Kira is asking follow up questions, Adam says he would be cool with her carving a swastika into his neck.

 

Adam is now sharing his “must be nice” passive aggressive comments to his wife, about how lucky she is to be married to someone who can do so much.

Kira presents a funny scenario where Lynette overhears Adam getting a haircut and gets jealous.

Adam is telling them about his latest haircutting chit chat and how he resisted bragging about watching the game between Ben and Matt, Adam is sharing the details from his barber about what she did on Super Bowl Sunday.

 

Adam shares her “Dominos” reply, she got the veggie lovers and Adam says that just means water, plain cheese pizza is vegetarian.

Adam is recreating his grasping for straws trying to get the woman to reveal some appeasing details, Adam adds the Hansen sodas to the super depressing roster.

Adam is bringing up how he wasn’t prepared for the reveal about the smallish TV, Adam says she seemed perfectly content with this, Adam says this is good right?

 

Kira suggests Dominos as their special day pizza place, Adam has a funny frozen pizza forced sodomy joke.

Kira suggests some more solid possibilities and BB declares those details weren’t that dissimilar from how Adam was living before starting on Loveline in 1995.

 

Adam is doing a live read for Life Lock Ultimate Plus

 

Q and Ace

Adam skips over perhaps too frequent caller Abraham for someone else, the trick is 1-2 times per month man, no more, no less.

 

1st Caller Josh, he’s telling Adam about hiring his brother as a delivery driver and wants Adam’s take on hiring people close to him and if it works out.

Adam says “could it go any other way?” outcome for this, he tells him that no good deed will go unpunished and not only will he continue to fuck up, he’ll end the job thinking Josh is a dick.

Kira has a solid Dominos callback, Adam is sharing his attempt to get his sister hired as a hairdresser for his CBS sitcom, Adam is explaining the “yeah but still” he was met with from his sister who insisted he could get her hired if he really wanted to, in lieu of her getting her union card.

 

2nd Caller Abraham, he wants Adam to tell Kira exactly what it would take for Lynette to give Adam a haircut.

Adam is sharing his “I’m not feeling it” fantasy of suspending all work and paying gigs to teach Lynette a lesson about how much he actually does for her and the household.

Adam says all he does are things that he doesn’t want to do, BB has a funny one liner about Adam’s fantasy for him and his wife, involving them eat out of a dumpster in Van Nuys.

 

BB asks Gary if they could rename the live event part of the site “Shit Adam Doesn’t want to do” and Adam asks BB why he’s shitting on his fantasy.

Adam says his wife has many other amazing qualities and he would even give her a pass on the sewing, he just wants the haircuts.

 

3rd Caller Brett, he wants to build his own small home to save money and wants Adam’s thank on the movement in the country for smaller dwellings.

Adam has a funny “what do I give a fuck?” reply and Brett elaborates getting Adam to agree with his idea and Adam tells the marriage expert to heal and then begin to try dating again.

 

Adam is doing a legal zoom live read

 

Adam plays yet another snippet from the Terry Crews episode of Take a Knee as it’s now available on iTunes for 2.99.

They’re now playing the clip

 

3rd Caller Zach, he wants to know if it’s always gay to rub two penises together, Adam has a funny reply and BB tags it along with Kira.

Adam is now asking for an example, he tells them about viewing some porn with his gal and Adam argues that double penetration is perhaps the most heterosexual act where two penis come into contact.

Kira mixes up DP with something else, Adam and BB have a great reply almost in harmony and now Adam is telling her about dude’s different Jizz abilities as describing being doused with another dude’s seed.

 

Adam says that if you were told the details it’s not heterosexual but in the right context one could argue it was, Adam cites Peter North dabbling in some alternative porn types.

Zach thanks Adam for teaching him everything he knows today, thanks to Classic Loveline.

 

Adam is bringing up the 3 aluminum cans he saw in the trash can instead of the recycling bin, Adam is sharing his quest to find the Fanta drinker.

 

Adam says that Caelan’s name came up in the mix, Dawson takes the blame for the coke can and Caelan is on mic trying to explain his reasoning for putting cans in the wrong bin.

Adam is asking if recycling is going on in general, Adam is asking Caelan about growing up on a steady diet of recycling and Adam is now bringing up how garbage men will eventually throw out your garbage can for you when it’s become rusted and ruined, much like happened to the Carolla’s.

Dawson doubles down on his idea that his trash will later be removed and recycled for him, BB has a killer line asking Caelan about his dad.

 

Adam shares the story of a huge fan who brought them BBQ and Adam asks if there is something about Caelan that lead the fan to mention his other hero Michael Biehn, did he bring it up after seeing Caelan’s facial structure.

Caelan says he was emailing the guy and did see Caelan’s last name.

Adam tells Caelan to go stab a whale or something, gold!

Adam teases Chael’s upcoming chat and jumps into a live read.

 

Adam is doing a TriCalm live read

They’re heading to break.

 

They’re back from break.

Chael Sonnen MMA and UFC legend is now making his ACS debut, they return to a new definitely not a Jew intro.

Adam is complimenting Chael and compliments his broadcasting style, Adam jumps right into the recent failed UFC drug tests.

Chael is now giving his take on performance enhancing drugs, he’s got some true insight and Adam comments on the list of banned substances and WADA testing.

 

Adam is asking Chael what’s up with his career and he’s totally honest, he’s telling Adam about the government regulating UFC bouts and he is commenting on athletes taking medicine to help them perform at their best.

Adam is asking Chael about the purses for his recent bouts and for Jon Jones, he doesn’t reveal any numbers but doesn’t play coy either, nice way of answering without answering.

 

Adam asks Chael how important wrestling is to him and tells Chael about learning his most important life values from his time playing football.

Chael is now making a point about bare knuckle boxing and asking about the pads and gear in football only leading to greater damage and long term effects on the players.

Kira asks about hockey and Adam explains the role of repletion in the brain trauma, Adam makes a point about it being akin to coal miner’s lung/black lung disease and says he thinks of wrestling to instill confidence in his son.

 

Chael comments on the outfits they make guys wear for matches and how even that plays a role in confidence.

Adam is asking Chael about his walking around weight of 240, he is telling them about cutting weight and losing 17lbs in 20hrs.

Adam is joking about a movie premise for a Rob Schneider flick, where he and Chael are wedding planners and help women lose weight before their nuptials.

 

Chael makes a point about the misconceptions in weight classes and what actually gives you an advantage, Adam shares his own experiences cutting weight and feeling weak and lethargic.

Chael says that Jon is the baddest dude walking on the planet and that’s just a fact, he’s now giving his take on Anthony Rumble Johnson and Adam is sharing his take on Jon’s skill level.

Chael is sharing his realization about 30sec into the bout when he realized he didn’t know what he had coming, Chael tells BB about Jon’s NFL playing brothers.

 

Chael says you know real quickly into a fight who the strongest person is, Adam is commenting on him being the next evolution of fighters who are trained on MMA.

Chael is commenting on Jon, complimenting his personality and sharing his hopes for Jon to be able to enjoy as well as be honest about his partying if he’s going to continue doing it.

 

Adam is doing a Pro Flowers live read

Chael has a funny angle about them promoting how cheap they are which ends up losing guys points with their significant others

 

Chael compliments how Adam rolls into a live read and explains how he does it on his podcast, also on PodcastOne.

Adam is riffing about sandwiches and now back to his ideas about weaving commercials into the body of the show, he doesn’t like unnecessary breaks.

 

The News with Kira Soltanovich

1st Story is on a woman being sued for her YELP review of a dentist, Adam is asking some follow up questions and Kira seems well prepared.

Kira is asking some great questions, Adam is explaining when he thinks this claim is baseless vs. valid, he asks what is to prevent Adam from using his twitter audience to shakedown businesses, BB says that YELP is famous for those type of tactics.

I think he means yelp users.

 

2nd Story is about a man’s yearlong affair with a dolphin, Adam has a funny waterbed reply and Chael is rolling with the comedy excellently.

Adam is commenting on the adult children of these types of crazy people, Chael is telling them about swimming with dolphins.

Kira shares the warning given to people who swim with dolphins, she calls back the two dudes call from earlier and has a pair of solid funny comments.

 

“Your pussy smells and I’ve been with a fucking dolphin” – Adam on this guy moving on to a new gal and insulting her.

Chael says he’s a republican and is not sure he wants to be in this conversation, killer “raped a fish” line and Kira is doing some funny vocal work.

Adam jokes about the dolphins talking to each other at night and being jealous of the dolphin getting fucked by a dude each night.

Adam would like to see this guy’s next sexual partner be Pamela Anderson, watching her vomit the whole time.

 

Adam is now sharing the story of the 1998 Classic Loveline call with James the Zoosexual, Adam is now arguing that among all the possible canine careers and activities that having sex with their best friend is not the worst.

SUNDAY, JANUARY 18, 1998 – GUEST: NO GUEST • HOST: ADAM, DR. DREW

“Probably the most infamous episode in Loveline history, the main feature of this episode is a discussion with James the Zoosexual. James has apparently trained his dog to anally penetrate him.”

 

Chael has another funny reaction and Kira admits to letting dogs finish on her leg, Kira is sharing the rest of the story and Adam is now asking where this ranks with her, when compared to necrophilia and incest.

Adam is breaking down the scenario, he’s setting Kira up with the man whose last partner was a dolphin, a relative or a corpse.

 

Adam has a funny white fish one liner, Chael is joking about them working a commercial into the show.

 

Adam is now actually doing a live read.

Adam is doing a ‘coaching bad’ live read

 

Adam asks if this guy filmed himself and Kira confirms it, Adam is back to the extreme outrage that women will feel about this story.

Adam says that as long as there are women being sold into slavery and there are real problems in this world, the one cook having sex with a giant fish that doesn’t know what’s going on is way down on his list.

Chael has a hilarious reminder that this dude was seduced and everyone keeps leaving that part out, Comedy Gold!

 

3rd Story is on a teen who dumped acid on her boyfriend’s penis after he released a sex tape featuring her, Adam is asking how nice this guy’s car is anyway and Kira finishes the quote from the gal.

Adam says that cosmically this guy had this coming to him, Adam is now sharing how he feels bad for his kids about everything being captured on film to be used against you.

BB brings up Adam dressing up as Mr. T for Halloween, Adam has a killer reply and Chael fully supports him.

 

Adam is now asking what warnings are blown past quicker, car navigation warnings about operating while the vehicle is moving vs. porn website age restrictions.

Adam asks if this guy will ever fuck another dolphin, Chael has a killer callback and Kira reads the quotes from the guy.

Adam is bringing up how the act of even talking about this tape will get it a few more clicks, Chael is chiming in and Adam says her taking this to court will only make the tape more popular and heavier circulation online.

 

Adam is joking about her next boyfriend always checking if things are cool and living in fear of being attacked with acid.

Adam and BB are killing this improv.

Kira is making a point about the age of consent and Adam brings up his conversation with Mel Brooks on Take a Knee, he asked him about his time defusing mines and if he would’ve done that work had he known about his possible future.

 

Adam is making a grander point about technology arriving at a place where it can cause these scenarios, Chael asks about Kira mentioning eBay for the battery acid and she is sharing her experience trying to buy things as a youth vs. the availability of anything on the internet today.

Chael asks about battery acid and where it actually comes from.

 

Adam wraps the news for Kira, solid outing!

 

Adam is doing a Shari’s Berries live read

Adam is giving out the plugs and wrapping up the show, I hope Chael comes back very soon and Kira knocked it out of the park.