04 Feb Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 02/03/2014 – Mike Lawrence, Live from the Park West Theatre in Chicago
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Mike Lawrence, Live from the Park West Theatre in Chicago
Recorded 01-31-2014 – Release Date 02-03-2014
Production Number #1252
Adam is opening the first ever podcast from the Park West, he’s done many standup shows at this venue since 2010, I’ve worked all of them with him, from driving to merch sales to filling in for Lynch with Mike August on the laptop. I watched these two shows live from the front of house with Mike Dawson.
Dawson has a great intro and Mike Lawrence is making his 2nd visit to the podcast, his first a live show in 2013 from Amalfi, ACS #782 (Production Number #1114).
Adam is explaining that Mike is only staying for about an hour as he’s headlining a club (Zanies) in Rosemont IL.
Adam is now sharing his bowel schedule getting thrown off track due to the flying and travel, there is a weird camera aperture noise that was also heard live right as he says this.
Mike has a killer joke contrasting Adam’s bowels against Detroit the city Adam was visiting, he’s now telling them why it was depressing to see the billboards there.
Adam is now breaking down the types of billboards that mean you’re in a depressed place.
Adam is mocking the “I’ll fight for you” billboards and Adam says the only attorneys worse than them are the ones he encountered while working out in Inglewood Ca, Alison calls it the Detroit of the west.
Adam is now mocking the discount tooth replacement billboards, 30$ a tooth and BB wants to know what’s worse that or cash for gold, Adam connects the two ideas, gold!
Adam is joking about abortions for Gold with Mike who introduced the concept, Alison is chiming in saying there are certain things you don’t want to scrimp on, like sushi.
Adam is saying he splurges on his mouth and when his kids get old enough he’ll splurge on his kids mouths too, Adam is taking it back to his bowels.
Adam is joking about the lack of a brown curb for offloading at the airport, Adam is explaining why he can’t get privacy in the airport bathroom and is joking about someone filming over the stall.
Adam once again has a “botched circumcision” one liner that connects back to classic Loveline.
Mike is now joking about shit falling out of airplanes on to people and how much cooler that would be, Adam is now riffing the idea with Alison, this is good stuff.
Adam is now riffing about his pissed asshole and the drive from the liquor store straight to the Casino, Alison has a nice “oh my god” about Adam’s 15hr asshole odyssey.
Adam is joking about rushing his asshole trying to get it to make a move, Adam has a hilarious “My Anus is as stubborn as a donkey” and Alison just calls it as it is.
Mike is joking about Adam’s butthole resembling Popeye in this story, pretty good!
Adam just invented “Dookie-Aid” a horrible rap name and beverage, Mike is joking about Adam shitting in a casino and how it’s like coming full circle.
Adam just invented scented dream catchers to catch farts, Alison and Mike are joking with him and Alison has a hilarious “shits like rabbits” comment about her own traveler’s bowel.
BB is joking about pooping pre-security screening and what that means, Adam is joking about offloading heroin balloons, hilarious drug cartel comes after my sister closer, gold!
Mike is saying that every time he shits in an airport bathroom there is always a father teaching his son to shit in the same bathroom.
Adam is joking about the folding table and the Koala logo, Adam is now joking about Koala union and their association with shit.
Alison is sharing her epiphany on seeing human feces outside of water, like on an airplane.
Adam is sharing the many times he’s seen shit outside of water, Adam is now joking about the worst Marco Polo game of all time.
He’s giving a quick version of the story of being slapped in the face with shit by Ray, Mike is joking with him about it.
Adam has a killer Vietnam riff comparing it to shitting and Mike is now in the mix, BB has a point about shit in water, but not toilet water.
Adam is sharing how he saw shit while hanging at the beach with Ray who let one go.
Adam is now inventing a “no questions asked” stall for the bathroom before all security checkpoints at airport, BB dubs it the “amnesty stall”, great backyard fruit one liner from Ace.
Adam is now telling the gang about the SUV’s provided by Casinos, he’s telling the gang about his Matt Fondiler calling him with the flight delay as he watched the SUV drive away.
Adam is now sharing the details of his flight delays while in Detroit, he actually kept track and he’s sharing how they use the bite sized morsels of time increments to keep the natives from getting restless.
Mike is bringing up the guy who freaks out and gets blustery at the gate, Adam is sharing the guy he was flying with who tried to stage a mutiny, Adam is giving a brief recap and now sharing the delays.
Adam is explaining his attempt to use his various cards at the airport and how he has to go through all of his cards to see if they’ll get him access to a lounge.
Adam is sharing how the woman working for the airline gave him an “I’m going to let you go this one time” and Adam is now saying to either let him in or not, he doesn’t need you to be his fucking hero.
Adam is now mocking the idea of him returning to this lounge, hilarious!
Adam is now joking about the food offerings, they’re all going off on “wraps” and Mike has a killer Panini riff.
Adam is joking about sandwiches getting pissed at the wraps, hilarious club sandwich takes out his sword “En garde” one liner from Ace, holy shit that was gold!
Adam is now joking about pretzels in non-pretzel shapes being no good for him, he’s joking about being violated with a pretzel stick and how they affect pro wrestlers.
Mike is now joking about pretzel bread having the old cigarette voice like a tanned woman in her 60’s, Adam and Alison love the riff and Alison dubs pretzel bread “Joey’s agent from friends” and Adam totally remembers it.
Adam is now riffing from pretzel to pretzel and Mike is joining him with more of the old Jewish cigarette lady voice.
Totally Topical TiVo Trivia Time Tonight
Adam is explaining the Pete thing to Mike.
1st Description “Two brothers fight each other and an outbreak of arson…”
Adam is riffing about movies like “Backdraft” that portray cops and fireman as absolute heroes that real life cops and firemen agree is realistic and how much he doesn’t like that.
Hilarious cock girth themed Adam Carolla biopic riff.
“In 2035 a Chicago Homicide Detective tracks a sophisticated robot”
Adam has a great joke answer and BB has a dumb answer, he’s now joking with Ace and calling him dumb.
“To help a friend a suburban babysitter”
Adam says he liked the movie at the time but is not sure it holds up, BB has a nice reference that Dawson has a killer reply to.
“The underpaid Chicago White sox”
Mike once again yells out without saying his name, BB jumps in to correct him and the audience goes nuts in response, oooooooooh!
Nice work BB!
“A record store owner”
Mike has a hilarious high stakes bet, BB agrees.
“Heading to Chicago to see a boxing match witness a murder and have to run from a gang”
Adam was in this movie and he missed it, he goes with Diggstown, Adam now knows what movie it is, hilarious reaction from Ace.
Alison claims to not be familiar with this story but I’m almost positive she’s heard it, Adam is explaining his role as the stand in and how he got the gig, and the best version is the 2002 Jeremy Piven Loveline episode where they go over it in depth.
Bryan has a hilarious “Bryan” chime in mid story, gold!
Mike has a killer joke about this story still being more entertaining than the movie “Judgment Night” that Adam was working on.
Adam is joking about the crew jacket that he got and cherished as an early showbiz memento, Adam is now joking about standing in for Edward James Olmos in reply to Mike’s joke about Danny Trejo.
Adam is now riffing about Edward trying to date a blind woman, Alison is chiming in with some excellent brail comedy.
Mike is joking about Morgan Freeman’s dimples talking to Edwards’ pock marks, Adam is now joking about the roller skate and key element to their faces.
Adam says they would lock together and BB is chiming in, Alison has a killer Seal joke and Adam is the only one to not turn on her for it, great!
“A hip Chicago teen moves to a Midwestern town where thanks to a pastor dancing…”
“Why are we booing?” – BB
Adam is now telling Alison to “leg it out” in the game and she’s unsure who he’s even talking to or about.
“A cool teen plays hooky”
Nice one Ace!
“A folksy Arkansas dancer turns radio psychologist”
Adam is now explaining why he hates that movie, BB and Mike are joking about the movie poster of Dolly Parton sitting on a pumpkin.
Adam is now citing the scene where they mistake Dolly for on air talent and what a bullshit scene that is, Adam has a hilarious airplane pilot riff about stopping someone from mistaking you for a profession you don’t have.
Adam is explaining the reality of radio fame, he’s citing the story of his dad not knowing the time or nights the show aired.
Adam is mocking these movie montages with Mike and Alison.
“A Chicago Man and his family go camping”
Adam is joking about every 3rd movie from the 1980s, the odd couple theme used a movie trope.
“A Killer Sought by a Chicago detective becomes a doll called Chucky”
Hilarious joke answer from Adam.
Mike and BB chime in at the same time and Dawson says he heard Mike First, he actually saw it on the board too probably.
BB wants the title of “People’s Champion” and they’re wrapping up the bit, Mike wants to know if his win is tainted.
Alison is now chiming in and explaining that she’s never chimed in fewer times but did know lots of the movies brought up.
Mike is mocking the movies picked, he doesn’t know about Adam’s hatred of “Straight Talk” and why it may have been included intentionally.
Adam is joking about society not teaching girls that “Totally Topical TiVo Trivia” is a game they can play too, it’s an old boys club.
Alison and Adam are now joking about it, this is so fucking funny!
Mike is busting out a “Mrs. Garrett” impression after Alison and Adam bring up “The Facts Of Life” and Adam is bringing up her walk that seemed like she was in a hurry or had to take a piss.
Alison’s News – Pussy Lips!
Adam is giving out some plugs for Mike being so fantastic on stage, Mike is getting Adam to pronounce his album “Sadamantium” which means Adam just said “Adamantium” which is the fictitious Marvel Comics alloy.
They’re saying by to Mike.
Her top story is on the latest Just Bieber charges for assault in Canada, Alison is citing all the other pending cases and the white house petition calling for him to be deported.
Adam is now joking about Justin being a “whale” the casino term for a big spender, Adam is explaining what he means in tax revenue for the United States, Alison has a killer joke about L.A.
Adam is now calling for us to instead deport all the people responding to the billboards mentioned earlier in the show.
Adam is now riffing about all of the Canadian earners who have come to the states over the years, great comedians and Alan Thicke riffing.
Adam is joking about white sharpies being used for the people to write down the billboard numbers, hilarious racial joke and reactions from everyone.
Alison wants to know why they use the term “whales” and Adam is joking about the Asian cultures love for whales and has a killer on the nose joke about what else they could call them.
2nd Story is on the new experimental therapy for people with peanut allergies, while I was watching this live a drunk lady came and stood next to me shouting about how much this was going to piss her friend off, odd.
Alison is reading all the details of the story and joking with Adam about it, Adam is now joking about peanut dust and how society doesn’t need any peanut allergic fuckers.
Alison is now bringing up her question about this study and how the researchers actually knew the people were allergic, Alison is citing the rarity of actual deathly peanut allergies.
Adam is making a point about peanut butter and jelly sandwiches surrounding kids in school throughout time, Adam is now going off on square pizza, the Chicago and school lunchroom way!
Adam is joking about shaping dog food into appetizing shapes, BB is now asking about school lunches in Chicago.
Adam is riffing about corndogs and how you know you’re in trouble when the best part of your food is the part stuck to the stick, how bad is the food when a tiny bit of pine tastes better than the lips and assholes in hotdogs.
Adam is joking about eating sushi off a nude woman, he’s now riffing a “corndog stick eating party” where you hire a hot chick to rip the batter and dog off the stick with her armpit and to then just feed you the stick.
Adam is calling it the greatest white trash power move of all time, Adam is saying we should all pray to have a spokes model ripping dogs into the trash and handing off the sticks.
Adam would like a “two pitter” chick like Django and his six-shooter.
Adam is now mocking how everyone is wired in how they responded to the hot chick being used in the riff, had it been a dude it would’ve been gross.
“Nobody wants to eat sushi off a dude” – Alison
Adam has a nice California roll joke and Alison has a quick mayo one liner, the audience reacts strongly but she gave a settle down look to them in person.
3rd Story is on the unsold Super Bowl tickets and BB and Adam are mocking the price point.
Adam is now adding unused super bowl tickets to his corndog riff.
Adam is explaining the security line for the Super Bowl and BB is trying to explain that Adam only had a long line because it was so close to 9/11.
Adam is clarifying that it was worse that year but it always requires about 4 house of waiting in line.
Adam is now asking if they’re going to need seat fillers and joking about getting people from the methadone clinic, nice Arsenio joke!
Adam is joking about watching TV’s in a cage and what a bad sign that is, “You never want your TV to be in a cage” – Adam
Alison wants to know how you hire the hot chick for this corndog party, Adam is explaining how you can hire women for all numbers of thing from standing next to cars all the way to anal.
4th Story is on the recent prostitution ring bust in NYC, Adam is joking about a “super bowl prostitution ring” and calking your wife form jail confusing her.
Adam is joking about Reese’s peanut butter cup nature of mixing these things and Alison is joking with him and they’re calling back the TV in the cage.
BB has a funny prostitutes who want to avoid crowds joke and Alison is explaining what the ring was up to with their various scams.
Adam is joking about use of flood in the story and what a first world problem a hooker flood is, Adam is now citing the trip to NYC with Dr. Drew.
He’s telling them about the “Hey boys” 2005 incident from the CBS building, it actually happened twice, years apart but Adam only recalls the 2005 one.
Adam is now telling the audience about pouring salt into his own wound by calling James Babydoll Dixon who was at sound check for Howard Stern’s birthday bash that Adam is missing out on.
Adam is responding to an audience member who shouted about Dr. Drew and Lynette, the topic on the
Adam and Dr. Drew Show Episode #113
Adam is now explaining what Drew said in that episode that made him want to do a running punch in response to, Adam is now sharing the recap.
Adam is explaining his take on Lynette going to the party and how she probably went anyway without telling him, Adam is now joking about her not paying for the airfare to NYC out of the Detroit money.
Adam is further responding to the audience member and BB is telling her to stop interrupting with his great drop work.
Adam is now joking about what if Lynette had his schedule and he was in her shoes and how people would respond to him, even Alison agrees about the double standard at play.
5th Story is on a couple who are Seahawks fans and named their daughter Sydney Lee Twelfth Mann.
Adam is now saying it’s refreshing to see white people doing crazy shit with their names.
Adam is joking about the daughter ending up a Steelers fan and how she’s going to rebel against her parents, hilarious riff!
Adam mentions his middle name and the questioning he got in security at Detroit and how he chose to fib and say it is his real middle name and why he thought better of it, Hilarious terrorist middle name example.
Adam is now doing a live read.
6th Story is on an on survey of sports fans about their superstitions regarding their team and the game itself.
Adam is calling back “About Last Night” and the earlier TiVo game.
Adam is calling it simple old fashioned narcissism and making a point about religious people and the NFL, Adam is now bringing up the award shows for film and TV, the very L.A. scene that rarely thanks god during their speeches.
Adam is bringing up the rare nature for these shows and BB is trying to chime in, probably trying to get a point in for “The Grammy’s” “some people thank god twice” – BB.
Adam is a making a great point about the rich people who grew up in privileged homes never thanking god and the often impoverished upbringings thanking god almost constantly and how it should be the other way around.
Alison is wrapping the news and Adam is thanking the audience at “The Park West” and making note of his long history of coming here over the past 4 years.
Adam is now wrapping the show.