15 Feb Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 01/28/2016 – Harland Williams and Matt Atchity
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Harland Williams and Matt Atchity
Recorded 01-27-2016 – Release Date 01-28-2016
Production Number #1745
Adam welcomes Matt Atchity to the show and has him give out a vague tease for this week’s RT game theme, Adam mentions a fan outside who came to visit, BB says “who cares” in response to Adam asking about his name.
Adam explains that Jacob brought a coaster for Dr. Drew to use on the ADS, Adam is now asking about yellow cheeses with holes in them, ala Swiss.
Adam wants to know if that’s a real cheese on the cheese head hats, Gina and Adam both have never had a yellow Swiss as Gary has found online.
Adam bought cheese puffs at Home Depot and ate them, Adam is telling them about the Willy T. Ribbs documentary they’re schedule to make with the proposes title of ‘Uppity Nigger’ and how he heard via Podcast One that the crew on Shaq’s show were asking about what Adam was saying, they couldn’t listen and understand context?
Adam says the then had a photo shoot for Podcast One scheduled the same week and talks about the awkward timing and he thinks someone explained the context to Shaw and the crew.
Adam is talking about big Shaq is and Adam tells them about the shoot very briefly, Adam has not showered since the previous year, he’s got a hot dog eating contest power move reply.
Adam says that everyone is sick at the house, Adam is bragging about not being ill, he says he was fairly convinced that the disinfectant obsession in our culture was bullshit.
Adam jokes about being ‘Omega Man’ with BB and Atchity who loves the idea of it, Adam is now riffing about jacking off in public places.
Adam says with his luck if someone is alive he’ll go to the American Airlines Terminal at JFK and beat off, his step mom will turn the corner right then, the only other person alive.
Adam jokes about repopulating the earth with his stepmom and BB plays her, hilarious.
Adam is now listing his top beat off locations, he jokes about beating off on the globe of Alec Baldwin’s character from the Aviator, in his office.
Adam is riffing about competing on the misery index with his wife, comparing what she does when taking photos and talking over drinks vs. what Adam does while standing in line taking pictures like he’s herding cattle.
Adam is talking about driving along with Fondiler and how Seth MacFarlane lives on Blue Jay something, not lane, not street, he is making a point about teaspoon vs. tablespoon and how similar they are like push/pull.
Adam is sharing his speech to his daughter about how there is now greater place to be sick then the Carolla household, he is now touching on the most amazing set of dilemmas and first world problems one could imagine.
Matt imitates Adam’s daughter, Adam talks about the dog knocking something over and he says he secretly enjoys being able to treat the dog like a dog when his wife leave town.
Matt asks if the dog food gets cooked at his house, Adam is talking about them being on kibble, he says when the food spills to the canned stuff and cooked chicken breast he falls on a yak’s broken femur bone.
Adam jokes about jacking off on his dog, now he’s adding parchment and listing off various documents he would jizz onto.
Adam is talking to Matt from Dinner Music for the Gods, he explains the reference and Adam says he brought up Al Di Meola just the other day, Dawson gets on mic and they play some of their music while Adam interviews Matt from the band.
They bring up Hocus Pocus by Focus.
Adam asks him how the make any money with full bands and crews, he tells them they actually lost money on that show in Vegas.
Adam asks him why they don’t just throw away handfuls of money on the way to their day jobs instead of doing this.
Dawson asks him about them trying to go back to civilian life after their performances, Adam jokes about him asking the Aquabats the same question if they ever guest, hilarious!
Matt shares an anecdote of Adam complimenting his wife on her “creepers” shoes two years in a row.
Adam observes that his thoughts don’t change much and he is getting to the calls before the game.
Q and Ace
1st Caller Tom, he’s telling them about the new parking meters outside his work, Adam is telling them about the parking meters in NYC and the automated checkout lanes that he never uses.
Adam is sharing how tempted he was to use the street parking when going to this photo shoot but he knew better than to try.
Adam is going in depth on the human cost of these devices, talking about August having to walk back and find the meter box while he and Lynch walked to the restaurant.
Adam is talking about the founding fathers and electronic parking meters, he is back to Queens and the polish restaurant.
Gina talks about the leftover time remaining on parking meters and the way they scam you on that, Adam talks about good Samaritans who feed quarters in meters for citizens the city is only making themselves look terrible, that’s an awful law.
2nd Caller Jesse, he wants to apologize to Dawson for leaching the phone off the hook while pooping and Dawson got blamed for it.
Jesse brings up Aaron Sorkin, they all laugh at his phrasing and Adam tells him to read everything out loud to figure out a re-write and 2nmd draft.
Adam says have someone else read something out to you, he talks about the importance of doing this even for emails.
3rd Caller Jonathan, he’s calling back and tells them about getting hit by the drunk driver while in town on business.
Adam is joking about the Nissan Murano.
Adam says his next book will be a motivational book ala Take a Knee.
Adam does a True Car Live Read
Rotten or Fresh – The Rotten Tomatoes Game
Robert De Niro filmography edition
Adam is sharing how he got all of the screeners for best documentary and he looked up all of the Oscar nod docs this year, they’re getting scores below the Paul Newman doc, Adam jokes about sitting out the awards this year too, this white boy is pissed.
1st Movie ‘The Godfather Part II’ (1974)
BB disagrees that this is the better of the Godfather films.
2nd Movie ‘Goodfellas’ (1990)
Adam says if you don’t like this movie you have disdain for the medium of film.
Adam got a perfect score, he says it’s a 10-point deduction!
3rd Movie ‘Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein’ (1994)
They all weigh in; BB was the only one close.
4th Movie ‘Casino’ (1995)
Adam is going low with 88, still too high with his guess.
Matt weighs in on this movie and says it’s too long, Adam thinks this is the coach’s son syndrome.
5th Movie ‘Analyze This’ (1999)
Adam comments on this movie achieving its goals, Adam goes 68% and misses it by one point.
Gary gives the results and breaks them down for Adam.
BB calls this the saddest moment in podcast history.
Gina comments on the pep talk that has only made BB better at this game since, they wrap the game, Adam gives out the plugs and they head to break.
They’re back from break
This is Harland’s 16th appearance on the show, he appeared on the KLSX ACS 9 times between 2006-2009 and guested on Classic Loveline once.
Adam is asking Harland about his upcoming tour with Pauley Shore, Bobby Lee and Tom Green.
Adam is talking about how long 90min on stage with you and a mic can end up feeling, he asks for the Billy the Elephant clip where Kevin Nealon struggles through 60 seconds to speak on the pachyderm’s behalf.
Harland tells them about doing a partial show, Adam says the only time he did that was with Dennis Miller, he actually did it with Jay Mohr too, although Jay pulled the plug after 17min.
Adam is now asking Harland about his dates per year, he gets into a Tinder riff and Adam jokes about his podcast The Harland Highway bringing in buckets of cash, hilarious reaction from Harland.
Adam talks about getting a holding deal at Spike TV and how they came up with a show idea like 10min later, he says the show is way off in the future but it’s happening.
Adam is now telling Gina to stop chugging cock and to only think about Adam’s dick, she doesn’t have to suck it just think about it, but can’t suck any others while he pays her, holding deals in a nutshell.
Adam asks Harland if he’s ever seen a 9yr old with a boner, Adam says it’s like seeing a dog with a boner and it’s not for any good reason.
Adam is riffing about dog boners and Harland says he’s seen so many he could make a cabin in the woods made out of pink dog penises, hilarious riff from Adam about it getting pecked away.
Harland references Nelly Furtado, again.
Adam is talking about 9yr old kid boners, Adam says he’s seen 9yr olds with boners, and Harland observes he’s trying to backpedal.
Adam is talking about not having enough cock to get a bend in it, hilarious yoga riff with Harland.
Adam says he knows all 3 other comedians booked for the tour, Harland chugs some orange Fanta into the mic and tells them about doing a show for Bernie Sanders, he tries to impersonate him.
Adam asks if he doesn’t sound like Abe the Aardvark, he keeps calling him Saunders instead of Sanders.
Adam jokes about Bernie taking public transpiration and flying southwest over air force one, Gina tells them about the Bernie Sanders Ben and Jerry’s flavor.
Harland is now riffing about Wetzel’s Pretzels in a kind of German accent, Adam riffs and suggest Hillary’s Maxi pad flavor ice cream in lieu of this ‘Bernie’s yearning’ tittle.
Gina has the details on the flavor and the instructions on the carton, Harland is now riffing about Hillary’s cankles filling the footsteps on the famous regions picture/message.
Adam is now talking about people who put sodas in the freezer, he walked into two exploded soda cans in his freezer and he says the soda industry owes a debt of gratitude to retards who do this.
Harland is talking about having a swimming pool and filling it via a hose, Harland is missing a step talking about the process and how you end up letting it over flow.
1st Story is on Donald Trump making good on his promise to boycott the republican national debate, Gina has a clip of Trump trashing Megyn Kelly.
Adam loves this new paradigm and talks about the debates becoming entertainment and how it ends up being like negotiating with terrorists Adam is talking about union rules and minimum payments for appearing on television.
Adam talks about Trump’s various union memberships and scale minimums he must get.
Adam is talking about the relative cost of a show and rating earned vs. these debates and how people should be paid or money should go to charity.
Harland is doing his Wetzel’s Pretzels thing and getting some laughs.
Adam is explaining how this is why there should be money given to charity on behalf of the candidates.
Adam is talking about Megyn Kelly “the hot blonde” and how this is now entertainment over a news event and we should change the rules regarding the broadcasts.
Adam thinks Trump is bitch slapping everyone and showing them he does whatever he wants.
2nd Story is on the death and arrests in Oregon with the armed militia leaders, Adam is joking about things not ending well for you when you sign up for a group called an armed militia.
Adam references his idea for an Omega Man jack off bucket list, Harland once again tells him “easy” and does that thing he does when Adam ventures to a blue topic.
Adam is now telling the story of the time he did Fox and Friends and asked the hypothetical question of who had sex last, Oprah and Stedman or Bill Clinton and Hillary.
They’re all now weighing in on the question and Harland is just doing more Wetzel’s Pretzels and Nelly Furtado riffing.
3rd Story is on the end of the Lord Jeff mascot for Amherst College, Gary has a picture of the woman sitting next to Adam on Fox and Friends, the woman who shut him down and told him his topic was too obscene for air.
Adam is now riffing about native American problems being a thing of the past due to this change, Gina has the details on the name changes and Harland is riffing about mortal men getting the moniker “lord” and Adam brings up Madonna and Lourdes her daughter.
BVB is now getting some great work out of Harland’s “9yr old penis” drop and he gets in another Nelly Furtado and pineapple hair line.
Adam is doing a SimpliSafe Live Read
Adam is now looking for another picture of Jonathan Sebastian from ‘The Lovin’ Spoonful’ and BB gives a Jesus Christ and a classic Jack Silver “This is Radio!” drop to move it along, those damn screens!
Harland has another Wetzel’s Pretzels that only he laughs at, swing and a miss.
4th Story is on a new limited edition hot sauce, Gina has the details and Harland has a funny “lick the sun for free” and BB has some Scoville Scale science.
Adam jokes about Fear Factor and Harland once again tells him to dial it back and take it easy, sigh.
Adam is talking about Megyn Kelly being hot her whole life and never having a bad semester, Gary talks about her glamor shots and Adam is mocking the model lie about being too tall and intimidating boys in school growing up.
Adam says cut the shit baby and jokes about his arms being too vascular and his cock being too wide.
Harland is joking about Tinder and Denny’s and now Adam is saying we turned into a bad society when we had to start putting padlocks on dumpsters.
Harland is joking about fighting a bear in the dumpster and Adam takes it to gay code, Harland does another Wetzel’s Pretzels.
Adam is talking about a scale of least to most corrupt countries that doesn’t disappoint in the sliding shade scale.
Harland is asking what people are doing in the dumpsters at night anyway, Adam is asking Gary to give the least corrupt countries and most corrupt, the top 3.
5th Story is on the Waffle House and their reservations policy for Valentine’s Day, Harland is mocking the promotion and Adam is still befuddled by the Waffle house Logo.
Harland is doing a weird voice and saying yes!?
Harland just gave BB another 9 yr. old penis drop.
Adam is riffing about the Waffle House logo and how un-logo’y it is for a logo.
6th Story is on the first death after some kids mixed racing fuel with Mountain Dew, Gina has the horrific details and Adam riffs about “some go, some blow” and those old speedway ads.
Adam is commenting on the fact Gina presented that most of the terrorists in Serial Season 2 drink Mountain Dew, Adam is sharing how racist is that most of us don’t view ISIS and Al Qaeda as stupid.
They’re dumb people, before religious zealotry and homicidal tendencies, first and foremost they’re dumb.
Harland does another Wetzel’s Pretzels and he tells Adam to say it right or cancel his show.
Adam is back to how stupid Muslim terrorists are and Gina wraps the news to Adam’s 9yr old boner drop.
Adam is doing a Live Read for ‘Not Safe with Nikki Glaser’
Adam gives out the plugs and wraps up the show, Adam invites himself onto Harland show and he tells them about his premium memberships.
“When’s the last time you like beat off in a Mervyn’s?” – Omega Adam